JokoJokes

Celery Jokes

44 celery jokes and hilarious celery puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about celery that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Celery Short Jokes

Short celery jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The celery humour may include short cabbage jokes also.

  1. I've just applied for a job in a salad packing factory. The hours are terrible, but apparently the celery is good.
  2. I quit my job after my boss started paying me in vegetables. I couldn't live off of that celery.
  3. In my last job my wages were paid in vegetables. I left because i was unhappy with the celery.
  4. Do vegans get paid hourly or celery? That's it. That was the joke. No witty punchline or anything like that. Sorry.
  5. Being stuck inside for a long time due to Covid, my wife started having recurring nightmares about how our house is made of celery. Doctors think it is stalk home syndrome.
  6. Who do you hang out with, a strawberry, a celery stick or a mushroom? The mushroom because he's a fungi.
  7. I went to the E.R. with celery in my ears and a drumstick up my butt The doctor told me that I needed to start eating right.
  8. Why did the vegetarian turn down the job at the green grocers? The celery was unacceptable!
  9. I applied to be a vegetable farmer.. They said they won't pay me hourly they'll pay me celery!
  10. Due to COVID-19 a grocery store started paying its employees in vegetables It was a weird celery

Share These Celery Jokes With Friends




Celery One Liners

Which celery one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with celery? I can suggest the ones about cucumber and cellophane.

  1. I recently got a job at a Vegetable farm. It's hard work, but i get a decent celery.
  2. How does my basement taste? Celery.
  3. Is it okay to eat a lake monster's vegetables? Not Nessie's celery.
  4. Why was the celery arrested? It was accused of stalking.
  5. Why should you work for a vegetable factory? Because they offer a good celery.
  6. What did the lettuce say to the celery? 'Are you stalking me?'
  7. Why did the chef quit his job? They cut his celery
  8. How did the rabbit get rich? He had a raise in celery.
  9. Why were all the other vegetables afraid of celery? because celery stalks
  10. I used to have a job eating vegetables I hated it, but the celery was good
  11. How do you make a vegan happy? Give them a celery increase
  12. What did the bunny ask his boss for? A raise in *celery*.
  13. Vegans don't beat their meat They beat their celery stick.
  14. We had a nice, quiet dinner last night... Except for the Celery, of course!
  15. How much do you make selling vegetables? A 5 figure celery.

Celery joke, How much do you make selling vegetables?

Cheerful Fun Celery Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about celery you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean carrot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make celery pranks.

Astute Diagnosis

A guy goes to the doctor, with a carrot up his nose. He's got a piece of celery in his other nostril, and a banana in his ear. He says,"Doc, I don't feel so good."
The doctor says,"You're not eating right."

A man goes to the doctor with a carrot up his nose.

He has a stalk of celery in the other nostril and peas in his ears. He says to the doctor, "Doc, I'm not feeling well." The doctor says, "Well, you're not eating right."

So a guy walks into the doctor's office with a celery stick in each ear and a carrot in each nose nostril...

He mumbles to the doctor "I think there's something wrong." to which the doctor replies "I don't think you're eating right."

I've started crossbreeding m**... and vegetables

Maybe I'll earn a higher celery.

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul.

Even if it's cold. Over ice. With a celery stalk. And v**...

A carrot and a celery are walking down the street.

A car comes by and runs over the celery. The carrot picks him up and rushes him to the hospital. After waiting a long time the doctor comes out of the emergency room and the carrot jumps up and asks "Is he going to be okay?"
The doctor replies "Well... he's going to live, but he'll be a vegetable for the rest of his life."

These Farmers got arrested!

Did you hear why the celery farmer got arrested?
For stalking
Did you hear about the hay farmer that got arrested?
He's out on bail
Did you hear about the root vegetable farmer that got arrested?
He beet up his friend with a potato and didn't carrot all.

What does p**... hair and celery have in common?

Just move it to the side and keep eating.

A man goes to see the doctor.

He has a carrot in his ear, a stick of celery up his nose and mash potato and peas in his hair.
Doctor says "You not eating right."

Celery joke, I used to have a job eating vegetables

jokes about celery