The Best 86 Celebrity Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Celebrity jokes. There are some celebrity tmz jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these celebrity sick celebrity puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Celebrity Jokes and Puns
What's the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The dashboard.
Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help.
They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning.
The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore.
Bush asks the boys how he can repay them.
The first boy says, "I want a boat."
The second boy says, "I want a truck."
The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone."
Bush asks, "Why is that?"
The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems.
They decide to throw a coin.
Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard."
Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT."
Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
I think Bing could have totally crushed Google if they had called it "Bang".
I mean, think about it.. "I BANGED Emma Watson last night."
Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents.
Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong...
God is clearly no fan of moonwalkers.
You can explore celebrity broadway reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean celebrity gossip dad jokes. There are also celebrity puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be?
Chocolate filled.
I bet Rosa Parks killed it in musical chairs.
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead.
I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
What famous painting do cows love to look at?
The Moona Lisa.
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse?
It got angry and bit at the champ!
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating?
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn'
t a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
Chuck Norris occasionally smokes large cigars.
The last one was called the Hindenburg.
A grasshopper hops into a bar.
The bartender turns to him and says,
"Hey, you're quite a celebrity, we have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper looks at him surprised, and says,
"You have a drink called Steve?"
Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years?
Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years?
Michael Jackson
Did you hear about that celebrity who committed suicide? Reese whatsername?
"Witherspoon?"
"No, with a knife!"
Only really works if you actually tell it to someone (and can maintain a good pokerface)
What do they call the lottery in Africa?
Celebrity adoption.
People have always told me, "Shoot for the stars"
So I became a celebrity hitman
What did the celebrity say to the tabloid?
"You discussed me!"
Another sad news on an international celebrity...
Justin Bieber was found alive in her condo earlier today.
I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.
That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.
George Bush swears he sees Moses in the crowd at a rally....
.....and he doesn't want to miss the opportunity to meet such a well-known biblical celebrity.
He yells at him, "Sir, you look a lot like a man from the old testament. Are you Moses?" Looking around, the man slowly shakes his head side to side denying the gesture. Bush is not convinced.. one more time he asks, "Sir, I don't see the need to lie to me; are you Moses?" Once again, a back and forth shaking of his head. Bush tells his security detail to interrogate him.
His lead security agent asks the man in complete confidence, "The beard, the cloak, the staff, the wrinkled skin... you look exactly like Moses." Moses replies, "Because I am."
Confused, the security agent asks, "Why didn't you just tell the president that then? What harm could it have caused?" As a matter of factly, Moses replies, "The last time I talked to a Bush, I was stranded in a desert for 40 years."
Did you hear about that celebrity who got stabbed? Reese-Something?
"Witherspoon?"
"No, with a knife! How do you kill someone with a spoon?"
Which celebrity is always ready for cereal?
Reese, with her spoon
Have you seen the news about the Seamus Costello Celebrity sex tape?
It's all about the star he ploughs.
What's a reindeer's favourite celebrity?
Beyonsleigh
Unexpectedly meeting a celebrity is cool, unless....
It's Chris Hansen.
Breaking Celebrity News! Academy Award winning Actor, Simmons, and children's book Author, Rowling, eloped earlier today.
JK
Did you hear about that Reese lady?
Guy 1: Hey, did you here about that celebrity that stabbed some poor guy to death? What was her name, Reese... Reese Wither... Wither...
Guy 2: Witherspoon?
Guy 1: No, with her knife.
Classic that I haven't seen for awhile
Who's the hungriest celebrity there is?
Reese with her spoon.
Chris Brown has been receiving support from celebrity friends.
We wish Chris all the best and expect to see him soon, said O.J. Simpson.
Yoko Ono is apparently being lined up to assist with the bush tucker trials in the I'm a Celebrity jungle.
After all she has been living off a dead beetle for the last 36 years.
Just when you think the celebrity deaths are done for 2016,
Wham! there's one more.
Buzzfeed in 10 years...
"Celebrity Deaths of 2016"
\#4,562 will shock you!
Some people say they would like to be the seat of this or that beautiful celebrity
I guess you could say they want to live vichairiously
I can't believe that people voted a random celebrity into office...
...I mean, Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor? Really?
When is the WORST time to meet your favorite celebrity?
When you are an eight year old in the hospital.
My wife Emily and I have a celebrity exemption rule for extramarital affairs.
Evidently she thought it included the actor playing George in the local production of "Our Town."
Now that Macron has won in France and Merkel heads Germany...
they shall be known by their celebrity couple name: Mackerel.
It's pretty disgusting how celebrity parents name their children after cooked rodent.
Poor Chris Pratt
Did you hear about the recent celebrity murder?
Sheryl Crow, Russel Crowe, and Cameron Crowe all happened to be in one room. Nobody was injured.
What did Donald Trump say on the season finale of Celebrity President?
"Nuclear missiles ... you're fired!"
Who's the most generous celebrity?
Cher
My girlfriend told me she enjoys celebrity impressions in bed, tonight I tried Jim Carrey
Apparentley "Like a glove" is crossing the line
It's 2015. Bill Clinton is whipping up celebrity endorsements for Hillary with a Halloween party. He invites his friend, Arnold Schwarzenegger and suggests they go as dead presidents for the media. Too cliche says Arnie. What about dead musicians. Great idea. I'll be Coltrane. What about you?
I'll be Bach.
What is the celebrity couple name for Kim Jong Un and Xi Jinping?
Kimchi
i can't believe the latest celebrity sex scandal involving jim henson...
apparently he was fisting his co workers for years and everyone just watched!
The worst thing about celebrity deaths is the inevitable torrent of jokes referencing them from people trying to be witty when really it should be a time of mourning and respect. I won't take any part in it.
So wake me up when it's all over
What's your favorite (non racist)dead celebrity joke? Here's mine: What did Pink Floyd and Dale Earnhardt have in common?
Their last big hit was The Wall.
Celebrity Chef Anthony Bourdain is to be cremated.
Gas mark 7 for about 40 minutes should do it.
What's rich and has no talent?
A celebrity.
Who is the most famous dry handed celebrity?
Kim Hard Ashy Hand
I was walking down a street in Hollywood and ran into a celebrity with a Mohawk and jewelry. He looked at me and said, I piy the fool!
I said, Hey, you missed a T!
The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board, so I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet,
The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawkings.
I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and not gone to the after life yet.
Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,
there is a stairway to heaven.
Did you hear about the most recent celebrity drug addict?
I Don't know how we missed it for so long, but it turns out that Humpy Dumpty was actually a crack head
What do celebrity horses eat?
Matthew McConaughay
I ran into a celebrity while walking down Hollywood Boulevard. He had a mullet, tons of jewelry, and was yelling, I piy the fool!
I said, Hey, you missed a t.
If you could have sex with any dead celebrity, who would it be?
I'd choose Brittany Murphy because she'd still be relatively fresh.
A celebrity from the capital of Taiwan
would be a Type-A Personality
Did you hear about that celebrity who got caught stealing a whole bunch of cheese?
True story, it was Brie Larson.
The Mitsubishi ASX is like any 60s/70s/80s celebrity.
It's old, attracts older people, has received many plastic surgeries, and just won't die already.
Ask Reddit be like "If you could have sex with any celebrity, dead or alive, who would it be?"
I'd choose alive. Weirdo.
I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.
That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.
Omg it took an hour for my friend and I to realize that our Uber driver was a celebrity!!
He's even ranked top ten in the list of most desired people in the world by the FBI!
Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus.
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with vomit on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti.
Dad: Did you hear about the celebrity that killed her husband?
Dad: Her name was Reese...
Son: Witherspoon?
Dad: No, with her knife.
The lastest celebrity to ditch plastic is....
Kanye West
Today I met my favorite celebrity at work.
It sucks working in a morgue
Johnson & Johnson have hired Eminem as a celebrity spokesperson for their COVID vaccine.
Because you only get one shot.
What do you get when you cross the Twitter community with a controversial celebrity?
Nothing. They cancel each other out.
The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board
I wanted to see if I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet.
The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawkings.
I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and how come he had not gone to the after life yet?"
Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,
there IS a stairway to heaven.
Not sure it's dad joke exclusive but have a fun game and could use your input.
Pick a celebrity and a product line they would create.
Keanu Reeves has a new t-shirt line, it's called Keanu Sleaves
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the celebrity celebrity roast jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working celebrity dead celebrity piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.