Following is our collection of funny Celebrity jokes. There are some celebrity tmz jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these celebrity sick celebrity puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning.
The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore.
Bush asks the boys how he can repay them.
The first boy says, "I want a boat."
The second boy says, "I want a truck."
The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone."
Bush asks, "Why is that?"
The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
They decide to throw a coin.
Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if itβs head Windows95 will be the new standard."
Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT."
Cannavino: "No, I didnβt. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
I mean, think about it.. "I BANGED Emma Watson last night."
Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?
How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
You can explore celebrity broadway reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean celebrity gossip dad jokes. There are also celebrity puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
t a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
The bartender turns to him and says,
"Hey, you're quite a celebrity, we have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper looks at him surprised, and says,
"You have a drink called Steve?"
Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 20 years?
Michael Jackson
"Witherspoon?"
"No, with a knife!"
Only really works if you actually tell it to someone (and can maintain a good pokerface)
Celebrity adoption.
So I became a celebrity hitman
"You discussed me!"
Justin Bieber was found alive in her condo earlier today.
That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.
.....and he doesn't want to miss the opportunity to meet such a well-known biblical celebrity.
He yells at him, "Sir, you look a lot like a man from the old testament. Are you Moses?" Looking around, the man slowly shakes his head side to side denying the gesture. Bush is not convinced.. one more time he asks, "Sir, I don't see the need to lie to me; are you Moses?" Once again, a back and forth shaking of his head. Bush tells his security detail to interrogate him.
His lead security agent asks the man in complete confidence, "The beard, the cloak, the staff, the wrinkled skin... you look exactly like Moses." Moses replies, "Because I am."
Confused, the security agent asks, "Why didn't you just tell the president that then? What harm could it have caused?" As a matter of factly, Moses replies, "The last time I talked to a Bush, I was stranded in a desert for 40 years."
"Witherspoon?"
"No, with a knife! How do you kill someone with a spoon?"
Reese, with her spoon
It's all about the star he ploughs.
Beyonsleigh
It's Chris Hansen.
JK
Guy 1: Hey, did you here about that celebrity that stabbed some poor guy to death? What was her name, Reese... Reese Wither... Wither...
Guy 2: Witherspoon?
Guy 1: No, with her knife.
Classic that I haven't seen for awhile
Reese with her spoon.
We wish Chris all the best and expect to see him soon, said O.J. Simpson.
After all she has been living off a dead beetle for the last 36 years.
Wham! there's one more.
"Celebrity Deaths of 2016"
\#4,562 will shock you!
I guess you could say they want to live vichairiously
...I mean, Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor? Really?
When you are an eight year old in the hospital.
Evidently she thought it included the actor playing George in the local production of "Our Town."
they shall be known by their celebrity couple name: Mackerel.
Poor Chris Pratt
Sheryl Crow, Russel Crowe, and Cameron Crowe all happened to be in one room. Nobody was injured.
"Nuclear missiles ... you're fired!"
Cher
Apparentley "Like a glove" is crossing the line
I'll be Bach.
Kimchi
apparently he was fisting his co workers for years and everyone just watched!
So wake me up when it's all over
Their last big hit was The Wall.
Gas mark 7 for about 40 minutes should do it.
A celebrity.
Kim Hard Ashy Hand
I said, Hey, you missed a T!
The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawkings.
I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and not gone to the after life yet.
Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,
there is a stairway to heaven.
I Don't know how we missed it for so long, but it turns out that Humpy Dumpty was actually a crack head
Matthew McConaughay
I said, Hey, you missed a t.
I'd choose Brittany Murphy because she'd still be relatively fresh.
would be a Type-A Personality
True story, it was Brie Larson.
It's old, attracts older people, has received many plastic surgeries, and just won't die already.
I'd choose alive. Weirdo.
That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.
He's even ranked top ten in the list of most desired people in the world by the FBI!
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with vomit on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti.
Dad: Her name was Reese...
Son: Witherspoon?
Dad: No, with her knife.
Kanye West
It sucks working in a morgue
Because you only get one shot.
Nothing. They cancel each other out.
I wanted to see if I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet.
The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawkings.
I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and how come he had not gone to the after life yet?"
Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,
there IS a stairway to heaven.
Pick a celebrity and a product line they would create.
Keanu Reeves has a new t-shirt line, it's called Keanu Sleaves
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the celebrity celebrity roast jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working celebrity dead celebrity piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.