Celebration Jokes
59 celebration jokes and hilarious celebration puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about celebration that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out this collection of celebration jokes to add some levity to your next banquet, birthday, or fest! Ready for laughs? Look no further with this compilation of celebration jokes about birthdays, life, chocolate, and more!
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Funniest Celebration Short Jokes
Short celebration jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The celebration humour may include short ceremony jokes also.
- Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their door.
- I completed another lap around the Sun, but I only get half a minute to celebrate today. It's my thirty-second birthday.
- In 2016, celebrities died and their legacies touched people. In 2017, celebrities touched people and their legacies died.
- As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season... I would LOVE to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.
- I don't see why we Brits don't celebrate the 4th of July. Surely 239 years of being officially separate from America is something to be happy about.
- Russia might not celebrate thanksgiving but I'm pretty sure they will be frying a turkey.
- I'm going to leave this world just like I entered it.. With me crying and the people around me celebrating.
- Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table... The waiter comes by and asks "What are you celebrating?"
They say "We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!" - An atom walks into a bar… Bartender: What are you doing here?
Atom: I'm celebrating the loss of an electron.
Bartender: I'm keeping my ion you.
Atom: Don't worry, I'll keep things positive. - My girlfriend is turning 32 years old...I've told her not to get her hopes up. After all..we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute."
"thirty-second birthday."
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Celebration One Liners
Which celebration one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with celebration? I can suggest the ones about holiday celebrating and festival.
- Today I celebrated my 365th day sober!! And it only took me 14 years
- I don't understand why people are celebrating pi day. It's irrational.
- Today I am celebrating 100 days without alcohol! Not consecutively, though.
- Today I celebrated my 62nd birthday. It was only a minute long.
- How did Elon Musk celebrate 420? With SpaceX going up in smoke.
- How does Kylo Ren celebrate Father's Day? Solo
- How does North Korea celebrate Christmas? With missile tows
- Which celebrity is always ready for cereal? Reese, with her spoon
- Just when we thought there were no more celebrities to die and then WHAM!
- Pride Month should be celebrated in September. As we know, Pride cometh before the Fall.
- I celebrate 4/20 On 1/5
Simplify your fractions! - Just when you think 2016 has finished killing celebrities... WHAM (George Michael)
- How do sunflowers celebrate the summer solstice? They turn up the "sun"tastic vibes!
- How did the programmer celebrate his birthday? var celebration = ["Hip", "Hip"];
- How do you organize a fantastic winter solstice celebration? Just chill and let it snow!
Birthday Celebration Jokes
Here is a list of funny birthday celebration jokes and even better birthday celebration puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I gave my girlfriend a birthday celebration that lasted only half a minute After all, it was her thirty second birthday.
- I was always told to we should celebrate our mistakes I guess that's why my mum throws me a birthday party every year
- I'm turning 32 in a few months and I'm kinda depressed about it. I only get to celebrate my birthday for half a minute.... It's my thirty second birthday...
- What's an occasion they you only celebrate for half a minute? Your thirty-second birthday.
- I'm devastated that I won't be able to celebrate my birthday this March I was born in November
- 60th birthday Last year my mother should have been celebrating her , but because of drugs, alcohol and many hard years of addition. we all forgot...
- How does Google celebrate its birthday? With a search party.
- I was at a night club till 3 am yesterday celebrating my wife's birthday. When I came back home, she was furious.
- It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest.
- TIL that anarchists don't celebrate birthdays Because they don't believe in parties.
Celebration Of Life Jokes
Here is a list of funny celebration of life jokes and even better celebration of life puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- To celebrate my cake day, I decided to post a joke I got more birthday wishes than my real-life birthday.
[Reddit, thank you for years of facts, hobbies, jokes, and hundreds of unproductive hours] - Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents.
Friend: That's Ludacris. How kanye west your money like that? - We always teach people not to do drugs because they ruin your life. Yet we celebrate marriage.
- If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be?
Chocolate filled. - My wife and I just celebrated our 30th Wedding Anniversary My wife says it's the best 10 years of her life...
- Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore. - Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
- Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
- Life on a game reserve is like a box of Celebrations
- A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Happy Celebration Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about celebration you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fiesta jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make celebration pranks.
My wife is turning 32 soon...
I've told her not to get her hopes up for her birthday. After all, I said, The celebrations are only going to last half a minute.
What are you talking about? she asked.
I said, It's your thirty-second birthday.
A husband took his wife to a disco on the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor busting tile. He was breakdancing, moonwalking, doing back flips - the works. The wife turned to husband and said: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
Her husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!"
A Michael Sam joke
After being drafted by the St. Louis Rams, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic because it's the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams. - Conan O'brien
DIVORCED & DRUNK
A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table.
His wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
The worst thing about celebrity deaths is the inevitable torrent of jokes referencing them from people trying to be witty when really it should be a time of mourning and respect. I won't take any part in it.
So wake me up when it's all over
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An assistant to Donald Trump
>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.**
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.**
**It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!**
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!**
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"**
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**
Husband and wife are in a bar when the wife sees her ex boyfriend
She says to her husband, 'see that drunk, I turned down his proposal 10 years ago.
Husband looks at his wife, looks at the guy and sighs, 'that explains why he is still celebrating'
So to celebrate the Halloween season...
... I was going to go to a 200 year old building that was apparently set up with shriveled up old corpses, dangerous bandits, bloodsucking vampires, hellbent soulless demons, and the like. But it turns out the Capitol Building is closed for tours until a budget resolution is reached.
In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:
A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.
A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"
"It's hard to say."
The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board, so I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet,
The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawkings.
I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and not gone to the after life yet.
Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,
there is a stairway to heaven.
Two cavemen are waiting at the doctor's office
The first says, "Me name Phil. Me get bee sting. Why you here?"
The second one, covered in blood, smiles and says, "Me name Mike. Me get hit by boulder during rock slide."
The first says, "That must hurt! Why you look so happy?"
The second says, "Me celebrating. It's Mike Ache Day!"
