celebrating Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious celebrating puns

My girlfriend is turning 32 soon...

I told her not to get her hopes up.
"After all," I said, "we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute."
When she asked what in the world I was talking about, I pointed out, "This is your thirty-second birthday."

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A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..

After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...

After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..

"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"

"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.

With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"

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My girlfriend is turning 32 soon...

I've told her not to get her hopes up.

"After all," I say, "we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute."

When she asked what in the world I was talking about, I pointed out, "This is your thirty-second birthday."

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DIVORCED & DRUNK

A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table.
His wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband. "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

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My wife is turning 32 soon...

I told her not to get her hopes up.

"After all," I said, "we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute."

When she asked what in the world I was talking about, I pointed out, "This *is* your thirty-second birthday."

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Today I am celebrating 100 days without alcohol!

Not consecutively, though.

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Husband takes his wife to a disco.

Husband takes his wife to a disco. There's a guy on the dance floor dancing like a king –moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works. The wife turns to her husband and sighs: "You see that man? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him and I said no."

Husband says: "Yep, it looks like he's still celebrating!!"

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I'm going to leave this world just like I entered it..

With me crying and the people around me celebrating.

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A man and wife go to a dance club

and there is a guy on the dance floor giving it hell. Breakdancing, doing back flips, moon walking, the works. Wife says "See that guy ? Fifteen years ago, he asked me to marry him, but I turned him down." Husband replies, "Yeah, and it looks like he's still celebrating !"

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Husband takes the wife to a disco. There's a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he's still fucking celebrating!!"

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First blowjob!

A man goes to a bar and orders 10 shots of jaeger. The bartender says wow, thats a lot, you celebrating?

The man says yes! My first blowjob!

The bartender says congrats! Why 10?

The man saysΒ if that won't get the taste out, nothing will.

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An old Soviet joke..

An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet–Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests; the painting depicts Nadezhda Krupskaya (Lenin's wife) naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. One guest asks, "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" To which the painter replies, "Lenin is in Poland."

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My Wife and I Were Sitting at a Table

At her high school reunion, when she kept staring at a drunken man swigging a beer as he sat at a nearby table.

I asked her "Do you know him?"

"Yes" she sighed. "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago & he hasn't been sober since.

"WOW" I said. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating for so long?!?"

And that's when the fight started....

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A husband and wife are celebrating their 20th anniversary.......

The wife is naked in front of her husband and says " The first time you saw me naked you said you wanted to suck my tits dry and fuck my brains out. What do you think now?"

The husband looks at his wife and says "I think I did a pretty good job".

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Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table...

The waiter comes by and asks "What are you celebrating?"

They say "We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!"

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Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama...

Couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

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A husband took the wife to a disco on the weekend...

...There was a guy on
the dance floor living it large – break dancing,
Moon walking, back flips, the works.
The wife turned to husband and said: "See that guy? 25 years ago he
proposed to me and I turned him down."
Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!

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Husband Wife Joke

Husband takes the wife to a disco. There's a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." Husband says: "Looks like he's still fucking celebrating!!"

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High School Reunion

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table. I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' she sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

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A wife said, "Do you see that drunk guy?". The husbands said, "Yes. Who is he?". The wife said, "He proposed to me 10 years ago and I rejected him." The husband said...

"Oh my God! He's still celebrating."

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A young man sits down at a bar and says, "I want six shots of Jagermeister."

"Six shots!?" exclaims the bartender, "Are you celebrating something?"

"My first blow job," replies the young man.

"Well, in that case," says the bartender, slapping him on the back, "let me give you a seventh on the house."

The man holds up his hand, "No offense, sir. But if six shots don't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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A husband and wife are sitting in a bar.

They see a man downing beer across the room.

The wife says: "He proposed to me ten years ago, and I said no."

The husband responds: "And he's still celebrating!"

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A guy takes his wife out for the night and they end up at a disco where there's a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, every dance move going...

The wife turns to her husband and says, See that guy on the dance floor? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.


The husband replies, It looks like he's still celebrating.

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A husband and wife go dancing . . .

A husband takes his wife dancing.

They notice a guy on the dance floor living large, break dancing, moon walking, backflips, the works.

The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? 25 years ago, he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!"

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My girlfriend is turning 32 years old...I've told her not to get her hopes up.

After all..we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute."

"thirty-second birthday."

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Husband and wife are walking down the street

Wife: Look at that drunk guy

Husband: Oh, do you know him?

Wife: 10 years ago he proposed to me and I rejected him

Husband: Holy shit! He's still celebrating!

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CELEBRATION

Husband takes the wife to a night
party. There's a guy on the dance
floor dancing happily –
breakdancing, moonwalking, back
flips, doing shoki. The wife turns to
her husband and says, See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to
me and I turned him down.
Husband says, Looks like he's still
celebrating!!

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Husband takes the wife to a disco

There's a guy on the dancefloor giving it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says "see that guy?, 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down".
Husband says "looks like he's still fucking celebrating!"

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A cowboy comes into a bar just a-whoopin' and a-hollerin'

Cowboy: "Line me up four shots of whisky".

Barkeep: "What are you celebrating?".

Cowboy: "My first blowjob".

Barkeep: "Hell, have another shot on the house".

Cowboy: "Well, if four shots don't get this awful taste out of my mouth, I'm not sure five will either".

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A man walks into a bar...

.. orders 9 shots of whisky from the barman..

The barman asks "Are you celebrating something?"
"Yes", he says "My first blowjob"
"Congratulations, let me get you the 10th drink on the house!"
"Thanks, but if 9 shots won't get rid of the taste I don't think the tenth will either"

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The Chinese are celebrating the year of the rooster

Meanwhile the Americans are celebrating the year of the cock

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Husband and wife go to a club

They notice a guy on the dance floor giving everyone a show. He's breakdancing, moon walking and even throwing in a few backflips. The wife turns to the husband and says, "see that guy on the dance floor? He proposed to be 25 years ago and I turned him down!"
Husband says "Yeah looks like he's still celebrating!"

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3 ladies are celebrating in a bar..

3 blondes are celebrating in a bar. The bartender asks the ladies ''what are you celebrating about?'' The blondes reply ''we finished a puzzle in only 6 months even though on the box it said 4-6 years.''

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The Old Man and his wife

A couple were celebrating 60 years of marriage, the old man kissed his wife's neck and then said: "Of our six kids the last one didn's look anything like his brothers and sister, did he have a different father?"
After a moment she took a deep breath and answered yes.
The old man sighed. "Who was he?"
"You.

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Man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of JΓ€germeister

Man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of JΓ€germeister.

The bartender looks at him and says "Wow 6 shots of JΓ€ger! You must be celebrating something."

The man replies,"You bet I am! I am celebrating my first blow job."

"Hey congrats man!" says the Bartender "I'll get you a 7th shot on the house"

The man replies "No thank you. If 6 shots of JΓ€ger doesn't get rid of this taste nothing will."

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What are the most funny Celebrating jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Celebrating? Well, here are the best Celebrating dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Celebrating pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes