Celebrate Christmas Jokes
46 celebrate christmas jokes and hilarious celebrate christmas puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about celebrate christmas that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Celebrate Christmas Short Jokes
Short celebrate christmas jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The celebrate christmas humour may include short celebrate jokes also.
- I understand wanting to celebrate 11 additional days of Christmas for a total of 12... But all I can ever think about is some poor woman out there got 23 unwanted birds.
- The twelve days of Jokemas, day twelve What is Santa's favorite part of celebrating Christmas every year?
It's in the present
Merry Christmas everyone! - What do you call someone who celebrates Christmas sometimes and Hanukkah sometimes? Jew-ish
- Someone asked me, "How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?" I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you?"
- Did you know Superman has a brother who doesn't celebrate Christmas? His name is No-El.
Merry Christmas! - Jesus celebrated each birthday on Christmas... ... imagine the amount of presents he must have gotten!
- My grandma is going celebrate her last Christmas as a kid. ...According to Nat King Cole at least, she turns 93 in January.
- Americans celebrate so prematurely 364 days until Christmas and they already have their decorations up.
- I hate double standards When celebrities wear near see-through dresses, they are "chic" and " fashionable", but when I do it I'm "wasting cling wrap" and "ruining Christmas"
- It was nice celebrating Oktoberfest in September in Munich See you all in November for Christmas!
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Celebrate Christmas One Liners
Which celebrate christmas one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with celebrate christmas? I can suggest the ones about christmas holiday and traditional christmas.
- How does North Korea celebrate Christmas? With missile tows
- Why do hackers celebrate Christmas on Halloween? Because Oct31 = Dec25
- What does Christmas and a divorce have in common? Some celebrate it, some don't.
- Why don't dinosaurs celebrate Christmas? They didn't like it the last time comet came.
- What do you call atheists who celebrate Christmas? Eggnogstics.
- Why don't monks celebrate christmas? Because they always have presence.
- Why don't lawyers celebrate Christmas? Because of the Santa clause.
- How do snakes celebrate Christmas? They hiss under the mistletoe.
- Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
- Do you think Black Panther celebrates Christmas? Or does he celebrate Wakwanza?
- My friend asked me if I celebrate Christmas I told him No because I'm EggNogstic
- How do you know the Alphabet is celebrating Christmas? When there is no "L"
- What did h**... get the Jews for Christmas? Nothing. Jews don't celebrate Christmas.
- We celebrate Christmas early in our household. We have to, I'm usually s**... by noon.
- Why did h**... celebrate Christmas because weihnacht
Great Celebrate Christmas Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about celebrate christmas you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean holiday celebrating jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make celebrate christmas pranks.
Little Mary
Little Mary never did very well in church. She would always fall asleep when the priest was speaking. One day, while Mary was happily sleeping, the Priest said "Mary, who created the Earth as we know it"? The little boy behind Mary got bored, took out a pin, and poked Mary with it in the back. Mary jolted awake and screamed "Oh good Lord"! "Good job"! said the priest. A little later, the Priest asked sleeping Mary "Mary, who was born on December 25th and is celebrated for Christmas?". The little boy stuck the pin in her back again and Mary screamed "Oh Jesus Christ!". "Good job!" said the priest. After Mary yet again fell asleep, the priest asked "Mary, after having their 23rd baby, what did Eve say to Adam?". The boy stuck the pin in Mary's back and she screamed "If you stick that thing into me one more time, I will rip it in half!".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cultural Diversity--True Story
When I was six I learned about Hanukkah in school. My teacher told me, "Christians celebrate Christmas, and Jews celebrate Hanukkah."
That night I was waiting in line at Hometown Buffet with my family and asked Mom why the restaurant would be closed for Christmas.
"It's so that the people who work here can spend Christmas with their families." She said.
In a loud, excited voice I piped up, "BUT COULDN'T THEY GET SOME JEWS TO WORK HERE?"
We never went back.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Santa's Jokes
Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can h**...-h**...-h**....
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
Question: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.
Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!
I wanna tell you what kind of luck I've got. If this year I cornered the mistletoe market, they'd postpone Christmas.
Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting. Seeing carolers dressed in Bermuda shorts...groping their way through the smog singing: "It came upon a midnight clear."
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
Did you hear about the Beverly Hills school Christmas pageant? Two kids dressed as Mary and Joseph and they are on their way to the inn in Bethlehem. On the other side of the stage, a boy in a shepherd's outfit is on a mobile/ cellular phone, calling for reservations.
Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If the majority of people in the US celebrate Christmas
Then the amount of people that celebrate Hanukkah are in the menorahty
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama...
Couldn't find three wise men and a v**....
Christmas Day accident
Grandpa woke up unusually early yesterday to celebrate Christmas with the family. He was half asleep still when went to the restroom to brush his teeth. In the early morning brain fog, he accidentally got his Polident mixed up with his Preparation H.
His gums aren't itching, but now, he can't get his underwear off!