The Best 30 Celebrate Christmas Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Celebrate Christmas jokes. There are some celebrate christmas jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these celebrate christmas puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Celebrate Christmas Jokes and Puns

Heard they weren't celebrating Christmas at the University of Alabama...

Couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

How does North Korea celebrate Christmas?

With missile tows

In London this Christmas one in 5 children will not get a gift from Santa

One in every 5 children will not have a Christmas dinner with their parents

One in every 5 children will not have a Christmas tree in their house

This is not a message from the Salvation Army or unicef for you to donate

One in every 5 kids in London is a Muslim and they don't celebrate Christmas

Cultural Diversity--True Story

When I was six I learned about Hanukkah in school. My teacher told me, "Christians celebrate Christmas, and Jews celebrate Hanukkah."

That night I was waiting in line at Hometown Buffet with my family and asked Mom why the restaurant would be closed for Christmas.

"It's so that the people who work here can spend Christmas with their families." She said.

In a loud, excited voice I piped up, "BUT COULDN'T THEY GET SOME JEWS TO WORK HERE?"

We never went back.

Why do hackers celebrate Christmas on Halloween?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

What did Hitler get the Jews for Christmas?

Nothing. Jews don't celebrate Christmas.


If a Jew celebrates christmas they're only Jewish.

Why do programmers celebrate Halloween and Christmas on the same day?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25.

What does Christmas and a divorce have in common?

Some celebrate it, some don't.

Why do mathematicians/programmers celebrate Halloween and Christmas on the same day?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25


That's the last time I hire a dyslexic priest! Now my family can't celebrate Christmas and my daughter's possessed.

You can explore celebrate christmas reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean celebrate christmas dad jokes. There are also celebrate christmas puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Christmas Day accident

Grandpa woke up unusually early yesterday to celebrate Christmas with the family. He was half asleep still when went to the restroom to brush his teeth. In the early morning brain fog, he accidentally got his Polident mixed up with his Preparation H.

His gums aren't itching, but now, he can't get his underwear off!

What do you call someone who celebrates Christmas sometimes and Hanukkah sometimes?


How do jews celebrate Christmas?

By installing a parking meter on the roof.

How do Jews celebrate Christmas?

They put parking meters on their roof.

Someone asked me, "How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?"

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you?"

If the majority of people in the US celebrate Christmas

Then the amount of people that celebrate Hanukkah are in the menorahty

Why do Russians celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January?

Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot quicker than 6 pigs and a stoneboat.

Did you know Superman has a brother who doesn't celebrate Christmas?

His name is No-El.

Merry Christmas!

Why don't dinosaurs celebrate Christmas?

They didn't like it the last time comet came.

What do you call atheists who celebrate Christmas?


Jesus celebrated each birthday on Christmas...

... imagine the amount of presents he must have gotten!

My grandma is going celebrate her last Christmas as a kid.

...According to Nat King Cole at least, she turns 93 in January.

Why did Hitler celebrate Christmas

because weihnacht

Why don't monks celebrate christmas?

Because they always have presence.

Americans celebrate so prematurely

364 days until Christmas and they already have their decorations up.

Why don't Jews celebrate Christmas?

They don't want to be on anymore lists.

Why don't lawyers celebrate Christmas?

Because of the Santa clause.

I hate double standards

When celebrities wear near see-through dresses, they are "chic" and " fashionable", but when I do it I'm "wasting cling wrap" and "ruining Christmas"

How do snakes celebrate Christmas?

They hiss under the mistletoe.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the celebrate christmas jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working celebrate christmas piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes