The Best 35 Celebrate Birthdays Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Celebrate Birthdays jokes. There are some celebrate birthdays jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these celebrate birthdays puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Celebrate Birthdays Jokes and Puns

My wife is turning 32 soon...


I've told her not to get her hopes up for her birthday. After all, I said, The celebrations are only going to last half a minute.

What are you talking about? she asked.

I said, It's your thirty-second birthday.

I completed another lap around the Sun, but I only get half a minute to celebrate today.

It's my thirty-second birthday.

Today I celebrated my 62nd birthday.

It was only a minute long.

My girlfriend is turning 32 years old...I've told her not to get her hopes up.

After all..we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute."

"thirty-second birthday."

My Girlfriend is turning 32 soon.

I told her not to get her hopes up.
After all, I say, we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute.
She seemed upset and demanded to know why i would do that to her.
I calmly pointed out,
This is your thirty-second birthday...


I gave my girlfriend a birthday celebration that lasted only half a minute

After all, it was her thirty second birthday.

I was always told to we should celebrate our mistakes

I guess that's why my mum throws me a birthday party every year

How did the programmer celebrate his birthday?

var celebration = ["Hip", "Hip"];

Happy Birthday Henry

Old widower Henry is celebrating his 80th birthday in the retirement home, and his friends decide to hire a hooker to entertain him. So early that evening, a beautiful blond shows up at his door, and says "HI, I'm Susie, and I'm here to give you super sex."

Henry looks her over, thinks for a minute, and says "Eh, I'll take the soup."

I got a divorce for my birthday.

When I woke up, my wife and kids forgot to wish me a happy birthday. I didn't get any birthday cards or phone calls. When I went into work my secretary wished me happy birthday and I felt really special.

We went out for a drink after work to celebrate and she invited me back to her place. She excused herself for a minute an went into her bedroom and returned with my wife, kids and all my friends.

I was sitting on the couch naked.

I'm turning 32 in a few months and I'm kinda depressed about it. I only get to celebrate my birthday for half a minute....

It's my thirty second birthday...

You can explore celebrate birthdays reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean celebrate birthdays dad jokes. There are also celebrate birthdays puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's an occasion they you only celebrate for half a minute?

Your thirty-second birthday.

I'm devastated that I won't be able to celebrate my birthday this March

I was born in November

60th birthday

Last year my mother should have been celebrating her , but because of drugs, alcohol and many hard years of addition. we all forgot...

Today I'm only celebrating my birthday for half a minute!

I guess you could say it's my thirty-second birthday.

My sister turns 42 on Monday

Considering it's a weeknight and we have kids and all, I told her not to get her hopes up.

"As it is," I say, "we'll only celebrate it for less than a minute."

When she asked what the heck I was talking about, I reminded her: "This is your forty-second birthday."

A couple had been married for 35 years,

the pair was also celebrating their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy godmother appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them each one wish.The wife said she wanted to travel around the world. The fairy godmother waved her magic wand and BOOM! The wife had the tickets in her hand.Then it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said boldly, "Well, I'd like to have a wife 30 years younger than I." The fairy godmother picked up her wand and BOOM! He was now 90.

So my family and I go past a nursing home...

There are balloons on the sign. My wife says "maybe someone had a birthday", my daughter says "maybe it's for a fundraiser", and then my son says "maybe someone they didn't like died and they are celebrating"

How does Google celebrate its birthday?

With a search party.


I was at a night club till 3 am yesterday celebrating my wife's birthday.

When I came back home, she was furious.

It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy.

Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest.

TIL that anarchists don't celebrate birthdays

Because they don't believe in parties.

Tomorrow I get to celebrate my girlfriend's birthday!

And in 31 days I get to stop celebrating my girlfriend's birthday!

Today we celebrate the birthday of a man who changed the way we see and understand the magic of the universe.

Happy Birthday Isaac Newton.

How does the Norse God of mischief like to celebrate his birthday?

He likes to keep it low-key

My wife's is going to turn 32 soon...

I told her not to get too excited for the celebrations... After all, it's going to be a thirty-second birthday.

People in China are all preparing to celebrate the 100th anniversary - and so should we!

Winnie the Pooh's birthday is August 21, 1921 which is only about a month off :)

A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her 40th birthday. He says: So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?

Bernie, she says. I want a divorce .

My goodness, he says. I wasn't planning on spending that much.

How do parents in Africa celebrate their kid's first birthday?

They bring flowers to his grave.

Irony: I baked a Death By Chocolate Cake...

and gave it to my dog to celebrate his birthday.

(Overheard at work) I'm not saying 2020 has been a long year...

But we just celebrated my son's third birthday and he was born in January.

How do Ethiopians celebrate their child's first birthday?

By putting flowers on the grave.

How do anti-vaxxers celebrate their kid's sixth birthday?

They put flowers on their grave.

My mom

Last year my mom shoud have celebrated her 60th birthday. But because of alcohol, smoking, drugs and other bad decisions, we all forgot...

Queen's birthday celebrations are cancelled for the first time.

In 100 years she will remember it and laugh

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the celebrate birthdays jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working celebrate birthdays piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes