Celeb Jokes
131 celeb jokes and hilarious celeb puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about celeb that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Celeb Short Jokes
Short celeb jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The celeb humour may include short movie star jokes also.
- Now that Benedict XVI is out of work... ...like all good celebs, he's releasing a fragrance. Expect to see Popepourri on the shelves this summer.
- I've started respecting myself so much I feel like a celeb Last time I went to the doctor and he asked me how I felt, I replied with "No Comment"
- Celeb boxing match: Soulja Boy Vs. Chris Brown I'm gonna put my money on Chris Brown because he's pretty good at beating up women.
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Celeb One Liners
Which celeb one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with celeb? I can suggest the ones about pop star and famous people.
- All these celeb photos leaks... I can't believe it's fappening again.
- Where do nuns and priests swim on their vacation? Celebes Sea.
- What do famous people eat during war? Celeb rations!
^^^^^^^^sorry - where does a celeb who trades s**... for fame be long to?
Playful Celeb Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about celeb you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean actress jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make celeb pranks.
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand.
That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
Q: If Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton participated in a spelling contest, who would win?
A: Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that "harass" is one word.
Three boys walk through the woods and suddenly hear cries for help.
They follow the sound to the lake and see George W. Bush drowning.
The boys jump into the water and drag him to shore.
Bush asks the boys how he can repay them.
The first boy says, "I want a boat."
The second boy says, "I want a truck."
The third boy says, "I want a nice tombstone."
Bush asks, "Why is that?"
The boy says, "Because when my dad finds out I helped save you, he's going to kill me."
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares of Chuck Norris
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk.
When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back.
But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as he who shall not be named.
Chuck Norris can block Mark Zuckerberg's Facebook account.
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems.
They decide to throw a coin.
Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard."
Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT."
Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.
I think Bing could have totally crushed Google if they had called it "Bang".
I mean, think about it.. "I BANGED Emma Watson last night."
At the grammy awards Beyonce said to Justin Bieber, "What song would u sing of mine justin?"
Justin said, "If I were a boy."
Taylor swift: so he calls me up and he's all like "I still love you" and I'm like.
..
Wait, is this Connor, Patrick, Joe, Luca, Taylor, John, Cory, Toby, Jake, Garret, Eddie, or Harry?
Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents.
Friend: That's Ludacris. How kanye west your money like that?
I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
If I could bring one dead person back to life I'd bring back Walt Disney.
Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction...
J: What did Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving day?
A: TWERKY!
If kim kardashian was a donut wat kind would she be?
Chocolate filled.
Lebron better than Jordan?
Ha! Yea right.
Talk to me when Lebron saves the looney tunes from an alien race.
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
Stevie Wonder recently told his wife that he wants to see other people.
Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
o**... Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
Steve Jobs was an amazing man.
He will live in my hard drive forever!
Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris.
He is now known as Harry Potter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The only reason o**... Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
Charles isn't in charge.
Chuck is!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Justin Timberlake didn't bring s**... back Chuck Norris did.
When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
Columbus may have discovered America, but after a conversation with Chuck Norris it was decided, Chuck Norris discovered America.
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
Usain Bolt only began running when he heard, Chuck Norris was in Jamaica shooting a commercial for Red Bull.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does Rachel Marron's work.
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
He died a year later.
How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize?
Cause he was outstanding in his field.
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yo'Mama is so s**..., she threw a baseball at Batman.
Q: Why is Michael Jackson addicted to pain killers?
A: To stop him from going OW OW OW!
Q: What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a salad?
A: The salad is dressed.
If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
Q: What explorer was the best at Hiding and Seek?
A: Marco Polo.
Q: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: He was very thinkful.
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction.
He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Chuck Norris once appeared on celebrity wipeout.
They had to end the season after he destroyed the s**... punch wall with his chin.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris t**....
Chuck Norris sleeps with his gun over his pillow.
Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe.
It's now called Shakey's.
Insurance never covers you against damage sustained by Chuck Norris, as it's classed as an Act of God!
How are you going to celebrate 9-11?
I go to the tallest tower in my city. Call up a pizza place and order two large planes.
So to celebrate the Halloween season...
... I was going to go to a 200 year old building that was apparently set up with shriveled up old corpses, dangerous bandits, bloodsucking vampires, hellbent soulless demons, and the like. But it turns out the Capitol Building is closed for tours until a budget resolution is reached.
What did the celebrity say to the tabloid?
"You discussed me!"
Which celebrity is always ready for cereal?
Reese, with her spoon
Celebrating good friday by honoring Jesus
aka doing the same thing he did today and hanging with my Bros.
Why do celebrities want to be Arctic sea-ice?
Because it's getting younger, thinner and more media attention year after year.
Who celebrates thanksgiving in Canada?
All the turkeys that made it across the border.
To celebrate Star Wars we baked some "Wookie Cookies".
They were a little on the Chewy side.
I'm celebrating international women's day by not having my wife make me a sandwich today.
I'm going to Subway and having Rachel make it instead.
I celebrate 4/20
On 1/5
Simplify your fractions!
Celebrity Deaths would scare Stevie Wonder.
But he would never see death coming.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you celebrate Christopher Columbus day?
Barge into your neighbor's home and claim it as yours.
