The Best 35 Ceiling Fans Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ceiling Fans jokes. There are some ceiling fans jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ceiling fans puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Ceiling Fans Jokes and Puns

Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?"

Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"

She points up and says: "3 pulls"

Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.

Professor X: "Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power..."

Girl: "Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics"

Professor X, still standing: "Oh my god"

Professor X [sitting in his wheel chair] asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?" Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"

She points up and says: "3 pulls"

Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.

Professor X: "Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power..."
r>Girl: "Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics"

Professor X, still standing: "Oh my god"

A man dies and arrives at Heaven

As he's standing at the Pearly Gates, he notices a huge wall of clocks behind St Peter.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St Peter replied, "Those are lie clocks, every time someone tells a lie, the hands on their clock move."

"Oh! Whose clock is that?" He says pointing.

"That's Mother Theresa's clock, it's hands have never moved."

"Wow! And whose clock is that?"

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock, it's hands have only moved twice."

The man asks, "Where is Boris Johnson's clock?"

St Peter replies, "We're using it as a ceiling fan"

A man died and went to heaven.

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man. "Whose clock is that?"

That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie"

"Incredible," said the man.

"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where is Trump's clock?"

"His Clock is in Jesus office. He's using it as a ceiling fan

Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?"

Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"

She points up and says: "3 pulls"

Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.

Professor X: "Yeah that's cool and all, but not really a super power..."

Girl: "Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics"

Professor X, still standing: "OH. MY. GODDD !!!!"


I bought a ceiling fan the other day.

Complete waste of money. All he does is stand there applauding and saying he loves how smooth it is.

Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, a man saw a massive wall of clocks.

He asked St Peter what is with all the clocks?

St Peter responded, These are the clocks of lies. Each person has a clock. Every time they lied on Earth the clock moves one tick.

The man noticed a clock that wasn't moving. "Whose clock is that?" He asked.
St Peter said that was Mother Teresa. She never told a lie.
Whose is that? Abe Lincoln's. It moved two ticks. Showing he lied twice.

Understanding the system, he asked, Where's Donald Trump's clock?

St. Peter responded It's in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.

A doctor checks on two roommates in an insane asylum...

He walks into their room to find one man hanging upside down from the ceiling fan by his feet. The other man sits below him, putting together wooden blocks.

The doctor asks, "How are you two doing?"

The man on the floor says, "Oh, I'm building a castle. Don't mind that guy up there, he's okay but a little crazy, thinks he's a lightbulb."

"Well, let's get him down before he hurts himself."

The sitting man stares back in shock. "And work in the *dark*?!"

A man dies and goes to heaven...

He goes up to the gates of heaven and sees a wall of clocks. He asks an angel, "what are all those clocks" the angel tells him that they are lie clocks. Everybody has one, and every time you lie it ticks one notch over. The angel points to a clock labeled "Abraham Lincoln" which has 3 lies. The man asks the angel "Where is Donald Trump's clock?" The angel replies "Its in Jesus's office, he's using it as a ceiling fan."

My mutant power

professor x: Whats your mutant power

me: I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try [points up] two pulls

professor x: [Stands up and pulls twice] not bad, but not a power

me: I'm kidding i can heal paraplegics

professor x: [Still standing] holy shit

What does a ceiling fan say?

Go ceiling! You're number 1!

You can explore ceiling fans reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ceiling fans dad jokes. There are also ceiling fans puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What noise does a ceiling fan make?

GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!

A man dies and goes to Heaven...

He is greeted at the pearly gates and sees billions of clocks. He asks the angel what they are for. The angel responds that they show how many times a person has lied. The man sees the Abraham Lincolns has moved only twice and the St. Mary's hasn't moved at all. Then, he asks where Obama's is. The angel responds "it's in Jesus's office. he's using it as a ceiling fan"

I think floors suck...

But what do I know? I'm a ceiling fan.

A good ole 90's joke.

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives at the pearly gates he notices clocks with names hanging all over the place. The man asks god "What are all the clocks for?" God responded "Every time the clock makes a full rotation, someone on earth commits a sin." The man looked around at all the clocks and out of curiosity asked god "Where's Bill Clinton's clock?" God just pointed up to the ceiling fan.

I really like having a roof over my head.

I guess you could say I'm a ceiling fan.

My dad was a stubborn man. He couldn't understand why you shouldn't install a ceiling fan with duct tape.

And then it hit him.

If I like ceilings...

Does that make me a ceiling fan?

Why did the Polish helicopter crash?

The pilot got cold and turned off the ceiling fan!


"Wow you went on a 2 week honeymoon trip to London, Paris and Venice, what all did you see ?"

Newly married bride : Ceiling fans

Edit : this joke is funnier in India as they have taboo on premarital sex

Gonna study hard , get a decent job , give my best at work so that I can buy a house with a

strong ceiling fan I can hang myself on.

How do women in the workplace stay cool?

A glass ceiling fan.

Me: Hello, ASPCA? There's a polecat clinging to my ceiling fan

ASPCA: We don't believe you

Me: Well you'll have to take my whirred ferret

What's a fan's favorite song?

Hooked on a Ceiling.

I have a friend who has a strange obsession with ceilings.

I guess you could say he's a ceiling fan.

How are ceiling fans and nipples similar?

They go up in winter and down in summer.

I hate walls and I absolutely despise floors.

But I'm a big ceiling fan.

I'm afraid my ceiling fan is going to fall down on me.

Yeah, it's really been hanging over my head lately.

What do you call a person who likes ceilings?

A ceiling fan

I broke it

I broke the ceiling fan in my room. It's been hanging over my head all day.

what do you do when you see a baby spinning in circles?

stop laughing and untie it from the ceiling fan!!

What did the ceiling fan say?

YEEEEAAAAH! GO CEILING! YOU NUMBER ONE BABY! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!

We have a ceiling fan in our house.

He won't shut up about them

Should I tell you the joke about the ceiling fan?

Nah, it would right over your head anyway

Human brain mimicing spiNNaker is brought online, and is asked if it human, it responds:

INSTRUCTIONS UNCLEAR CAT5 CABLE STUCK IN CEILING FAN.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ceiling fans jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ceiling fans piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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