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Ceiling Fan Jokes

80 ceiling fan jokes and hilarious ceiling fan puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ceiling fan that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Ceiling Fan Short Jokes

Short ceiling fan jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ceiling fan humour may include short ceiling jokes also.

  1. I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. All he does is stand there applauding and saying he loves how smooth it is.
  2. What noise does a ceiling fan make? GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!
  3. My dad was a stubborn man. He couldn't understand why you shouldn't install a ceiling fan with duct tape. And then it hit him.
  4. Gonna study hard , get a decent job , give my best at work so that I can buy a house with a strong ceiling fan I can hang myself on.
  5. Me: Hello, ASPCA? There's a polecat clinging to my ceiling fan ASPCA: We don't believe you
    Me: Well you'll have to take my whirred ferret
  6. I have a friend who has a strange obsession with ceilings. I guess you could say he's a ceiling fan.
  7. I'm afraid my ceiling fan is going to fall down on me. Yeah, it's really been hanging over my head lately.
  8. what do you do when you see a baby spinning in circles? stop laughing and untie it from the ceiling fan!!
  9. What did the ceiling fan say? YEEEEAAAAH! GO CEILING! YOU NUMBER ONE BABY! WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!
  10. Should I tell you the joke about the ceiling fan? Nah, it would right over your head anyway

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Ceiling Fan One Liners

Which ceiling fan one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ceiling fan? I can suggest the ones about extractor fan and hanging from ceiling.

  1. What does a ceiling fan say? Go ceiling! You're number 1!
  2. I really like having a roof over my head. I guess you could say I'm a ceiling fan.
  3. If I like ceilings... Does that make me a ceiling fan?
  4. How do women in the workplace stay cool? A glass ceiling fan.
  5. What's a fan's favorite song? Hooked on a Ceiling.
  6. I hate walls and I absolutely despise floors. But I'm a big ceiling fan.
  7. What do you call a person who likes ceilings? A ceiling fan
  8. I broke it I broke the ceiling fan in my room. It's been hanging over my head all day.
  9. We have a ceiling fan in our house. He won't shut up about them
  10. What did the desk fan think of the ceiling fan? It wasn't a big fan.
  11. What is cold, blue and spins around in circles? A dead baby on a ceiling fan
  12. I think floors s**...... But what do I know? I'm a ceiling fan.
  13. Why did the Polish helicopter c**...? The pilot got cold and turned off the ceiling fan!
  14. How are ceiling fans and n**... similar? They go up in winter and down in summer.

Ceiling Fan Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about ceiling fan you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blower jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ceiling fan pranks.

So a man dies, goes to Heaven, and sees St.

Peter. There are many clocks surrounding him so the man asks, "What are these clocks for?" St. Peter replies, "These are lie clocks, they tick once for every lie you tell. Here we have Mother Teresa's clock. She has never lied so the clock has not moved. Honest Abe has only lied twice in his life, so it has only ticked twice." The man then asks, "So where is George Bush's clock?" St. Peter replies, "Oh, that is in Jesus' office, he is using it as a ceiling fan!"

One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii.


On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?”
The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”

What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan?
Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.

Got a ceiling fan? Put some little piles of talcum powder on top of the blades and wait for somebody to turn it on. It'll be snowing indoors.

Clocks in Heaven

A woman passes away and finds herself at the Pearly Gates, with an angel showing her around. One thing she immediately notices is that there are a LOT of clocks in Heaven. Billions. She asks the angel who explains. "Everyone, past or present, gets a clock when they are born. Each time you tell a lie, the second hand moves once." She is amazed at this and goes looking.
She finds Mother Theresa's clock and notices it's moved three times. George Washington's clock hasn't moved at all. She's somewhat ashamed that her own is showing it's 18:30.
She begins hunting furiously, unable to find a specific one, however. Finally she gives up. "Where is Mitt Romney's clock!?"
"In Jesus's office. He uses it for a ceiling fan."

Mittens keeping it cool.

A man dies, goes to heaven, stands before St. Peter, and see a huge wall of clocks. The man asks what all the clocks are for and St. Peter explains, "These are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time a person lies, the clock hands move."
Pointing to one, the man says, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's," St. Peter answers. "The hands have never moved, indicating she never told a lie."
"Incredible," the man responds. "And whose clock is that?"
St. Peter responds, "That's Abraham Lincoln's. The hands moved twice telling us he told two lies in his entire life."
"Where is Mitt Romney's clock?" the man asks.
"Romney's clock is in Jesus' office," St. Peter says. "He's using it as a ceiling fan."

A man dies and goes to heaven..

A man dies, goes to heaven, stands before St. Peter, and sees a huge wall of clocks. The man asks what all the clocks are for and St. Peter explains, "these are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time a person lies, the clock hands move."
Pointing to one, the man says, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's," St. Peter answers. "The hands have never moved, indicating she never told a lie."
"Incredible," the man responds. "And whose clock is that?"
St. Peter responds. "That's Abraham Lincoln's. The hands moved twice telling us he told two lies in his entire life."
"Where is Mitt Romney's clock?" the man asks.
"Romney's clock is in Jesus' office," St Peter says. "He's using it as a ceiling fan."

The Lie Clock

A man died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move."
"Oh", said the man. "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's," replied St. Peter. "The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Romney's clock?" asked the man.
"It's in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling fan!"

Lie Clocks

So, a man named Jim dies in a car accident and goes to Heaven. He walks through the Pearly Gates and decides to explore for a bit. He walks in to a very large building, and the walls inside are covered with clocks. He gets confused about what purpose they have, so he tries to talk to God by praying. God then appears in the room, and Jim asked him what all these clocks are for. Then God tells him, "Well, these are called lie clocks. Everybody has one. The hands both start at twelve, and every time you lie, the minute hand on your clock goes up one minute." "Can I see some famous people's clocks?" "Sure." said God. "Follow me." God shows Jim a clock. "Now, this is Buddha's lie clock. As you can see, he never told a lie in his life." God takes him to another one. "This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He only told three lies in his life." After that, Jim says, "Can I see Bush's clock?" God replies, "Well, that one's in my office. I use it as my ceiling fan!"

A good ole 90's joke.

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives at the pearly gates he notices clocks with names hanging all over the place. The man asks god "What are all the clocks for?" God responded "Every time the clock makes a full rotation, someone on earth commits a sin." The man looked around at all the clocks and out of curiosity asked god "Where's Bill Clinton's clock?" God just pointed up to the ceiling fan.

A man died and went to heaven..

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked,
"What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man.
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Obama's clock?"
"His clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

A Man visits Heaven and notices a wall of clocks...

The man asks God, "What are all those clocks for?"
"They represent each time someone lies. When they do, the clock moves one tick."
The man walks around, observing the clocks. "Who right here has zero ticks?" he questions.
"That would be Jesus' clock." replies God.
"What about Abraham Lincoln's clock?"
"Honest Abe has two ticks on his."
Curious about the clocks, the man decides to ask, "Where is the President's clock?"
God looks up at the man and tells him, "Oh, that clock's not here. It's in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

A man dies and goes to Heaven...

He is greeted at the pearly gates and sees billions of clocks. He asks the angel what they are for. The angel responds that they show how many times a person has lied. The man sees the Abraham Lincolns has moved only twice and the St. Mary's hasn't moved at all. Then, he asks where Obama's is. The angel responds "it's in Jesus's office. he's using it as a ceiling fan"

A man went to heaven...

So a man in the hospital died of a sickness and went up to heaven. Before he could enter he had to go to a sort of office building, he noticed the office walls were covered in clocks. He asked the angel working at the desk,
"What are these clocks for?"
To which the angel replied, "These clocks move 1 minute for every lie someone tells or told."
The man points to a clock, "Whose is this?"
The angel tells him, "This is Abraham Lincoln's clock, it has only moved 2 minutes, indicating he only told 2 lies."
The man points at another clock.
The angel says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it hasn't moved at all."
The man then asks the angel, "Where is Barack Obama's clock?
To which the angel replies, "In Jesus' Office, he's using it as a ceiling fan."

The Lie Clock

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he noticed a huge wall of clocks behind him.
"What are all those clocks?" He asked.
St. Peter answered, "Those are lie-clocks. Everyone on Earth has a lie-clock. Every time you lie, the hands on the clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, indicating towards one of the clocks, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us he only told two lies in his entire life."
"Hmm..." said the man, "so where's George Bush's clock?"
"Bush's clock is in Jesus' office, he's using it as a ceiling fan."

Semi-old Joke: Lie Clocks

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's President Obama's clock?" asked the man.
"Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

What did the vacuum cleaner say to the ceiling fan?

"Jesus Christ, she could've just used her belt!"

A man died and went to heaven...

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the pearly gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man.
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Donald Trump's clock?"
"His clock is in Jesus' office, he's using it as a ceiling fan."

A doctor checks on two roommates in an insane asylum...

He walks into their room to find one man hanging upside down from the ceiling fan by his feet. The other man sits below him, putting together wooden blocks.
The doctor asks, "How are you two doing?"
The man on the floor says, "Oh, I'm building a castle. Don't mind that guy up there, he's okay but a little crazy, thinks he's a lightbulb."
"Well, let's get him down before he hurts himself."
The sitting man stares back in shock. "And work in the *dark*?!"

You know, it occurs to me that my ceiling fan is inherently indecisive...

Any time I ask it a question, it only ever responds with "HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"

A celebrity is walking down the street

when an eager man runs up to him and says "Hey! I'm your biggest fan!" to which the celebrity replied, "That's nonsense; you should check out my ceiling."

Bill Clinton died and went to heaven.

As he stood in front of Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
Saint Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move.
"Oh," said Bill, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved indicating that she never told a lie."
"Whose clock is that?"
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire life."
"Where's Hillary's clock?" Bill asked.
"Hillary's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Everyone has a Lie-Clock

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked: 'What are those clocks?'
St. Peter answered: 'Those are Lie-Clocks, everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.'
'Oh,' said the man, 'Whose clock is this?'
'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.'
'Incredible,' said the man.
'that's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.'
'Where's Hillary Clinton's clock?'
'her Clock in in Jesus office. He uses it as a ceiling fan.'

A man dies and goes to heaven...

He goes up to the gates of heaven and sees a wall of clocks. He asks an angel, "what are all those clocks" the angel tells him that they are lie clocks. Everybody has one, and every time you lie it ticks one notch over. The angel points to a clock labeled "Abraham Lincoln" which has 3 lies. The man asks the angel "Where is Donald Trump's clock?" The angel replies "Its in Jesus's office, he's using it as a ceiling fan."

A man goes to heaven, but the first thing he noticed was a wall covered in clocks.

He asks an angel "What are those clocks for?"
"Each clocks shows represents each human on Earth. Every time they lie, the clock goes a head by one minute. For example, this is the Pope's clock, it has never moved, meaning never in his life has he lied."
The angel goes on. "This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. It's only moved twice, meaning Lincoln only lied twice!"
The man asks "Is there clocks for other politicians?"
The angel says "Clocks of other politicians? We use those as ceiling fans for the offices."

The Wall of Lie-Clocks

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks for?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indication that she never told a lie."
"Incredible" said the man.
"And that's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abe told two lies his entire life."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"His clock is in Jesus's office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

"Wow you went on a 2 week honeymoon trip to London, Paris and Venice, what all did you see ?"

Newly married bride : Ceiling fans
Edit : this joke is funnier in India as they have t**... on premarital s**...

A man died and went to heaven

As St. Peter showed him around, he couldn't help but notice all the clocks on the wall. So, being curious, he asked "What are all of these clocks for?" "Those are lie clocks. Each person on earth has one, and when you lie, the hands move. This one is mother Teresa's. It's never moved, showing that she's never lied. This is abe Lincoln's. It's moved twice showing he had told only two lies." 
"That's incredible" said the man
"Where's Trump's?" he asked
"Oh it's in God's office, he's using it as a ceiling fan."

A guys dies and goes to heaven...

St. Peter is giving the guy a tour. They walk down a huge hallway filled with clocks.
"What are all these clocks for" the guy asked.
"Every person who has ever lived has a clock and every time they lie it ticks 1 second" St peter says
"So where is george washingtons clocks at the guy asked." St. peter points behind them and says
"It has only ever ticked 3 seconds." The guys then asked "where is Abraham Lincolns clock at." St peters points in front of them and says "it has never ticked a single second." The guy then asked "where Donald Trumps clock at" st peters say "oh, it is in jesus's office he is using it as a ceiling fan."

Everybody does it

A man died and went to heaven. He saw a huge wall of clocks behind St. Peter. "Why all the clocks?" St. Peter answered "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move." "Oh" said the man, "Whose clock is that?"........ "That was Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved. She had never told a lie." "Where's President Trump's clock?" asked the man. "Oh." said Peter. "It's in Jesus' office"......."He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, a man saw a massive wall of clocks.

He asked St Peter what is with all the clocks?
St Peter responded, These are the clocks of lies. Each person has a clock. Every time they lied on Earth the clock moves one tick.
The man noticed a clock that wasn't moving. "Whose clock is that?" He asked.
St Peter said that was Mother Teresa. She never told a lie.
Whose is that? Abe Lincoln's. It moved two ticks. Showing he lied twice.
Understanding the system, he asked, Where's Donald Trump's clock?
St. Peter responded It's in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.

I like my women like i like my ceiling fans

Without peoples d**... in it when the instructions are unclear.

A man died and went to Heaven.

He was greeted by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. He saw a wall of clocks that had names on them. He asked Saint Peter what they were for. He replied "They are lie clocks, and every time you lie, the hands move one minute." He showed him George Washington's clock, which was at 12:00, and he told him this meant he had never lied. He then showed him Bill Gates' clock, which was at 1:30, which meant he had lied 90 times. The man asked where Trump's clock was. Saint Peter said "It's in Jesus's office. He uses it as a ceiling fan"

How many neckbeards does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they all get tangled up in the ceiling fan

I complained my friend that my ceiling fan is broken.

But instead of sympathizing with me, he shook his head and said, "That blows"!

Human brain mimicing spiNNaker is brought online, and is asked if it human, it responds:

INSTRUCTIONS UNCLEAR CAT5 CABLE STUCK IN CEILING FAN.

My mutant power

professor x: Whats your mutant power
me: I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try [points up] two pulls
professor x: [Stands up and pulls twice] not bad, but not a power
me: I'm kidding i can heal paraplegics
professor x: [Still standing] holy s**...

A man died and went to heaven.

As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks, Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man. "Whose clock is that?"
That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie"
"Incredible," said the man.
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"Where is Trump's clock?"
"His Clock is in Jesus office. He's using it as a ceiling fan

Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?"

Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"
She points up and says: "3 pulls"
Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.
Professor X: "Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power..."
Girl: "Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics"
Professor X, still standing: "Oh my god"

Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?"

Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"
She points up and says: "3 pulls"
Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.
Professor X: "Yeah that's cool and all, but not really a super power..."
Girl: "Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics"
Professor X, still standing: "OH. MY. GODDD !!!!"

A man dies and arrives at Heaven

As he's standing at the Pearly Gates, he notices a huge wall of clocks behind St Peter.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St Peter replied, "Those are lie clocks, every time someone tells a lie, the hands on their clock move."
"Oh! Whose clock is that?" He says pointing.
"That's Mother Theresa's clock, it's hands have never moved."
"Wow! And whose clock is that?"
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock, it's hands have only moved twice."
The man asks, "Where is Boris Johnson's clock?"
St Peter replies, "We're using it as a ceiling fan"

Professor X [sitting in his wheel chair] asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?" Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"

She points up and says: "3 pulls"
Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.
Professor X: "Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power..."
r>Girl: "Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics"
Professor X, still standing: "Oh my god"