The Best 78 Cave Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Cave jokes. There are some cave lair jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cave aven puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Cave Jokes and Puns
My cave exploring guide asked me if I'd ever repelled before.
I told him that I've been repelling people for years.
A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure.
He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out.
The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double."
The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion."
The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions.
The man said "I would like a million dollars."
The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars.
Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."
Two bats are sitting in a cave...
...one looks at the other a says, "I'm hungry. Think I'll go get some blood". So he flew out of the cave.
About an hour later he returns with his face covered in blood. His buddy looks at him and says, "Wow! How did you get all that blood?".
"Well...", he replies, "you know when you are flying out of the cave, you hang a right and then you see that tree in front of you..."
"Yeah?", says his buddy.
He replies, "Well.....I didn't".
My dad's favourite joke - Harry the vampire bat
So one day Harry the vampire bat gets back to his cave, with his entire face absolutely covered with blood. All the other bats are incredulous, demanding where Harry found all the blood. Harry agrees to show them. So they all follow Harry out of the cave, over the river, and through some fields, until they get to a field with a single tree in the middle of it. All the bats are impatient, saying 'Harry is the blood here? Where is it, man? Harry replied 'You see that tree there? I didn't.'
Did you know, the cave where Jesus was resurrected...
contained a large quantity of hydrating body lotion? He was moist-jew-rising.
What cheese do hunters use to goad a bear out from its cave in the winter?
Camenbert
I thought Bill Gates would cave and release the new Microsoft Office early.
But he kept his Word.
Why did the pedophile go into the cave?
He was looking for miners.
A man wakes up with a lamp
A man wakes up with a lamp in a cave, he rubs the lamp and the genie says 'you have one wish left.' In his excitement he asked "I Wish I truly knew myself ".
The genie laughed, 'that was your first wish!'
'What was my second wish? '
'To forget. '
Cavemen were smarter than we think.
Do you know why cavemen dragged their women around by the hair?
It was so they wouldn't fill up with rocks.
There are two cavemen sitting by a fire...
One is eating some bugs he found, and he says to the other, "You like beetles?"
and his friend says, "No,*CRUNCH CRUNCH*, me more of a stones guy."
You can explore cave bats reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cave excursion dad jokes. There are also cave puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Last year I got so hammered on Good Friday
I woke up in a cave three days later
Did you hear that Jesus was a bit of a drunk?
One time He got so hammered that He fell asleep in a cave for three days before He woke up.
(heard in church today) :-) Happy Easter!
Two vampire bats are hanging from the ceiling of their cave...
... and one of them says he's hungry, so he flies off to find some food. Within a minute, he's back, blood all round his mouth, looking like he's had a really good meal.
The other bat is amazed, and says, "Where did you find so much blood so fast?"
So the first bat says, "Come with me, I'll show you." And he leads his friend to the mouth of the cave.
"See that big rock there?" He asks.
The other bat nods.
"I didn't."
A saber-tooth tiger arrives at a cave party
Where it's friends had been partying with a bunch of cave-people.
"I see I'm too late," says the tiger.
"Yup," says another. "Everyone's eaten"
Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?
Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with dirt.
Caveman Diet
My wife put me on the cave man diet. She says that like our ancestors, we can only eat things you would gather or catch. After about six weeks of this, I've come to the conclusion, I can catch a pizza guy.
You see that wall?
A group of vampire bats are hanging out in a cave. All the food in the area is gone and they are the brink of starving to death. One of the bats decides leave to look for food out of desperation. He comes back 30 minutes later and has blood on his face. The other bats are very curious and ask him repeatedly where he got the blood from. Each time, he tries to ignore them and says he doesn't want to talk about it. After 30 minutes of questioning, he breaks down and tells the others to follow him. He flies them to a huge mountainous wall 15 minutes away, and stops. He looks at the others and says,
'You see that wall?'
And they all exciteldy repeat, 'Yea yea, we see it!'
He says again, 'Do you really see that wall?'
They all say again in anticipation, 'Yea yea we see it!'
'Well I didn't!'
Paddy and Murphy are in a dark cave.
Paddy says "It's too dark. Do you have a match?"
Murphy hands Paddy a match, which Paddy strikes against the wall..but nothing happens. He strikes the match again but, again, nothing.
Paddy says to Murphy "This match doesn't work."
"That's strange," says Murphy. "It worked earlier."
Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave?
He had to go to the Bat Room.
[an old classic]
So I wrote a Musical
It was about a tragic coal mining operation ,unfortunately, the cave collapsed and the workers inside were killed.
I decided to write it in A flat minor.
Two bats...
were in a cave thirsty for blood. One bat looks to the other and says, "I'm going to look for blood, stay here I'll be back".
He flies out of the cave and returns after a long time with blood dripping out of his mouth.
Excited, the other bat asks him "Where did you find so much blood??".
The other bat says, "you go out of this cave and turn left".
"Yes", replied the other bat, excitedly.
"Then you see a tree"
"Yeah"
"Well, I didn't".
what does Geico and your girlfriend have in common?
Shes so easy a cave man could do her.
My collection has been ruined ... happens every Christmas.
I collect them in the basement (the Man Cave, of course). But she routinely trades my Muntjac deer (not easy to find in the US, mind you) and Chinese deer and replaces them with garden-variety reindeer every Christmas. I've asked her and asked her.
I am tired of her common deering my Man Cave.
Why did the cave hate miners?
They're always picking on him.
What did the caveman order at the cafeteria?
A Club Sandwich
Did you know Jesus is a drinker?
He was so hammered one time, he woke up 3 days later inside a cave
Two cavemen were chiseling on slabs of rock in a cave
Suddenly one of the cavemen shouted, "I've did it! I've discovered zero!"
The other caveman asked, "What is it?"
The first caveman replied, "Oh, nothing."
What's the difference between Neanderthal man, and Cro-magnon man?
Linguistic competence and polychromatic cave paintings.
Why did cavemen drag women by their hair?
Because if they dragged them by their feet, they'd fill up with mud!
I love this old joke!
There was once a kingdom, a long, long time ago. where a dragon would eat the virgins of the land.
Then one wonderful day, a hero came to the kingdom. The leader told the hero of their predicament. He told him that every day, the dragon would take a few virgins to his cave to eat. The hero said that he will save the kingdom, and take care of the dragon.
After two weeks, the dragon starved to death.
What did the caveman say after he got bit by a cat?
Me ow
What did the old man in the cave say to Link before he went on his adventure in Zelda?
Cavemen had a specific reason for dragging their women by the hair...
...they filled up with dirt when drug the other way.
A caveman walks into an auditorium
He sits down in the front row and a janitor walks by. The janitor turns to the caveman and says, "Hey, the anthropology lecture doesn't start for another hour. You're early, man."
Told my boss my idea for a game where the user would steal an idol from a cave monster.
He told me to run with it.
Told my dad that 12 boys from a junior football team are lost in a flooded cave in Thailand.
Dad: He told me they should call a priest.
Me: Dad! They could still be alive.
Dad: Yes I believe that they are still alive as well, just toss a priest in the cave and he'll find those boys real quick.
The boys trapped in a cave in Thailand need to become diving experts to escape
Sounds like a job for Neymar
"The 12 boys stranded in a flooded cave system in Thailand have started diving lessons in the latest step in efforts to bring them out alive."
I think they've hired Naymar.
It is taking much longer to rescue the boys trapped in the Thai cave.
All the diving experts are participating in the World Cup in Russia.
Now that Brazil is out of the World Cup they should go help the Thai kids stuck in that cave...
After all they're the world's most talented divers.
We should send Neymar to the cave and save the children
Because he is one of the best divers
When the little boys stuck in that cave in Thailand are rescued, there's definitely gonna be a movie. There's a ex US Navy Seal helping. They're gonna make the movie all about him
and have Scarlett Johansen playing one of the Thai boys.
Tell you what, it's lucky that those Kids trapped in the cave in Thailand are footballers
It means they're already good divers.
Brazil have sent star player Neymar to Thailand to help rescue the young footballers in the cave
...they heard they needed someone to teach them how to dive
My friend was surprised when I said I hadn't heard about the kids in Thailand being rescued
Where have you been? Living in a cave?
I heard the last two kids rescued raced eachother to the end of the cave...
Rescuers reported the race ended in a Thai.
I heard from the news that they finally got all the boys out of the cave.
Another happy ending in Thailand, it seems.
Had a bet going with a friend over who would be the first to get those kids out of that cave, Elon Musk or the Navy SEALs...
...He said Elon Musk, I said it would be a Thai.
I'm glad the cave rescue is complete....
Now when I google Thai boys I can get back to normal results
Neymar is meeting up with the Thailand football team who were trapped in a cave...
He's going to teach them how to dive
You would think with an entire soccer team stuck in a cave....
One of them would have known how to dive
What's the difference between the Thai cave boys and English football?
The boys are coming home
What's the difference between the Tham Luang cave boys and the FIFA World Cup?
The boys are coming home.
Do you know who holds the world record for time spent in a cave?
It turns out it's actually a Thai
Hey girl are you a Thai cave?
Cuz I want to put 12 kids in you
Somebody should've told Logan Paul the Thai kids in the cave had died.
He would have found them in no time.
Who holds the record for longest time trapped in a cave with a soccer team?
It's a Thai
What country is known for cave paintings?
Denmark
The news said that the Thai boys trapped in the cave system had no idea about the world outside following the happenings of the rescue, so I guess you could say that....
They were in the dark about their situation!
Hey girl are you a cave in Thailand?
Cause I wanna leave some kids inside you
Two men are in a cave
One says to the other, "it's dark in here isn't it?"
The other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
Two bats were hanging upside down in a cave
The first bat asks the second, Do you remember the worst day of your life?
I sure do," said the second bat. "It was the day I had diarrhea.
Even though we didn't get the glorious wall the president promised...
We did get a massive cave.
Although we may never see Trump Wall...
... we all just got to see Trump Cave.
I thought Trump wanted a wall.
Turns out he got a cave.
Why where the cave people mad about their children playing with rocks all the time.
They wouldn't stop getting stoned, staring at tablets, and playing rock and roll all day.
An engineer, an architect and a mathematician are trapped in a cave with nothing but a can of food each and they want to get the cans open so that they can eat.
The engineer finds a rock and taps it against the weak spot of the can. The architect throws the can against the wall in a way that doesn't collapse the cave. The mathematician then announces loudly to the other two, Let my can be open, how do we close it?
Don and his friend Eva we're exploring caves in the town of Level for our palindrome school project
Eva said there were many things they could not do in caves. Don asked her a question using his knowledge from palindrome school. Don said, Eva can I stab bats in a cave . She said no don . Don then said, Eva can I pose as aesop in a cave . She again said, no don .
How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs?
Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.
Why did the caveman amputee go to the thrift store?
To buy second hand
What kind of pants does a cave explorer wear?
Stalac-tights
Why are spelunkers horrible negotiators?
Because they love to cave.
A man shouted into a cave, "Anyone in there?"
A sound in the cave immediately replied, "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO".
Then he got ran over by a train.
A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave.....
discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave.
Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heck are you doing down there?"
And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!"
Two cavemen are waiting at the doctor's office
The first says, "Me name Phil. Me get bee sting. Why you here?"
The second one, covered in blood, smiles and says, "Me name Mike. Me get hit by boulder during rock slide."
The first says, "That must hurt! Why you look so happy?"
The second says, "Me celebrating. It's Mike Ache Day!"
Two bats are going for their midnight feed
After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first bat says enviously, "Where did you get all that blood from?"
The second bat replies, "Follow me. I'll show you."
After awhile the second bat leads them to a cave. He says, "You see that wall over there?"
The hungry bat excitedly says, "Yes!"
Other bat says, "I didn't."
Here I am, standing at the entrance of this deep cave.
Who's that idiot inside repeating everything I shout?
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cave cellar jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cave burrow piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.