Cautious Jokes
20 cautious jokes and hilarious cautious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cautious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cautious Short Jokes
Short cautious jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cautious humour may include short careful jokes also.
- So a blind man enters a store swinging his dog around his head The manager approached him, cautiously asking, "Do you need help with anything?"
The man replies, "Nope, just looking around." - Parents should be cautious about having there kids do virtual learning... The internet has a lot of PDF files.
- A friend of mine was given a new iwatch but he was suspicious someone was using it to spy on him. Ever cautious he told me he likes to keep it at arms length.
- I like my presidents like I like my slaves Cautious and skeptical about ideas that start off with "I ran"
- Police are cautiously looking for a suspect with red hair They are pursuing the lead gingerly.
- I got banned from driving for speeding. The emergency unit where I work are overly cautious.
- Where is the one place that had alcohol and boys are more cautious that girls? A catholic church
- I tend to be extra cautious around tall, large men with ten gallon hats They're pretty shady individuals.
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Cautious One Liners
Which cautious one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cautious? I can suggest the ones about wary and caution.
- What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea? Uncertaintea.
- What is the name of Hercule's cautious brother? Carefules.
- What do you call a man who's overly cautious? Justin Case
- Why should you be cautious when stepping on dominoes? You're walking on thin dice.
- Why did the cautious gambler never go camping? He didn't want to stake his tent.
- What breed of dog should you be most cautious of in the kitchen? A shar-pei..
- What do you call a wolf that is cautious? An aware wolf.
Uproarious Cautious Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about cautious you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean careless jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cautious pranks.
2 foreign immigrants have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other,
''"I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Three women and ducks
Three women die in a car accident and go to heaven when they are at the gate god tells them that there is only one rule and that is that you may not step on a duck. They women enter and do their best to enjoy heaven while being cautious about where they step for there are ducks everywhere. After about a week one of the three women steps on a duck and suddenly this old, smelly, repulsive and hairy man is chained to her for life. This only makes the other women more careful and another month passes by when a second of the three women steps on a duck. Then chained to her is a man more repulsive then the first. The third woman becomes ever so cautious and make it a whole year without treading upon a duck. Chained to her is a handsom, muscular and wonderful gentleman. She says to him "What happened to you?" he replies " I stepped on a duck..."
A guy is doing 90 in a 75 and sees lights from a patrol car in the mirror...
He thinks furiously for a moment and then floors it, 95... 100.. 110... Finally, with the officer still hot on his tail he slows to a crawl and pulls over to the roadside.
The officer, obviously on edge, cautiously approaches the car as the man rolls down the window and places hands out where they can easily be seen.
"You were going a little fast there," the officer says "but it is the end of my shift and tonight the boys are coming over for beers and cards, so you have exactly one chance to explain yourself."
The man, with all the sincerity he could muster, replied "Sir, round about a year ago my wife left me for a state trooper. I tell ya, that nag leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me and I knew it was too good to be true because when I saw your lights in the rearview, I could have sworn you were bringing her back."
The officer paused for a moment and said "Have a nice day and drive safe."
Two Scottish nuns
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replied, "But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one.
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs'.
The mother superior was first to open hers, stared at it for a moment, then leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
An old rabbi feels his time on earth is coming to an end...
He takes stock of his life and thinks about all the things he's done, and all the things he wishes he'd done. He thinks to himself, "I've always wanted to try pork!"
So the rabbi, being a cautious man, travels a few towns over and looks for a restaurant. Finding a likely place, he reads the menu and sees what he's looking for - a whole suckling pig. He sits down and places the order. Soon the pig arrives, skin crisp and glistening, with a big red apple in its mouth.
The rabbi is just about to tuck in when a member of his synagogue walks in and spots him. "Rabbi!" he exclaims, aghast, "What on Earth are you *doing*?!".
The rabbi looks at his plate, looks at the guy, and says "This restaurant! I order a baked apple, look how they serve it!"
A man walks into a bar and orders seven shots of tequila
The bartender lines up the shots, and the man starts taking them one after another.
The bartender says "wow you're drinking those pretty fast"
The guy says "you would too if you had what I have"
The bartender steps back cautiously "what do you have?"
The guy says "fifty cents"
Yesterday, I saw my apartment neighbor trying to kick in his own door
I knew he was a criminal, and had served some time for theft and B&E but I wasn't aware that he was crazy.
So I cautiously asked him what he was doing.
He replied, "Working from home."
Progressives are enraged, conservatives are cautiously optimistic, but no group is more excited than the Imagineers of Disney.
For the first time in the history of the Hall of Presidents, they have a shot at making an audioanimatronic more realistic than the original.
A man is very worried about the future...
Anxious with fright, he visits the village soothsayer and asks him what the future holds.
''Hold your hand out for me.''
The man does as requested and the soothsayer looks at the hand, the shapes and patterns intriguing him. A bit cautiously he says ''Your mother in law will die very soon.''
''I know that already! Just tell me if the police will able to catch me or not!''
(I was watching an Afghan comedy show and this joke came up! :)
Something stinks on my flight
I can't find it. I know I'm not the only one. Everybody around me has scrunched up faces. Someone hit the flight attendant button. The flight attendant notices quickly as well, and begins searching for the source. She starts ripping open the overhead storage bins, smelling each one cautiously. With a wretch, she grabs one case from above, yanks it to the ground and opens it to find a dead rabbit. The owner immediately jumps up and tells, "Hey, that's my carrion!"