The Best 30 Caution Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Caution jokes. There are some caution lecture jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these caution cobblers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Caution Jokes and Puns
I had a job offer in Newark, but I heard it's dangerous...
So I called a friend of a friend who lives there. He said, "It has a bad reputation, but if you use basic caution and common sense, it can be a fun, vibrant place to live."
I said, "Cool! By the way, what do you do there?"
He said, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck."
So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, "caution, I'm a maneater".
I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "excuse me, Miss... about your shirt"
She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted; "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a comment about how I'm so fat and how I actually eat men.. I can't help my weight you know. I have feelings too and your comments can really hurt."
I looked at her, confused and said; "That's actually not what I was going to say at all."
"Oh.." she replied as a smile started to come across her face. "What were you going to say?"
"That's not how you spell manatee."
Not exactly a joke, butthe usually get a great reaction. Caution: not for use with those who lack basic math skills.
Pick a number from 1 to 9, but don't tell me what it is. Multiply that number by 9. If the the result is a two digit number, add the two digits together. Now subtract 5.
Where the letters of the alphabet correspond to the numbers 1 though 26, pick the letter associated with the number you have left. Think of a country that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the country, and think of an animal that begins with that letter. Take the last letter of the animal, and think of a color that begins with that letter.
Now.... How many orange kangaroos are there in Denmark?
Caution before taking kids to work.
An 8-year old girl went to the office with her father on 'Take Your Kid to Work Day'. As they were walking around the office, the young girl starting crying and getting very cranky, her father asked what was wrong with her.
As the staff gathered round she sobbed loudly, Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?
Got kicked out of Barnes and Noble for moving the "Caution Wet Floor" sign to the Fifty Shades of Gray aisle.
The police almost arrested a man for wanking to a caution sign.
But he got off with a warning.
[Possible OC] What's the worst thing to write in Braille?
Caution hot surface
![Caution joke, [Possible OC] What's the worst thing to write in Braille?](/images/jokes/caution-jokes-the-police-almost-arrested-a-man-for-wanking-to-a.jpg "Caution joke, [Possible OC] What's the worst thing to write in Braille?")
I tossed a yield sign into a tornado once.
Guess I was throwing caution to the wind.
(caution, horrible joke) I once asked an employee of a Pepto factory if they had a secret ingredient.
He told me it was none of my bismuth.
The person who created the sign "CAUTION HOT SURFACE"...
...in braille, was an evil genius.
Watermelon Farmer.
This is the best joke I know so I thought I would share, as far as I know it's original.
A successful watermelon farmer is having some trouble. Some kids keep stealing his crops at night while he sleeping.
To scare them away he makes a sign saying "Caution: One of these watermelons are poisoned".
The next morning, he wakes up to this sign: "Caution: Now two of these watermelons are poisoned".
You can explore caution areas reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean caution wary dad jokes. There are also caution puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
This husband wins the fight every time.
A newlywed couple are having their first big fight since being married. Things start getting heated when the husband angrily says "You know I'm right, I'm twice as smart as you!" Furious, the wife asks incredulously "What the heck, how could you say that!" The husband responds, "Well, just look at who I married compared to who you married, and tell me who is smarter!"
Use this one with caution in your own marriage :-)
So I heard some rumbling in my wardrobe...
...and so I approached the door with some nerve-wracking caution. To my surprise I saw both a lion and a witch in there, looking startled but out of breath.
I asked the witch, "What are you doing in my wardrobe?"
She replied, "Narnia business."
There was a tornado, so I tossed a 'Wet Floor' sign out the front door.
Talk about throwing caution to the wind!
Two inebriated men walk in to an upmarket restaurant and go straight to the only unoccupied table, yelling for service.
The head waiter hurries over asking Do you have reservations?
One of the men replies Sure, but when you're as hungry as we are, you throw caution to the wind.
Superglue comes with a warning: "Caution - Instantly bonds skin." But a whole shipment got out with a misprint: "Caution - Instantly bonds kin."
That's how I ended up marrying my first cousin.
So, putting a "caution wet floor" sign down before delivering my best pick up line is frowned upon....
Ok, this one is a bit tasteless. So proceed with caution.
Water.
A rabbi and a priest stand on the side of the road...
A rabbi and a priest are standing on the side of the road with a big sign next to them reading: "CAUTION: THE END IS NEAR."
A car drives by, and the driver yells, "Keep your religious babble to yourselves!" A few moments later he drives right off the end of the road into the river with a huge splash.
The rabbi turns to the priest & says, "I told you we should have just written 'CAUTION: THE BRIDGE IS BROKEN.'"
My old man got me today...
Me: alright, dad, see you in a few hours.
Dad: okay, drive safe.
Me: I'll make sure to drive really fast and without any caution.
Dad: that would be an improvement to your usual driving.
I saw a door that read, Caution: automatic door . At this point in our history, non-automatic doors should read, Caution: regular door .
Tthose are the ones I run into.
A man with the 'Rona disease
A man with the 'Rona disease
Threw caution and care to the breeze
No mask with his kin
He did them all in
With a sniffle a cough and a sneeze.
The Maitre'D asked if we had reservations...
I said, "Yes, but when you're as hungry as we are you throw caution to the wind!"
*Police Alert* Two men wanted for stealing a cement mixer.
Caution is advised. They are hardened criminals.
Joke is funny, proceed with caution!
Funny Pick-up line: Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a 'footlong'.
How do you exercise caution?
A dreadmill.
How do you reduce the risk of mesothelioma?
You take caution when using insulation asbestos you can
A little boy asks his father who invests in bitcoin for one bitcoin as his birthday gift. His father is surprised: What? You want 19300 dollars? 17000 is not a small number! What do you need 13000 bucks for? Your birthday gift…hmmm Okay, here is 9800 dollars for you, proceed with caution, Okay?
How do you take the temperature of a gorilla ?
With great caution.
Bill O'Reilly is holding a lecture about nuclear physics. When he starts taking about bosons he warns his audience:
"Caution: you're about to enter the no spin zone."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the caution cautious jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working caution raccoons piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.