Caused Jokes
111 caused jokes and hilarious caused puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about caused that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Caused Short Jokes
Short caused jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The caused humour may include short causing jokes also.
- There's a new COVID-19 strain that's causing people to gain massive amounts of weight. The om-nom-nom-icron variant.
- Hey girl, are you the Bible? 'Cause men keep misinterpreting what you say to support their own selfish agendas.
- The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused mark zuckerberg significant emotional distress. He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.
- Unrestrained children in the back seat can cause accidents. Unrestrained accidents in the back seat can cause children.
- Chocolate is bad Taxi driver: Son, don't eat chocolate cause it's not healthy!
Guy: My grandfather lived 108 years.
Taxi driver: Eating chocolate?
Guy: No, minding his own business. - My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.
- I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
- Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.
- Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble but... shouldn't that be an even number?
- How many dead people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently not 17, cause my basement is still dark.
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Caused One Liners
Which caused one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with caused? I can suggest the ones about cause and effect and occurred.
- Why is the white guy the scariest guy in prison? Cause you know he is actually guilty.
- Why did 7 eat 9? Cause he needs 3 squared meals a day
I'm sorry - Hey baby, are you a GPU? Cause I wanna make you mine.
- Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Cause they're dead.
- Coronavirus ruining your plan for 2020? Save them for 2022! Cause 2022 is 2020 too.
- Why do Jihadist Muslims only drink instant coffee? 'Cause they hate the french press
- If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd move U Cause you're blocking the TV
- What caused The Black Death? The police.
- Why do some people think Jesus was black? Cause he is our father, and he never came back.
- It turns out vaccines cause cancer. You'll actually live long enough to get it.
- Why does McGregor love springtime so much? Cause you just can't beat Mayweather.
- What's the leading cause of dry skin ...towel
Credits:dads - When the king farted, why did nobody laugh? Because noble gases don't cause reactions.
- Why do midgets make bad parents? Cause they struggle to put food on the table
- What contains the letters a,u, t, and s and is caused by vaccines? adults
Fun-Filled Caused Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about caused you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean resulted jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make caused pranks.
5 WoW related jokes
Yo mama so fat chain lightning hit her twice.
Yo mama so fat, when she logged in for first time she got the World Explorer achievement.
Yo mama so fat, she caused the Cataclysm by running to a buffet sale.
Yo mama so fat, she's immune to Death Knight's Death Grip.
Yo mama's so fat, it takes a 10 man raid of warlocks to summon her.
A woman's anger is like a Check Engine light...
There's no easy way to know what caused it, so just ignore it and hope it goes away.
Higgs Boson walks into a church
Pastor says "*oh no, no you don't! You have caused the church plenty trouble already, I must ask you to leave immediately!*"
Higgs Boson replies "*but without me, how will you have mass?*"
did you ever hear the one about the racist teaspoon?
it caused quite a stir
Two women meet in heaven...
There's these two women meeting for the first time in heaven who's names are Carol and Lydia. Carol leans over and asks Lydia what the cause of her death was. Lydia says, "Well I froze to death. How did you die?" To which Carol replies "I died of a massive heart attack." Very concerned, Lydia asks "What caused the heart attack?" Carol starts then explaining on how she thought her husband was cheating on her. And how she had come home early to catch him in the act but, to her surprise, only found her husband sitting in the den reading a book. But convinced there was another women in the house, she frantically started destroying the house looking for the other women until she was so exhausted that her heart just stopped working. Amazed at the story, Lydia looks at Carol and says, "If you would have looked in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."
Drunk driver
One in three car accidents is caused by a drunk driver. It's time to expel those sober lunetics from our roads!
What caused the civil war in Ethiopia?
Too many Negus.
Did you hear about the Shaman?
He chose to walk the world barefoot which caused he feet to blister a thousand times over.
He ate only bugs and berries that he found in nature which caused him to became very frail.
This diet also caused him to be plagued with horribly bad breath.
He was known as the Super Calloused Fragile Mystic Hexed by Halitosis.
Visiting dad on his death bed...
[Visiting father on death bed] "Dad, I'm sorry for the pain I caused you. "
*Dad struggling to talk* "Hi sorry for the pain I caused you, I'm Dad."
What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?
"Get off my nuts!"
(ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)
An iceberg caused the Titanic to sink..
Lettuce have a moment of silence.
Have you heard about the rioting in Baltimore?
So far they've caused 4 million dollars in improvements.
Shia Labeouf got rejected for a job he applied for...
During a practice run he caused negative results.
Apparently he wasn't what the s**... hotline was looking for.
3 prisoners are to be executed by a firing squad
The first one thinking of ways to escape shouted "EARTHQUAKE!" which caused everyone to panic and allowed the prisoner to escape.
The second prisoner seeing what the first one did shouted "TORNADO!" which caused everyone to panic again and also allowed him to escape
The third prisoner, knowing what the others did, frantically shouted "FIRE!"
What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?
One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.
Welcome back to /u/JokeExplainBot
I banned on a rule that we had enforced in the past. However, we talked the issue over and were able to reach common ground. Sorry for any trouble this caused.
/u/ElderCunningham
[Warning: Nerdy] Two self driving cars lost control on the freeway and crashed, killing 4.
Experts say it was caused by a race condition.
My brother threw a can of Pepsi at me from the roof...
I'm just glad it was a soft drink otherwise that may have caused some serious damage.
Mahatma Ghandi never wore shoes...
Gandhi never wore shoes, and so his feet were always covered in loads of callouses and blisters. And because he never ate food, he was always very frail. Furthermore his fasting caused him to have horrible breath. So...
I guess you could say he was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
Why was Helen Keller a bad driver?
She caused frequent blue-screens and IRQ time-out errors.
What has caused Caitlyn Jenner to put on weight?
Trans fats.
Did you hear about the truck full of blueberries that crashed on the highway?
It caused a traffic jam.
My therapist told me..
My therapist told me that I have a fear of confrontation.
I didn't agree with her but I held my tongue in case it caused an argument.
My wife was in jail, so I decided to go for the conjugal visit, which caused her parents to start freaking out...
Best game of Monopoly ever!
Be safety conscious
80% of people are caused by accidents.
TIL that the radiation of the sun has caused the American Flag on the moon to be completely white
So now it looks like France visited first
Shouldn't brothels be called "h**...-tels"?
I apologise for any loss of brain cells caused by this joke...
What caused the fisherman to go crazy?
Pier pressure.
An old man visited a doctor because of his hearing problems
The doctor examined his ears thoroughly but could not find anything out of the ordinary.
"I simply cannot find an issue," said the doctor. "It could just be caused by alcohol."
"I see," the old man replied. "I guess I'll come back when the doctor is sober."
What's red and caused horror among Game of Thrones fans?
Ed Sheeran.
I dropped a bottle of ketchup on my foot.
It caused immense pain to ma toes.
Billy Joel's house has burned down. apparently due to a faulty game console.
Investigators say the fire was caused by a faulty game console. However, Mr Joel has claimed that Wii didn't start the fire.
Did you hear about the first death caused by a self driving car?
The police never pressed charges though, because they couldn't determine it's automotive.
One Sunday, with one hand motion, God caused the Earth to begin to revolve around the Sun. "What should we call it when it goes all the way around?" asks Adam.
"A year," God replied.
Now, he made another hand motion, and the Earth began to rotate on a tilted axis.
"What should we call it when it rotates all the way around?" Adam asks.
God sighs and takes a seat on the grass below. "Let's call it a day."
There was a boy born without any eyelids
And it caused him terrible discomfort and to make matters worse, the doctors feared he would inevitably go blind one day.
Then one doctor came up with an ingenious solution. He planned to circumcise the boy and use his f**... to make new eyelids for him.
After a lengthy procedure, the surgery was a success and now the boy has two fully functioning eyelids.
The doctor says the boy is doing fine, he's just a little c**...-eyed
The gender pay gap is mostly caused by the types of professions that men and women go into
Men are more likely to be doctors, lawyers, or engineers.
Women are more likely to be female doctors, female lawyers, or female engineers.
So a tornado tore through a trailor park, and caused 1000s of dollars of...
...improvements.
What caused the wizard's business to fail?
He paid too much for his staff
I used to drink absinthe
I used to drink absinthe, but it caused me bad indigestion and terrible wind, weirdly, it sounded like a Japanese motorbike.
I went to a doctor who told me it wasn't uncommon, that everybody knows "absinthe makes the f**... go Honda".
I dropped the thanksgiving dinner and caused a geopolitical incident.
The fall of Turkey. The splattering of Greece. And the breaking up of China.
Thanos wasn't completely responsible for all the deaths caused by the Infinity Gauntlet...
But he had a hand in it.
What caused the Great depression?
A lack of comedians
A teacher asked her class "What is s**...?"
Johny got up and said:
"s**... is a *temptation*
Caused by a *sensation*
Where a boy sticks his *location*
Into a girls *destination*
To increase *population*
For the next *generation*
Did you get my *explanation*
Or so you need a *demonstration?*"
The teacher fainted then.
99 dead in Tesla autopilot car c**...
This has caused Tesla to drop all ideas of a battle Royale mode for Tesla cars
Did anyone know what happened to that passion fruit truck c**... yesterday?
It caused traffic jam.
A fat guy meets a skinny guy...
The fat one says: "You look like there's been a famine."
The skinny one replies: "You look like you caused it".
The bottle of ketchup slipped from my hands yesterday.
This event caused a huge pain to ma toes.
I was packing my luggage with German sausage, when my wife told me, "Don't overfill it. Last time it exploded in the airport and you caused a scene".
"Dont be silly", I said, "you're always thinking of the wurst case scenario".
Mahatma Ghandi walked thousands of miles with bare feet...
This caused him to develop an impressive set of callouses.
He also are very little, which made him rather frail, and due to this strange diet, suffered from bad breath.
All told, he was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Hate speak, obscene photos, and narcissistic viewpoints caused me to get completely off of social media. [OC]
I found myself wasting too much time posting that stuff!
Why didn't the Romans reuse their crosses?
Because that would have caused cross contamination.
If you think that vaccines caused your kidsautism and decreased IQ...
...then its not hard to see where they get it from.
A German was packing his luggage for holiday when his wife interrupts him...
"I hope you're not going to bring sausages again", she said, "They exploded everywhere last time and caused a frightful scene!"
"It'll be fine", He said, "Stop worrying about the wurst case scenario".
My Engineering teacher asked me to find the torque caused by two equal and opposite parallel forces
So I said Okay, give me a couple moments.
The official list of emojis for 2019 has been updated to include a drop of blood, which is meant to symbolize m**.... Although, if tech companies really wanted to accurately portray the suffering caused by periods...
...they should use an emoji of a husband quietly m**... in the bathroom.
Why didn't the trains at the station leave after the passengers boarded?
If they wanted to leave, they would have gone to the leavetion.
I apologize, it's a terrible joke. But I made it up on the spot and it caused my daughter to snort the bean sprout she was eating into her nose.
Top 5 anti-vax excuses, interpreted for gamers
Excuse #5: "I like to play life with the default biological settings".
Excuse #4: "I like to take my chances and play it on extreme difficulty, just like old school style."
Excuse #3: "Pay to win? Eww."
Excuse #2: "I'll rather die than pay for DLC."
Excuse #1: "I swear the update caused that c**...."
What caused the ice cream truck to break down?
a rocky road
Four idiots were in the finals stages of becoming full members of the local skin-head biker gang. Their last assignment was to terrorize some Jews at a bar mitzvah later that afternoon.
They failed their final assignment because the rabbi saw them when they first arrived. He had the four skins immediately removed before they caused any trouble.
I Started Watching A New Series During Lockdown
It's a series about how a respiratory illness spread throughout the world in 2019 and 2020, and damaged many economies, as well as caused many people to lose their lives...the illness is even said to have originated in China. Despite similarities, the writers say it's not based on the novel, *Coronavirus.*
Elon Musk caused a major scandal today by going on a bizarre rant about Coronavirus.
I hope Elon-gate is not too drawn out.
What do Coronavirus panic in England and divorce in the United States have in common?
They're both commonly caused by BBC.
Has COVID-19 caused you to wear a mask and glasses at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
The bus c**... that landed me in hospital was caused by a guy standing up to offer a lady his seat.
He'll never work as a bus driver again.
It was a typo that caused Clinton's problems...
Monica was actually told to go down and sack his cook.
Due to the recent cutbacks caused by the coronavirus Bruce was told he had to terminate one of his compliance managers.
Alice and Jack we're both exemplary employees and he honestly had no idea which one he would get rid of, but being an honest man he decided he'd speak to them both ahead of time thinking that it might help him make his decision. He called in Alice first and he said listen, I've either got to lay you or j**.... Without batting an eye she responded "you better j**..., I have a terrible headache."
I feel bad for current college students...
Back when I was in school, our national health emergency was caused by drinking Four Lokos.
Tetanus isn't actually caused by rusty objects, but by bacteria in dirt, which we often associate with rusty nails and tools that can introduce the bacteria through wounds.
This is why tetanus vaccines are so important. For anti-vaxxers, that truth could be hard to s**....
Any appreciation for lockjaw puns?
Three men were on a boat. All together, they had four cigarettes; However, no one brought any matches.
They threw one cigarette overboard, which caused the whole boat to become a cigarette lighter.
I hear they are calling the riots yesterday 'The Capitol Blizzard'
Makes Sense....
They caused lots of destruction,
Was full of snowflakes,
And a whole lot of White.
What do you call a headache caused my someone stealing your wheat
My-grain
A drunk stumbled to a church to ask a priest a question. He drunkenly asked "Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest, annoyed by the drunk, angrily replies:
"Arthritis? That's caused by drinking! Drinking too much!" The priest declared.
"Oh really father?" The drunk slurred.
However, the father wanted to really teach this man a lesson, and he said:
"Having un-wed s**... also causes arthritis! And smoking! And gambling! All of it!" The priest shouted.
"Oh really father?" The drunk mumbled. "Because I read in the news that people in the clergy suffer from arthritis."
Nobody enjoyed the in-flight movie.
It caused 17 walkouts.
Shortage of Heinz ketchup packets...
... now secretly caused by usage for hemorrhoids. The company will now market "A" Heinz for restaurants and "B" Heinz for hemorrhoids.
After dying h**... arrives at the gates of heaven
God asks him his name and on hearing "h**..." instantly remarks that he should be sent to h**.... h**... pleads to God to atleast consider some merit for him in heaven. To this God rumbles " You persecuted millions of Jews, led a second world war to happen and caused the German people to suffer a lot. On what possible merit would we consider admitting you into heaven ?"
h**... calmly replies "My Lord, I am also responsible for killing that man"
Today my wife gave birth to our son and unfortunately he was born with a very rare skin condition.
My wife told me it is called a pre-natal sun burn . Apparently it can be caused by too much time in tanning beds or long exposure to the sun on the beach.
Essentially all it does is dye the pigments of the child's skin dark brown but he shouldn't feel any pain.
She told me that there's no cure for it at this time and that he will likely suffer from it for the rest of his life.
Please keep my son Tyrone in your prayers.
What caused the skunk to unload his scent?
Instinct
("in stink" original joke from my seven year old).
I dropped a huge bottle of ketchup on my foot yesterday....
It caused severe pain To-ma-toes.
I'm the woman who caused the Tour de France c**...! AMA!
Oops, gotta run!
