Caught Speeding Jokes
29 caught speeding jokes and hilarious caught speeding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about caught speeding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Caught Speeding Short Jokes
Short caught speeding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The caught speeding humour may include short speeding ticket jokes also.
- I was was caught speeding yesterday The police officer walked up to my window
Officer: I've been waiting for you all day
Me: I know, i came as fast as I could - Where do you go when you're white and caught speeding, then get separated into different colours only to come out bent and totally different to how you came in? Prism
- An authoritarian was caught speeding the other day. When asked why he was going so fast he said he, "put his foot down."
- A blonde is caught speeding by a blonde cop. The cop says "Can I see your drivers liscence?" and the blonde replies
"What's that?"
"It's a...umm...you can go." - I got caught in police speed trap yesterday. The officer walked up to my car and said "I've been waiting all day for you " Well I said. I got here as fast as I could.
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Caught Speeding One Liners
Which caught speeding one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with caught speeding? I can suggest the ones about speeding cop and speeding fine.
- The Flash was caught high... He seemed to have taken speed.
- I heard about a guy caught speeding in California He was going 88 mph in a Delorean
- If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
- News flash: Chapters truck caught speeding Police reported, "It was really booking it!"
- How did the high speed car chase end? Caught eem! Hahaaa caught eem.
- Why was the l**... caught speeding? Because he couldn't take his foot off the accelerator.
- Einstein was caught doing 65 in a 30 He was arrested for i**....
"Speed is relative"
Caught Speeding Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about caught speeding you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean driving fast jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make caught speeding pranks.
Blonde gets caught speeding.
The cop is also a blonde.
Cop: Let me see your driver's license.
Driver: What's that?
Cop: A square thing with your picture on it.
Blonde fumbles through her purse, finds a mirror, sees herself in it, and hands it to the cop.
Cop looks at it, hands it back and says,
I'm gonna let you go without a ticket. I didn't know you were a cop.
(
A guy finally buys his dream car
... And on his first day of owning it, he gets caught speeding down the highway.
Pulling over, the officer walks up to the window and says "Son, I've been a cop for over 30 years, I've heard every excuse there is. If you come up with a new one I'll let you off with a warning."
The driver says "Well, to be honest sir, my wife recently left me for a state trooper, and when I saw your car, I was scared you were bringing her back."
So a man was driving on the highway with a speed limit of 90
.. but then he noticed that all the other drivers were way above the speed limit so our guy thought "hey everybody's speeding, i cant get caught" so he goes above 110. Ten minutes later, a cop pulls him over.
Clearly upset, our guy says "But officer, i wasn't the only one speeding.. there were a bunch of others too.. why did you catch only me?"
Cop says" Ever gone fishing?"
Guy says yes,
Cop- "ever caught all the fish??"
A speeding driver was pulled over by a policeman.........
The driver asked, "Why was I pulled over when I wasn't the only one speeding."
The police replied, "Have you ever been fishing?"
The man then said, "yes".
"Have you ever caught all the fish?" asked the policeman.
A motorist gets caught in an automated speed trap that photographs his car.
He later receives a ticket in the mail for $40 with a photo of his car.
Instead of payment, he sends the police department a photograph of $40.
A few days later, he gets a letter from the police department with a picture of handcuffs.
A man driving down a county road one day
Sees a 3 legged chicken running next to him.
He thinks to himself "I'm doing 25 mph and this chicken is keeping up!, crazy!!"
He speeds up to 50 mph and still the chicken is keeping up with him.
Up to 60 mph! The chicken is keeping up!
The chicken breaks into a sprint, gets way
ahead of him but he sees him take a hard left turn into a long drive way.
Dude turns into the country drive and an old woman is standing outside...
"I just saw a 3 legged chicken running 60mph!, he turned and came in here."
"Oh yeah, that's one of ours?!...we breed em that way, we love chicken legs"
"How do they taste?"
"I don't know, we ain't never caught one!"
A man is stopped for speeding on the highway
The driver, when confronted by the cop to be issued a ticket, suddenly confesses that he has h**... with him in the vehicle.
Shocked, the cop calls for backup, explaining that the man who he caught speeding admitted that he had drugs on him.
A narcotics team arrives and searches the vehicle to find nothing of interest. Confronting the driver, they ask for an explanation.
"The cop said I had h**... in my car?! Of course not!" exclaims the driver.
"I bet he told you I was speeding too"
s**... in Public!!!
A young dating couple were driving down the road in a very busy area, when things started to get somewhat passionate. They decided to pull over and park and have some fun.
Things were really getting hot, and they were not paying any attention to what was going on outside. All of a sudden a policeman was tapping on their window. The cop could hardly contain himself.
"Didn't you know that you are not supposed to be having s**... in public?" he asked the couple.
Being embarrassed by being caught, they said yes and apologized.
"Well, he said, I will have to write you a ticket."
So the cop wrote the ticket and reminded them next time to watch their behavior. After getting dressed, the girl asked her boyfriend what the policeman wrote the ticket for.
He responded, "Doing 69 in a 40 Kph speed zone!"
His Limo Driver
The pope is visiting the US, at the airport a huge black limo is waiting and the driver opens the door for him. The pope can't take an eye from the car and asks if - for this special occasion and only for a few miles - he could be the driver. Surprised by this unusual request the driver, after some discussion about driving carefully, finally agrees. So the pope enjoys driving down the highway and soon he forgets about speed limits and he is driving as fast as he can. A nearby police car notices the speeding limo and finally the pope gets pulled over. The officer, after taking a quick look at the driver, rushes to call his boss. "Sir, I have a difficult situation here, I have a speeding limo but I think we might have caught someone high up and don't know what to do." "So, who is it? The governor?" "No Sir, higher up" "Someone from the white house?" "I think much higher, Sir!" "Who can possibly be higher up than the president?" "I don't know Sir, but, you see, the pope is his driver!"
A man was speeding down the motorway...
When a policeman saw him and began chasing him in hot pursuit.
When the man saw the blue lights in his mirror he began to speed up, getting further and further away and faster he went.
The policeman finally caught up when they hit traffic and pulled the man from his car.
Officer: Why did you speed up when you saw me behind you?
Man: You see, I was married for a long time before my wife ran off with a policeman just like you!
Officer: Sorry to hear that but just because one of us is bad, doesn't mean we all are. Speeding is still an offence!
Man: Oh, it's nothing personal, I just thought you were trying to give her back!