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Caught Red Handed Jokes

83 caught red handed jokes and hilarious caught red handed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about caught red handed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Caught Red Handed Short Jokes

Short caught red handed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The caught red handed humour may include short handed jokes also.

  1. "dad, why do people say they have green fingers when their fingers are not green"? "well son, its a saying. just like when you say someone was caught red handed, when their hand is actually black"
  2. What do you call a member of the blue man group when he's caught red-handed betraying his fellow blue men? The purple traitor of a crime.
  3. My girlfriend cheated on me while on her period. The guy just fingered her, I caught him red-handed.
  4. Did you hear about that guy going around stealing everybody's Flamin' Hot cheetos? He was caught red-handed!
    ...I'll see myself to the door.
  5. TIFU by sleeping with the bosses daughter He caught us red-handed, the following day
    I was let go for performance reasons.
  6. What did the policeman shout when he caught seafood thieves red-handed? NOBODY MOVE A MUSCLE.
  7. Why did the rich transplant surgeon go to jail? He got caught red-handed, inside her trading.
  8. I fingered my girlfriend while she was having her period, then her dad walked in... You could say I was caught red-handed.
  9. Did you hear about the guy who broke into a paint factory? Yeah, i heard they caught him red handed.
  10. Some say he was manually stimulating his girlfriend while she was on her period Others say he was caught red-handed

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Caught Red Handed One Liners

Which caught red handed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with caught red handed? I can suggest the ones about catch these hands and caught cheating.

  1. My wife was cheating on me with the painter. I caught him red-handed.
  2. I decided to rob a blood bank They caught me red-handed.
  3. How I knew my GF was playing with herself on her period... I caught her red-handed.
  4. Someone stole my palette... It's all good, now. I caught him red handed.
  5. I always say Lobsters are sketchy.... They are always getting caught Red-Handed. 🦞
  6. Why was the communist arrested? He was caught red handed.
  7. I tried to finger my girlfriend while she was sleeping but she caught me red handed
  8. Boy who fool with girl in wrong period get caught red handed. *~Confucius*
  9. I fingered my girlfriend during her period Her parents caught me red handed.
  10. A cold blooded killer got caught red handed They let him go because it was just paint.
  11. Don't finger your girlfriend on her period. You'll be caught red handed.
  12. I finally found out who is stealing my hot-Cheetos Caught him red-handed
  13. Little Jimmy was eating ketchup I caught him red handed
  14. My teacher caught me cheating red handed She broke up with me and left
  15. I got caught stealing paint. I thought I hid it pretty well, but I was caught red handed.

Caught Red Handed Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about caught red handed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean busted jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make caught red handed pranks.

This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.
He immediately phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and George said, "No," and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."
Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

A man was going to bed one night when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the shed.


She could see the light was on from the bedroom window.
As the man looked for himself he saw that there were people in the shed taking things.
The man phoned the police, but they told him that no one was in the area to help him at that time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available.
He said "OK," hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back.
"Hello" he said, "I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed.
Well, you don't have to worry about them now 'cause I've shot them."
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works.
Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you shot Them!" The man replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

I caught my neighborhood stealing my red food dye.

.. When he was caught red handed he said "I'm gonna dye".

I had s**... with a g**... her period once

Her dad walked in and caught me red-handed.

What happened to the child m**... who kidnapped little girls?

He was caught red-handed.

The prostate examiner has been too aggressive with his patients recently....

The prostate examiner has been too aggressive with his patients recently...
Hes was caught red handed.

Caught red handed

I walked in on my wife m**... while on her period again.

Green Thumbs

A father and son are walking through a park when the kid asks his dad "dad, why do they say gardeners have green thumbs? they're not green!" The father replies "oh, it's just a saying son... like when some one is caught stealing, we say they have been caught red handed, even though their hands are actually black."
*BUDUMM PAA*
Taken from some random (and clearly Racist) Newspapaer

What did the Japanese man say when his wife found him in bed with another woman

"Geisha caught me red-handed!"

A boy asks his father why gardeners are called "green thumbs" when their thumbs aren't green.

His father replies, "It's an expression, son. It's like how a thief gets caught red handed. His hands aren't red either, they're black.

What did the emo say to his father after he found him cutting himself?

You caught me red handed

Why did the r**... with a period blood f**... go to jail?

He was caught red-handed.

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

Sayings are weird

People always say, "I caught you red handed" when really the hand is black.

caught 'red handed'

A kid asks his father "why do they say gardeners have green thumbs when they aren't green?" his father replies "it's kind of how people who are caught steeling they are 'caught red handed' even though they are black"

Did you hear about the girl who was found m**... while on her period?

She was caught red handed

My wife walked in on me f**... my menstruating girlfriend...

... I was caught red-handed.

A boy asks his father, "Why do they say gardeners have green thumbs when their thumbs aren't really green?"

The father replies, "It's just an expression, son. Just like how they say a person is caught stealing red-handed, even though his hands are actually black."

What did the g**... her period say when she got caught?

"You caught me red handed!"

What is it called when Venom snake gets spotted doing something bad?

Getting caught red handed!

Female m**...

My woman told me that she would never play with her self when she was on her period. .
But I caught her red handed !!

A boy asks his dad a question

A boy asks his dad "Why do they say gardeners have green thumbs,when their thumbs are not green?"
The dad replies,"It's just a saying son,It's like when somebody is caught stealing,they say they have been caught 'red handed',even though their hands is black."

A boy asks his father a question........

"Hey dad, why do they call gardeners 'people who have green thumbs'?"
"Oh son that's just a saying, they don't actually have green thumbs, it's like when someone gets caught stealing and they call them people who got caught 'red handed' their hands aren't actually red, they're black"

Did you hear about the artist who tried to kill himself this weekend?

He was caught red handed.

I caught my girlfriend m**... during her period

I caught her red-handed

Caught red handed

Little Johnny asks, "Dad, why do they say people who are good at gardening have a green thumb?".
Dad thought for a moment, "Johnny, it's just a saying. It's like when someone is caught stealing, it's said they're caught red handed, even though their hands are black".

A dad walked in on her daughter f**... herself while she was on her period

You could say she was caught red handed

There was a thief

He was stealing primary color paint from hardware stores.
He was caught red-handed

Today my mom saw me f**... myself on my period...

I guess you could say she caught me red-handed.

A young boy asks his dad

A young boy asks his dad: "Why do people say gardeners have green thumbs when their fingers aren't actually green?"
The dad replies: "It's just a saying, son. It's like when somebody is caught stealing something, they say that they have been caught 'red handed,' even though their hands are actually black."

A boy caught his dad red handed having an affair with the maid.

The dad told the son, take this $10 and don't tell your mum please!"
The son answered, but dad this is not fair!! Mum gave me $50 when I caught her with the security Man.

A concerned wife goes to her husband...

"Honey, I know we said we would wait to give our little girl the birds and the bees talk, but I think it's about time."
He inquiries as to why she thinks this. Their daughter, while almost a teen, is still rather young.
"Well, I caught her m**...."
"~~Prosperous~~ Preposterous!! She's barely old enough to start her period let alone do that"
"That's the other thing, honey, I caught her red handed..."

A little boy asks his father why they say gardeners have green thumbs...

The father replies "That's just a figure of speech. You know, like when someone is stealing and they are caught red handed, but their hands are really black."

I used to have a secret f**... for used tampons, but it's not so secret anymore.

I was caught red handed.

A boy says to his dad, "Why do they say gardeners have got green fingers when their fingers aren't green?"

His dad replies, "It's just a saying, son. It's like when someone is caught stealing something, they say that they've been caught red-handed', even though their hands are actually black."

I forgot a can of paint in the getaway car the other night

the police caught me red\-handed

Why did the thief always paint his hands blue before doing a heist?

To make sure he was not caught red-handed

I was f**... a girl during her period...

And I was caught red handed

I wasn't sure if my friend was f**... my girlfriend while she was on her period...

...but then I caught him red-handed.

Did you hear about the guy who arrested for ruining $10,000 worth of paint?

He was caught red-handed.

Shaggy caught me red handed. I said it wasn't me.

Me and s**...were both but n**... b**... on the bathroom door

My family found out me and my girl had period s**... last night

They caught me red handed

I was f**... my girlfriend while she was on her period...

Suddenly, my roommate walked in on us. I was caught red-handed..