The Best 14 Cattle Rancher Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cattle Rancher jokes. There are some cattle rancher livestock jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cattle rancher grazing puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cattle Rancher Jokes and Puns

What do you do for a living? I herd cattle.

Ah, you're a rancher?

No, I'm a Zumba instructor.

Ranchers in Colorado are conducting a crucial experiment on the environmental sustainability of using hemp as a feed source for cattle.

The steaks have never been higher.

Why did the cattle rancher give up his small cannabis farm?

The steaks were getting too high.

Vermont farmer

A texas cattle rancher came to visit a Vermont dairy farm. He gets a tour of the 10 acre farm, and says to the Vermont farmer "This farm aint nothin, my ranch back in texas is so big, it would take us 3 days just to drive my truck around the whole property". The Vermont farmer responds "yup I had a truck like that once"

How does a rancher know which cow to buy?

He looks in the cattle-log!


What car is a rancher most likely to own?

A cattle-ac

Why wouldn't the cattle rancher take the bet that he could raise his cows on marijuana instead of actual grass?

The steaks were too high.

In a last ditch effort to curb over grazing, some ranchers have decided to drive their cattle up into the mountains.

Analysts say the steaks have never been higher.

How does a rancher keep track of his cattle?

With a cow-culator.

A Texan was talking to a rancher from Canada...

about the overseas market. The Texan was bragging about his huge herds and the vast amounts of money he was making shipping thousands of heads of cattle overseas every year to the Chinese market.

The Canadian, not wanting to be outdone, shot back, "Yeah? Well I ship that much cattle every month!"

The Texan looked at him for a moment, then smiled as he said, "Well, you got me there then. You clearly are the biggest bull shipper I ever met!"

What does a procrastinating cattle rancher use to add numbers?

A cow kill later.

You can explore cattle rancher cows reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cattle rancher bovine dad jokes. There are also cattle rancher puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Did you hear about the rancher who put 196 cattle out to pasture?

When he rounded them up, he had 200.

How do you get ranchers to quickly react to offerings at a livestock auction?

A cattle-list

A rancher was supposed when his cattle grew up to have really short legs, but he wasn't worried.

The steaks were low.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cattle rancher pasture jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cattle rancher wagyu piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes