Following is our collection of funny Catholic Nun jokes. There are some catholic nun protestant jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these catholic nun excommunicated puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
A roamin' Catholic
Roman Catholic.
Within a few months, he is passing with flying colours. His parents ask him the reason behind his sudden improvement. "Was it the strict nuns, the rigour of class, the example of other students? Jared shook his head. "Well what was it then"? Jared replied "Truth is, when I first arrived and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business".
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples
At the head of the table was a large tray of hot dogs. The nun posted a sign on the hot dog tray, "Take only one. God is watching."
Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the hot dogs."
A nun teaching catholic school asks the children what they want to be when they grow up.
Mary says, "I want to be a prostitute!"
Shocked, the nun says, "What did you just say?"
Mary says, "I said I want to be a prostitute!"
The nun replied, "Oh thank heavens. I thought you said you wanted to be a protestant."
The nun teaching the class asks, "Where do you sense Jesus in your life?"
Little Susie, being a good girl says, "I see Jesus when I pray."
Little Timmy says, "I can feel Jesus' presence during Mass."
Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. Johnny says, "Jesus is in my bathroom every morning."
The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this.
Little Johnny answers saying, "Each morning that my Father is late to work, he pounds on the bathroom door saying, 'JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?"
Because their clothes are mass produced...
So a man walks into confession and says "Forgive me father, for I have sinned". The priest says "What have you done, my son?"
"I'm 72 and just had sex with two 25 year olds" he claimed.
"Are you kidding?!" the priest said. "You can't do that. 100 Hail Mary's and run around the church 1000 times. By the way is this your first confession?"
"Yes I've never been to confession before. I'm Jewish."
"If you are Jewish why are you telling me this?" begged the priest.
"I'm telling everybody"
Coincidently, that's how the Catholic Church ranks it's priorities.
A roamin catholic
You can explore catholic nun episcopal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean catholic nun anglican dad jokes. There are also catholic nun puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Nun-chucks.
A Roman Catholic
A Roman Catholic
The cab driver sees her in the backseat and says "I have always had a fantasy about nuns."
She answers "you and everyone else! Are you a Catholic?"
Driver says yes, so she tells him to pull over.
She hops in the front seat and gives him the best blow job he ever had. She gets done and the cabbie feels guilty and says "You know sister, I have to confess. I am not really Catholic."
"That's fine. My name is Ralph and I am going to a costume party."
Does that make her nun of my business?
I guess she's just in the habit.
Two nuns at a Catholic Church near me got pregnant.
On an unrelated note, they dressed up as altar boys for Halloween.
Catholic
A roamin' Catholic
.
.
Oh look there's the door...bye
A Roamin' Catholic
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
Nun.
But really, its easier to rape little boys in the dark.
The nun places a note in front of a pile of apples: Take just one. God is watching . Beyond there is a stack of biscuits. A student writes a note and puts it in plain sight in front of the cookies: Take whatever you want. God is watching the apples".
Nun.
Dress her up like an altar boy
*A roamin' Catholic.*
Which is coincidentally the same way the Catholic Church ranks their priorities.
Nun Chucks
God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' catholic
"Well," he says, "if I'm not having nun, I'm having very little."
a) A Roamin' Catholic
b) An unconscious habit
Nun Chucks
A roman catholic.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the catholic nun orthodox jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working catholic nun lutheran piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.