Catholic Monk Jokes
9 catholic monk jokes and hilarious catholic monk puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about catholic monk that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Catholic Monk Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good catholic monk joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?
Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.
The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by the chip monks.
I, too, went to a mixed religion seminar...
...But in the hopes of learning more about charity. First I asked a Buddhist monk: "How do you decide what to give away and what to keep for yourself?" "Child's play", he said. "I draw a small circle in the ground, throw my money into the air, and what falls outside of the circle I give to Buddha". Next I asked a catholic priest. "Easy my son", he told me. "All I do is draw a small circle in earth, throw my money to the heavens, and what falls into the circle I give to God". Finally, I asked a Rabbi. "Simple!" he answered. "I throw my money into the air and what god wants, he takes!"
Flower Salesman Arrested
Local Chinese man Chen Yu stopped a Catholic monk from selling flowers tonight in Downton Dallas. The monk was detained for not having a vending license. The monk will be fined $300 and Yu has been awarded for his efforts. At the end of the day, only Yu can prevent Florist Friars.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pair of cannibals were discussing their recent meals
One said "I found some Catholic monks when I was in the woods; took home the meat and boiled it up. Tasted TERRIBLE!"
The other said "Idiot. You don't boil monks- those are friars!"
Did you know that Vegas has more Catholic Churches than casinos?
Not surprisingly, some Sunday worshipers give casino chips when the collection basket is passed. Since they get chips for many different casinos the churches have devised a system to handle the collections. The churches send all of their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then taken to the individual casinos to redeem for cash.
This is done by the chip monks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An angry teenager from a Catholic home began dressing as a monk to mock his parents' faith.
When asked by a friend how her son had been, the boy's mother replied, "Well, he's been-a-d**...-teen lately."
What do you call a truly dedicated Catholic monk?
A deep fryer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two villages in Thailand cannot find a way to settle their differences.
They arrange to meet on the battle field the following day to finish it once and for all.
The next morning, hundreds of villagers from each settlement line up facing each other, ready for war.
They both send a single monk, fully dressed in hooded robes to the middle of the field. They begin to fight, one on one, **to the death**.
Confused, a young villager asks his father why the villages are not facing off in their entirety.
"Ah, my son, when the Catholics come here long ago, they teach us one thing", his father begins, "to win battle, you must fight friar with friar".
A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Monk
A Catholic Priest, a Rabbi, and a Buddhist Monk go golfing. After a few holes they decide to get down to business. They're trying to figure out how much of their money they should donate to the church. How much should they tell their members to give?
After much debate the Catholic Priest says, "let's draw a circle around the cup and throw all of our money in the air. Whatever lands inside the circle, we'll give that percentage to God. It is his will.
The Buddhist monk says, "I like that idea but why don't we donate everything that lands outside the box instead?"
The Rabbi looks at both of them and says, "Why don't we throw the money in the air and let God keep what he wants?"
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