The Best 63 Catholic Boys Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Catholic Boys jokes. There are some catholic boys presbyterian jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these catholic boys boy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Catholic Boys Jokes and Puns

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one.

God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

One to screw the light bulb and the other to screw the altar boy in the corner!

A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families.

"I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team,"

"That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team."

"That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."

Catholic Boys joke

How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


But really, its easier to rape little boys in the dark.

Why don't catholic priest believe in condoms?

Because little boys can't get pregnant.

Poor Boy

A young boy is standing at the edge of a cliff, crying his eyes out.

A Catholic priest happens to walks past and, seeing the boy, asks, "Whats wrong, my child?"

"My mother and father were in the car and it rolled off the cliff. It exploded and they died, and I have no way of getting home!"

The priest looks around and, as he's unbuttoning his pants, says "This really isn't your day is it, my son?"

Little Jewish boy that can't understand math

Two Jewish parents are very concerned that their little boy is failing at mathematics. They exhaust every method of tutoring and schooling, until they reach their last resort.... Catholic School.

The very next day little Elisha comes home from school, runs to his room, and began studying. To the parents astonishment when his reportcard arrives he has an A in math!!

They asked Elisha what the difference was and he replied," When I saw what they did to the poor guy on the plus sign I knew they were serious!!"

Catholic Boys joke, Little Jewish boy that can't understand math

When do Catholics allow the use of condoms?

When the choir boys have diarrhea.

What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne?

Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he hits puberty.

A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are watching a little boy play...

The Priest says, "I want to screw him." The Rabbi says, "Out of what?"

A Rabbi and a Catholic priest are driving down the road...

when they happen to see this young boy walking down the sidewalk. The priest leans over to the Rabbi and says. "Hey Rabbi...whaddaya say we screw this little boy?" The Rabbi looks back at him, slightly confused, and asks "Out of what?"

You can explore catholic boys father reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean catholic boys baptist dad jokes. There are also catholic boys puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What's the difference between Catholic priests and pimples?

Pimples don't come on a boy's face until he's thirteen.

They are serious!

A boy is getting all Ds and Fs in math so his parents send him to Catholic school. On his first report card, his parents are shocked to see their son getting straight As. When his parents ask him why, he says, Well, when I went into the chapel and saw that guy nailed to a plus sign, I knew they were serious.

A Jewish Atheist enrolls his son in Catholic school

A Jewish atheist hears that the best school in town happens to be Catholic, so he enrolls his son. Things are going well until one day the boy comes home and says, I just learned all about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

The boy's father is barely able to control his rage. He grabs his son by the shoulders and says, Son, this is very important, so listen carefully. There is only ONE God β€” and we don't believe in Him!

How do you get a Catholic Nun to have sex?

Dress her up like an altar boy

A Catholic boy in confession says

"Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking

about my sister."

"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you

have two gorgeous brothers."

Catholic Boys joke, A Catholic boy in confession says

What is the difference between a pimple and a Catholic Priest?

A pimple doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13.

This joke is all in good fun, sorry if anyone happens to be offended!

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a zit?

Nothing, they both come on a boy's face when he turns 13.

What separates the men from the boys in the Catholic Church?

A condom.

Did you hear about the crowd of Catholic priests at baby Gap?

The sign in the window advertised "Little Boys Pants Half Off!"

What do miss Frizzle and the catholic church have in common?

They've both been in little boys.

A rabbi and a Catholic priest are walking down the street...

...when the priest sees a boy across the way.

The priest turns to the rabbi and says, "Let's go over there and screw that boy!"

The rabbi looks the boy over and says to the priest, "out of what?"

A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.

His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded

"When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"

A Jewish guy, a Catholic guy and a Mormon are having dinner together...

...and they are bragging about their families.

"My wife and I have 4 strapping young boys" says the Jewish man. "If we have one more, we would have our own basketball team."

"Well, good for you" says the Catholic. "But we have 10 healthy sons. If we would have one more we would have our own football team."

"That's nothing" says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. If I have one more I would have my own golf course."

[NSFW] Why do adults call catholic pastors father?

Because they already get called "daddy" by little boys.

I'm. So. Sorry...

A catholic priest was found guilty of raping a little girl. The judge asked him if he had any last words

The priest replied, "Sorry, I thought it was a boy."

A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar following an interfaith meeting...

The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."

The Catholic, pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That's nothing, boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I'll have a football team."

To which the Mormon replied, "You fellas ain't got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."

When I was a young boy, I was bad at Maths

I was so bad that I was expelled from my school for failing that subject so often. Because of this, my father sent me to Catholic school and after going for a year, my grades improved. The reason being, the second I walked through that door and saw the guy nailed to the fricking plus sign, I knew this school meant business.

An angry teenager from a Catholic home began dressing as a monk to mock his parents' faith.

When asked by a friend how her son had been, the boy's mother replied, "Well, he's been-a-dick-teen lately."

A Catholic priest came in the bathroom last night. NSFW

He said he couldn't help it he was thinking about being in the little boys room.

How do you get 2 Jews to fight?

Throw a penny between them.

How do you get 2 Catholic priests to fight?

Do the same thing but this time with a small boy.

What do you call a group of Catholic priests standing in the snow?

Cracking open a boy with the cold ones

Man walks into a Catholic church at night

To his surprise, two priests walk up to excitedly greet him.

"Hello!" Says the other. "I am Paul Unch, and this is Liam Ine, we're the priests here. If you'll walk this way-"

"Hold up", says the man. "P. Unch and L. Ine? I'm in a stupid joke, right?"

"O-ho!" exclaims Ine. "You got us!"

"Alright, screw this. I'm leaving." And he walks out in a huff.

"Well, that got rid of him", said Ine. "Paul, get the altar boys back in."

Anthropology 101

The Catholic priest says to the cannibal: 'You can't eat that.'

Cannibal: 'You know a better way to get a 12-year-old boy inside you?'

'The head of the Catholic Church is far superior to the head of the Church of England'

... said Sean, the promiscuous, and disloyal Altar Boy.

As the old Catholic saying goes,

Condoms: they're what separate the men from the boys

What do you call an altar boy who has left the church?

Prolapsed Catholic

How do Catholic priests remember choir boys?


What's the difference between Acne and a Catholic Priest ?

Acne only comes on a boys face when he's twelve.

The catholic church needs to implement some kind of Rite of Passage...

It's time to separate the men from the boys.

An 8 year old boy was horrendous at math.

His parents were worried about his math skills and decided to enroll him in a Catholic school. After the boy's first report card came out, he had straight A's in his math class. His father asked the boy, "How did the Catholic school make you better at math?" The boy responded with, "I never took math seriously but when walked in to my new school and saw the man nailed to the plus sign, I knew this place meant business!"

What do Catholic Priests and Target have in common?

They often have little boy's pants half off.

So two Catholic priests are hanging outside Toys R Us and an eight year old boy walks by

The first priest smirks and whispers to the second priest, I bet he looked good in his prime.

What did the old Catholic priest say when he arrived at a 6 year old boys birthday party?

Happy birthday.

How is a department store like a catholic priest?

They both have boys' pants half off.

What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?

Acne waits untill a boy's 12 before it comes on his face.

What did the Catholic priest say when he was caught with underage boys?

Sorry, I wasn't thinking straight.

I walked past a young boy acting up in front of his mom in a grocery store. She asked me "would you like to take him home with you?"

I responded "No thanks, I'm not Catholic."

What's the Catholic Church's favourite soccer team?

BSC Young Boys

The Catholic church wants more people interested in priesthood.

They have got a lot of bad publicity lately so they just released a new campaign. They are offering scholarships for 100 lucky boys that can attend private school to become a priest for free.

Their slogan: "Find the priest inside of you."

What do a Catholic Priest and a school-gunman have in common?

They both like shooting into little boys.

What do wine and altar boys have in common?

Catholic priests like them aged eight years

A guy goes in to a catholic church to confess his sins but Father is still sleeping up stairs half drunk so one of the altar boys tries taking the confession instead

but soon this altar boy is put in a situation where he does not know what to do.

"Euh, excuses me for one sec. I will be right back to let you know what the proper penance is for that sin"

"Psssht, hey danny. Danny!"


"What does Father give for masturbation?"

"Two snickers and a marsbar"

A young catholic boy goes in for his first confession

A young catholic boy goes in for his first confession.

As the boy goes into the booth he asks the priest, "What are you doing father?"

The priest answers, Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it."

The boy asks, "Why do you say that father?"

Priest: "Because my hand is getting tired.

Why did the catholic priest get the alter boys to sit in the snow?

So he could have a couple cold ones to slurp back after a hard days work.

How do you get two catholic priests to fight to the death?

You throw a little boy in between them.

What does Walmart and catholic priest have in common.

They both have boys pants half off.

How does Catholic priests and bishops find enlightenment?

Through little boys.

So a group of boys were in a sex Ed class

And by sex ed class I mean a catholic confession box with a priest.

What's the easiest place to get a job as a young boy?

The Catholic Church!

It must suck being a catholic chaplain in the Army

All the boys are over 18

How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I said lightbulb, not choir boy!

A young boy is doing poorly in math at public school. His mother decides to send him to private school to rectify the situation. Lo and behold, after a semester in the new private Catholic school, the boy's grades were straight A's, even in math!

Surprised, his mother asked him how he liked his new school. "Oh, it's all right, I guess," he replies. "They must be teaching you some new tricks!" "Not really." "Then what do you think is making the difference in your grades?" "Well", he says, "as soon as I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the catholic boys episcopal jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working catholic boys catholicism piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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