Catching Fish Jokes

126 catching fish jokes and hilarious catching fish puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about catching fish that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Catching Fish Short Jokes

Short catching fish jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The catching fish humour may include short fishing jokes also.

  1. Fishermen hate him- You won't believe the one item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else Click bait.
  2. Fishermen hate him—you'll never guess this one strange item he uses to catch more fish than anyone else Click bait
  3. Dating is a lot like fishing Sure, there's plenty of fish in the sea. But until i catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
  4. What do you call a girl who catches fish? Anette.
  5. They say that there are plenty of fish in the sea. But until I catch one, I'm just going to be sitting here, holding my rod.
  6. They say there are plenty of fish in the sea. But until you catch one you're just holding your rod.
  7. Finding a girlfriend is a lot like fishing... There are plenty of fish in the sea, but it's just you holding your rod until you catch one.
  8. Son : Dad, how do I catch fish? Dad : Just throw this clickbait into the water
    Son : And then what?
    Dad : What happens next will shock you
  9. A father takes his son fishing Son: Dad, can you teach me how to catch fish?
    Dad: Sure, son! first you throw the clickbait into the water
    Son: What next?
    Dad: What happens next will shock you!
  10. Chinese Proverb Catch a man a fish and he eats for day. Teach a man to fish and you never see him on weekends.

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Catching Fish One Liners

Which catching fish one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with catching fish? I can suggest the ones about eating fish and fish catch.

  1. There's plenty more fish in the sea But until I catch one I'm left here holding my rod.
  2. Every fish you catch and release goes home with an alien abduction story.
  3. What do you call a women that catches fish? Annette
  4. How does a Buzzfeed writer catch fish? Clickbait.
  5. How do you catch a steroidal fish? With A-Rod.
  6. What do you call a woman who is really good at catching fish? Annette.
  7. How does a flamenco dancer catch fish? Castanet.
  8. A guy asked me if I wanted some free fish... I asked, What's the catch?
  9. What do you call a girl who catches fish? Annette.
  10. Why did the fisherman refuse to share his catch ? He was shell fish.
  11. What kind of instrument helps you catch fish? Castanets
  12. How do you catch a dyslexic fish? Ya get it Hooked on Phonics!
  13. How does a fisherman catch the most fish? He fish in sea.
  14. How does a grizzly catch fish? With his bear hands!
  15. How do you catch a Swedish fish? With a gummy worm as bait

Catching Fish Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about catching fish you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean caught no fish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make catching fish pranks.

A man is fishing and he catches a crocodile. The crocodile tells him, "Please let me go! I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man says, "Okay, I wish my p*nis could touch the ground." The crocodile then bites his legs off.

Fishing in a frozen lake
It was a cold winter day.
An old man walked out onto a frozen lake, cut a hole in the ice, dropped in his fishing line, and waited patiently for a bite.
He was there for almost an hour, without even a nibble, when a young boy walked out onto the ice, cut a hole in the ice next to him.
The young boy dropped his fishing line and minutes later he hooked a Largemouth Bass.
The old man couldn't believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck.
Shortly thereafter, the young boy pulled in another large catch.
The young boy kept catching fish after fish.
Finally, the old man couldn't take it any longer.
"Son" he said, "I've been here for over an hour without even a nibble.
You've been here only a few minutes and have caught a half dozen fish!
How do you do it?" The boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm."
"What was that?" the old man asked.
Again the boy responded, "Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm." "Look," said the old man, "I can't understand a word you're saying."
The boy spat the bait into his hand and said... "You have to keep the worms warm!"

Fishing rule #1: The least experienced fisherman always catches the biggest fish.
Fishing rule #2: The worse your line is tangled, the better is the fishing around you.
Fishing rule #3: Fishing will do a lot for a man but it won't make him truthful.

There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back home

A Fishing Tale

On the shore of the Indian Ocean a raggedy Indian fisherman lay dozing with a hat over his face. Beside him two fishing lines were stuck into the sand.
Up comes an American.
'What are you sleeping for?' says the American. 'You'd be better off catching fish.'
'What for?' asks the fisherman.
'What do you mean, what for? You'd catch some fish, you'd sell them and with the money you'd buy yourself a trawler.
The trawler would catch even more fish. You'd sell it and buy yourself an even bigger boat. You'd catch still more fish. You'd sell it.
Then you'd build yourself a fish processing factory . . . and get rich.
And then you could lie on the beach and sleep.'
The fisherman pulled his hat even further down over his face.
'But that's what I'm doing now.'

So a man was driving on the highway with a speed limit of 90

.. but then he noticed that all the other drivers were way above the speed limit so our guy thought "hey everybody's speeding, i cant get caught" so he goes above 110. Ten minutes later, a cop pulls him over.
Clearly upset, our guy says "But officer, i wasn't the only one speeding.. there were a bunch of others too.. why did you catch only me?"
Cop says" Ever gone fishing?"
Guy says yes,
Cop- "ever caught all the fish??"

Bag limit.

A guy was on his boat fishing in a pond and caught way over the bag limit. He was heading back to the dock when the game warden stopped him and asked to check what he caught. The warden opens the fishermen's cooler and sees that the guy has surpassed his limit by about 20 fish. The warden tells the man he has too many fish and he is going to cite the fishermen. The fishermen says "No, you see these are my pet fish. I didn't catch them I called them to me". The warden doesn't believe the guy, and so the fishermen tells the warden he will show him. The guy dumps the cooler of fish in the water. The warden waits a minute and says to the guy "ok now call the fish back".
"What fish?"

Play around

So corporate exec Joe is flying across the Pacific, when his plane crashes. Joe survives, but finds himself stranded on a desert island, with nothing to eat but coconuts, and whatever seafood he can catch. 10 years go by, with poor Joe having no human contact. One day, as Joe is fishing for his dinner, a beautiful blonde woman comes wading out of the surf, wearing a full body wet suit. She approaches Joe and introduces herself "Hi, I'm Julie", Joe is so excited, all he can say "I'm Joe, and I've been stranded here alone for 10 years". "Wow" reply's Julie "10 years stranded here, I bet you'd like a cigarette" . "Would I ever" says Joe, and with that the young lady unzips a pocket on her sleeve, pulls out a pack of Marlboro reds, lights 2 and passes one to Joe. "Wow 10 years alone on this island" Julie repeats, "I bet you'd like a beer". "Would I ever" replies Joe, and with that the lady unzips a pocket on her leg, pulls out 2 cold Budweiser's, opens them and hands one to Joe. The young lady starts to seductively unzip the front of her wet suit, and says "Wow 10 years alone on this island, I bet you'd like to play around wouldn't you". "Would I ever" says Joe excitedly, "You got golf clubs in there?"

Luigi the Fisherman

No one in this town could catch any fish except this one little old Italian man. The game warden asked Luigi how he did it.
Luigi said, "Comma down tomorrow...we go fish"
Once they got to the middle of the lake Luigi took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the water. After the e**... fish started floating to the top of the water He took out a net and started picking up the best ones.
"Luigi!" said the game warden, "You know that's i**...!" "I'm going to have to arrest you now."
Luigi took out another stick of dynamite, lit it and handed it to the game warden and said,

"Hey! are you gonna talk or fish?"

Two guys were out on a lake ice fishing

One looks at the other and sees that he's got a pile of fish, and asks him,
"hey buddy, how'd you catch so many fish and I'm sitting here with nothing?"
"Eep or orms orm" the man grumbled
"Eep or orms orm!"
"Buddy, i got no clue what you're saying!"
The man spat in exasperation and said, "Keep your worms warm!"


1. What kind of birds always stick together? VEL CROWS.
2. What is a spider's favorite thing to do? SURF THE WEB.
3. What goes around the cow but never moves? THE FENCE.
4. Why didn't cheddar cheese want to hang out with bleu cheese? BECAUSE HE HAD A MOLDY PERSONALITY.
5. Why do fish swim in schools? BECAUSE THEY CANT WALK IN SCHOOLS.
6. How do you catch a unique rabbit? YOU NIQUE UP ON IT.

Old Armenian man catches a golden fish

While fishing, an old Armenian man catches a golden fish.
The golden fish starts to plead to the old man, "if you set me free, I will grant you one wish. Any wish that you want!"
The old man thinks for a second, and then pulls out a map.
"You see this tiny country," says the old man, while pointing to the map. "This is Armenia as it stands today."
"Our land used to be much larger," says the man as he points out the borders of ancient Armenia.
"I want all of our lost lands back!"
The golden fish thinks for a second, then says, "that's going to be tough, is there anything else you could think of?"
The man puts the map back in his pocket, and pulls out a picture. He says, "this is a picture of my daughter. It's time she starts a family..can you find her a husband?"
The golden fish thinks for a few seconds and then responds, "let me see that map again."

Did you hear about the 6 guys and the woman that went fishing?

The guys didn't catch anything, but the woman came home with a red snapper.

Confusious say, when one man fishes in another man's well...

...he is likely to catch c**....

This one's for dad...

A man goes fishing in a faraway creek, but soon finishes the worms he has brought with him: The fish are too wily.
Just as he is mulling over what to do -- go back home or dig somewhere for more worms -- he sees a frog hopping along nearby with two worms in its mouth.
The man catches the frog, takes the worms out of the frog's mouth, and pours a few drops of the whiskey he has been having.
When he releases the frog, it hops away in a little tipsy sort of a way.
The man turns his attention to fishing again, but soon enough, he is again out of worms.
He looks around again, and finds himself surrounded by frogs, all looking at him with two worms in each one's mouth!
PS: This is one of the first jokes my dad told me. Hence the title.

So, I once went fishing with a fishing pole and brick...

...after some time a hot blonde walked up to me and asked:
-"What are you doing?"
-"Ok, I get what the fishing rod is for, but whats up with the brick?"
-"Oh, If you have s**... with me, I'll tell you."
She considered for a moment and agreed.
After 2 minutes, when I was done, she asked again:
-"So, now you have to tell me! Whats the brick for?"
-"oh, well... It is easier to fish with the brick."
-"How come?"
-''You are my 4th catch today.''

What does a fisherman say when he catches a fish?

His catch-phrase.
Short n' Sweet, hope you like it!

Three Fishermen

Three fishermen are fishing and one of them catches a magic fish. The magic fish begs for life and says: Please let me go. You each have a wish and I'll make them come true!
The fishermen agreed. One fisherman says, I want to be the president of the United States! , and he becomes the President of the United States, and is now in the White House. The second fisherman says, I want to be a famous movie star! and immediately he's a famous movie star living in his mansion somewhere in Beverly Hills. The last fisherman says, This is a joke! Bring those fools over here so we can catch some fish and go home, it's getting late!

What kind of bait do you need to catch a master fish?

Super Bait

Why couldn't the troll catch any fish?

Because other people took the bait.

The oldest joke in the world: "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh?"

You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.

Going fishing with my mates who all have the flu.

I hope I catch something!

Jesus, Moses and an old man are playing golf.

Moses steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and lands in the water trap. Moses parts the water and chips onto the green.
Jesus steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the water trap but still lands in the water. Jesus just walks on the water and chips the ball onto the green.
The old man steps up to the tee and hits the ball. It goes sailing over the fairway and heads for the water trap. But just before it lands in the water a fish jumps out of the water and catches the ball in his mouth, then an eagle swoops down and grabs the fish in its claws, then the eagle flies over the green and is hit by a sudden bolt lightning and the eagle drops the fish.
When the fish hits the ground, the ball pops out of his mouth and rolls in for a hole in one.
Jesus then turns to the old man and says, "Dad, if you don't stop fooling around we won't bring you next time!"

A business man walks down a harbor...

He meets a fisherman, the fisherman offers him 5 fish for free. The business man says "what's the catch?".

did ypu read the Buzzfeed article about using a computer mouse to catch fish?

If a fish was trying to catch humans, what would the sport be called?

Bass Murderering

According to my mother the fish I'm eating for dinner and I have something in common

We're a catch

How does a Russian catch fish?

A niet!

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi...

...decide to have a friendly competition to see who is the best at their job. To make things interesting, they agree to see who is best at converting the bears in the local woods. A week passes, and they get together to compare notes.
The priest says, "I was walking through the woods and came upon a patch of berries where there was a bear, gathering berries. I walked up to the bear and I gave him the Holy Communion, and thus converted the bear".
The minister goes, "I too was walking through the woods, and came across a stream. There was a bear in the stream, catching fish. So I waded out to him, and baptized the bear right there, and so converting him."
The priest and minster look over to the rabbi, and this guy is in rough shape. He is in total traction, with a full body cast, cuts and scrapes on his face and hands.
"Oy," the rabbi says, "In retrospect, I shouldn't have led with the circumcision."

Why is fishing dangerous?

Sometimes, there's a catch

How do you catch a digital fish


A wise man once said...

Man who fish in other mans well catch many c**....

Why did the hipster never catch a fish?

Because he didn't go in the mainstream

One of these days, I'm going to go fishing for complements.

I hope I catch some peanut butter and jelly.

Why didn't Ronald McDonald like to go fishing?

Because every time he did, he'd catch a whopper.

What bait do you use to catch a space fish?

A worm hole

I went fishing but didn't catch any fish

It was a failure.

Didn't manage to catch any fish today...

It was a failure.

A cop pulls a car over for speeding...

A cop pulls a car over for speeding.
The guy tries to defend himself by saying, "I was just going with the flow of traffic."
The cop replies, "Ever go fishing?"
"Ever catch ALL the fish?"

Investigating Hillary Clinton is like fishing on Discovery Channel

... you catch them, you show them, and you let them go.

A cop pulls a driver over for speeding

The driver says, "C'mon, everyone on the road was breaking the speed limit."
The cop nods and says, "Tell me, have you ever been fishing?"
"Yeah... What's that got to do with it?"
"Did you catch *all* the fish?"

why was the man fishing on the railroad tracks?

He wanted to catch a Great Northern.

What kind of fish do you catch with clickbait?

s**... fish!

My friend told me of this fish...

My friend told me of this amazing kind of fish, he said it was impossible to catch! He said it broke the string on his rod! I've never seen it. I've fished for days and days... Nothing. You know? I'm starting to think that it's not reel.

A fishing boat has to dump its catch to save it from sinking..

Abandon Shrimp!!

You know how they say - there's plenty fish in the sea?

Took a subway to work today with my fly open, didn't catch a one.

A man went ice fishing one day and reeled-in a giant ice cube

After months of only catching fish, he finally caught a cold.

What kinds of fish do lawyers catch?

Red Herring

There are plenty of fish in the sea...

...and they're easy to catch if you've got a big rod.

What did the father say when fishing with his kid?

With him as a bait, i might catch something good.

What do you call it when someone catches lots of fish with fishing equipment they found on the beach?

Sandy Hook massacre

Wife : Honey before we got married , you used to give me gifts and expensive jewelry.

Husband : Yes…so ?
Wife : How come you don't do it anymore ?
Husband : Have you ever seen a fisherman give worms to the fish after catching it?

Mama always said Fishing is like a h**......

You never know what you're gonna catch.

Most people tell me there are many fish in the sea.

So till i catch one imma play with my rod

Me and my dad went fishing...

when he caught a small shark, he called it his dadliest catch.

How do you catch a fish on your computer?

You use the Internet

How do ya catch a fish under da computer?

With the internet, d**...!

Whats the name of that old reality show where they go fishing and catch a bunch of c**...?

Oh, right.
Jersey Shore...I miss that show.

A Youtuber got extremely famous for catching lots of fish with only a computer mouse...

Turns out it was just clickbait.

A fisherman is fishing by the river shore when a man rushes towards him, catches his breath and says:

Man: "Excuse me, have you seen a woman pass by this area?"
Fisherman: "One with a white dress with black stripes?"
Man: "Yes, exactly! She must not be very far away, right?"
Fisherman: "I don't think so, the current isn't very strong today."

Quentin Tarantino went fishing, and he almost landed a pretty good catch. Unfortunately, it got away because his footing was extremely bad.

Seems he was slipping in glorious bass turds.

If I catch a gold fish I would wish to have 10 times as much energy

But 10*0 = 0

A fish swims by two others

One fish catches the other watching as it goes by.
When he discovers he's been caught he exclaimed, "Sorry, I can't help it it's just a Halibut."

They say there are plenty of fish in the sea, but what happens when someone can't catch any fish?

They become master baiters.