Cataracts Jokes
58 cataracts jokes and hilarious cataracts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cataracts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cataracts Short Jokes
Short cataracts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cataracts humour may include short blindness jokes also.
- Have you heard like 50% of Chinese people have cataracts? Yeah, I guess the other 50% drive "rincoln towncah".
- Cataracts are extremely rare in Japan. Chevrorets and Rincolns, on the other hand, are quite common.
- A chinese man goes to the eye doctor... The doctor says "You have cataract. " and the chinese guy says "No, I have a rinkin continental."
- Asian guy goes to a eye doctor After the checkup the doctor says "The problem is you have a cataract" then the Asian guy responds with"No I have a tesra"
- I just learned that half of Asian-Americans have cataracts. The other half drive a Rincoln.
- An Asian man walks into an optometrist's office AFter testing the mans vision the doctor says to him
"Sir i belive you have a cataract"
"Nonsense" the man says "I drive a Rincoln" - Two girl twins are born. One is named Skye after her perfect blue eyes The other has cataracts, so was called Claudia
- An asian man goes to the eye doctor... Doctor: "Sir you have cataracts."
Asian man: "No I drive a honda." - Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary."
Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?" - Cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness. Religion and politics remain the first two.
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Cataracts One Liners
Which cataracts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cataracts? I can suggest the ones about lenses and contact lenses.
- 50% of Japanese doctors have Cataracts... The other 50% drive Rincolns.
- 9/10 Asians have cataracts The 10th one has a Mercedes
- Fact: 50% of Japanese have Cataracts The other 50% drive Rexus and Chrysrer
- What is the most common cause of feline blindness? Cataracts
- I heard most Japanese men have cataracts It's not true, some of them drive Rincons
- 9/10 Asian doctors have cataracts........ The other has a Rincoln
- 2% of Japanese have cataracts... The rest drive toyota and Nissan.
- What do rich, blind, Asians drive? Cataracts
- As my grandfather once said... It's so foggy out here, I can't see through my cataracts.
- What do blind people drive? A cataract.
- Why did the cat go to the eye doctor? because he had a cat-aract
- in japan 2/3 population hava cataracts the other 1/3 have rincon continental
- Why did the old cat lose it's vision? It got cat-aracts.
- What do Chinese ophthalmologist drive? Cataracts.
- What's a blind mans favorite car? A cataract

Uproarious Cataracts Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about cataracts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad eyesight jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cataracts pranks.
My Dad told me this one today
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor,
The doctor tells him "You have a cataract",
The man says "No, I drive a Rincoln."
My dad told this one to me today and just thought it was hilarious
Cataract Surgery
An Asian man walks into the eye doctor for a check up, the doctor asks, "Do you have Cataracts?"
The Asian man replies, "No, me have Hondas."
Mr Wong goes to the Eye Doctor...
Mr Wong goes to the Eye Doctor. He tells the Dr "I cannot see where." The doctor gives him an exam and says "Mr Wong, I know what your problem is. You have cataracts." Mr Wong replies angrily "No sir!! I drive Rincoln Continentor!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know that 50% of asian businessmen have cataracts?
The other half have BMW's.
I used to date a girl with cataracts
Things were going great until one day she stopped seeing me.
A man takes his Great Dane to the vet
The vet picks the dog up and inspects him and says to the man.
Sir, your dog has cataracts and I will have to put him down
The man says You have to put my dog down for cataracts!?!?
The vet replies Oh no he`s just very heavy
An Asian goes to the optometrist...
The optometrist says, after a moment or two: "I see what the problem is...you have a cataract."
The Asian immediately replies: "no no, it's a Rincon Continental."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... after Surgery
A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman has sued Wellington Hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in s**....
A hospital spokesman replied: "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
New study shows Asians are more likely to get cataracts...
and wrincolns, and Hondas
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
c**... goes to see the eye doctor
so a c**... goes to see and eye doctor, having problems seeing.
doctor says "ah i see the problem, youve got a cataract"
c**... says "no i drive a rincorn"
An man goes to the optometrist
Dr. Li sits him down and begins to go through a full eye exam.
"Oh, no" the doctor says. "I think you have a cataract".
"Nah, Doc" the man replies. "I drive a Porsche"
A Chinese man goes to see an eye doctor (Racist)
After the examination, the doctor says "You have a cataract."
The Chinese guy replies, "No, I have a Rincoln Continentar."
Courtesy of Junior in the Sopranos
Is it better to have both cataracts removed at the same time
Is it better to have both cataracts removed at the same time or wait a few weeks between operations?
We need a double blind study.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to my WIFES doctor and told him I was going to sue him.
When he asked why I explained that ever since my wife left his care she hasn't been s**... interested in me.
The doctor said all he done was cataract surgery and now she can see.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Racist joke I heard from The Sopranos
A Chinese man walks into the eye doctors
The doctor said I know why you have trouble seeing, you have a cataract.
The Chinese man said No, I drive a Lincoln.
A Lady Threatened to Sue Her Husband's Doctor
A lady threatened to sue her husband's doctor because after he recovered from surgery he had performance issues in bed. She claimed that he could no longer get it up and therefore could no longer please her.
The Doctor responded with "How's that my fault? I only removed his cataracts."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Nancy Pelosi has sued Stanford Hospital, saying that "after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in s**...".
A hospital spokesman replied: "Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.
A patient gets its eyes checked after cataract surgery
He asks his doctor: How does it look, doc? Am I able the play the piano?
Doctor: It looks all fine. With the right glasses it should be no problem.
Patient: That's amazing, I've never played the piano before!
My Asian eye doctor
Since I am half-Chinese and half-Filipino, and in recognition of AAPI month, I shall relate what happened visiting the eye doctor. I had been having trouble seeing while driving, so I went to my eye doctor, who happens to be Asian like me. He did the usual things, the eye charts, peering into my eyes, glaucoma test, etc. Finally, he sat back and said, "I know why you have trouble seeing while driving. You have a cataract."
"Bad guess, doc," I replied. "I have a Mercedes."
A very angry woman stormed up to the receptionist's desk at a doctor's office. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday!" she complained.
The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing, he said. Why do you think it was taken here?
After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.
I think, explained the surgeon gently, that means your cataract operation was a success.
A furious lady marches into the eye clinic's reception area and shouts at the receptionist, "Who stole my wig during my eye surgery yesterday?"
The doctor immediately rushes out to pacify her. "I assure you, no one on my team would do such a thing. What makes you think it was stolen?"
The woman replies, "Well, before the procedure, my wig was perfect, but when I woke up, it was a tangled mess, and made me look ugly and cheap."
"I think," says the surgeon gently, "this means your cataract operation was a success."

