Cat Scratch Jokes
23 cat scratch jokes and hilarious cat scratch puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cat scratch that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Cat Scratch Short Jokes
Short cat scratch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cat scratch humour may include short car scratch jokes also.
- A cat scratches at the gate to heaven to get in. St Peter opens the door. He looks down at the cat and snarls Egh, what is it now, in or out?!
- Having a cat is just like having a girlfriend ... They both
* wail and moan when you neglect to feed them
* bite and scratch when you try to pet them
* keep escaping from the basement - My cat scratched me for trapping her under the blankets as I made the bed... I guess she's clawstrophobic.
- Time to change careers. This cat burglar thing isn't working out. Too many friggin' scratches.
- My cat just told me to throw away my memoir draft… He told me it would be better to start from scratch.
- My cat is the opposite of a scratch n sniff sticker First he sniffs me, then he starts stratching
- Why are cat's carvings expensive? Because they start from scratch
I'm bad at this aren't I - My kids were hungry so I made them burgers from scratch. They got really upset and started to cry.
Scratch is a s**... name for a cat anyway.. - I surprised my family today and made the Christmas dinner from scratch. They started crying.
Scratch is a s**... name for a cat anyway...
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Cat Scratch One Liners
Which cat scratch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cat scratch? I can suggest the ones about cat tail and cat fur.
- Why did it take Mr. Cat so long to bake his cookies? He made everything from scratch.
- Why are cats the best learners? Because they can always learn from scratch...
- What do you tell the cat if it scratches you? "You hurt me-ow!!"
- A man loses to his cat in a game of pool He kept getting scratches
- What do you call it when your cat scratches you and leaves a scar? A Cattoo...
Cat Scratch Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about cat scratch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cat paw jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cat scratch pranks.
A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all on the run from the cops...
They find an abandoned potato factory and each hide in a huge brown sack. The cops arrive and kick the first sack. The redhead yells, "Woof! Woof"! to imitate a dog. The captain says, "Leave it be! We don't need some dog out here biting our ankles". A cop kicks the second sack, and the brunette says, "Meow!" The captain says, "Leave it be! I don't want some cat out here scratching our faces". A cop kicks the last sack, and the blonde says, "Potatoes!"
When you put catnip in a scratching board to encourage cats to scratch it, you think it's cute when they use it.
But I would think that from their point of view, it's more like a crack addict that dropped a rock through a grate and is trying to get it back.
Heisenberg and Schroedinger we driving on the freeway
maybe going to a seminar, when they get pulled over by the CHP. The cop comes around to the driver side and says to Heisenberg, "Do you know how fast you were going?" And so Heisenberg says, "No, but I knew where I was". The cop scratches his head, and says, "Pop the trunk, I want to take a look". He walks back, looks in and then walks around to the right side and says to Schroedinger, "Do you know you have a dead cat in the trunk?" Schroedinger says, "I do now".
A man visits a doctor...
He complains about chest pains. The doctor nods and asks him to wait. The doctor excuses himself for a moment and returns with a labrador. The dog sniffs the man, licks him and is the taken away by the doctor. The doctor now returns with a cat , it licks the man and scratches him with its paws. Its then taken away. The man is now confused. Meanwhile the doctor returns.
And says "That would $500."
The man was now furious and said "But for what I have only been here for a few minutes and you haven't even checked me up , all you did was fool around with a cat and a dog".
To which the doctor replies "But sir its for the LAB test and the CAT scan."