The Best 34 Cat People Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cat People jokes. There are some cat people person jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cat people feral cats puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cat People Jokes and Puns

I don't know why so many people thought Cats was a bad movie.

They played it on my flight home and there were only two walkouts.

This hating of people that breastfeed in public really has to stop.

I can raise my cat any way I want.

Since people are translating their native jokes, I hope no one has posted this yet

There were 3 boys who were being chased by the police. John the wise, Peter the smart, and Jose the dumb.

As the police were gaining on them, they each decided to hide in a box in an alley way.

The policeman ran up to John's Box and kicked it.

Thinking quickly, John said "Woof woof"

The policeman shrugged and said "Ohhh, its just a dog"

He then went up Peter's box, and kicked it.

Peter followed John's example, "Meow meow"

The Policeman shrugged again and said "Ohhh, its just a cat"

He then went to the last box, which hid Jose and kicked it

"Potato Potato"

People always tell me I shouldn't give my cat a bath...

I don't see what the big deal is. Honestly, it's fine once I get all the hair off my tongue.

A dog asks a cat : Why do u always hide when having sex ????????

Cat replies: You want people to steal my style like they stole yours?, NEVER!!!!


What's the difference between cats and dogs?

A dog thinks:

These people, they love me, provide me with shelter and feed me. They must be gods.

A cat thinks:

These people, they love me, provide me with shelter and feed me. I must be a god.

How cats and dogs think

Dog: These people feed me, pet me, love me, they must be God.

Cat: These people feed me, pet me, love me, I must be a God.

I saw a poster today, somebody was asking Have you seen my cat?

So I called the number and said that I didn't. I like to help people.

In the sixties, people said the government would wiretap your home.

People today: Hey wiretap, can cats eat pickles?

The difference between cats and dogs

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me ... THEY MUST BE GODS!

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me and take good care of me ... I MUST BE A GOD!

Did you know cats don't always land on their feet.

People just suck at throwing them.

You can explore cat people felines reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cat people feline dad jokes. There are also cat people puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Some people are dog people, some are cat people. I'm a people person.

Just ask the hitchhikers I keep in the kennel out back.

In what way are cats and SEO the same?

They both have nine lives (cause non-SEO people have always said it is dead)

Curiosity killed the cat

One day I was walking by a tall fence. On the other side I could hear a group of people chanting, "12! 12! 12! 12!" Confused, I tried to jump up and see over the fence, to see what's going on but the fence was too tall. A little further up, I saw a small hole in the fence. I walked up to it and peeked through. As soon as I looked, I was poked in the eye by a stick. They all started chanting, "13! 13! 13! 13!"

How do cats speak to people?

They commeownicate. ^I'm^so^sorry

People ask why my cat is made of iron and looks so thin

It's because he's a Fe Line

I like to call steel beams "cats."

People often look at me oddly, but then I explain it to them:

"CFe lines!"

Lazy people find the most strangest reasons not to do something.

I would make a list but, it's Monday and I just fed the cats.

Did you know that every year cats kill more people than sharks?

But that's probably because it's hard to get the cat to get in the ocean.


I hate when people kick my cats!

It really hurts my felines.

I'm gonna name my cat Jeopardy.

So when I show it to other people I can say "This! Is! Jeopardy!"

My mother said that I'm indecisive

I couldn't understand where that came from, so I asked people. "It's because you like both dogs and cats" said my boyfriend. "No, no, no. It's because she likes both tea and coffee" said my girlfriend.

Some people like to categorize others as either "dog people" or "cat people" ...

...but I consider this a false dog-cat-omy.

Facebook is a lot like ancient Egypt

People write on walls, use emojis, and worship cats.

I have a cat and named him, business.

So when other people asked," why are you so busy?"

I replied, "I am taking care of business".

Would you like to see my BBC?

It's a lazy fat cat and keeps superstitious people away.

Movies appeal to either dog people or cat people.

For example the Hunger Games has more of a feline nature. There's a certain cat-ness to it.

Serval Psychological Studies Show People are so Accustomed to Cat Humour on the Internet...

That They Completely Miss Cat Puns in Thread Titles.

20 people and a cat walk into a bar

Only the cat survives

Flint and Catfished

What do the people of Flint Michigan have in common with the victims of cat-fishing. They all thirsty people the rest of the country forgot about.

Have you ever seen those documentaries of people who clean themselves like cats?

They are fascinating to watch, though they typically only ever clean each other's genitals.

I needed to get my cat dewormed this morning and went down to the animal clinic. They were closed!

These people must've got the wrong idea.

It's Veterans Day, not Veterinarians Day!

Some people like cats and some people don't.

Apparently the Pope's a cataholic.

The leaders of the Big Three after the conference in Yalta

After WW2 in 1945 the leaders of the Big Three(USA, UK and the Soviet Union) respectively Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin met in Yalta for a conference to decide the fate of the world.

After the conference they wanted to have some fun. They decided to try and make the Persian cat in the residence to eat mustard.

Churchill started first. He took a silver spoon with some mustard and tried his best to feed the cat but failed.

-You british people don't understand, it should be done with democracy - said Roosevelt.

He took some chicken and put some mustard on it. The cat sniffed for a moment but walked away with no interest in the food he offered.

Without any hesitation Stalin took the cat and started to spread mustard on the fluffy tail. The cat started meowing loudly and lickΠ΅d the tail to wash out the mustard. Meowed and licked, meowed and licked... Then Stalin said wisely:

-That's how we do everything in our country, voluntarily and with a song.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cat people stray cats jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cat people stray dogs piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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