Cat Paw Jokes

62 cat paw jokes and hilarious cat paw puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cat paw that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Cat Paw Short Jokes

Short cat paw jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cat paw humour may include short cat fur jokes also.

  1. (My 6 year old's first homemade joke) What kind of clothes do cats wear to bed? Answer: Paw-jamas
  2. What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
  3. What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat? One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.
  4. When a woman gets to a certain age they start to accumulate cats Apparently it's known as many-paws
  5. The cat walks all over my keyboard while I'm gaming. And just as I've always told my parents I have to tell the cat, I'm playing online, I can't paws it.
  6. When women get to a certain age, they start collecting cats..... This is known as the many paws.
  7. What does a room full of cats, and a woman of certain age have in common? They both have many paws (say fast)
  8. My cat loves Sky Plus. He loves the PAWS feature.
  9. What's the different between a cat and a comma? A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause
  10. Why are cats always able to land on their feet? Because they can paws in mid-air

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Cat Paw One Liners

Which cat paw one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cat paw? I can suggest the ones about cat tail and cat owner.

  1. Where do theatrical cats wear their gloves? On their...
    Dramatic Paws
  2. When women reach a certain age they start accumulating cats This is known as many paws
  3. When women get to a certain age they begin to accumulate cats This is known as many paws.
  4. Why are cats and daughters equal in Alabama? They both lick their paw.
  5. Why'd it take so long for the two legged cat to cross the road? It had two paws
  6. What’s a cat’s favorite button on a DVD remote? Paws.
  7. Why couldn't the cat watch the movie? The video was stuck on paws.
  8. What's a cat's favorite part of a video game? The PAWS button!
  9. I understand now why my cat sleeps so much. She's living life on paws.
  10. Why is my cat constantly embarrassed? Because he always has fou' paws!
  11. What do you call a cat who uses fake finger prints? an im-paw-ster.
  12. Why wasn't the cat moving? It was on paws
  13. What do you call a cat with only two legs? Paw paw.
  14. Why are cats so bad at video games? Because they can only press paws.
  15. You wanna know why a cat can jump so high? because they have good PAW-sture

Cat Paw Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about cat paw you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cat sound jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cat paw pranks.

What does a cat use to talk?

His Meowth

A woman takes her dead parrot into a vet's office...

And lays it upon the examination table. The vet takes one look at the deceased bird and says, 'Sorry Ma'am, but your parrot is dead.' The woman isn't satisfied, and asks for a second opinion. The vet obliges and pokes his head into the next room and calls in a second doctor. A cat saunters in, jumps up onto the table, looks up to the vet with sorrow in his eyes and says, 'Meow.' 'Sorry,' the vet says, 'my colleague says your parrot is dead. The woman still isn't satisfied and wants yet another opinion. The vet, as before, pokes his head into the next room, but this time a dog bounds in, puts its paws on the table, sniffs the bird and barks. 'Sorry Ma'am, but that's three doctor's opinions. Your bird is certainly dead.' 'Alright,' the woman says, 'you win, here's the $50 for the appointment.' '$50?' The vet exclaims, 'You owe me $150 for the extra cat scan and the lab report.'

The dead duck.

A not-so-bright farmer brings his dead duck to a vet, asking for treatment. The vet takes one look and says, "I'm sorry, but that duck is dead." The farmer asks if they can do some tests to make sure. The vet agrees and whistles, summoning a black lab. the dog puts its front paws on the table and sniffs for a moment, then walks out of the room, whining with its tail between its legs. The vet again says, "I'm sorry, but that duck is dead." The farmer asks for one more test, and the vet whistles one more time. This time, a tabby cat scampers in and leaps onto the table, and walks around the duck, before exiting like the dog. The vet says "Unfortunately the duck is 100% dead sir. I'm sorry for your loss. That'll be $1500." "WHAT?!?!?!" exclaims the farmer. The vet explained, "Well Lab tests and CAT scans aren't cheap…"

A man visits a doctor...

He complains about chest pains. The doctor nods and asks him to wait. The doctor excuses himself for a moment and returns with a labrador. The dog sniffs the man, licks him and is the taken away by the doctor. The doctor now returns with a cat , it licks the man and scratches him with its paws. Its then taken away. The man is now confused. Meanwhile the doctor returns.
And says "That would $500."
The man was now furious and said "But for what I have only been here for a few minutes and you haven't even checked me up , all you did was fool around with a cat and a dog".
To which the doctor replies "But sir its for the LAB test and the CAT scan."

Dead duck

An old lady has a sick pet duck that she loves dearly, but she's broke so she takes him to a cheap veterinary clinic. The vet doc says your duck is dying there's nothing we can do. Devastated she pleads for him to try anything, so he says he'll be right back. He walks back in with a Labrador by his side, the dog places one paw on the duck, nothing. Vet doc says OK one moment. Leaves comes back with a cat, cat places one paw on the duck, nothing. The vet doc then tells the lady that's all he can do but her duck is still dying. Defeated and broken she leaves, upon receiving the bill on the way out its three times higher than she expected hud. She ask the secretary why and she says "it says here you requested additional LAB work and a CAT scan"

Cats & Movies

What did the cat do when he didn't want to watch the movie?
He paws-ed it!

Do cats stutter?

No, but they paws.

What do cats and awkward conversations have in common?

Lots of paws.

I was pondering life with the cat wizard...

Then he said something that gave me paws.

Why did the cowboy orphan cat limp into the bar?

He was looking for the man who shot his paw.

A woman brings her duck to the vet...

The vet lays it on the table and says, "Ma'am, I'm afraid your duck is dead."
"No it's not! He was fine in the car, I swear! I want proof!" So the vet leaves, and then walks back in with a black lab. The dog walks up to the duck, sniffs it and turns his head. Then the vet brings in a kitten, and it runs up to the duck, pawing at its wings.
"Hmm.." the vet says, "Looks like it really is dead. That'll be $550."
"What?! You're going to make me pay $550 just to tell me my duck is dead??" The woman screams.
"Well, ma'am, it was $5 for the check up and $545 for the lab results and the cat scan."

A deformed cat walks into a bar

The bartender says:
"What can I do for you?"
To which the cat immediately replies:
"I'll have a gla-..."
"-ss of your finest milk please!"
And so the bartender places the glass of milk onto the bar table.
To which the cat, from all the way of the other end of the bar table, scoops it up and pulls it over without getting up from his seat.
And the bartender says:
"So I gotta ask"
"Why the long paws?"

What does a cat call his grandfather?


I've been watching a cat documentary today

It's on paws

I can't watch Netflix with my cat...

Because she paws it.

Why can't cats play computer games?

Because they're always on paws.

What did the cat say when he lost all his money?

I'm paw!


What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.

What do West Virginian girls, and cats have in common?

They both like l**... their paws...

When women hit a certain age they start to collect lots of cats.

Otherwise known as the many-paws.

What happens when cats become philosophical?

They like to paws and reflect on life

I wouldn't say I was afraid when I joined the Cat Leg Collectors Club...

...but it did give me paws.