Cat And Mouse Jokes
53 cat and mouse jokes and hilarious cat and mouse puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cat and mouse that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cat And Mouse Short Jokes
Short cat and mouse jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cat and mouse humour may include short cat and dog jokes also.
- So apparently Curiosity, a Mars rover, found something resembling a mouse... If Mars is suffering from a mouse infestation it's probably because Curiosity killed the cat.
- What's the difference between a roommate and a cat? One has a house mate, and the other has a mouse hate.
- This next question will determine whether you are imparied or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?
- Does Mickey Mouse watch cat videos? No. He tried once, but he couldn't put on the notebook's headphones.
- Curiosity has killed my cat.... At least I think it did. I mistook Schrodinger's box for my cat carrier when I threw the squeaky-catnip-mouse toy in...
- I had issues with my wireless mouse... ...so i got a cable cat and now my problems are solved
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Cat And Mouse One Liners
Which cat and mouse one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cat and mouse? I can suggest the ones about cats and kittens and cats and dogs.
- What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
- When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When your a mouse!
Edit : you're a mouse - When is it bad luck to have a black cat follow you? When you are a mouse.
- Why are cats always sitting on keyboards? So they can play with the mouse
*bah dum tsss* - When does a black cat bring bad luck? When you're a mouse!
- Why couldn't the grandma use her computer? Because her cat ate the mouse.
- My keyboard is a cat Works great but now my mouse doesn't work.
- Why did the cat chase the mouse? He was in purrrrrrrrrrsuit
- Why was the mouse afraid to cross the road? It saw the cat's eyes!
- What did the mouse say to the cat? "Cheesed to meet ya!"
- Q: When is it a bad time to cross a black cat? A: When you're a mouse!
- Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’! - Are you a cat person or dog person? I am a mouse person.
- A young cat jumped out and scared a mouse and said. . . Just kitten.
- What is a cat's favorite condiment? Mouse-t**...
Cheeky Cat And Mouse Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about cat and mouse you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mouse trap jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cat and mouse pranks.
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"
Three Badass Mice walk into a bar.
Three mice walk into a bar.
The first mouse takes a swig of his beer and says, "I am a badass mouse. In my neighborhood, we have these big mousetraps. I'm so tough that I walk up to them, grab the cheese, catch the bar and press it up and down with one arm while I eat the cheese. I'm a badass mouse."
The second mouse takes a couple swigs of his beer and says, "That's nothin'. In my neighborhood we have that rat-poison stuff. I grab it, throw it in my water and gargle it. It ain't nothin'. I'm a badass mouse."
The third mouse slams his beer, gets up, and starts walking away. The other two ask, "Where are you going?" The third mouse looks at them and says, "I'm going home to screw the cat."
Technology has ruined our kids
A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.
"Davy, what noise does a cow make? "
"It goes moo. "
"Alice, what noise does a cat make? "
"It goes meow. "
"Jamie, what sound does a lamb make? "
"It goes baaa. "
"Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make? "
"Errr.., it goes.. click! "
cat problems
A girl cat asked her boyfriend cat where her mouse stuffed animal was. He says "that was a stuffed animal? I thought it was real so I ate it!"
She responds: "THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE MICE THINGS"
I translated a German joke and hope it's still funny
A man is treated by a psychiatrist because he thinks that he is a mouse. After some weeks of psychiatric counseling he is finally healed and has learned, that he isn't a mouse.
As the man in walks out of the psychiatrists office he sees a cat on the street and runs back to the psychiatrist and screams: "I'm scared! There's a cat on the street!"
The psychiatrist replies "I thought you know now, that you are not a mouse."
The man answers "Yes, I know that, but does the cat know this too?"
Three mice are sitting at a bar
Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.
The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."
The second mouse orders up two shots of sour mash, pounds them both, slams each glass onto the bar, turns to the first mouse, and replies, "Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it up to a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse.
The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this. I've got a date with the cat."
second language
A family of mice were surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
Three Mice Are Bragging to eachother
The first mouse says: I will eat tons of mouse-poison, but it does nothing to me. The second mouse says, well for me a mouse trap is peanuts! I just pull the lever and take the cheese!
The Third says: Oh you two, stop bragging already! Wait... what time is it? Oh, I have to go home, i have to feed the cat!
A cat and a mouse go to heaven
A cat and a mouse got to heaven, after a bit God goes to the mouse and asks "how do you like it up here?" The mouse replies "it's fine but I have a hard time getting around", God then snaps his fingers and gives the mouse a pair a wheels to roll around on. A little later God then goes to the cat and asks "how do you like it up here?" The cat replies "Oh I love it! I never had meals on wheels like this before!"
Three cats live at the football stadium
It was lean pickings one winter but eventually they managed to catch a mouse and are discussing how they will divide it up.
The first cat says "as we live at the football stadium let's divide it by team. I support Liverpool so I will eat it's Liver
"Great idea" says the second cat "I support Hartlepool. I will eat the heart
The third cat says "I support Arsenal, I'm not that hungry thanks"
An Irishman is drinking at a pub when God Himself appears to him
"Pat McGinty! If you don't stop your drinking, I'll make you smaller and smaller until you become a mouse!"
Shocked, Pat rushes home to think. His wife notices his duress and asks him what's wrong. Somberly, Patrick looks up and says "God just appeared to me. He told me we had to get rid of the cat."
Three mice walk into a bar...
After a few drinks, they get into a heated argument about how tough they are.
The first mouse says, When I see a mousetrap, I lay on my back and set it off with my foot. Then, I catch the bar with my teeth and bench press it twenty times to work up an appetite. Only then do I make off with the cheese!
The second mouse says, Oh yeah? Well, whenever I see rat poison, I take it all and grind it into powder. Then when morning comes, I use it to flavor my coffee! It helps me get a nice buzz going for the rest of the day!
The third mouse, checking his watch, sighs, stands up and says I've gotta go. I have a date with a cat.
A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along
A mother mouse and a baby mouse were walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacked them.
The mother mouse goes, "WOOF WOOF!" and the cat runs away.
"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"
My little brother told me this joke. A family of mice were surprised by a big cat
Father Mouse jumped and and said, "Bow-wow!"
The cat ran away
"What the h**... was that, Father?" asked Baby Mouse.
"Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language."
Barking mouse
The cat closes in upon them as the terrified baby mice back into the corner with no where to run. Suddenly, out in a distance behind the cat, mama mouse began barking "woof, woof!". Caught off guard the cat immediately turned tail and ran. Seeing that the coast is clear, mama mouse came up to her babies and gathered them up. Having made sure that all her babies are accounted for, she said, "see children, that's why it's so important to learn a 2nd language."
Mice
A family of mice were out walking, and were suddenly surprised by a large cat. Father Mouse stood his ground, drew himself up to his full height, and shouted BOW-WOW-WOW!!! at the cat. The cat, alarmed, ran off.
The small mice were very impressed. That was fantastic, Dad! How did you do that?
That, son, explains Father Mouse, demonstrates the value of learning a second language.
Cat Attack
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse goes, "Bark!" and the cat runs away. "See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"
