The Best 32 Casually Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Casually jokes. There are some casually man jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these casually suggestively puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Casually Jokes and Puns
A crime in the park
A man walked into his house, and casually mentioned to his wife that he had seen a kid napping in the park. The wife was frantic, "What did you do about it?!" The man said, "Nothing, I let him sleep."
My favorite golf joke
Two guys are out golfing and a big thunderstorm rolls in. The first guy packs up his gear and starts running for the clubhouse when he sees his buddy take his 1-iron out of his bag and hold it above his head while casually walking in.
First guy says, "What are you doing?! Are you trying to get yourself killed? Don't you see all the lightning?"
"Don't worry," says the second guy, "even God can't hit a 1-iron."
Two armed guards were standing at a street corner...
They see a man walking casually on the other side of the street. The first guard raises his rifle and shoots the pedestrian, killing him instantly.
The second guard says to the first, "What was that for?"
"He was out past curfew." Replied the first guard.
"What do you mean?" Said the second guard, "It's not curfew for another hour."
"Yeah, but I knew the guy," Said the first guard, "He could never have made it home in time."
Peeing !
A drunken man was casually peeing into a drinking fountain in the park.
A police officer comes up to him and yells frantically.
"What do you think you're doing. There's a public toilet fifty meters from here!"
The man, amazed, yells back.
"What do you think I have, a hose?
I was just casually strolling down the street...
and suddenly when I looked up, I saw a baseball getting bigger and bigger, and I was wondering why that was.
Then it hit me.
OB-GYN
My uncle is a very accomplished OB-GYN. He is also incredibly humble, when asked what he does for a living, he casually responds, 'I'm in the cervix industry. '
A Muslim and a Catholic priest walk into a bar.
The two start talking casually about their respective religions. The Muslim says, "I believe that when I die, Allah will bless me with 72 virgins."
The priest's eyes get wide. "Really? That would be awesome, but unfortunately the church can only have 3 altar boys at a time."
Guy tip:
If your girlfriend has a really annoying friend, don't tell her how bothersome she is or to stop being friends with her. Just casually mention how attractive she is.
Money or Sex
A woman preparing to leave her husband casually informs him, "I'm going to become a hooker. I can make $400 for what I give you for free."
"I'm coming with you," the man replies. "I want to see you live on $800 a year."
Drive through counter was being robbed...
While she was held at gunpoint, a cop car shows up at the counter.
Cops : Can we have 2 burgers.
Lady : give the burgers casually and passes a note that says "we have two armed men inside"
Cops : *reads the note* ofcourse they are two armed, how can one armed men make burgers O__o
I find it hard to dress casually.
I always get emotionally involved.
You can explore casually asks reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean casually idly dad jokes. There are also casually puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Smoking seriously harms you and others around you
So smoke casually for the sake of public health
A man stands, chain smoking at a bus stop...
A man stands, chain smoking at a bus stop.
The woman standing next to him says "Hey, don't you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn't you see the giant warning on the box?!"
"That's OK..." says the guy, puffing casually, "I'm a programmer"
"So? What's that got to do with anything?"
"Errors are serious, warnings are nothing...".
Nickelodeon - Casually ask your daughter who that actress' is...
Then take your laptop to the bathroom.
Sitting in a bar having a drink with a friend..
I casually pointed at two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and said "thats us in ten years"
He said "thats a mirror you dipshit"
Braces at 22 isn't so bad
When I talk to people and they notice my braces I just casually say "I'm researching and method acting a roll for Jaws from James Bond".
A lady calls her butler into her room and says, "Jeeves, take off my dress"
He casually says, "Yes, Madam", and removes the dress. Then she says, "Jeeves, take off my underwear". Again, he says, "Yes, Madam" and removes the undergarment. She then says, "Jeeves, take off my bra". Again, with no hesitation he says, "Yes, Madam" and removes the bra. Then she says, "Now out of my sight! If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired!"
What do you call Goku trying to casually explain something?
He's just Saiyan
Johnny's girlfriend was in labor
Johnny's girlfriend was in labor with their first child. She was shouting out, Get this out of me? Give me the drugs.
She looked at him and said, You did this to me you *******!
He casually replied, If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your *** but you said, 'it'll be too painful!'.
I fell asleep in biology class today...
The teacher woke me up and I casually told him that I was studying my inner eyelid.
Love is so confusing...
The word "love" is thrown around so casually, no wonder it's a confusing concept. I mean, I love my girlfriend, my mother, and a good lasagna but I'd really only have sex with two of those.
A couple mountainsclimbers where walking on a glacier.
One says too the other:"look my tour guide fell in that ravine last time I was up here". The other mountainclimber looks perplexed. "Why do you mention that so casually"? The first mountainclimber shrugs and says:"well it was already missing a couple pages".
A guy goes fishing with Jesus in a small boat.
In the excitement of bringing in a fish one of the paddles gets dislodged and starts to float away. No problem I'll go get it says Jesus, and he just steps out and walks over to where it is and picks it up casually walking back to the boat.
Later his friends are asking him about their time on the water curious about his day with Jesus.
Well it's the craziest thing he says, I don't think he can swim!!!
"Kneel before me!" demands a portly king. All present kneel, except for one peasant who remains standing casually. Outraged, the king points his scepter at this peasant and barks, "You there, why do you not kneel!?" The peasant responds,
"Considering how long it'd take you even just to get out of that chair, there's clearly no need to rush."
So a man casually walked into a bar when he was stopped...
...by a brick wall and broke his nose.
Three elderly ladies are sitting on a park bench in Central Park. Suddenly, a man dressed in an overcoat appears from behind a tree. The man casually opens his coat and flashes the unsuspecting ladies.
Surprised, the first lady had a stroke. The second lady also had a stroke. The third lady, though, declined to touch it.
A favorite joke from my Dad
Eric walks into a plant nursery. Surrounded by lush potted plants, he selects an attractive hibiscus and proceeds to casually eat the leaves from its branches. A concerned salesperson walks up to him quickly.
"May I help you?" The salesperson asks.
"No thanks," answers Eric, "I'm just browsing."
Two muffins are sitting in an oven.
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin looks over at the second, and casually says, "hot in here, isn't it?"
The second muffin replies, "holy sh*t, a talking muffin!"
A panda walks into a bar, orders a burger, downs it in a few bites, pulls out a gun and shoots two bullets into the roof.
On his way to the door the waiter exclaims why the f*ck did you do that?!
To which the tired looking panda rolls his eyes and tosses a torn up wildlife manual across the counter, i'm a panda, look it up... before casually walking out the exit
After finding the relevant chapter the waiter reads:
Panda: Large black and white bear-like mammal; eats, shoots and leaves.
Dracula was casually walking down the street for a late night stroll.
All of a sudden, a mozzarella stick flies through the air and hits him on the side of the head. He looks around slightly perplexed, but doesn't think too much of it.
A few meters further on and a chicken wing smacks him in the nuts. As he doubles over in pain, out of nowhere, he is drenched in hot nacho cheese.
He looks to the sky with a raised fist and shouts, "Curse you Buffet the Vampire Slayer!".
I asked an 747 pilot how often those things crash...
I once asked the pilot of a 747 as I was getting on, how often those things crash, he casually replied:
"Usaly just once"
A patient walks into an optometrist's office.
The optometrist starts the eye exam and casually asks her if there's any particular reason she came in for a checkup.
"Doctor, I think am having hallucinations. Every time I open my eyes, I see really dark things. Evil. Malice. Hatred. Plague. I am seeing the worst in everything. Nothing looks like it used to. It's as if everything I see is shrouded in darkness."
The optometrist sits back from the patient, confused.
"That's interesting," he said, "because from what I can tell, you see 20/20."
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the casually peeks jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working casually lazily piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.