The Best 57 Castle Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Castle jokes. There are some castle stronghold jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these castle guinevere puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Castle Jokes and Puns
There once was a princess who lived alone with her cat in a castle.
Being her only companion, she loved the cat very much. Little did she know, the cat was actually a handsome prince that had be cursed to live his life as a feline.
Seeing how much the princess loved the cat, the witch that had cursed him turned him back into a handsome prince, so he could spend the rest of his life with the princess.
Upon seeing the handsome prince, he said, "I bet you wish I wasn't fixed now, huh?"
How do you make a plumber sad?
You tell him that the princess is in another castle.
The person who took my sneakers while I was on the jumpy castle at McDonald's
Please grow up.
What do you do after you make a rough castle on the beach?
You sand it!
Why is Paula Deen's restaurant called "Paula Deen's Kitchen"?
Because the name "White Castle" was already taken
I made this joke!
One day the king feels the urge to examine his castle dungeons and ensure everything is running smoothly. His examination is going well when he runs across the guy operating the rack. After a bit of conversation the king asks how the rack operator's job is going to which he replies "well, it's just one long 'knight' after another."
A knight and his men return to their castle...
...after a long hard day of fighting.
"How are we faring?" asks the king.
"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."
"What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"
"Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now."
How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle?
He had *bean stalking* her.
What do I have in common with Franz Kafka?
Neither of us have finished The Castle.
Why is it dark in Skeletor's castle?
Because He-Man has the power.
What do you call a chess blunder where you lose your castle?
A Rook-ey mistake.
You can explore castle cumcised reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean castle reign dad jokes. There are also castle puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom..
Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom.
The other three guys start talking about how succesful their sons are.
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a cardealership and just gave his best friend a Ferarri.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a castle
Guy 4 walks out of the bathroom and walks over to the other 3 guys
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are
Guy 4:Well, my son is a Gay stripper
Guy 2: You must be so dissappointed with what he's done with his life
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet, and a caste from his three boyfriends.
How do whores in Westeros get into the castle?
Hodor.
Bouncy Castle Pun.
[kids party]
"This bouncy castle is twice the price of last year"
Dad no
"That's.."
Please no dad
"..Inflation for you"
*kids start crying*
A doctor checks on two roommates in an insane asylum...
He walks into their room to find one man hanging upside down from the ceiling fan by his feet. The other man sits below him, putting together wooden blocks.
The doctor asks, "How are you two doing?"
The man on the floor says, "Oh, I'm building a castle. Don't mind that guy up there, he's okay but a little crazy, thinks he's a lightbulb."
"Well, let's get him down before he hurts himself."
The sitting man stares back in shock. "And work in the *dark*?!"
What happens when Mario parks his car outside the wrong castle?
He gets Toad
What do a coffee shop and a Japanese castle siege have in common?
Baristas
My granma got my granpa a new pair of pants. When I asked him how they fit, he said, "like a cheap castle".
When I looked confused, he explained, "no ballroom"
My grandfather got new pants the other day. I asked him how they fit...
He said "Like a cheap castle."
Seeing the confused look on my face, he elaborated, saying, "No ball room."
Ugh, these new pants feel like a cheaply made castle.
No ballroom.
When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally.
Classic rook-y mistake.
What is the rain's favorite medieval reenactment?
Storming a castle.
If the shoe fits, wear it...
Unless you found it near a bouncy castle, you creep.
So my girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess.
So I put her in a castle and sent some Italian plummer to find her.
Went to buy a bouncy castle today and it cost twice as much as last year
Guess that's inflation for you
In an old castle, a lady says to the guide...
"I've heard that this place is haunted. I'm so scared!"
The guide says: "I've been working here for 558 years and I've never seen any ghosts..."
They say I have an inflated Ego.
I don't know what they mean. Got an inflatable castle for my kids,
and I guess they're just envious that I'm such a great father.
I made my wife's dreams come true and we were married in a castle.
But you sure wouldn't have known it from the look on her face as we were bouncing around during the ceremony.
A knight comes to the royal castle with a bag and asks for king's attention
He enters, and says "Your Majesty, I kept my word. Here's the head of the dragon!" and takes the head of the dragon out of the bag.
A royal advisor brings a bag to the king. The king replies "Well, then, I kept my word too. Here's the hand of the princess!"
A tourist is travelling down the Rhine
He books himself into an old castle that has been converted into a hotel. Once he enters, he has the creepiest feeling come over him. He asked the lady a reception if they have ghosts in the hotel. She laughs and says, " I have been here for 300 years and never seen one"
A joke for Halloween
A group of tourist is visiting the remnants of an ancient castle. One lady sais to their guide:
-I'm afraid. I think there might be ghosts here!
-Don't worry. I'm living here for 300 years but I've never seen any ghosts.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess
So I used her as bait to lure an Italian plumber into my castle
Haunted castle
A young American tourist went on a guided tour of a creepy old castle in England. "How did you enjoy it?" The guide asked when it was over.
"It was great," the tourist replied, "but I was afraid I was going to see a ghost in some of those dark passageways."
"No need to worry," said the guide "I've never seen a ghost in all the time I've been here."
"How long is that?" the tourist asked.
"Oh, about 300 years."
A King is being admired by his people...
They bring him food, bathe him, protect his castle, and all he has to do is shake a paw every once and a while..
Why modern man jeans feels like a cheaply made castle?
No ballroom.
The tiny door to the magic castle was barely big enough to crawl through. It was carved with a half-lion, half-eagle, and guarded by a fearsome raven that would only allow you to pass if you breathed on its foot...
So basically you had to huff n puff on the raven claw then slither in the griffon door.
To the person stealing my shoes while I`ve been in the inflatable castle
Grow up!
I live in a bouncy castle.
The rent is high, but that's just due to inflation.
What is the name of a medieval castle for stoners?
Fort Wenty
A group of people are touring an old, 16th-century castle one day.
The tour guide seems to be doing a great job, explaining things in detail, when one of the tourists asks a question.
"I heard from a friend that this castle was haunted! Is that true?"
The tour guide, without hesitation, says "Oh no, I've been here for 300 years and I've never seen any paranormal activity."
I want to live in a bouncy castle, but...
the price of inflation would be way too big
The castle in Tallinn was destroyed yesterday
It was a huge loss
Did you hear about Dracula's castle?
They revamped it.
The Arizona Wildlife World Zoo refused to euthanize the panther that killed a woman who jumped into its enclosure to take a selfie...
...making it the first black entity to ever successfully invoke the Castle Doctrine/Stand Your Ground against a white entity.
What sound does an airplane make in a bouncy castle?
Boeing, Boeing, Boeing
Why was the castle prostitute tired all the time?
She worked knights.
I once had an uncle who fell off the roof of a castle.
He didn't die, though. He got de-moat-ed.
Why couldn't Jack, from Jack and the Beanstalk, go up to the castle in the sky anymore?
He's already bean there
How is a bouncy castle and an unvaxxed kid alike
Both stop being fun when a nail touches them
Villager 1: Flee for your lives! The mad scientist in the castle turned a tiny lizard into a monster that's destroying everything in its path!
Villager 2: Meh, why bother. We're doomed from the gecko.
My friends went to Transylvania to see if vampires really exist
That's ridiculous. I've lived there in a castle for 700 years and I've never seen one.
Why was the bouncy castle so expensive?
Due to the cost of inflation
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Homes are so expensive in my area I had to move into my friend's bouncy castle.
The rent's pretty expensive, but it's mostly due to inflation.
What has wings but cannot fly….
A castle.
What do you call a castle of idiots?
A kingdumb
A boss and his two workers had a genie appear before them...
The genie in his traditional style offered three wishes to them, so they decided to split the three wishes amongst them. The first worker said:
"I wish for a party yacht with hundreds of beautiful girls crawling all over me."
Poof, and he was gone. Seeing this, the second worker eagerly said:
"I wish for a castle with hundreds of staff and a limitless credit card."
Poof, and he too was gone. Scratching his stubble, the boss sighed.
"I want those two goddamn loafers back in the office before lunch break ends!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the castle crusade jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working castle shah piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.