Castle Jokes

121 castle jokes and hilarious castle puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about castle that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Enjoy a good laugh with these hilarious castle jokes! Whether you're looking for a joke related to a sand castle, a white castle, a jumping castle, or even a castle from the monarchy, you'll be sure to find something to make you chuckle. From puns about princes to zany jokes about circumcision, these castle jokes will bring a smile to your face.

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Funniest Castle Short Jokes

Short castle jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The castle humour may include short isle jokes also.

  1. My favourite childhood memory with my grandad is when i was building a sand castle with him... ...until my mom took the urn back.
  2. My favourite childhood memory is building sand castles with my grandfather Until my mother took the urn from me
  3. My fondest Childhood memory was making Sand Castles with Grandma. Until my mother hid the Urn.
  4. My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess So I used her as bait to lure an Italian plumber into my castle
  5. My granma got my granpa a new pair of pants. When I asked him how they fit, he said, "like a cheap castle". When I looked confused, he explained, "no ballroom"
  6. This girl told me she wanted to be treated like a princess So I cursed her and locked her in a castle
  7. My favorite childhood memory was building sand castles with my grandpa. Then my mom hid the urn from me.
  8. I made my wife's dreams come true and we were married in a castle. But you sure wouldn't have known it from the look on her face as we were bouncing around during the ceremony.
  9. When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally. Classic rook-y mistake.
  10. Went to buy a bouncy castle today and it cost twice as much as last year Guess that's inflation for you

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Castle One Liners

Which castle one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with castle? I can suggest the ones about cape and court.

  1. I like my woman like I like my castles Bouncy.
  2. The first time I played chess, I thought the castles moved diagonally. Rookie mistake.
  3. Why was the bouncy castle so expensive? Due to the cost of inflation
  4. The castle in Tallinn was destroyed yesterday It was a huge loss
  5. How do you make a plumber sad? You tell him that the princess is in another castle.
  6. Ugh, these new pants feel like a cheaply made castle. No ballroom.
  7. What sound does an airplane make in a bouncy castle? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing
  8. Why modern man jeans feels like a cheaply made castle? No ballroom.
  9. I used to love making sand castles with my grandfather But then my mom took his urn away
  10. Canadian castles... They really aren't my fort-eh.
  11. What do you call a castle of idiots? A kingdumb
  12. What has wings but cannot fly…. A castle.
  13. What do a coffee shop and a Japanese castle siege have in common? Baristas
  14. What is the rain's favorite medieval reenactment? Storming a castle.
  15. Why is it dark in Skeletor's castle? Because He-Man has the power.

Bouncy Castle Jokes

Here is a list of funny bouncy castle jokes and even better bouncy castle puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Homes are so expensive in my area I had to move into my friend's bouncy castle. The rent's pretty expensive, but it's mostly due to inflation.
  • How is a bouncy castle and an unvaxxed kid alike Both stop being fun when a nail touches them
  • I live in a bouncy castle. The rent is high, but that's just due to inflation.
  • I want to live in a bouncy castle, but... the price of inflation would be way too big
  • If the shoe fits, wear it... Unless you found it near a bouncy castle, you creep.
  • Bouncy Castle Pun. [kids party]
    "This bouncy castle is twice the price of last year"
    Dad no
    Please no dad
    "..Inflation for you"
    *kids start crying*
  • What do you get when you cross Kate Upton with royalty? A bouncy castle.
  • Did you hear about the guy who lives in a bouncy castle? When interviewed about it, he said the rent had become more expensive as of late... but it's mostly due to inflation.
  • My wife said she was going for a tattoo and asked If I had any ideas for her - apparently BOUNCY CASTLE FOR HIRE isn't funny to her.
  • Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day... It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.

Sand Castle Jokes

Here is a list of funny sand castle jokes and even better sand castle puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you do after you make a rough castle on the beach? You sand it!
  • A husband and wife moved from one sand castle house to another The wife divorced him the next day. She was furious he had another beach.
  • A wave came in and washed away the sand castle I spent hours making.. but it's ok, they weren't my sediments exactly
  • What do you call a White Castle in Iraq? Sand Castle.
  • Why does it take so long for the queen to vacuum her castle? She lives in a sand castle
Castle joke, Why does it take so long for the queen to vacuum her castle?

White Castle Jokes

Here is a list of funny white castle jokes and even better white castle puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why is Paula Deen's restaurant called "Paula Deen's Kitchen"? Because the name "White Castle" was already taken
  • I'm in a long distance relationship with White Castle. Please come to Los Angeles. I miss you..

Jumping Castle Jokes

Here is a list of funny jumping castle jokes and even better jumping castle puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a security guard in a jumping castle? A Bouncer
Castle joke, What do you call a security guard in a jumping castle?

Howlingly Hilarious Castle Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about castle you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean villa jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make castle pranks.

There once was a princess who lived alone with her cat in a castle.

Being her only companion, she loved the cat very much. Little did she know, the cat was actually a handsome prince that had be cursed to live his life as a feline.
Seeing how much the princess loved the cat, the witch that had cursed him turned him back into a handsome prince, so he could spend the rest of his life with the princess.
Upon seeing the handsome prince, he said, "I bet you wish I wasn't fixed now, huh?"

The person who took my sneakers while I was on the jumpy castle at McDonald's

Please grow up.

The prince, after a long and arduous battle, slew the dragon. He then ascends the mountain to an ominous castle holding the damsel. The prince makes his way to her room to rescue her. He enters and asks

What's your wifi password?

I made this joke!

One day the king feels the urge to examine his castle dungeons and ensure everything is running smoothly. His examination is going well when he runs across the guy operating the rack. After a bit of conversation the king asks how the rack operator's job is going to which he replies "well, it's just one long 'knight' after another."

A knight and his men return to their castle...

...after a long hard day of fighting.
"How are we faring?" asks the king.
"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."
"What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"
"Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now."

How did Jack know exactly where to find the goose in the giant's castle?

He had *bean stalking* her.

What do I have in common with Franz Kafka?

Neither of us have finished The Castle.

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What do you call a chess blunder where you lose your castle?

A Rook-ey mistake.

Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom..

Four guys are at a high school reunion and one of them goes to the restroom.
The other three guys start talking about how succesful their sons are.
Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a cardealership and just gave his best friend a Ferarri.
Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son owns an airliner and just gave his best friend a private jet
Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a castle
Guy 4 walks out of the bathroom and walks over to the other 3 guys
Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about
Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are
Guy 4:Well, my son is a Gay stripper
Guy 2: You must be so dissappointed with what he's done with his life
Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a Ferrari, a jet, and a caste from his three boyfriends.

My grandma bought my grandpa a new pair of pants.

When she asked how they fit, he responded "like a cheap castle. There's no ball room."

How do w**... in Westeros get into the castle?


A doctor checks on two roommates in an insane asylum...

He walks into their room to find one man hanging upside down from the ceiling fan by his feet. The other man sits below him, putting together wooden blocks.
The doctor asks, "How are you two doing?"
The man on the floor says, "Oh, I'm building a castle. Don't mind that guy up there, he's okay but a little crazy, thinks he's a lightbulb."
"Well, let's get him down before he hurts himself."
The sitting man stares back in shock. "And work in the *dark*?!"

What happens when Mario parks his car outside the wrong castle?

He gets Toad

How long does it take to build a castle?

A Fortnight

A prince makes his way to a castle where he hopes to find the sleeping beauty...

...he indeed finds her, still asleep, but to his surprise there are already 3 other princes in her chamber apparently taking turns in b**... her. He asks what is going on, to which one of them replies "You can join right in, but make sure not to kiss her!"

My grandfather got new pants the other day. I asked him how they fit...

He said "Like a cheap castle."
Seeing the confused look on my face, he elaborated, saying, "No ball room."

A man's home is his castle! a manor of speaking

Why did Prince Charles leave Windsor Castle and move to an alley?

Because: Camilla Parker Bowles.

So my girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess.

So I put her in a castle and sent some Italian plummer to find her.

Why didn't the sun ever shine on the castle?

It was full of knights.

In an old castle, a lady says to the guide...

"I've heard that this place is haunted. I'm so scared!"
The guide says: "I've been working here for 558 years and I've never seen any ghosts..."

They say I have an inflated Ego.

I don't know what they mean. Got an inflatable castle for my kids,
and I guess they're just envious that I'm such a great father.

I recently visited Dracula's castle...

I should've went before the sun came up to meet him.

I just found out that Beyonce's father was Roy Castle

Can't see her taking his name, though.

A knight comes to the royal castle with a bag and asks for king's attention

He enters, and says "Your Majesty, I kept my word. Here's the head of the dragon!" and takes the head of the dragon out of the bag.
A royal advisor brings a bag to the king. The king replies "Well, then, I kept my word too. Here's the hand of the princess!"

A tourist is travelling down the Rhine

He books himself into an old castle that has been converted into a hotel. Once he enters, he has the creepiest feeling come over him. He asked the lady a reception if they have ghosts in the hotel. She laughs and says, " I have been here for 300 years and never seen one"

A joke for Halloween

A group of tourist is visiting the remnants of an ancient castle. One lady sais to their guide:
-I'm afraid. I think there might be ghosts here!
-Don't worry. I'm living here for 300 years but I've never seen any ghosts.

What do you call a defender of a castle who is too weak?

A fortnight

Haunted castle

A young American tourist went on a guided tour of a creepy old castle in England. "How did you enjoy it?" The guide asked when it was over.
"It was great," the tourist replied, "but I was afraid I was going to see a ghost in some of those dark passageways."
"No need to worry," said the guide "I've never seen a ghost in all the time I've been here."
"How long is that?" the tourist asked.
"Oh, about 300 years."

What's the s**... Studio Ghibli movie?

Bowels Moving Castle

What is grey, has wings and is a terrible swimmer?

A castle.

Why did Mario find Koopa after he kidnapped the Princess and moved his castle so quickly?

Because Koopa forgot to erase his Bowser History.

A King is being admired by his people...

They bring him food, bathe him, protect his castle, and all he has to do is shake a paw every once and a while..

The tiny door to the magic castle was barely big enough to crawl through. It was carved with a half-lion, half-eagle, and guarded by a fearsome raven that would only allow you to pass if you breathed on its foot...

So basically you had to huff n puff on the raven claw then slither in the griffon door.

During the reign of Henry the VIII, what was the favorite game at Windsor Castle?

Queen for a day!

To the person stealing my shoes while I`ve been in the inflatable castle

Grow up!

What is the name of a medieval castle for stoners?

Fort Wenty

A group of people are touring an old, 16th-century castle one day.

The tour guide seems to be doing a great job, explaining things in detail, when one of the tourists asks a question.

"I heard from a friend that this castle was haunted! Is that true?"

The tour guide, without hesitation, says "Oh no, I've been here for 300 years and I've never seen any paranormal activity."

Did you know all castles had 1 major flaw

The enemy could get in through the gift shop

Did you hear about Dracula's castle?

They revamped it.

Why didn't the castle cut the grass

It was already moat.

The Arizona Wildlife World Zoo refused to euthanize the panther that killed a woman who jumped into its enclosure to take a selfie...

...making it the first black entity to ever successfully invoke the Castle Doctrine/Stand Your Ground against a white entity.

A medieval worker in England was fixing the fence on the top of the castle

He decided to take a break because he was hungry.
Two knights practicing combat nearby. One of them accidentally made a mistake and got shoved into the unfixed fence.
When the fence broke, he forcefully fell down the long distance. When he got down, in his dying breath, he screamed "THIS ISN'T EVEN REPOSTED!"

Frank Castle was framed for the m**... of wife and kids. Supposedly he killed them with terrible dad jokes.....

That's why he's called the Pun-isher

Why was the castle p**... tired all the time?

She worked knights.

I took the kids to the beach

So yesterday I decided to take the kids to the beach. Well after a while the kids decided they wanted to build a sand castle. My oldest was the natural leader of the group and was directing the others where to put the towers and such. Well the oldest self assigns the task of digging the moat around the sand castle. I said ok buddy, but don't screw up or you'll be demoted.

Why did the king order his new castle be built in the evening?

For the night knights!

I once had an uncle who fell off the roof of a castle.

He didn't die, though. He got de-moat-ed.

Why couldn't Jack, from Jack and the Beanstalk, go up to the castle in the sky anymore?

He's already bean there

Villager 1: Flee for your lives! The mad scientist in the castle turned a tiny lizard into a monster that's destroying everything in its path!

Villager 2: Meh, why bother. We're doomed from the gecko.

My friends went to Transylvania to see if vampires really exist

That's ridiculous. I've lived there in a castle for 700 years and I've never seen one.

Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?

They prefer Wight Castle.

A boss and his two workers had a genie appear before them...

The genie in his traditional style offered three wishes to them, so they decided to split the three wishes amongst them. The first worker said:
"I wish for a party yacht with hundreds of beautiful girls crawling all over me."
p**..., and he was gone. Seeing this, the second worker eagerly said:
"I wish for a castle with hundreds of staff and a limitless credit card."
p**..., and he too was gone. Scratching his stubble, the boss sighed.
"I want those two g**... loafers back in the office before lunch break ends!"

Castle joke, A boss and his two workers had a genie appear before them...

jokes about castle