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Castaway Jokes

9 castaway jokes and hilarious castaway puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about castaway that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your next stay on the beach or at sea a little bit more fun with these hilarious castaway jokes! Get the party started with puns about Wilson from Castaway, aloft and on an atoll, and the wonders of cysteine. Laugh out loud and enjoy some good old-fashioned fun.

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Charming Humor Castaway Jokes with Loads of Fun

What is a good castaway joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Most people don't realize that the actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun: Maverick...

...is the same actor who played Wilson in the 2000 movie "Castaway".

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A German, a Russian, and a Syrian are in a life raft ...

The raft is slowly sinking and the 3 castaways are afraid it will sink before they are rescued, so they start looking around for things they can dispose of to lighten the load.
The Russian takes a case of fine v**..., throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty of that in my country."
Seeing the Russian's generous gesture, the Syrian takes a bag of fine hibiscus tea, throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty in my country."
Finally, the German, seeing that it is his turn, throws the Syrian overboard and says, "We have plenty of those in my country."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Me before quarantine, watching Castaway: Really... He's best friends with a ball??

**Me, during quarantine:** Look at you go Roomba, you crazy son of a b**...!

A ship sailing past a remote island spots a man who had been stranded there for several years.

The captain goes to shore and notices three huts.
What's the first hut for? He asks?
That's my house says the castaway.
what's the second hut for?
That's my church.
And the third?
Oh, that? That's the church I used to go to.

A ship discovers a lost island in the South Pacific

To their surprise, the ship's company find the remains of a shipwreck there, a couple of decades old, and a single survivor, a Welsh mariner who has busied himself building an exact replica of a Welsh village, complete with a town hall, a pub, a rugby pitch, and two chapels.
"...Two chapels?" asks the ship's captain, and the castaway's face darkens as he nods in the direction of one of the chapels: "That's the one I don't go to."

Ricky Gervais Tim Allen joke.

“What can I say about our next two presenters?” Ricky Gervais asked.
“The first is an actor, producer and director whose movies have grossed over $3.5bn at the box office. He’s won two Academy Awards and three Golden Globes for his powerful and varied performances, starring in such films as Philadelphia, Forrest Gump, Castaway, Apollo 13 and Saving Private Ryan. The other... is Tim Allen.”

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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A husband comes home drunk..

His wife shouts: "So, you're drunk again, you castaway!"
The man responds: " Aww, shut your mouth, im punished enough to see you double!"

What do you call a broken arm which has healed?

Castaway

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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Castaway should have been titled

Casterbate. We all know what he was doing most the time.

Castaway joke, Castaway should have been titled

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Castaway joke, Castaway should have been titled

Castaway joke, Castaway should have been titled