Following is our collection of funny Cast jokes. There are some cast movie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cast leg cast puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Because they don't have access to black magic.
I wouldn't shoot heroin.
He kept getting type cast.
A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-alec punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence ... He had no trouble with discipline that year.
Kick the altar boy in the chin.
They say, "Whoever goes into the woods and converts the most dangerous animal, wins". So a week goes by and they all return. The Pastor comes back with a rattlesnake and says "He goes to church every week!". The priest comes back with cougar and says "His first he's getting confirmed next month!". The Rabbi comes back in a full body cast and says " You know, I probably shouldn't have tried to circumcise a bear."
They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.
Unix.
The seafood was fresh off the grill. Keanu Reeves tasted it and exclaimed "What is this! It's like charcoal!"
The cook turned and said "What if I told you...that's why they call me Laurence Fishburne"
^I'll ^see ^myself ^out
A Juand
Shaking Bad.
You can explore cast protagonist reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cast remake dad jokes. There are also cast puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I was tryin' ta figure out what type a genre show it be.
I thought, "It might be a drama," but me life isn't sad enough.
I thought, "It might be an action tale," but alas, 'tis too boring.
"Then, perhaps, it be a comedy," I thought, but me life isn't funny, so I cast that idea overboard.
"Well," I thought, "it might be British."
There will now be a new Star Wars cast.
Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...
Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'
Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque'
Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'
The doctor put a cast on the foot and told the man to take it easy. The man asked the doctor, "Will I be able to play violin?"
Confused, the doctor replied, "Yes, you should be able to play the violin."
The man said, "Neat! I've never been able to play it before!"
I didn't make the cast.
But I'm only attracted to cast iron.
I've tried dating teflon, but it never sticks.
I guess it's true what they say:
"Once you go black, you never go back"
Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said Can I have a word?
When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders, do I punch the ballot with my sickle or my hammer?
It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying.
Obligatory
It becomes a eunuchcorn.
Kick his sister's jaw in.
I guess you could say I'm pansexual
It still had a black guy as one of the main cast.
Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.
"This woman was found committing adultery and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.
"Wait," yelled Jesus, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, Dad...," Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"
Kick the alter boy in the jaw
It's the one where another monster actually breaks one of Godzilla's legs.
I can't remember the name of the movie, but it has a huge cast.
I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.
I mean, the last time people were this upset about something an actor did to a Republican in a theater, the Civil War had just ended.
The police charged me with carrying a congealed weapon
Because she never let me come on her face before.
Because Lisa Kudrow.
He will be a hit at Spanish parties!
"I've heard that this place is haunted. I'm so scared!"
The guide says: "I've been working here for 558 years and I've never seen any ghosts..."
You kick his sister in the jaw
Kinda like how she had won all those primaries before anyone got to cast a vote!
They had a great cast
Casting The Rock is a boulder decision.
Fortunately, he could still make the cast.
yet they still can't cast a vote on what they want for dinner
So I wrote, "Last warning. You have a week to get the rest of the money together. Next time we won't be so nice."
Punch an altar boy in the back of the head
Just as the crowd was about to start throwing rocks, Jesus walks up and says "let him who is without sin cast the first stone." Nobody moves, but then a stone comes flying out from the crowd and hits Mary right in the face. Jesus turns to see who threw the stone and says "I told you not to bother me when I'm working mother!"
I'm not left handed but i'll have to make do until the doctor removes the cast
Because they let he who is without sin cast the first stone!
None of them could use an oar, but Lisa Kudrow.
Sorry.
They said, It depends. Wakanda pizza?
Expecto Petroleum
He asked the doctor, "Will I be able to play piano as soon as the cast comes off?"
"Of course!" said the doctor.
The man replied, "Great. I never could before."
Because every play has a cast.
I hope they cast a black Superman. It would nice for a brother to finally be faster than a speeding bullet.
Credits:Someones Tweet
...Than when you're signing a cast :)
They are doing their part to combat the heroine epidemic.
Father, my life is terrible, I have so many problems.
The priest tells him that he needs an exorcism to cast the devil out of his life.
Can't do that father, I have 3 chidren with her.
It was a huge loss
An awesome cast
But now I can look back and laugh.
Buzz Light.
Because nobody likes an electricity bill.
She worked knights.
Because you don't have the balls to do it a second time.
Because every play has a cast.
Old Hobbits Die Hard.
I dont have a samsung tv in my house.
They cast smells
He didn't know which one to talk about first.
I guess it's because they don't have access to black magic...
No way would she have done that if she were still alive.
Get whale soon"
Because every play needs a cast.
I like my women like my cast iron cookware.
Black, thick and covered in oil.
It's so that they'll end up in a cast.
The crowd is about to stone her, but Jesus steps in front of them and says "Verily, the one who is among you that is without sin may cast the first stone!"
All of them let their hand sink, bow their heads in shame. There suddenly, from the back, a stone comes flying, hitting the woman squarely in the face. Furiously, Jesus storms through the crowd to see who dared to, who thinks himself to be without sin. He finds the thrower, grimaces and stomps his feet.
"Stop doing this! You always do that, always you have to embarrass me in front of my friends, MOM!"
I mean... they're already in a cast.
If I had the balls to do it
They were fine, because Lisa Kudrow
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
I ran into a friend of mine who looked roughed up, with a shiner and an arm in a cast. I was aghast and asked him what happened.
He: Dude, don't ask. I was on the bus, minding my own business, when the gal sitting next to me stood up as her stop was approaching, and I noticed her skirt was stuck in her buttcrack. Thought I'd do her a favor and pull the skirt back out, but she punched me in the face.
Me: That sucks, yo! What's with the arm?
He: Oh, that was for trying to make peace by pushing the skirt back in .
It had a great cast in it.
What do you call fishing for whales?
A Pod Cast.....
Gotcha :)
Because every play needs a cast.
I tell my neighbor politely a few times to keep his dog in his yard, but every evening I come out to a fresh pile.
I tell him to clean it up, but he never does, so I give him an ultimatum: The next time your dog comes into my yard I am going to cook him.
The next day, sure as anything, the dog shits in my yard. So I grab the little nuisance and kennel him as I throw a big steak on my cast iron skillet set over a fire.
My neighbor comes out, horrified, and says I had an over-reaction.
I point to the crust on the steak and say No, this is just a my-yard reaction.
The cast will have a FeMale.
But model trains never eat and real trains are always CHEW CHEW CHEW-ing
Monica, Joey and Chandler were left behind because in real life David is a Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow.
He made the cast.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cast flung jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cast broken arm cast piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.