The Best 87 Cast Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cast jokes. There are some cast movie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cast leg cast puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cast Jokes and Puns

If the Klu Klux Klan leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them?

Because they don't have access to black magic.

What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore?

I wouldn't shoot heroin.

Did you guys hear about the C++ developer that wanted to become a famous actor?

He kept getting type cast.

Cast joke, Did you guys hear about the C++ developer that wanted to become a famous actor?

No problems

A former Sergeant , having served his time with the Marine Corps, took a new job as a school teacher, but just before the school year started he injured his back.
He was required to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body.
Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable. On the first day of class, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in the school. The smart-alec punks, having already heard the new teacher was a former Marine, were leery of him and decided to see how tough he really was, before trying any pranks. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, the new teacher opened the window wide and sat down at his desk. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he picked up a stapler and promptly stapled the tie to his chest. Dead silence ... He had no trouble with discipline that year.

How do you castrate the pope?

Kick the altar boy in the chin.


A Rabbi, a Priest, and a Pastor make a bet.

They say, "Whoever goes into the woods and converts the most dangerous animal, wins". So a week goes by and they all return. The Pastor comes back with a rattlesnake and says "He goes to church every week!". The priest comes back with cougar and says "His first he's getting confirmed next month!". The Rabbi comes back in a full body cast and says " You know, I probably shouldn't have tried to circumcise a bear."

Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!

They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.

Cast joke, Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!

What is a castrated male's favorite operating system?

Unix.

The cast of the Matrix was having a barbeque

The seafood was fresh off the grill. Keanu Reeves tasted it and exclaimed "What is this! It's like charcoal!"

The cook turned and said "What if I told you...that's why they call me Laurence Fishburne"

^I'll ^see ^myself ^out

What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic?

A Juand

What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?

Shaking Bad.

You can explore cast protagonist reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cast remake dad jokes. There are also cast puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I think me life is like the Truman Show.

I was tryin' ta figure out what type a genre show it be.

I thought, "It might be a drama," but me life isn't sad enough.

I thought, "It might be an action tale," but alas, 'tis too boring.

"Then, perhaps, it be a comedy," I thought, but me life isn't funny, so I cast that idea overboard.

"Well," I thought, "it might be British."

Harrison Ford has broken his ankle.

There will now be a new Star Wars cast.

A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg

Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...

Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'

Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque'

Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'

A man breaks his foot and goes to the doctor...

The doctor put a cast on the foot and told the man to take it easy. The man asked the doctor, "Will I be able to play violin?"
Confused, the doctor replied, "Yes, you should be able to play the violin."

The man said, "Neat! I've never been able to play it before!"

I auditioned for a TV show for people with broken bones.

I didn't make the cast.

Cast joke, I auditioned for a TV show for people with broken bones.

I recently came out as pansexual.

But I'm only attracted to cast iron.

I've tried dating teflon, but it never sticks.

I guess it's true what they say:

"Once you go black, you never go back"

The cast of Star Wars VII just finished their first read through

Mark Hamill pulled JJ Abrams to the side and said Can I have a word?

When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders...

When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders, do I punch the ballot with my sickle or my hammer?


Did you know Avatar is a sequel to Titanic?

It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying.

Obligatory

What happens if you castrate a corn cob?

It becomes a eunuchcorn.

How do you castrate a redneck?

Kick his sister's jaw in.

I have a cast iron fetish

I guess you could say I'm pansexual

Atleast there was one way that the new Ghostbusters was true to the original...

It still had a black guy as one of the main cast.

Cast the first stone...

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.

"This woman was found committing adultery and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.

"Wait," yelled Jesus, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.

"Aw, c'mon, Dad...," Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"

How do you castrate a priest?

Kick the alter boy in the jaw

Does anybody know the name of that Godzilla Movie?

It's the one where another monster actually breaks one of Godzilla's legs.

I can't remember the name of the movie, but it has a huge cast.

Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange...

I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.

People are really upset about how the cast of Hamilton treated Mike Pence.

I mean, the last time people were this upset about something an actor did to a Republican in a theater, the Civil War had just ended.

I tried to rob a bank using jello cast in the shape of a gun

The police charged me with carrying a congealed weapon

If I die young, I want my girlfriend to cast my ashes headwind

Because she never let me come on her face before.

How were the cast of Friends able to escape a desert island on a homemade raft?

Because Lisa Kudrow.

If you teach a man to cast a net.

He will be a hit at Spanish parties!

In an old castle, a lady says to the guide...

"I've heard that this place is haunted. I'm so scared!"
The guide says: "I've been working here for 558 years and I've never seen any ghosts..."

How do you castrate a hillbilly?

You kick his sister in the jaw

Hillary Clinton's New Book Is Already A Bestseller, And It Isn't Even Out Yet

Kinda like how she had won all those primaries before anyone got to cast a vote!

Why was the fishing show so successful?

They had a great cast

Casting Dwayne Johnson in a movie is a bold decision...

Casting The Rock is a boulder decision.

A former doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play.

Fortunately, he could still make the cast.

Women gained the right to vote 100 years ago to the day...

yet they still can't cast a vote on what they want for dinner

Someone asked me to sign their cast.

So I wrote, "Last warning. You have a week to get the rest of the money together. Next time we won't be so nice."

How do you castrate a priest?

Punch an altar boy in the back of the head

Mary Magdalene is about to be stoned for adultry

Just as the crowd was about to start throwing rocks, Jesus walks up and says "let him who is without sin cast the first stone." Nobody moves, but then a stone comes flying out from the crowd and hits Mary right in the face. Jesus turns to see who threw the stone and says "I told you not to bother me when I'm working mother!"

My girlfriend broke up with me so I started dating her twin sister

I'm not left handed but i'll have to make do until the doctor removes the cast

Why does Jesus always go first when the disciples go Curling?

Because they let he who is without sin cast the first stone!

I went boating with cast of friends the other day...

None of them could use an oar, but Lisa Kudrow.

Sorry.

I was ordering food for the cast of Black Panther. I asked if they liked pizza.

They said, It depends. Wakanda pizza?

What spell does America cast every time they invade a country in the Middle East?

Expecto Petroleum

A man broke his hand.

He asked the doctor, "Will I be able to play piano as soon as the cast comes off?"

"Of course!" said the doctor.

The man replied, "Great. I never could before."

Why do we tell all actors to 'break a leg'?

Because every play has a cast.

BLACK SUPERMAN

I hope they cast a black Superman. It would nice for a brother to finally be faster than a speeding bullet.



Credits:Someones Tweet

There's no better time to add insult to injury...

...Than when you're signing a cast :)

Disney has announced that all future Marvel movies will have an all male cast.

They are doing their part to combat the heroine epidemic.

A man goes to see his priest.

Father, my life is terrible, I have so many problems.

The priest tells him that he needs an exorcism to cast the devil out of his life.

Can't do that father, I have 3 chidren with her.

The castle in Tallinn was destroyed yesterday

It was a huge loss

What do you need for a movie about broken bones?

An awesome cast

It wasn't much fun breaking my neck and being in a cast..

But now I can look back and laugh.

What beer do the cast of Toy Story drink?

Buzz Light.

Why wasn't Bill Murray cast as Thor?

Because nobody likes an electricity bill.

Why was the castle prostitute tired all the time?

She worked knights.

Why can you only get castrated once ?

Because you don't have the balls to do it a second time.

Why do people say break a leg when you go on stage?

Because every play has a cast.

Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel.

Old Hobbits Die Hard.

So i was watching p*rn last night and accidently pressed cast to tv, it found a samsung tv and started steaming...

I dont have a samsung tv in my house.

Witches don't fart

They cast smells

Did you hear the one about the Vegan Crossfitter who saw Hamilton live on Broadway with the original cast?

He didn't know which one to talk about first.

If the Klu Klux Klan leaders are wizards, why don't they cast a spell to kill all those that oppose them?

I guess it's because they don't have access to black magic...

My conservative grandmother used to be a big Trump supporter, but this year her mail-in ballot was cast for Joe Biden.

No way would she have done that if she were still alive.

What did Capt. Ahab's son write on his father's cast?

Get whale soon"

Why do actors tell each other to "break a leg"?

Because every play needs a cast.

We were talking about cast iron pans and my brain sprang into disfunction

I like my women like my cast iron cookware.

Black, thick and covered in oil.

Why do people say "break a leg" before an audition?

It's so that they'll end up in a cast.

Jesus and the woman taken in adultery

The crowd is about to stone her, but Jesus steps in front of them and says "Verily, the one who is among you that is without sin may cast the first stone!"

All of them let their hand sink, bow their heads in shame. There suddenly, from the back, a stone comes flying, hitting the woman squarely in the face. Furiously, Jesus storms through the crowd to see who dared to, who thinks himself to be without sin. He finds the thrower, grimaces and stomps his feet.

"Stop doing this! You always do that, always you have to embarrass me in front of my friends, MOM!"

It's a bit unsympathetic to tell actors to "break a leg"?

I mean... they're already in a cast.

I would castrate myself

If I had the balls to do it

What happened when the cast of 'Friends' were stuck out at sea in a life raft?

They were fine, because Lisa Kudrow

I didn't believe it when I read that the cast of Friends are reuniting after 20 years.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.

No good deed goes unpunished

I ran into a friend of mine who looked roughed up, with a shiner and an arm in a cast. I was aghast and asked him what happened.

He: Dude, don't ask. I was on the bus, minding my own business, when the gal sitting next to me stood up as her stop was approaching, and I noticed her skirt was stuck in her buttcrack. Thought I'd do her a favor and pull the skirt back out, but she punched me in the face.

Me: That sucks, yo! What's with the arm?

He: Oh, that was for trying to make peace by pushing the skirt back in .

I watched a movie about fishing...

It had a great cast in it.

Fish Joke

What do you call fishing for whales?



A Pod Cast.....

The lead actress for Avatar Korra is going to be so hard for M. Knight Shyamalan to cast

Gotcha :)

Why do people tell actors to break a leg?

Because every play needs a cast.

My neighbor's dog keeps going in my yard

I tell my neighbor politely a few times to keep his dog in his yard, but every evening I come out to a fresh pile.

I tell him to clean it up, but he never does, so I give him an ultimatum: The next time your dog comes into my yard I am going to cook him.

The next day, sure as anything, the dog shits in my yard. So I grab the little nuisance and kennel him as I throw a big steak on my cast iron skillet set over a fire.

My neighbor comes out, horrified, and says I had an over-reaction.

I point to the crust on the steak and say No, this is just a my-yard reaction.

Rumor has it Marvel is gonna make a movie about Iron Woman

The cast will have a FeMale.

I think Model Trains cast an unrealistic beauty standard on actual trains...

But model trains never eat and real trains are always CHEW CHEW CHEW-ing

The cast of Friends got shipwrecked on an deserted island...

Monica, Joey and Chandler were left behind because in real life David is a Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow.

A doctor broke his leg while auditioning for a play.

He made the cast.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cast flung jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cast broken arm cast piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes