Cashew Nut Jokes
59 cashew nut jokes and hilarious cashew nut puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cashew nut that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Cashew Nut Short Jokes
Short cashew nut jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cashew nut humour may include short cashew jokes also.
- Two nuts were hanging out in a tree. One slipped and started to fall. The other one said Don't worry man, I'm a cashew
- Today I met a man who said that everything in the universe was made up of pistachios, almonds and cashews. But that's just nuts.
- NASA is currently developing a way to grow cashews on the Moon's soil... They're calling them Astro-nuts.
- What's the difference between a container of peanuts, cashews, and almonds and neutering a dog. One is mixed nuts - the other is nixed mutts!
- One of my regulars came into my store to buy some snacks He handed me a packet of nuts, I scanned them and said "So I guess I'll cashew later?"
- Cashews are expensive, almonds are expensive. Peanuts are cheaper. How about deer nuts? You find them under a buck.
- Two cashews walk into a bar... The Bartender says "How about a glass of our most expensive wine?"
The Cashews reply, "Do you think we're Nuts?!" - What did the mother nut say to her son nut? If I EVER cashew doing that again, I walnut be happy
- Ohhh Nuts! Did you hear about the two cashews that walked into the bar?
One was a salted... - Did you hear about the goal-oriented cashews? They were driven nuts.
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Cashew Nut One Liners
Which cashew nut one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cashew nut? I can suggest the ones about pecan nut and almond nuts.
- What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut? I'm a cashew
- I am really glad that No Nut November is over. A whole month without cashews was rough.
- What sounds do nuts make when they sneeze? Cashew
- What does a sneezing nut sound like? *Ca-shew.*
- What is the most allergic nut? The Ca.........shew!!!!!
I'll see myself out. - How does a nut say good bye to another nut? I'll Cashew later bro.
- Where does almond and cashew milk come from? Crazy cows. They have to be nuts.
- What does a nut say when he sneezes? Ca-shew!
- So a peanut walks in on a cashew... Nuts hanging out.
- What kind of nuts go on your feet? *Sigh*...
Cashews. - What did the bratty nut say to Dr Phil? Cashew outside. How 'bou dat?
- Which nut can you never escape? Cashew!
- What is a Pokémon's favorite kind of nut? A Pi-cashew
- What happens when you turn a cashew in to the police? You bust a nut
- Have you seen the prices of Almonds and Cashews? They're nuts.
Cashew Nut Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about cashew nut you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean peanuts nuts jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cashew nut pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little known fact, you can actually nut during No Nut November
You just can't let anyone cashew
The nice old lady..
An old lady always gave the bus conductor cashew nuts and almonds to eat.
Conductor: "So kind of you to give me those nuts to eat everyday. Why don't you eat them yourself?"
Old Lady: "I don't have the teeth to munch them."
Conductor: "Then why do you buy them?"
Old Lady: "I just love the chocolate around them!" :P :P :P
What is a Jewish person's favorite nut?
A cashew.
What did the Nut say when he left the party?
Cheers guys, Cashew in a bit!
What did the guy who accidentally bought cashews instead of almonds say?
Aw, nuts.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A french fellow has ten cashews.
d**... nuts.
My friend grabbed my by the shoulders and shook me
My friend grabbed me by the shoulders, and shook my while exclaiming, "I'm a pecan! I'm a cashew!"
I said "What?"
My friend continued shaking me back and forth and yelling, "I'm a macadamia! I'm an almond!"
I said "Woah dude! You're nuts!"
My ex-girlfriend has always been a real chess nut..
I dumped her for a cashew..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm like a cashew in a lollipop
Just keep s**... 'till you get to the nut
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the s**... nut say to the bowl of w**...?
Ima cashew.
What did the cashew say to the peanuts who wanted to go skydiving?
You're nuts!
They call me the cashew police
I bust nuts
I failed No Nut November
I ate cashews.
You can actually nut during November.
You just can't have anyone cashew.
What did one nut say to the other nut when they were playing tag?
I'm a Cashew
What did the Cashew say to the cobweb?
Ye leet mate, you've proper spun me nut n that haha
If money could eat, what would be its favorite kind of nut?
Cashews!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You're a nut if you don't like money.
Specifically, a cash-ew.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An archaeologist is visiting a small town in Nevada.
He's just ambling around, enjoying the play of the autumn light on the terracotta and adobe-colored buildings. He rounds a corner and is surprised to see the most, bar none, stunningly beautiful alley he's ever come across...
It may sound like he's a bit nerdy, but we all have our things we love and he's a lover of old streets.
The ground of the alley is a light orange in hue, with a soft almost nutty sheen and texture.
His feet feel refreshed!
The street has gorgeous s**... and embankments, like an alleyway out of Florence in the 1500s, but made out of clay stones.
He sees two gentlemen working on fixing a small crack in the street, the only blemish for blocks.
One of them is pounding down the clay with a wide-head sledgehammer, thwap thwap!
The other is on his knees with a compass and a pick and a broom, adjusting the grade of the street material.
He interrupts them to say, Excuse me gentlemen! I hate to be a bother, but I just want to applaud your hard work on this alleyway. It's rare a city takes such good care with its streets and this one is one of the best.
The man with the sledge stops and says, Well, we appreciate that sir. You know your streets, it seems! Would it surprise you to know that the composition of this street is not adobe? It's mulched with our native nut trees, the cashew nut. That's what gives it its softness. When it rains, the petrichor has a slight sweetness due to the cashew, and the town smells fantastic. I'm just hammering it down before it gets too cold.
Well, I'll be! cried the archaeologist. And what's that fellow up to? pointing to the man on his knees.
Oh him! He's in charge of checking the grade of the clay. If it's too rough, he picks and sweeps it. Backbreaking work. We hire four of them, one for each season. And since autumn just arrived, he's got a few months yet. So you see...
And here the man paused...
So you see...my hammered alley is really 'cashews clay'. And he is the gradist.
The gradist...of fall time.