Cashew Nut Jokes

76 cashew nut jokes and hilarious cashew nut puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cashew nut that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Cashew Nut Short Jokes

Short cashew nut jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cashew nut humour may include short cashew jokes also.

  1. Two nuts were hanging out in a tree. One slipped and started to fall. The other one said Don't worry man, I'm a cashew
  2. Little known fact, you can actually nut during No Nut November You just can't let anyone cashew
  3. What kind of nuts go on your feet? *Sigh*...
  4. Two nuts are playing tag, and chaser says to the chasee: Imma cashew!
  5. How did the nut sneeze? Cashew
  6. What did the bratty nut say to Dr Phil? Cashew outside. How 'bou dat?
  7. Today I met a man who said that everything in the universe was made up of pistachios, almonds and cashews. But that's just nuts.
  8. What did the nut say when chasing the other nut? I'm going to cashew
    (sent to me from my friend in Scotland)
  9. What did one nut tell the other before they seperated? "Bye, I'll cashew later."
  10. What do you call a sneezing nut? Cashew

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Cashew Nut One Liners

Which cashew nut one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cashew nut? I can suggest the ones about pecan nut and almond nuts.

  1. What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut? I'm a cashew
  2. What did the nut say to the other nut when he was chasing him? Imma cashew
  3. I am really glad that No Nut November is over. A whole month without cashews was rough.
  4. What sounds do nuts make when they sneeze? Cashew
  5. What did a nut say to the nut it was chasing? I'm a cashew!
  6. How does a nut sneeze? Cashew!
  7. What did the nut say while chasing the other nut? Ima cashew
  8. What does a sneezing nut sound like? *Ca-shew.*
  9. What is the most allergic nut? The Ca.........shew!!!!!
    I'll see myself out.
  10. How does a nut say good bye to another nut? I'll Cashew later bro.
  11. Where does almond and cashew milk come from? Crazy cows. They have to be nuts.
  12. What does a nut say when he sneezes? Ca-shew!
  13. So a peanut walks in on a cashew... Nuts hanging out.
  14. What do nuts say when they sneeze? Cashew!
  15. What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.

Cashew Nut Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about cashew nut you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean peanuts nuts jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cashew nut pranks.

Two cashews walk into a bar...

The Bartender says "How about a glass of our most expensive wine?"
The Cashews reply, "Do you think we're Nuts?!"

The nice old lady..

An old lady always gave the bus conductor cashew nuts and almonds to eat.
Conductor: "So kind of you to give me those nuts to eat everyday. Why don't you eat them yourself?"
Old Lady: "I don't have the teeth to munch them."
Conductor: "Then why do you buy them?"
Old Lady: "I just love the chocolate around them!" :P :P :P

What is a Jewish person's favorite nut?

A cashew.

What did the Nut say when he left the party?

Cheers guys, Cashew in a bit!

Did you hear about the goal-oriented cashews?

They were driven nuts.

What happens when a cashew masturbates

It nuts

Have you seen the prices of Almonds and Cashews?

They're nuts.

What is a Pokémon's favorite kind of nut?

A Pi-cashew

What happens when you turn a cashew in to the police?

You bust a nut

Cashews are expensive, almonds are expensive. Peanuts are cheaper. How about deer nuts?

You find them under a buck.

How does a greedy nut sound when it sneezes?


One of my regulars came into my store to buy some snacks

He handed me a packet of nuts, I scanned them and said "So I guess I'll cashew later?"

What did one nut say to the other?

Imma cashew outside, how bout dat?

What's the difference between a container of peanuts, cashews, and almonds and neutering a dog.

One is mixed nuts - the other is nixed mutts!

Which nut can you never escape?


What did one nut say to the other nut as it was running away?

I'm a cashew.

A nut is chasing another nut then shouts...

I'm a cashew!

What sound does a nut so when it catches a cold?


What did the guy who accidentally bought cashews instead of almonds say?

Aw, nuts.

A french fellow has ten cashews.

d**... nuts.

What did the mother nut say to her son nut?

If I EVER cashew doing that again, I walnut be happy

My friend grabbed my by the shoulders and shook me

My friend grabbed me by the shoulders, and shook my while exclaiming, "I'm a pecan! I'm a cashew!"
I said "What?"
My friend continued shaking me back and forth and yelling, "I'm a macadamia! I'm an almond!"
I said "Woah dude! You're nuts!"

I'm like a cashew in a lollipop

Just keep s**... 'till you get to the nut

Ohhh Nuts!

Did you hear about the two cashews that walked into the bar?
One was a salted...

What did the cashew say to the peanuts who wanted to go skydiving?

You're nuts!

What did one nut yell to the nut he was chasing?

I'm a cashew!

They call me the cashew police

I bust nuts

I failed No Nut November

I ate cashews.

You can actually nut during November.

You just can't have anyone cashew.

What did one nut say to the other nut when they were playing tag?

I'm a Cashew

What did the Cashew say to the cobweb?

Ye leet mate, you've proper spun me nut n that haha

What did the nut say when he went to the ATM?

I'm a cashew

If money could eat, what would be its favorite kind of nut?


Why did the nut say to the other nut?

imma cashew

You're a nut if you don't like money.

Specifically, a cash-ew.

NASA is currently developing a way to grow cashews on the Moon's soil...

They're calling them Astro-nuts.