The Best 45 Cashew Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cashew jokes. There are some cashew beez jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cashew pistachio puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cashew Jokes and Puns

Little known fact, you can actually nut during No Nut November

You just can't let anyone cashew

my wife's favorite joketo tell

What do you call a peanut with a cold?


she was so proud of herself for making me laugh with this one.

How do you sum up a cashew?

In a nutshell!

Cashew joke, How do you sum up a cashew?

Two cashews walk into a bar...

The Bartender says "How about a glass of our most expensive wine?"

The Cashews reply, "Do you think we're Nuts?!"

The nice old lady..

An old lady always gave the bus conductor cashew nuts and almonds to eat.

Conductor: "So kind of you to give me those nuts to eat everyday. Why don't you eat them yourself?"

Old Lady: "I don't have the teeth to munch them."

Conductor: "Then why do you buy them?"

Old Lady: "I just love the chocolate around them!" :P :P :P

What did the cashew say to the sneezing peanut?

"Yes, what is it?"

Where does almond and cashew milk come from?

Crazy cows. They have to be nuts.

Cashew joke, Where does almond and cashew milk come from?

If James Bond movies were about food...

These could be their titles:

* On Her Majesty's Secret Recipe

* Donuts are Forever

* Octopie

* Moonbaker

* The Spy Who Loved Meat

* License to Grill

* GoldenPie

* Diet Another Day

* All The Food In The World Is Not Enough

* Cashew Chicken Royale

What happens when you turn a cashew in to the police?

You bust a nut

What do you call an angry cashew?

A pissed-achio.

What sounds do nuts make when they sneeze?


You can explore cashew cardamom reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cashew coconut dad jokes. There are also cashew puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I was just eating cashews and one of them fell into my bra.

Is it still a cashew or is it a chestnut now?

What does a sneezing nut sound like?


Cashews are expensive, almonds are expensive. Peanuts are cheaper. How about deer nuts?

You find them under a buck.

How does a greedy nut sound when it sneezes?


One of my regulars came into my store to buy some snacks

He handed me a packet of nuts, I scanned them and said "So I guess I'll cashew later?"

Cashew joke, One of my regulars came into my store to buy some snacks

What does a nut say when he sneezes?


What did one nut say to the other?

Imma cashew outside, how bout dat?

What do nuts say when they sneeze?


What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?

I'm a cashew

Which nut can you never escape?


What did one nut say to the other nut as it was running away?

I'm a cashew.

What do you call a sneezing nut?


Two nuts were hanging out in a tree. One slipped and started to fall.

The other one said Don't worry man, I'm a cashew

What did the mother nut say to her son nut?

If I EVER cashew doing that again, I walnut be happy

My friend grabbed my by the shoulders and shook me

My friend grabbed me by the shoulders, and shook my while exclaiming, "I'm a pecan! I'm a cashew!"
I said "What?"
My friend continued shaking me back and forth and yelling, "I'm a macadamia! I'm an almond!"
I said "Woah dude! You're nuts!"

I'm like a cashew in a lollipop

Just keep sucking 'till you get to the nut

What did one nut yell to the nut he was chasing?

I'm a cashew!

What did one nut tell the other before they seperated?

"Bye, I'll cashew later."

What did the bratty nut say to Dr Phil?

Cashew outside. How 'bou dat?

What did the nut say while chasing the other nut?

Ima cashew

What did the peanut say when the almond tried to pick a fight with it?

Cashew outside!

What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?


How does a nut say good bye to another nut?

I'll Cashew later bro.

How did the nut sneeze?


So a peanut walks in on a cashew...

Nuts hanging out.

What do you call a mean cashew


What is the most allergic nut?

The Ca.........shew!!!!!

I'll see myself out.

What did the aggressive walnut say to the group of peanuts?

You better hope I don't cashew outside!!

What did the nut say to the other nut when he was chasing him?

Imma cashew

Why did the walnut know where the cashew was hiding

Because he was pecan

How does a nut sneeze?


What did the nut say when chasing the other nut?

I'm going to cashew
(sent to me from my friend in Scotland)

What did a nut say to the nut it was chasing?

I'm a cashew!

Two nuts are playing tag, and chaser says to the chasee:

Imma cashew!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cashew acorns jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cashew cocoa piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes