Following is our collection of funny Cash Registers jokes. There are some cash registers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cash registers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
After getting all his food he brings it to the cash register to ring it up. The cashier says "that'll be $49.95", The man hands him a $100 bill and the cashier asks "do you have anything smaller? We've been having a rash of counterfeit bills lately"; the man reaches in his pockets and hands him a $55 bill
He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.'
So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00?
The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?
...she picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay.
The cashier looks at her, and the items she has and says,
"I can tell you're single."
She smiles and responds,
"How do you know that?"
He says,
"Because you're ugly."
A woman was at the supermarket with her kid and was about to check out. When she got to the cash register, all she had was a backpack. The clerk asked her why she wanted the backpack since her kid was still very young. She responded, "I'm going to stuff my kid in the backpack and carry him around." The people behind her in line gasped at how the lady said she was going to treat her kid. The clerk shrugged his shoulders and said, "Ok lady, whatever totes your goat."
Pavlov walks into a bar. He hears the cash register ring and he says:
"Shit, I forgot to feed my dogs."
*My dad with a coffee at the gas station cash register:*
Cashier: any gas with that?
Dad: no thanks, I drink mine black
A cash register.
He goes in and sees a doctor's brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. He asks the person behind the cash register, Why is a doctor brain worth $8 a pound but a lawyer brain is worth $90? The cashier responds, Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound?
Chex.
A robber came in and stole my dads cash register at one stop. Luckily the police got 500+ photos of the robber as an evidence.
But the lady at the cash register said her pump was broken.
You can explore cash registers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cash registers dad jokes. There are also cash registers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
And this cash register, and this Xbox, and this flat screen tv.
ME: Do I swipe the whole card or...
*[seductively inserts chip]*
Just the tip?
CASHIER: *[into mic]* Security
It's about 4 ft high, made of wood and there's usually a cash register on top of it.
She buys a cucumber, Greek yogurt, a gallon of milk, 2L Fanta, a loaf of bread, 6 pack of miller lites, can of olives and raisins. She then walks up to the counter places the items in front of the cash register. The cashier looks at the items, looks at her and then back at the items and says "I know you're single". The woman is surprised and laughs "That's crazy! How can you tell just based on my items?!". The cashier replies, "its cause you're ugly"
I guess it doesn't make much cents for me to use it.
I read my horoscope today. It said that I will soon come into some money.
Funnily enough it was right. I just got finished masturbating into a cash register.
"Could you tell me how much this is?" I asked. She said, "That's 500 millilitres, sir."
How much does your challah cost?
Cashier responds: 6 million
The barbershop was crowded, so the woman at the cash register offered to put my name on the waiting list.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Stephen, with a P-H," I said.
Minutes later, a chair opened up, and my name was called: "Pheven?"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cash registers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cash registers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.