The Best 20 Cash Registers Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cash Registers jokes. There are some cash registers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cash registers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cash Registers Jokes and Puns

A man walks into a grocery store

After getting all his food he brings it to the cash register to ring it up. The cashier says "that'll be $49.95", The man hands him a $100 bill and the cashier asks "do you have anything smaller? We've been having a rash of counterfeit bills lately"; the man reaches in his pockets and hands him a $55 bill

A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.'

He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.'

So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00?

The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?

A Girl walks into a Supermarket...

...she picks up a banana, a can of soup, and a loaf of bread. She then walks up to the cash register to pay.


The cashier looks at her, and the items she has and says,


"I can tell you're single."



She smiles and responds,



"How do you know that?"



He says,



"Because you're ugly."

A woman was at the supermarket

A woman was at the supermarket with her kid and was about to check out. When she got to the cash register, all she had was a backpack. The clerk asked her why she wanted the backpack since her kid was still very young. She responded, "I'm going to stuff my kid in the backpack and carry him around." The people behind her in line gasped at how the lady said she was going to treat her kid. The clerk shrugged his shoulders and said, "Ok lady, whatever totes your goat."

Pavlov walks into a bar

Pavlov walks into a bar. He hears the cash register ring and he says:

"Shit, I forgot to feed my dogs."


Dad joke [OC]

*My dad with a coffee at the gas station cash register:*

Cashier: any gas with that?

Dad: no thanks, I drink mine black

What do you call a Jewish piano?

A cash register.

A doctor sees a brains for sale sign in front of a shop.

He goes in and sees a doctor's brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. He asks the person behind the cash register, Why is a doctor brain worth $8 a pound but a lawyer brain is worth $90? The cashier responds, Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound?

What's a cash register's favorite cereal?

Chex.

My dad was driving a tourist bus filled with Japanese tourists in the 1990s.

A robber came in and stole my dads cash register at one stop. Luckily the police got 500+ photos of the robber as an evidence.

I went to the grocery store to grab some milk

But the lady at the cash register said her pump was broken.

You can explore cash registers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cash registers dad jokes. There are also cash registers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I went to ferguson and all I got was this stupid T-Shirt

And this cash register, and this Xbox, and this flat screen tv.

*at cash register*

ME: Do I swipe the whole card or...

*[seductively inserts chip]*

Just the tip?

CASHIER: *[into mic]* Security

Whenever I talk to a Mexican I feel like there's some kind of barrier between us

It's about 4 ft high, made of wood and there's usually a cash register on top of it.

A woman goes to the store

She buys a cucumber, Greek yogurt, a gallon of milk, 2L Fanta, a loaf of bread, 6 pack of miller lites, can of olives and raisins. She then walks up to the counter places the items in front of the cash register. The cashier looks at the items, looks at her and then back at the items and says "I know you're single". The woman is surprised and laughs "That's crazy! How can you tell just based on my items?!". The cashier replies, "its cause you're ugly"

My cash register won't open...

I guess it doesn't make much cents for me to use it.

Read my horoscope today..

I read my horoscope today. It said that I will soon come into some money.

Funnily enough it was right. I just got finished masturbating into a cash register.

There wasn't a price on the bottle of water, so I took it up to the cash register.

"Could you tell me how much this is?" I asked. She said, "That's 500 millilitres, sir."

So a Christian man walks into a Jewish bakery and he looks at all the fantastic breads. He walks up to the cash register and he asks:

How much does your challah cost?
Cashier responds: 6 million


The barbershop was crowded, so the woman at the cash register offered to put my name on the waiting list.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Stephen, with a P-H," I said.

Minutes later, a chair opened up, and my name was called: "Pheven?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cash registers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cash registers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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