Cash Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,

"No, just leave it in the carton! "


P. S. thanks for the 4 people who sort by new. appreciate it.

Cashier: Scans Condoms

Do you need a bag sir?

Me: Jesus, she's not that ugly

A dying grandma tells her grandchild....

A dying grandma tells her grandchild, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the barn, livestock, the harvest, the tractor, and other equipment, the farmhouse and $24,548,750.45 in cash." The grandchild, absolutely floored and about to become rich says, "Oh grandma, you are SO generous! I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, Grandma whispered, "Facebook..."

[NSFW] The Penguin

A guy goes to the whorehouse but he's strapped for cash.

"What can I get for 5 bucks?

"5 bucks... That'll get you a 'penguin.' Rose! Come, take this man back and give him a penguin."

Rose takes the man to her room, undoes his pants and starts giving him a blowjob. But right before he is getting ready to come, she gets up and walks away.

The man becomes upset and, with his pants still around his ankles, waddles after her. "Wait, so this is a penguin?!"

I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a customer with her barcode reader for being rude.

The look on his face was priceless.

The cashier at the local grocery store asked me if i wanted to donate 2$ to end world hunger, i was like HELL YEAH!

I had no idea we were this close! I'm gonna be a god damn hero!

Joke by Matt Donaher

Did Jesus pay for our sins with cash or credit?

He used praypal.

Two guys are walking down a dark alley

when a mugger approaches them and demand their money.

They both grudgingly pull our their wallets and begin taking out their cash.

Just then, one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Hey, here's that twenty dollars I owe you."

A drunk guy calls a radio station...

...and tells the RJ,"I found this purse outside Raven's club. It has 1500 dollars in cash, a credit card, an iPhone 6s, and a driving license with Rebecca's name on it."
The RJ asks in an impressed tone,"It was good of you to call us. Do you need my help contacting her so that you can return the purse?"

"No. I just wanted to request a sad song for Rebecca."

An American walks into a swiss bank with two large bags

He walks up to a teller and says quietly "I have 2 million dollars in cash that I need to deposit into a swiss bank account now"

The teller replies "Sir, there's no need to whisper, poverty is nothing to be ashamed of in Switzerland."

Drug Store Robber

A man was in need of some quick cash, and so he decided to turn to thievery. He grabbed his gun and visited 5 different drug stores, stealing over 5,000 pills of Viagra. The next day, while preparing to sell the pills, the man's house was surrounded by police. With no place to go, the man decided to swallow the evidence. He is now facing 20 years of hard time.

Why are lesbians always low on cash?

Because they're constantly eating out!

Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?

Do Las Vegas churches accept gambling chips?
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas , but there are more Catholic churches than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings.
The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by the chip monks.

Cashiers have a thing for me.

They keep checking me out.

What's the easiest way to pay a musician?

Open the door, hand him the cash and take the pizza

You ever go to pay cash, but the cashier has already handed you the card machine?

I'm like... "Did you just assume my tender?"

A bank robber gets hold of the cash he needs but before fleeing the scene he demands the regular customers to stand in a line

The bank robber ask the first guy in line: "did you see what happened here?"

First guy: "I sure did! And I'm gonna tell the police exactly what happened and what you look lik..."
The bank robber shoots him in the head and ask the next in line the same question.

Second guy: "I assure you I did not see a thing... but my wife here did"

The "penguin"

A guy who's strapped for cash asks a prostitute what he can get for $10. She replies, "Well, for 10 bucks I'll give you a 'penguin.'" "Okay... Sure, I'll take it."

So she gets down on her knees, lowers his pants, and begins giving him a blowjob. But right before he is about to cum, she gets up and walks away. The guy is confused, and starts to waddle after her, with his pants still around his ankles. "Wait, so this is a penguin?!?"

Got this from an old PlayBoy magazine.

Two guys are walking in a rough neighborhood...

Two guys are walking in a rough neighborhood when someone jumps out from behind a car, pulls out a pistol, and demands, "Give me your wallets, NOW!"

The guys, pretty much expecting this, sigh and pull out their wallets. One guy opens his wallet and shows the thief that he had no cash and no credit cards.

The other guy opens his and grabs a bill, handing it to his friend. "Oh, hey, here's the $20 I owe you."

A Vampire walks into a bank and pulls a gun out

Hands up, this is a robbery! He declares, as he starts forcing the teller to fill a sack with cash.

One of the customers, cracking slightly under the pressure asks; Hey, shouldn't you be robbing a blood bank?

The vampire turns to them and grins.
No, see, I'm cursed. He explains.

Cursed?

Yep, I can only feed on smartasses, and there's always at least one when I pull this stunt.

I got a free iPhoneX, $300 cash and a camera

Its like this gun has magic

The mugger

Two guys are walking home from a bar when a mugger approaches them in an alley with a knife and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and says, "Hey, here's that $20 I owe you."

A cashier asked me if I wanted paper or plastic.

I told her: "just put the money in a fucking bag!"

My wife's 82 year old grandmother told this joke today at our family dinner

A grandfather and grandmother were visiting their son and family for a night. The father asked the son if he could have one if his viagra. The son said yes but that he needed to leave $10 in the cabinet.

The next morning the son found $110 cash next to the bottle. He went to his father and said "Dad it was only $10, you made a mistake."

The grandfather responded "The $10 is from me and the $100 is from your mother."

Don't know if this is a scam but I just received a text saying I'd won $250 cash or 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute night.

It says press 1 for the money or 2 for the show.

The cashier at Costco dared to ask me why I'm buying a giant tub of whiteout.

Big mistake.

A man came up to my cash register.

He put a gun to my head and shouted, "Don't do anything smart."

"O-o-ok." I stuttered.

He said, "Open the cash register!"

I said, "I don't know how to."

He said, "Don't be stupid."

I said, "Fucking hell, make your mind up."

Just been to get a loaf of bread at a cost of Β£1.03 and gave the grumpy looking girl at the till a Β£20 note.

She said "have you got anything smaller as that would take all my change."

I said "no sorry but I can pay on card if that helps?"

She sarcastically said " of course it would help"

So as a presented my card she said "Cash back?"

I said "Yes please!"

"How much?" She asked

I said "Β£18.97"

Two Jewish friends pass a Catholic Church.

Two Jewish friends pass a Catholic Church on which a large poster addresses non-Catholics: "Come to us, accept Catholicism, and you instantly get $30,000 in cash!" While walking away, the two friends become engaged in a debate about whether the offer is meant seriously. A week later the two friends meet again in front of the same church, and one of them confides to the other: "I still wonder if that offer is serious." the other replies condescendingly: "Ah you Jews, all you think about is money!"

A man walks into a grocery store

After getting all his food he brings it to the cash register to ring it up. The cashier says "that'll be $49.95", The man hands him a $100 bill and the cashier asks "do you have anything smaller? We've been having a rash of counterfeit bills lately"; the man reaches in his pockets and hands him a $55 bill

A bartender was getting ready to close for the night
when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a
gun.

He yells to the bartender, "This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!"

The scared bartender pleads, "Don't shoot, please! I'll do as you say!"

The robber yells, "Shut up and empty the cash register!"

The bartender says, "Okay, okay! Just don't shoot; I have a wife and kids! I'll do whatever you say!"

The crook takes the money then puts the gun to the bartender's head and says, Alright, now suck my cock!"

"Anything!" cries the bartender, "Just don't shoot!"

The bartender starts to blow the crook. As the crook gets excited, he drops the gun.

The bartender sees the gun on the floor, picks it up, hands it back to the crook and yells, "Hold the gun, damn it!" One of my friends might walk in!"

A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.'

He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.'

So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00?

The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?

A blonde goes to a blood bank to earn a little money to pay the bills...

She steps into the elevator along with an attractive young man.

"Are you going to the blood bank too?" she inquires.

"no" he replies: "I go to the sperm bank, because I get four times the cash as I get for a pint of blood".

A week later, they meet again in the same elevator. The guy asks: " Off to the blood bank again?"

The blonde just shakes her head and says :" Mmm-Mmm"

Two jewish friends pass a catholic church...

Two jewish friends pass a catholic church on which a large poster addresses non-catholocs: come to us, accept catholicism, and you instantly get $30,000 in cash! While walking away, the two friends engage in a debate about wether the offer is meant seriously. A week later, the two friends pass by the same church again and one confides in the other I still wonder if that offer is serious. The other replies condescendingly: ah, you jews, all you think about is money!

A Chinese man comes to America...

He brought all of his money over in RMB so he goes to a bank with 1000RMB and asks them to change it into dollars. The teller takes his money and gives him $650.

A week later he's out of cash and goes back to the bank with another 1000RMB. He gives it to the teller and this time he only gets $625 back. Perplexed he asks the teller in a heavy chinese accent.

"Hey, how come last time I get $650 dollar, this time only $625 dollar"

The teller shrugs and says "Fluctuations"

The chinese man flies into a rage and storms out of bank and as he slams the door he turns and yells

"FLUC U AMERICANS TOO"

A woman was at the supermarket

A woman was at the supermarket with her kid and was about to check out. When she got to the cash register, all she had was a backpack. The clerk asked her why she wanted the backpack since her kid was still very young. She responded, "I'm going to stuff my kid in the backpack and carry him around." The people behind her in line gasped at how the lady said she was going to treat her kid. The clerk shrugged his shoulders and said, "Ok lady, whatever totes your goat."

So, a man walks into a bar...

... Upon entering said bar, the man notices a jar full of cash on the table.

"What's all this money for?", asked the man.

The bartender replied, "Well, if you can make my horse laugh, it's all yours."

"Alright, where's the horse?"

"In the back room."

"Thanks."

The man then enters the room. A few minutes later, the man comes out with the horse cracking up with laughter.

"Holy crap!" The bartender was so shocked, he could barely think of any words to say. "Well, a deal's a deal." The man then took the money, and left the bar.

The next day, he returns to the bar. The man spots yet another large jar of cash.

"Alright, what's THIS jar for?"

"All the money in this jar says you can't make my horse cry."

"Alright, fine. The horse?"

"Still in the back room."

The man walks into the room. He shortly returns, the horse next to him in hysterics, sobbing with such vigor.

"Okay, what the hell, I've gotta' know how you did all this; what's your secret?"

"Well, to make the horse laugh, I told him I had a bigger dick than him."

"Aha...?"

"Aaaaand to make him cry, I showed him."

Why is it a good idea to put your money in the freezer, instead of the bank?

So you always have access to cold hard cash...

A Governor who was going for a...

...foreign tour, had lots of cash lying with him. He thought it would be safest to keep it with a Senator and requested him to keep it until he returns. The Senator agreed but insisted the transaction be witnessed by two of his senior advisors. Money matters can lead to serious misunderstandings. said Senator. It is always wise to have two witnesses.


The Governor saw the wisdom of the advice. The cash was handed over to the Senator in the presence of two of his senior advisors.


Some weeks later when the Governor returned home, he called on the Senator and asked for the return of his money.


What money? asked the Senator. I don't know what you are talking about.


The cash I left with you. pleaded the Governor. You even had two of your senior advisors as witnesses.


Let's ask them. replied the Senator. The senior advisors were called to the Senator's office.


Do you know anything about this Governor leaving money with me? asked the Senator.


No sir, I know nothing replied one. No sir, he didn't leave any money with you. said the other. The senior advisors left the room. The Senator opened his safe and gave the Governor his cash.


Why did you first say you knew nothing about my money ? Asked the bewildered Governor.


I just wanted to know what kind of senior advisors I have. Replied the Senator.

How much cash can you make robbing an Indian restaurant?

As much as you can curry.

Jesus arrives at the last supper...

...he walks in and sees a mad party - alcohol, hookers, tables bending under the weight of the food and music thumping. He asks Peter: "what the fuck, Pete?! This was supposed to be a humble going-away dinner; where did you get the cash for all this?!" Peter replies: "I don't know; Judas sold something."

My Father's Favorite Joke (maybe NSFW?)

So,
An American Man, A German Man, and a Polack are in a hotel... and they're horny but strapped for cash, so they can't buy a prostitute. They can, however, buy a blow-up doll. The American drives to the store and picks one up, and heads back to the hotel. Since the American bought it, he gets to try her out first. He does his thing, comes out of his room 15 minutes later and says "that was actually pretty good for 5 bucks.." The German hears that as good news and takes her into his room. He comes out 30 minutes later and says "nothing like the girls of my country.. but she knows how to bend". The Polack cannot take anymore tension and takes the girl into his room. He comes out in 10 seconds, and the German and American ask him how his experience was. The Polack looks at them in fear, and says; "I don't know what happened," shaking his head. "I bit her on the tit, she farted, and flew out the window."

My dad apparently heard that joke in 7th grade, and still laughs for about 5 minutes every time he says it.

A robot walks into a bar, orders a drink, and lays down some cash.

The bartender says, "we don't serve robots." The robot replies, "oh, but some day you will."

A chimpanzee walks into a bar, sits down and slaps $100 cash down on the counter.

Immediately, the bartender begins chasing him around the bar, knocking over glasses of customers as the chimp laughs his ass off. This goes on for about 5 minutes. After they both tire, the chimp tips the bartender $50 and leaves. The bartender chuckles, and goes back to work as if nothing happened. One incredulous customer says well you're just going to pretend like that wasn't absolutely ridiculous?

Bartender says well sure, but a little monkey business never hurt anyone

She actually said that?

A man was telling his buddy, "You won't believe what happened last night... My daughter walked into the living room and said, 'Dad, cancel my allowance immediately, forget my college tuition loan, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out the window; take my TV, and my laptop. Please take any of my jewelry to the Salvation Army or Cash Converters. Then, sell my car, take my front door key away from me and throw me out of the house. Then, disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to any charity you choose.' "

"Holy Smokes," replied the friend, "she actually said that?"

"Well, she didn't put it quite like that, she actually said... 'Dad, meet my new boyfriend - Mohammed. We're going to work together on Hillary's election campaign!'

A woman donates her plasma for some extra cash.

There is a man in front of her in the line for the cashier. She notices that his check is for $200 as he leaves. She excitedly gets to the cashier. To her surprise, the cashier hands her a check for $50. "Wait a second," asks the woman, "how come he got $200 and I only got $50?"

"Well ma'am, you donated plasma and he donated sperm," replies the cashier.

"Oh I see" says the woman.

A week goes by and the woman returns to the donation center. The same cashier is working again. "Oh it's you again," says the cashier, "back to donate more plasma?"

The woman shakes her head no and says, "uh uh", carefully keeping her mouth closed.

A divorced man

A divorce man was walking on the street suddenly he saw a lamp in the middle of the road.

He picked it up and suddenly a genie poped out and said to man " you have three wishes and be careful what you will wish you ex will get double of that."

Man scratched his head and said "okay give me a $1 billion mansion."

Genie: wish fulfilled and your ex got $2 billion mansion. Now you have 2 wishes left.

Man again scratched his head and said "give $1 billion cash for my bills and other stuffs."

Genie : wish fulfilled here is the bank statement and your ex got $2billion. So what's you last wish.

Man : now I want a 8 inch d**k

LOL

That's the word I was looking for! (Possibly NSFW)

A man walks into a doctors office and says to the doctor "I want you to castrate me"

The doctor says "NO! I will never do such a thing"

Man: "What if I give you $1000 in cash?"

Doctor: "No"

Man: "What about $5000?"

Doctor: "Well... if you insist"

And so, the doctor puts the man under anesthesia to perform the castration



When the man regains consciousness, the doctor tells him

"The castration was a success. And, since you paid me so much, I decided to give you a circumcision as well"

The man slaps himself on the forehead and says

"CIRCUMCISION! That's the word I was looking for!"

Guy pulls into a gas station driving a new mercedes after a round of golf...

He walks inside to pay for the gas and there's a lady working the cash register.

When the man walks in the gal says, "that's an awful nice car you got there."

The man, clearly proud of his whip, says, "Oh yeah. That thing is loaded. Its got a GPS, satellite radio, seat warmers, the whole nine yards. What do I owe ya?"

She gives him the total and he reaches into his pocket for some change. With the change comes a tee in his hand.

"What's that there," she asks.

"That's to hold up my balls while I'm driving."

"Wow, them folks at Mercedes have thought of everything."

A Blonde hard up for cash kidnaps a kid at the park.

She writes a random note:

I have your son. If you want to see him again, tonight leave a bag with $500 under a park bench by the pond.

PS. No cops!

- Blonde.

Realizing that she has no idea where to send it and not wanting to expose herself in the first place, she smartly sends the kid home to deliver her menacing missive.

The following morning she arrives at the designated bench and underneath finds a bag with the money and a note:

How could you do this to your fellow Blonde???

"Cash or Debit?"

"Did you just assume my tender?!"

Young newlywed couple needs some cash

They decide to let the wife work on the street

So the man drops the wife off at the corner and leaves

The wife got tired and called the man to come get her

The man comes and picks up the woman and he asked her "So, how much did you make"

She says "I made 200 dollars and 50 cent"

Outraged the man exclaimed "What dickhead gave you 50 cents!"

The wife calml y replies "Every single one of them"

A Taxing Poem

"Taxpayer's Lament"

Tax his cow, Tax his goat;
Tax his pants, Tax his coat;

Tax his crop, Tax his work;
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt;

Tax his chew, Tax his smoke
Teach him taxing is no joke.

Tax his tractor, Tax his mule;
Tell him, Taxing is the rule.

Tax his oil, Tax his gas
Tax his notes, Tax his cash

Tax him good and let him know,
That after taxes, he has no dough.

If he hollers, Tax him more;
Tax him till he's good and sore.

Tax his coffin, Tax his grave,
Tax his sod in which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove him to his doom."

After he's gone, we won't relax.
We'll still collect inheritance tax.

A really bad, terrible mistake

Fred goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, I want to be castrated. " Doc says, "Look, I don't know what kind of cult you're into or what your motives are, but I'm not going to do that sort of operation. " Fred: "Doc, I just want to be castrated, and I'm a littlee mbarrassed about talking about it, but I have $5,000 cash right here. Will you do it? " Doc says, "Well, OK, I guess I could make this one exception. I don't understand it, but OK. " He puts Fred to sleep, does the trick, and is waiting at the bedside when Fred wakes up. "Well, Doc, how'd it go? " Fred asks. "It went fine, just fine. It's really not too difficult of an operation. As a matter of fact, $5,000 is a lot to pay for such a simple task, and I felt a little guilty about taking that much. So, while I was operating, I also noticed that you had never been circumcised, so I went ahead and did that, too. I think, it's really better for a man to be circumcised, and I hope you don't mind my... " "CIRCUMCISED! " yells Fred. "THAT'S the word!!! "

I really can't stand it when homeless guys shake their cups of money at me.

Do they really have to rub it in that they've got more cash than I do?

Donald Trump is being held hostage...

Guy 1: "Donald Trump is being held hostage by terrorists and they threaten to shoot him unless the US can come up with $5 billion in cash!"

Guy 2: "Oh my God, that's horrible! How much have people donated?"

Guy 1: "So far, 15 rifles, 20 machine guns, 16 shotguns, 8 revolvers, 76 BB guns, 18 Glocks, 15 magnums, 21 bobcats, and $12 million in bullets.

20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs.

Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

God please don't kill Kevin Bacon.

All Dolled Up

A husband and wife had been married for 60 years and had no 
secrets except for one: The woman kept in her closet a shoe box that 
she forbade her husband from ever opening. But when she was on her deathbedβ€”and with her blessingβ€”he opened the box and found a 
crocheted doll and $95,000 in cash.

My mother told me that the secret to a happy marriage was to never 
argue, she explained. Instead, I should keep quiet and crochet a doll.

Her husband was touched. Only one doll was in the boxβ€”that meant she'd been angry with him only once in 60 years. But what about all this money? he asked.

Oh, she said, that's the money 
I made from selling the dolls.

Old man and trophy wife

An old man walks into a car dealership with his young trophy wife on his arm. He walks up to the manager and says, "I want to make deal with you. If you can do three things that I can do, I'll buy your most expensive car with cash plus 10% extra for you. If you can't, I get the car for free."

The manager looks at old man, and figures he can do anything the old man could do. "All right, it's a deal. Let's go to my office."

They all walk into the manager's office. The old man walks over to his wife and rips open her blouse. He slowly starts caressing her breasts and sucks gently on both her nipples. He stops after a minute then motions to the manager to repeat. The manager can't believe his luck and begins caressing and sucking the young wife's nipples.

Next, the old man rips his wife's skirt off, and begins to stroke and lick her pussy. He stops after a minute and motions the manager towards his wife. The manager happily jumps in and begins to play with and lick the young wife's pussy.

The manager stops and says, "Well old man, what else you got?"

The old man smiles, pulls down his pants, and folds his dick in half.

The manager sighs, "What color do you want?"

My girlfriend was surprised and happy when I handed her my wallet before she went out with her girlfriends for her birthday. The look on her face soured however when she held the gooey cash in her hands.

I think she misunderstood me when I said I recently came into some money.

Guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of the strongest whiskey...

He drinks it quickly and then looked in his wallet. He asks for a second shot and drinks it quickly again before looking into his wallet, again. He does this for about 5 times when the bartender said, "hey bud, easy with the shots, by the way, what are you looking at in you wallet, are you short on cash? I can open up a tab for you" The guy goes, "no, no, not at all, I have money, but thanks anyways." The bartender goes, "so why are you looking into your wallet after every drink?" The guy answers, "I was looking at a picture of my wife, I figure I can go home when she starts to look good."

A Doctor, a banker, and a lawyer

3 very good friends, a doctor, a banker, and a lawyer, all had a mutual friend pass away. While at the funeral, the Doctor says "I wanna do something nice and unselfish for our friend," so he pulls out his wallet and throws a $100 dollar bill into the casket. The banker sees this and decides to do the same, he pulls out his wallet and throws a $100 dollar bill into the casket as well. The lawyer being the last one, says the same as well. So he pulls out his checkbook, takes the cash, and writes and leaves a check for $300.

The union worker

One day there was this gentleman that had a little extra cash. He decided that since it had been so long since he had been with a woman he would spend the money on a night with one. So he went to closest whore house and asked the pimp.
"How much for a night?"
"$100" says the pimp
"Since I am a good union man I have to ask, how much goes to the house and how much goes to the girl?"
"$80 to the house and $20 to the girl." Says the pimp.
The man is appalled and leaves, soon he finds another house and goes in and asks the pimp there.
"How much for a night"
"$100" says the pimp
Again the man asks "Since I am a good union man I have to ask, how much goes to the house and how much goes to the girl?"
"$20 goes to the house and $80 goes to the girl." Responds the pimp.
"Wow!" Exclaims the man, "that's great, in that case I will take that beautiful young girl right over there."
"Oh no," says the pimp, "you get Beatrice over there, she has seniority."

So the next door neighbours dog would not stop barking.

So one day this guy has a big win on a horse race and goes for a few drinks to celebrate, after a few too many pints decides he has had enough of this dog barking across the wall from next door every night. So he marches up to his neighbours door and offers to buy the dog for a big wad of notes. The neighbour accepts the cash and the guy brings the dog home where his wife was in the kitchen. What are you going to do with that dog." she asks.
I will let him live in the garden so that dick next door has to listen to MY dog barking all night he replied

Brains For Sale

A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'Brains for Sale.' He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, Truck Driver $40.00 a pound and Lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.'
So he asks the man behind the cash register, How come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00?
The man replies, Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?

A 5 year old girl watched the construction workers threw the window of her house

She watched for a couple of days when the construction workers saw her and waved for her to come over.
They asked if she wanted to work with them, and she told them yes.
They gave her a job picking up trash for a week, and on Friday have her an envelope with some cash.
She took it to the bank and the teller asked:
How'd you'd you get this money sweetie?

From working construction for the week!

How cool! Are you gonna work next week too?

That depends if Frank from the supply house gets his fucking shit together and delivers our fucking Sheetrock.

What are the funniest cash jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Cash? Well, here are the best Cash puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Cash pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes