Cases Jokes
101 cases jokes and hilarious cases puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cases that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Cases Short Jokes
Short cases jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cases humour may include short courses jokes also.
- A man filed a report to the police that his bag was stolen. Upon leaving the man's apartment, the officer found the man's bag at the bottom of the stairwell.
It was a brief case. - Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.
- BREAKING NEWS: A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
- Brexit's Worst-Case Scenario: Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovlong. Latervia. Byegium.. until EU reach the state of Germlonely.
- Thieves broke into my shop and stole 15 cases of red bull I don't know how these people sleep at night
- I showed the damaged remains of my luggage to my lawyer and said, I want to sue the airline. You don't have much of a case, he replied.
- What's a gay man's favorite planet? Earth, most likely. Unless he's personally interested in space exploration, in which case he might say Mars.
- A man lost his luggage so he took the airline company to court Apparently he lost his case
- I always knock on the front door of my fridge ... Just in case there is a salad dressing.
- airport police say that the number of people smuggling helium balloons in their luggage is under control. But cases continue to rise.
Share These Cases Jokes With Friends
Cases One Liners
Which cases one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cases? I can suggest the ones about court case and issues.
- I tried to sue the airport for losing my luggage. I lost my case.
- Tomorrow's date will be 11/11 Unless you're from the UK, in which case it'll be 11/11
- Did Johnny Depp just win the defamation case or was it… misheard?
- What do you call a detective who just solves cases accidentally? Sheer luck Holmes
- You should always bring two pairs of pants golfing. Just in case you get a hole in one.
- Do Russians only write in lower case letters? I mean, they hate Capitalism.
- Know a guy who took an airline to court over missing luggage... ...He lost his case
- Why does Superman have a lower case "s" on his chest? Because not all heroes wear caps.
- I have a friend always ready for anything.. his name is
Justin Case - Why did Johnny Depp lose his court case? Because he didn't have Heard immunity
- Why is a baker's dozen 13 instead of 12? In case one dozen come out right.
- Why do Soviets always write in lower-case? Because they hate Capitalism.
- Did you hear about the guy that went to court over a stolen bag? It was a brief case.
- I always knock before I open a fridge Just in case there's a salad dressing
- How many people does it take to make a mistake? In your case, two.
Pillow Cases Jokes
Here is a list of funny pillow cases jokes and even better pillow cases puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Hey did you hear about those corduroy pillow cases? They're making *headlines* everywhere!
- Have you read about the new corduroy pillow cases? Apparently, they're making headlines all over!
- Have you seen the hype about these cordroy pillow cases... They're making headlines everywhere
- Have you heard about the new Corduroy pillow cases? They have made all the headlines.
- What do bed detectives solve? Pillow cases
- Yo momma so fat She has to wear a pillow case as a face mask
- URGENT BREAKING NEWS... Corduroy pillow cases are making all the headlines.
- I quit my job at the pillow case factory.. Turns out it was a sham business.
- A husband and wife were found smothered in their bed... Detectives called it the pillow case...
- There was recently an investigation on a pillow. It was a pillow case.
Uplifting Cases Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about cases you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean scenario jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cases pranks.
Why did the detective lose his second job at the airport?
He kept cracking cases.
A children's museum SOUNDS like a good idea...
...but I would imagine it's hard to breathe inside those little glass cases.
What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?
In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out.
A lawyer is meeting the devil to make a deal
... and says, "Alright, I want to win my next 10 cases in a row, for settlements of no less than $1 million!"
The Devil replies, "Ok mister lawyer, but in return, I demand the souls of your wife and child for 1000 years!"
The lawyer scratches his head and says, "I don't get it, where's the catch?"
From my dad.
What do a pregnant woman, a burned pizza and a frozen beer have in common?
In all three cases somebody took it out TOO LATE
What is the difference between a woman and a forklift?
There is none. In both cases, if you don't have one, you unload by hand.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
My music teacher gave the saxophones a lecture on always keeping their cases with them.
Because unprotected sax is really unsafe.
Did you hear about the guy who was on trial for m**... to obscure court cases?
He got off on a technicality.
The wife comes home......
The wife comes to home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, twho bottles of whisky and two loaves of bread.
Husband: Are we expecting guests today?
Wife : Nope..
Husband : Then why did you buy so much bread?
What does walking a tight rope and receiving a b**... from your mother-in-law have in common?
In both cases it is strongly advisable to not look down
What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released?
An increase in battery cases.
The wife came home with four cases of beer,
*The wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, a litre of v**..., two litres of gin, two bottles of whisky and two loaves of bread*
*"Are we expecting guests?" He asked.*
*"No," she replied.*
*"Then why did you buy so much bread..!!
Guy tells a psychiatrist he has a fear of commitment.
Psychiatrist says, "There's no need to worry. I only do that in extreme cases."
Someone broke into my local corner shop and stole 30 cases of Red Bull last night
Honestly, I don't know how these people sleep at night
My wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of whiskey and two loaves of bread.
"Are we expecting guests?" I asked.
"No," she replied.
"Then why did you buy so much bread?"
Losing a wife can be hard.
In most cases, it's d**... near impossible.
What did the detective see when he responded to the string of crimes at local liquor stores?
A bunch of cold cases.
What does Monica Lewinsky going to the oval office and you cashing your paycheck have in common?
In both cases somebody leaves with a hand full of Bills.
Having a Party?
My wife came in from shopping with two 18-pack cases of lager, a case of bitters, six bottles of wine, four handles of v**..., two bottles of Bourbon, a case of club soda, ice and two loaves of bread. …
I said, Are we having a party? …
She said, No.
I said, Why did you buy two freakin' loaves of bread then?"
I don't get why all these people praise lawyers just for being U2 fans
Suddenly they're special for taking on Pro-Bono cases?
Why aren't the police making any neo-n**... arrests in m**... cases?
There's no dental records and all the DNA matches
A t**... had two cases at home...
he stuffed one of them with explosives and headed to the metro. Once inside a wagon he waited until the doors were closed and shouted "Infidels!! now you will die!". Fortunately, that was not the case.
With all these workplace s**... assault cases it makes me wonder.
How has Ron Jeremy gotten away with it all these years?
The Titanic
So, not many people know, back in the 1900's mayonnaise was only made in Europe. The titanic carried 1200 cases scheduled for delivery in the port of Vera Cruz as her next dock after her stop in New York. What would have been the first largest shipment sadly went down with the ship. The Mexicans were so upset over the loss they still celebrate a day of mourning which we know now as sinko de mayo.
Cases for phone are like condoms...
They protect it but it's just not the same.
Stanford University releases nearly 200 cases of s**... a**...
A limited edition craft beer made on campus
Deaf people always lose court cases...
They can't get a hearing.
How is the Copiapó mining accident and the Jared Fogle scandal the same?
In both cases some miners got s**...
Why is U-2's lawyer always broke?
All of his cases are pro-Bono
A warehouse worker...
A warehouse worker is getting ready to ship a bunch of cases of disgusting, prepackaged food, but he can't get it to fit properly on a skid.
The food was unpalatable.
Business can be generated any how!
An advocate goes to a gift shop 7 days before Valentine's Day.
He bought 40 beautiful cards and wrote - "To my love !! I hope you recognize! Meet me in the evening, "I love you"
The shopkeeper asked: What is the matter?
So the lawyer said - I sent such cards to the nearby colony on the last Valentine's Day. In a few days, I got four cases of divorce.
This time I am sending 40 cards
If Russia is the Motherland and Germany is the Fatherland...
Does that mean the world wars were two cases of domestic violence?
What to you call a rice crispy treat with a musical career and multiple s**... assault cases?
A wrapped cereal serial r**... rapper.
Losing a wife can be hard.
In some cases, impossible.
Why would China be a bad lawyer?
It wouldn't have many new cases
It's difficult, but Trump is still focused on keeping campaign promises during this pandemic.
Just a few more cases and Mexico will pay for that wall
Corona isn't Trump's fault, Ebola wasn't Obama's, Sars wasn't Bush's
And only a handful of h**... cases was Clinton's
Just got back from the supermarket, there was a guy rushing round the shop who had brought 15kg of paella rice, 5 cases of tequila, 8 sombreros and 12 piñatas
I thought to myself, Hispanic buying.
Oh those Russians
Suddenly there are a lot of covid cases in Russia. Vladimir needs to Putin a lot of restrictions on the people. Else the city will start Kremlin to pieces.
If we stop testing right now, we'd have very few cases, if any
-POTUS on covid
In light of the rising number of r**... cases, the police is advising women to carry a Tide pod in their purses at all times.
It's supposed to deter gents.
>!Had to change up the premise a bit, since in my language detergente - > deter gente, literally "to detain/arrest people". Glad it works out almost the same!<
Trump and Pense at a press briefing.
Trump: if we tested less, we'd have less cases .
Pense: fewer
Trump: I told you not to call me that in public .
Imagine if there were a pill you could take that let you fly, but the side effects gave you cancer
Cancer cases would skyrocket
Breaking News in North Korea: 11.47PM - 1 active Covid case detected !
Update at 11.48PM - 0 active Covid cases
Why does Antarctica have no Covid-19 cases?
Because they're already in ICEolation.
Warning.
Don't let them take your forehead temperature at the supermarket, because it erases your memory. I went for macaroni and cheese.
And came home with two cases of beer.
How did Canada get rid of all their COVID cases?
They sent all the Americans home to their own country.
If the Coronavirus really isn't about a beer...
Then why do I keep seeing cases of it?
My city decided to ban alcoholic drinks
Our health department started reporting 0 cases of corona
Initially the US was way behind other countries in COVID-19 cases.
Little did those countries know, the US had a Trump card.
For Halloween I was going to dress up as the rising Covid cases
But that doesn't seem to scare anyone
If this doesn't make you groan I don't know what will...
With 2nd lockdown looming in the UK, I saw a man with 4 cases of San Miguel, 5 paellas and 7 sombreros, I think Hispanic buying
If coronavirus isn't about beer...
why do I keep seeing cases of it?
Trump and Mike Pence are at a Covid press briefing.
Trump and Mike Pence are at a Covid press briefing.
Trump: We have the most cases because we have the most tests. If we tested less, we'd have less cases.
Pence: Fewer.
Trump: Mike, I told you not to call me that in public.
Why are r**... cases the hardest to solve ?
Because all of the DNA matches and there are no dental matches.
Corona isn't Trump's fault. Ebola wasn't Obama's. SARS wasn't Bush's.
...and only a handful of cases of h**... was Clinton's.
Positive Corona cases are way down in Texas over the last few days...
It requires power to perform the test.
I distrust people in two cases only:
- When I don't know them.
- When I know them.
Over 100 Coronavirus cases have been reported on the British Navy's flagship HMS Queen Elizabeth.
Other ships in the fleet have been told to keep their distance as it's a carrier.
A private eye recounts one of the cases he's worked in: "From the moment I saw her outside my office window, I knew she was in big trouble."
"Mainly because my office was located on the 7th floor."
With lockdown 3 nearly upon us...
I saw a guy with 12 cases of San Miguel, 5 Paellas and 7 Sombreros. I think Hispanic buying.
Several nuns in a convent contract a venereal disease...
...So the Mother Superior calls a general meeting, and announces "There are cases of gonorrhea in our midst".
One of the nuns whispers to the nun next to her, "That's nice, I'm getting sick of the Cabernet".
Archeologists say that in very rare cases, you can experience a mummy f**... in their crypt.
If you get the chance to experience this phenomena, you can call that toot uncommon.
Why are Red Neck m**... cases so Hard to Solve?
Because everyone has the same DNA and there are no Dental Records.
There's a detective who figures out crime by sitting on the toilet.
He solves cases by process of elimination.
A man goes to the doctir to have a bump checked
The doctor takes a quick look and goes "Yep, that's definitely a sting from the new poisonous bees. 8 out of 9 cases are fatal, but you're very lucky, because in your case it's bee nine."
