The Best 24 Carve Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Carve jokes. There are some carve cut jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these carve ornamental puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Carve Jokes and Puns

Whats the best way to carve a piece of wood?

Whittle by whittle

A self-absorbed man wants to get his bust sculpted.

He believes that one day he'll be very important, so he asks a sculptor to carve his bust out of marble to put into a museum in the future.

The sculptor says, "Sir, I think you're getting a head of yourself."

Request for a punchline

I'm not sure if this is the sub for it. Went through the rules but couldn't find anything on the matter.

So here goes.

Why did the skeleton carve the pumpkin?

Carve joke, Request for a punchline

How do you carve a huge chunk of wood?

Whittle by whittle.

If you carve a swear word into a weapon

Does that make it do curse damage?


What's the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.

Kurdish cunieform tablets

In ancient Kurdistan, they didn't have the material to make the cuneiform tablets they did down by the rivers in the Fertile Crescent, so they had to carve important documents into stone tablets.

That included contracts and treaties. There could be multiple signatories. For an invoice, for instance, it was possible to bill two Kurds with one stone.

Carve joke, Kurdish cunieform tablets

I carve all my pumpkins in September.

I suffer with premature ejackolantern

Why was O.J. allowed out of jail for thanksgiving?

He was the only one in his family who knows how to carve up white meat.

It's really too bad they had to carve up Mount Rushmore like that

It's beauty used to be unpresidented!

Why does a redditor carve a pumpkin?

To distract himself from the fact that he is too, just a lifeless round object putting on a fake smile when another person is near.

You can explore carve hew reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean carve oak dad jokes. There are also carve puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


If I carved a sheep from this tree trunk, would you buy it bro?

Wood ewe?!

In honor of both Halloween and the release of documents on JFK's assassination

I decided to carve a pumpkin that looks like JFK's widow. It's my first Jackie O'Lantern.

What do you call a chicken who likes to carve wood?

Chicken Whittle!!!

Why is building a blonde snow(wo)man so hard?

You'll have to carve the head.

How do people with speech impediments carve wood?

Whittle by whittle.

Carve joke, How do people with speech impediments carve wood?

My friend wants to carve a Venus statue from a tree.

That seems like it would take a while, woodentit?

My dad said i could carve pumpkins on the kitchen table. So i did as he said.

When he came back to check up on me, he yelled, you ruined the table! And you spelled pumpkins wrong!

How to make pumpkin? That's an odd topic

I gotta carve deep into it.


How to catch a polar bear

Step 1 go and carve a hole in ice.

Step 2 get a can of peas and pour the peas around the hole.

Step 3 when the polar bears goes to take a pea, kick it in the ice hole.

Why did Judas carve the turkey?

[Because he likes to stab things in the back](#s)

A sculptor was questioned about the figurehead he was carving.

"This figurehead only has one breast. Why didn't you carve the other one?"
"Oh! I forgot a bow-tit!"

What do you get when you carve your pumpkin in September?

Premature Ejack-O-Lantern.

Pirate ship

Why did the pirate carve a topless mermaid into the front of his ship?

Yar, cause wouldn't it be loverly

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the carve chop jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working carve sculptor piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes