Carton Jokes
79 carton jokes and hilarious carton puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about carton that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Carton Short Jokes
Short carton jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The carton humour may include short cardboard jokes also.
- A computer programmer goes to buy some bread. On his way out, his wife says, "and while you're there, get a carton of eggs".
He never returned. - I switched my kids to almond milk. Whenever people ask me if I think it's healthier I tell them "Nah, I just got tired of them asking why their picture is on the back of the milk cartons."
- When I'm buying milk, the clerk always says "Do you want your milk in a bag?" I always say "No just keep it in the carton."
I like to see who's awake at Target. :) - Just checked that the carton of milk in my fridge expired December 31. Unlike me, it had a date on New Year's Eve.
- A supermarket cashier asked if I want my milk in a bag... I said no, I prefer it staying in the carton.
- What is it called when you drop a carton of eggs and break all of them? An eggistential crisis.
- If I ever go missing... I would like my photo but on wine bottles instead of milk cartons. This way my friends will know where to look for me.
- What's the Difference between Australia and a carton of milk left out in the sun for 200 years? At least after 200 years, the milk grows some culture...
- Gotta love a dad joke Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'
- Shopping with dad... At the supermarket buying milk.
Cashier: "Would you like the milk in a bag?"
Old man: "Nah mate, just leave it in the carton"
Haha, classic dad joke!
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Carton One Liners
Which carton one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with carton? I can suggest the ones about cardboard box and carts.
- My brother just threw a milk carton at me How dairy.
- [OC] Why cant milk cartons walk? Because they lactose.
- My brother just hit me with a milk carton How dairy
- How does Ice-Cube drink his milk? Straight Outta Carton.
- Cashier: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" No, just leave it in the carton.
- I was walking down the road and some guy tipped a whole carton of milk on me... How dairy
- If Bruce Jenner goes missing tonight, will they put his face on a carton of half n half?
- How much milk do cars drink? A car-ton full
- Y'know when the carton says "pulp free" but then it has some pulp anyway? Pulp Fiction
- Milk cartons in Asia have missing planes on them instead of children.
- What has 20 butts and kills people? A cigarette carton
- I have empty cartons of milk in the fridge In case people want a black coffee
- Why can't milk cartons wear flip flops? Because they lactose
- How much does a dozen cars weigh? A carton
- Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she's doing.
Milk Carton Jokes
Here is a list of funny milk carton jokes and even better milk carton puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- They have these new cream corn containers that look like milk cartons... They call it Soft Pour Corn.
- So I'm kind of a photographer Whenever I hang out with a kid, their picture ends up on a milk carton
- It's almost Valentine's day It's almost Valentine's Day and I don't even have a date, even the milk carton has a date.
- You seem like the kind of person who always tried to open the wrong side of the milk carton in grade school.
- Q: Why did the blonde keep an empty carton of milk in the fridge?
A: In case she wanted black coffee. - I heard that milk helps babies grow but I don't think it's true I've lured three cartons over mine and all it's done so far is cry
- They say milk helps baby's grow.. But I've poured 3 cartons of milk on to this baby and all it's done is cry.
- A Spaniard is walking through a grocery store He spies a carton on the shelf labeled "Soy Milk"
He smiles to himself and says softly "yes you are" - What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass?
"Hey! Look at the cow's nest!" - What did one milk carton say to the other? What's up doodh!
(Doodh is milk in Hindi/Urdu)
Fun-Filled Carton Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about carton you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shopping cart jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make carton pranks.
Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,
"No, just leave it in the carton! "
P. S. thanks for the 4 people who sort by new. appreciate it.
Why did the lady keep staring at her glass of orange juice?
because the carton said "concentrate" on it.
Conveyor Belt
A man was shopping at his local supermarket where he selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
He unloaded his items on the conveyor belt to check out, and the cashier said "You must be single."
The young man was a bit startled by this proclamation,
but he was intrigued by the check-out girl's intuition, since he was indeed single. He looked at his six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about his selections that could have tipped off the cashier.
Curiosity getting the better of him, he said "Well, you
know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The cashier replied, "Cause you're ugly."
My visit to the patent office
I went into a patent office and told the clerk how I had an idea for a folding bottle, it's called a fottle.
She said that it was ridiculous, so I told her about my idea for a folding carton, it's called a farton.
She said that too is a dumb idea. I said well then I am not even going to tell you about my idea for a folding bucket!
Location Location Location!
A man goes to the famous Lucas Carton restaurant in Paris with his girlfriend and orders the 1928 Mouton.
The waiter returns with a bottle full of wine, pours a small amount in the glass for tasting.
The customer picks up the glass, smells the wine, and puts it down on the table with a thud. "This is not the 1928 Mouton."
The waiter assures him it is, and soon there are another twenty people surrounding the table, including the chef and the manager trying to convince the man that the wine is the 1928 Mouton.
Finally someone asks him how he knows that it is not the 1928 Mouton.
"My name is Phillipe de Rothschild, and I make the wine."
Finally, the original waiter steps forward and admits that he poured the Clerc Milon 1928. "I could not bear to part with our last bottle of 1928 Mouton. You know Clerc Milon, it is in the same village as Mouton, you pick the grapes at the same time, the same cepage, you crush in the same way, you put them into similar barrels. You bottle at the same time, you even use eggs from the same chickens to fine them. The wines are the same, except for a small matter of geographic location."
Rothschild beckons the waiter forward, and whispers to him, "When you return home tonight, ask your girlfriend to remove her underwear. Put one finger in one opening, another finger in the other, then smell both the fingers. You will understand what difference a small distance in geographic location makes"
A woman shopping at her local mart where....................
................................she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk
a carton of eggs
a quart of orange juice
a head of romaine lettuce
a 2 lb. can of coffee
a 1 lb. package of bacon
As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly"
A woman says to her engineer husband...
"Could you please go to the store for me and buy a carton of milk. And if they have eggs, get six."
A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk. The wife asks, "Why the heck did you buy six cartons of milk?"
"They had eggs."
So a woman is at a supermarket...
She is loading all her items on the conveyer belt for the chasier to scan.
Her items are; A litre of milk, a carton of eggs, and a head of lettuce.
The cashier looks at her and says, "Are you single?"
The customer, shocked at her assumption says, "Yes, I am. How did you know?"
The cashier says, "Because you're ugly."
If a t**... goes missing...
Should we put their picture on a carton of half and half?
A woman goes to a supermarket
A woman goes to a supermarket. After gathering her items, she goes to the checkout counter.
The cashier looks at the items she bought: a jug of milk, a carton of eggs, & a head of lettuce
The cashier says "You must be single"
The woman says "Oh my god, how did you know?"
The cashier responds:
"Because you're ugly."
A woman is putting her grocery items on the conveyor belt...
A woman is putting her items on the conveyor belt and the clerk sees, a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. The clerk looks at all of the items and says to the woman, "You must be single." The woman, shocked, says "Yes! How do you know this?" The clerk replies with
"It's because you're ugly"
You must be single.
A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. He says to the woman, "You must be single." The woman was surprised & replies, "Yes, how did you know?" The clerk answers, "Because you're ugly."
My grandpa would always tell me...
that when he was growing up, in rural Texas, his momma would give him $1 and send him down to the store. He'd come back with 2 loaves of bread, half a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, and a pound of pork. He says you can't do that now-a-days, way too many security cameras.
Do you think the t**......
Do you think the t**... that goes missing would object to their picture being on a carton of half and half?
When a transgender goes missing..
You put their photo on a carton of Half and Half.
I Went To The Patent Office.
I went to the Patent Office trying to register some of my inventions. I went to the main desk to sign in and the lady at the desk had a form that had to be filled out. She wrote down my personal info and then asked me what I had invented.
I said, "A folding bottle."
She said, "Okay. What do you call it?"
"A Fottle."
"What else do you have?"
"A folding carton."
"What do you call it?"
"A Farton."
She s**... and said, "Those are silly names for products and one of them sounds kind of crude."
I was so upset by her comment that I grabbed the form and left the office without even telling her about my folding bucket.
I had to throw away a whole carton eggs this morning.
They were all starting to grow a little fowl.
Which do you want me to bring in first?
Yesterday my parents are preparing dinner and my mom wanted me to get the chicken. When she opens the fridge and notices the egg carton is empty, she ask me to get the eggs as well. So then I asked her...
"Which one do you want me to bring in first, the chicken or the egg?"
I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars.
"Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For what?"
"To buy groceries," I told him.
"When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me one dollar, just *one dollar*, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, a can of coffee and a box of tea."
He shrugged and paused.
"Times have changed and ya can't do that now," he told me. "Too many f**...' security cameras."
A Man Walks Into The Kitchen And Grabs A Milk Carton
He sees the picture of a missing g**... the back of it. Then he shouts into the living room: "Jessica, come! You look so young in this picture!"
Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar.
Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who is a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, We don't serve your kind in here. One of the yogurt cartons says to him, Why not? We're cultured individuals.
This flood is devastating. Everything in my kitchen ended up sinking with the exception of a carton of ice cream and some root beer.
They stayed afloat.
They say drinking milk makes you stronger...
So I drank a carton of milk, and then I tried to push my fridge and it didn't even budge.
Frustrated, I decided to drink a bottle of v**..., and guess what happened?
The fridge moved itself
Driving to work...
Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him. Seconds later, a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. Fortunately, another officer had seen the carton in the road. The policemen stopped traffic and recovered the box. It was found to contain large upholstery tacks.
"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I am still going to have to write you a ticket."
Amazed, the driver asked for what.
The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."
*
This joke was email to me by a Comedy Defensive Driving class I took to take care of a speeding ticket (three years ago).
A pregnant woman asks the cashier for a pack of cigarettes...
The cashier immediately begins to berate her for such a poor decision. "I can't believe you are being so s**.... Knowing that you are pregnant! You shouldn't buy a single pack until after you've had the baby."
"You're right," the lady replied, "Give me a carton. I'm smoking for two now."
A wife asks her husband, Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and, if they have avocados, get six.
A short time later, the husband returns with six cartons of milk.
Why did you buy six cartons of milk? the wife asks.
He replies, They had avocados.
I pranked my roommate by taking his carton of eggs and rearranged them so he couldn't tell which egg was which.
He did not like my yolk.
A lady goes to the supermarket
She brings all her items to the cashier who looks at everything closely as he scans them: 6 eggs, two tomatoes, two cucumbers, one onion, and one carton of milk. After the last item he looks to her and says "you're single aren't you?"
She looks from her items back at him incredulously "Yes! How did you know?"
"Because you're ugly"
I told my wife to quit thinking outside the box.
So she bought a new refrigerator and did a crossword puzzle inside the carton.
An old man threw a carton of milk at me today.
How b**... dairy.
An old man is sitting with his wife on her death-bed. He asks her about the box containing three eggs and large pile of cash hidden under the bed.
"I'm ashamed to tell you that the contents of this box represents my infidelity to you." she admits with a guilty look. "Every time I went with another man, I'd place one of our chickens' eggs in the carton."
"Well Dear, don't feel bad. I suppose three times in fifty years is no big deal."
"The thing is...", she continues- "... there's the matter of the cash. You see, I also put the money in the box every time I sold a dozen."
What Are We Eating?
A can of tuna has a picture of a tuna fish
A pack of Ham has a picture of a pig
Turkey has a picture of a turkey
Egg carton has a picture of a chicken
Beef has a picture of a cow
Dogfood has a picture of a dog
I used to be able to go to the store with only a quarter and come back with a carton of milk, but now I have to pay five whole dollars.
Some people blame inflation, but personally, I blame the security cameras.
The checker at the grocery store asked me if I wanted my milk in a bag.
I told her to leave it in the carton.
I've probably told checkers that 100 times, and not once did they get the joke.
