Howlingly Hilarious Cartel Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What did Pablo Escobar say when he was ratted out by members of his own cartel?
"I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you Medellín kids"
What do you get when you cross a Drug cartel and a Mafia lord?
Probably killed.
"Oh man, Juan Valdez died this morning."
Ok, so it's not a 'joke' joke, but that's what you say. Maybe at work, at the bar with friends. Say it in a lull in the conversation. If you're really good, say it while scanning the paper or a news site.
Some people go, "oh!" And some people say, "wait, the Colombian coffee merchant?" and some people say, "oh my god, he *did?*" People always say something.
And then *you* say, "he did, he was assassinated. Someone from a drug cartel shot him with a golf gun. Bizarre story."
And you leave it there.
And if someone presses further, perhaps mention how terrible it must be to get shot by a golf gun.
And you'll eventually be asked, "what's a golf gun?"
To which you say, "don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan!"
A man with anxiety accidentally annoyed the cartel
He began seeing a psychiatrist because of hispanic attacks.
A blonde joins a Mexican cartel
The cartel sends her to Colombia to get coke and she brings Pepsi.
Do you know how much pressure did the Cartel put on the Columbian goverment in the 80s?
1 escobar
If the Mexican Drug Cartel had a slogan
It would be "Putting the 'Juan' in 'Marijuana'"
Why do cartels, always cut c**... with Tide?
It softens the blow!
Did you hear about the drug kingpin in Hawaii they call the El Chapo of the south Pacific?
He's the leader of the Sin-aloha cartel.
I got my Hair cut by the Mexican Mafia
But you Cartel.
What do an interrogation specialist and a drug cartel have in common?
They're both good at making people crack!
You can explore cartel gang reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cartel mexican dad jokes. There are also cartel puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Steve Harvey cartel joke!
Steve Harvey : Are you sure you read correctly? Should I go back? Tell me what to do!
Gabriela Tafur : You're forgiven, don't worry.
Steve Harvey : You've forgiven me but the cartel has not. They're not handling it the same way.
Wanted to go for a walk in the park today...
I had to end up asking a drug cartel member to smuggle me in!
[OC] What do Mexican kindergartners do on the last Friday of every month?
Car show and Cartel
Local gangstas got into the food industry.
Burritos a la cartel.
What does the Mexican cartel do after every m**...?
They move onto the next Juan.
My jokes are like diamonds.
The demand for them is manipulated by a cartel to create artificial scarcity and drive up profit margins.
What happens when the cartels execute a guy?
A hole in Juan
The Mexican cartel asked a hacker for help
Hacker: Sorry guys, I can't crack this.
Mexican cartel drones were found near the border in a failed attempt to smuggle drugs
I guess the drones got too high and crashed
