Following is our collection of funny Cart jokes. There are some cart grocery jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cart golf cart puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
It was just last week that I quit smoking cold turkey
They both can be used to carry vegetables....
An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.
Sometimes at Wal-Mart I like to fill my grocery cart up with wonderful toys. Then I try to find a mother with annoying kids and I hand the kids one of the toys. I make a quick get-a-way so the mother can deal with the aftermath.
Details are sketchy.
...'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of ...face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
The husband says, 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price....'
It softens the blow!
... if you are wondering how a package of condoms got in your cart,
you're welcome.
One day I accidentally overturned my golf buggy.
Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a villa on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, Are you okay, what's your name?"
"Its Jack , and I'm Okay thanks," I replied.
"Jack , forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest a while, and I'll help you get the cart up later."
"That's mighty nice of you," I answered, but I don't think my wife would like it."
"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty, very sexy and persuasive... I was weak.
"Well okay," I finally agreed, and added, "but my wife won't like it."
After a restorative brandy, and some creative putting lessons, I thanked my host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset."
"Don't be silly! Elizabeth said with a smile, She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Under the cart!"
He's running a hot dog cart in downtown Seoul. It turns out he just wanted a change of Korea.
A man walks into a grocery store and grabs a shopping cart. He grabs one egg, one tomato, one head of lettuce, one steak, one banana, one apple, and one of everything else in the store.
He walks up to the counter and starts putting his items on the belt. After the cashier gives him a weird look, she says, "You must be single."
He says, "I am. How did you know?"
She says, "Because you're extremely ugly."
You can explore cart conveyor reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cart aisle dad jokes. There are also cart puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Meat Patty.
(This was told to me by an old man I cut off with my grocery cart at the grocery store).
In the light - bulb isle with their cart turned upside down, fixing a squeaky wheel.
They were using a cart that had a child-size car attached to the front with the kid inside. While I was shopping, I noticed the dad started hitting the cart into the wall, it was a pretty bizarre sight to see. Before I could intervene, the kid yells,
Kid: DAAAAAD, stop!!! What are you doing?! Stooop!
Kid: Daaaad?! We're not going anywhere! What are you doing?
The dad finally stops after a minute, looks his son straight in the eye and says, as a matter of fact,
Dad: "I don't know son, you're the one who's driving."
I've never laughed so hard while eavesdropping, dad jokes are great. Happy Saturday!
...and had a cart full of groceries and a lovely bouquet of flowers. Coincidentally, my wife walked in just as I was checking out.
She noticed the flowers I was buying and jokingly said "Those had better be for me!"
The teenager at the register turned and said "Even if they weren't, they definitely are now!"
There were two colonels crushed.
He had a bad latitude
She's wearing very dirty clothes, smells bad and looks like she is in a horrible situation. She has 2 kids who look worse in her shopping cart
The store clerk says: Wow, are they twins?
Woman: No you idiot, they obviously look 2 years apart.
Clerk: Oh, they don't look alike. I just couldn't believe you had sex twice.
See you the same time next month.
And then she cackled like a witch who'd been smoking for 40 years most of her teeth missing, it was horrifying and hilarious at the same time.
Sometimes, the shopping cart has a mind of its own.
I wrap up my meat before I put it in the shopping cart.
He's all tapped out.
Mercator: Your map has too much distortion!
Mollweide: Looks like you have a problem with projection...
Now he can jump on his golf cart and run all the bases
Donald Duck
Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who is a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, We don't serve your kind in here. One of the yogurt cartons says to him, Why not? We're cultured individuals.
He gets a cart and visits each aisle picking out various items that he's never bought before. He takes his overloaded buggie up to the checkout and calmly watches each item beginning scanned. When it's over and the cashier asks for payment, he says, "Oh I don't have any money. This was just Target practice."
In a Chopin cart.
Today a group of people are protesting this rule by driving a huge cart through the park. At first I didn't like the idea but I changed my mind and jumped on the banned wagon.
While passing the beer cooler I picked up a case and put it in the cart.
She asked what was I doing and I said "10 dollars is cheap for a case of beer."
She replied, "We can't afford it, put it back."
So I put it back, and a few more Isles down, she picked up a 20 dollar jar of face cream and put it in the cart.
I asked, "How can we afford this?"
She replied, "Because this makes my face pretty."
I said so will a case of beer at half the price.
When a I see a cart without wheels yet, I usually fix it, but sometimes I let it slide.
Going down one of the aisles I noticed they had beer on sale $10 a case. I put it in the cart and she told me to put it back we couldn't afford it.
A couple aisles later she picks up a jar of face cream for 20 dollars.
I asked how come we can afford this and not the beer.
She said this makes my face pretty.
I said so will a case of beer for half the price.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and
so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of
face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look sexy and beautiful for you
when we're making love,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser ... at half the price.'
Alexa: "I ordered yesterday after I noticed you had 3 sheets left in your upper right cupboard. You're all good."
A hole in Juan
"I was walking along a street and happened to spy a cart full of watermelons. I was fond of watermelon, so I sneaked quietly on the cart and snitched one. I then ran into a nearby alley and sank my teeth into the melon.
No sooner had I done so, however, than a strange feeling came over me. Without a moment's hesitation, I made my decision. I walked back to the cart, replaced the melon -
And took a ripe one."
-Mark Twain
You're welcome
She asks him for a 50 dollar fishing rod, and he walks over and shows it to her. Then she thanks him and sticks a 100 dollar rod into her cart.
But the blind man isn't stupid, and when she rings it up, he feels the rod and he says "that will be 100 dollars for the fishing rod."
the woman is so embarassed at being caught stealing she rips a loud one.
"and that will be $5.89 for the duck call and $3.29 for the musk scent"
...but he sold it for a horse that did watercolors.
She was set to ignore him when she notices her shopping. There's nothing in her cart that would indicate her relationship status...
Curiosity gets the better of her and she answers him
"I am actually, but, how did you know?"
The drunk straightens up slightly and says "cos you're fuckin' ugly...!"
When there's a hole in one.
Details are sketchy.
Pulp Fiction
A man goes to the supermarket and puts a miniature milk bottle into his cart. Next he grabs a miniature loaf of bread and one miniature apple. At check out the cute cashier takes his miniature groceries and scans them one by one. Between the *beeps* she takes a good look at him and finally asks.
Cashier: Are you single?
Man: Yes I am, how did you know? Was it because of the miniature groceries?
Cashier: No, it's because you are ugly.
Barely legal and asian.
Police says the details are sketchy.
Me: "I'm really sorry. Are you alright?"
Midget: "I'm not happy!"
Me: "Well, which one are you?"
details surrounding the murder seem sketchy.
Police say the details surrounding the case are sketchy.
I think I am, I think I am
lemme know your best dad joke, i'll start. I was walking in the grocery store yesterday and a dad gave me his cart to use and said i left some gas in it for you
Or a parent
winnie the p u
My driving skills were below par.
Two housewives met in the local supermarket. One had filled her shopping cart with Vaseline. She explained, They are going to raise the price so, I'm stocking up.
The other woman replied, I'd never go to such extremes to save money. I'm not that tight.
No Collision! No Collision!
After a long day of work, he decided to play some sports with his friends. There was an accident, which caused the man to die.
This shows that miner errors can have huge consequences.
I told her that my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun.
He is very meticulous, agonizing over every little detail on the map. After months of work, he nervously presents it to his client, who says it's perfect and commissions another big project. As he leaves the meeting, the cartographer takes a deep breath, turns to his assistant, and says, "I was really worried he wouldn't like it, but that was a huge relief."
''"I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Well first, you add a kid's item to your cart.
And then another...
And then another...
Add infant item
The bartender asks Why the long face?
"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
He picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. "What are you doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only Β£10 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife. They continue shopping. Later on, she puts a Β£20 jar of face cream in the basket. "What are you doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. He said, "So does 24 cans of beer and it's half the price."
No sense of boundaries
The newlyweds and young parents in town discover that the fine sand in the nearby nature resort makes for excellent sandbox sand. So people go in to get a big cart of sand and make some cheap garden sandboxes for their children. The park rangers forbid this and nobody can steal sand anymore. This guy sneaks in with a big cart and scoops it full but on his way out he sees a park ranger and starts to quickly shovel the sand out of his cart. "Oh no sir! You won't get away with it that easily!" the park ranger barks,
"You can't dump that here so take it right back home with you!"
A Buddhist monk is walking through New York and sees a hot dog cart, he walks up and the vendor asks him what he wants. The monk replies:
Make me one with everything.
The vendor obliges and after handing over the hot dog tells him his total is $3.50. The monk gets out $5 and hands it over, the vendor pockets the money and motions for the next customer; the Buddhist asks why he hasn't gotten any change.
Change must come from within. Replies the vendor.
Somebody may have posted these punchlines before but I doubt ever together, besides; that was zen, this is tao.
A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask, "Excuse me, did you want that cart?" "No," he answered. "I'm only after one thing." As he walked toward the store, he heard her murmur, "Typical male."
The monk says: "Make me one with everything."
I've already pulled him and the cart up to past the check out folks so I could start putting bags in the cart. The women in the lane over says, Oh hello there handsome! Obviously talking to my son, however I shout back, Oh hey! How's it going?
The woman checking us out laughed so hard she had to take a step back and the woman I said it to was so red faced and chuckling she couldn't really say much! The few folks in line began laughing too so it was pretty funny and the epitome of dad joke! Ha! I've made it!
It was getting pushed around.
"Back in the day, you could walk into a grocery store with $ 2 and leave with a full shopping cart. But nowadays they have security cameras everywhere!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cart wagon jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cart tesco piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.