Carrying Passenger Jokes
8 carrying passenger jokes and hilarious carrying passenger puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about carrying passenger that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uproarious Carrying Passenger Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What is a good carrying passenger joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Impact of a job change.
A taxi passenger touched the driver on shoulder to ask something
Driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath & Stopped few centimeters from a shop
The driver said: "Don't ever do that again man! You scared me!"
Passenger apologized and said: "I didn't realize a little touch would scare you so much"
Driver replied: "Sorry, it's not your fault
Its my 1st day as a Cab driver...I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies for last 25 yrs
A vulture is boarding an airplane carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess says, "I'm sorry sir, there is only one carrion allowed per passenger."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Impact of Job Change!!
One day, A taxi passenger touched driver on his shoulder to ask something. Driver screamed, lost control of car, went up on footpath & stopped few inches from a shop.
The passenger apologised & said: "I didn't realise that a little touch would scare you so much"
Driver replied: Sorry it's not your fault, it's my 1st day as a cab driver, I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies from last 25 years.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Helicopter c**...
A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly loses engine power and the aircraft begins to descend
The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to get to them.
Just then a man gets out if his seat and runs over to open the door.
The pilots screams at him, "Didn't you hear what I said, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat as long as the doors remain closed?!!!"
"Of course I heard you", the man replied, "but it's also designed to fly, and look how good that one worked out!!!"
Plane Trip
A plane is crashing, carrying a Mexican, A Frenchman, and an American, and the pilots need to lighten up the load. So they ask the passengers to toss unimportant items out of the aircraft. The frenchman picks up a croissant and says "we have to many of these in our country, " and throws it out the window. the Mexican picks up a Burrito and says " we have to many of these in our country," and throws it out the window. The American picks up the Mexican and says "Here, we have to many of these in our country," and throws him out the window.
Topical Jokes for 1/12
The White House said that not sending a senior official to the Paris liberty march was a mistake. Joe Biden was supposed to fly there, but he's not allowed on a plane unless he's accompanied by an adult.
United Airlines is considering outsourcing jobs to cut costs. From now on, one lucky passenger will get to fly the plane, while being fed instructions from a customer-service rep in Mumbai.
In North Carolina, a woman accidentally shot her husband when he surprised her with breakfast in bed. The woman then saw he was carrying breakfast from Taco Bell -- and shot him again.
A plane is flying over the Atlantic
When suddenly the speaker comes on, it's the pilot, "A minor delay has occurred, we will be one hour late due to an engine faling, please do not panic this is a minor problem". The passengers are a litte worried but people carry on as normal. An hour later the speaker comes on again, "The flight will be delayed by two hours as our second engine has failed, do not worry this is a minor problem.". People are starting to get nervous now and talk among theirselves. Another hour later the speaker comes on yet again, " Ladies and gentlemen i'm afraid to announce we have lost our third engine and have only one remaining, this will delay us by five hours". The plane is dead silent with worry, when suddenly an Irish man at the back of the plane speaks up, "Well let's hope we don't lose another or we'll be up here all night!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Etiquette for beginners
[adapted from a scene in the film Carry on Cruising]
A steward on a cruise ship is hesitating outside a door to a cabin with a p**... of coffee on a tray. The chief purser doing his rounds sees him and asks him what he's doing.
"Well sir, it's like this", the steward begins, "I'm completely new to this job and I'm a little worried as to what to do if I find passengers in a *delicate* state in their cabin, you see?"
The purser smiles and puts his hand on the young man's shoulder. "Ah", he says, "you just need to learn how to deal with such situations with a bit of dignity and blindness. I once knew a steward who walked in on a beautiful young woman completely n**... in the shower. Well, he just put the tray down on the side, said 'Excuse me, sir' and left without missing a beat. Do you see?"
The steward thinks for a moment and smiles "Yes, yes! That's very good that! I'll remember that!"
"Well, what are you waiting for then?" says the purser pointing out the still closed cabin door. "Get on with it, before that coffee gets cold"
The steward takes a deep breath, puffs out his chest, knocks and opens the door. Inside, he finds a newly wed couple on their honeymoon, in bed and very passionately engrossed in each other, and they clearly haven't noticed his arrival.
He hesitates before remembering what the purser told him, and decides to interrupt: "Hello there, which of you two fellahs takes sugar then?"
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