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Carrot Jokes

150 carrot jokes and hilarious carrot puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about carrot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with these hilarious carrot jokes! From carrot cake to carrot top to Carrot One Direction, we've got plenty of fun carrot puns and jokes to make you smile. You'll also find great quips about cucumbers, potatoes, and eggplants!

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Funniest Carrot Short Jokes

Short carrot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The carrot humour may include short turnip jokes also.

  1. I couldn't find the thingy that peels potatoes and carrots, so I asked my kids if they'd seen it... Apparently, she left me two days ago...
  2. What is the difference between a unicorn and a carrot? One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.
  3. "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.." - Newton's Law "Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad." - Cole's Law
  4. Scene at the supermarket... Customer: Pardon me, but are these vegetables genetically modified?
    Clerk: No, sir. Why do you ask?
    Carrot: Yeah, why do you ask?
  5. Two Snowmen are in a field... ...and one turns to the other and says "Yeah, you're right, it DOES smell like carrots."
    My favorite joke - short, hysterical, and perfect for any occasion.
  6. I spent an hour looking for that thing that peels the potatoes and carrots. Then I realised she's at work.
  7. What did one snowman say to the other on the winter solstice? "Do you carrot all about the cold?"
  8. What's the square root of Minecraft? There's three, actually. The potatoes, the carrots, and the beetroots.
  9. Why was the snowman looking through the carrots in the fridge? He was trying to find his nose!
  10. Two rabbits are eating carrots ...from farmer Brown's field. One turns to the other and says, "This carrot is pithy." The other rabbit says, "I guess so. I just pithed on it."

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Carrot One Liners

Which carrot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with carrot? I can suggest the ones about radish and potato.

  1. What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot
  2. How do you make gold soup ? Put 24 carrots in it
  3. how do you catch a rabbit? Hide behind a bush and make a noise like a carrot.
  4. What was the snowman doing in the carrot section of the grocery store? Picking his nose
  5. What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit Farts
  6. What did the rabbit use to propose to his girlfriend? A 24-carrot ring
  7. What do you call a tomato that self-identifies as a carrot? A transplant.
  8. One snowman says to the other snowman, "do you smell carrots?"
  9. Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
  10. Carrots may improve your vision, But alcohol doubles it.
  11. What did the religous carrot say to the cabbage? Peas be with you.
  12. What do you call a carrot that talks back to you? A fresh vegetable.
  13. I thought I found a mass grave of snowmen. Until I realised it was a field of carrots.
  14. Some people don't like vegetable puns... but I don't carrot all about their opinions.
  15. What type of jewelry does the Easter Bunny wear? 24 carrot

Carrot Up Jokes

Here is a list of funny carrot up jokes and even better carrot up puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man flashes a woman at the grocery store She says " Oh my gosh ! Thank you ! I almost forgot to get baby carrots
  • I saw a disgusting thing at the grocery today. A snowman rummaging through the carrots?! I mean picking your nose in public? Come on.
  • My dad rewards me when I earn a good report card, but any C s are punished with unbearable dad-jokes. He likes to call it the carrot and schtick method of parenting.
  • Police were called to the scene of a suspected mass grave of snowmen upon further investigation, it was determined to be a carrot patch
  • The Grim Reaper appeared beside me when I was chopping some carrots in the kitchen. He took his scythe and started chopping the carrots with me....
    Very scary, when you are dicing with death.
  • My 7 year old sister just told me this Friend: Why do people call you a carrot?
    Me: Because I do not *carrot* all
  • I heard U.S. Senator Herb Kohl once wrote a bill that would standardize the ratios of carrots, mayonnaise, and cabbage in his favorite side dish. He called it Kohl's Law.
  • A bully, a baby, and a carrot walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have, Mr. Boehner?"
  • What happens when you feed a hen too many carrots? You get orange chicken!
  • The UK have just introduced a new law Whenever you buy Mayonaise it's now compulsory that you buy Cabbage and Carrots with it. They're referring to it as Coles Law

Rabbit And Carrot Jokes

Here is a list of funny rabbit and carrot jokes and even better rabbit and carrot puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was going to tell some rabbit jokes But people tend not to carrot all about them.
  • How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses
  • What does the rich rabbit wear? 24 carrots
  • How do you catch a rabbit? Lie in a field and make carrot noises.
    Thanks, I'll grab my coat.
  • Why does a rabbit like diamonds? Because they are measured in carrots.
  • How to know if a rabbit is depressed? He no longer carrot all about his life
  • How do you find a lost rabbit? Make a carrot noise.
  • What did one rabbit say to the other? Wanna play hide the carrot?
  • What do rabbits eat when listening to Bruno Mars? 24 Carrots
  • What did the rabbit say to the carrot? It's been nice gnawing you.

Snowman Carrot Jokes

Here is a list of funny snowman carrot jokes and even better snowman carrot puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a snowman without a carrot? Nobody nose.
  • Why was the snowman so upset? Because somebody had stolen his nose and the police didn't carrot all!
  • I was having dinner with a snowman... The other day I was having dinner with a snowman, and he says "Am I crazy, or does it smell like carrots in here?"
  • How can you tell if it's a snowman or a snow woman? The snowman has two carrots
  • By popular demand, a joke from the perspective of a woman "The best part about 69ing a snowman is the carrot"
  • What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot? Get outta my face!
  • A snowman tells another snowman. Snowman 1: Guess what?
    Snowman 2: What?
    Snowman 1: You smell like carrots
    ps. not sure if this joke has been posted before
  • Why did Frosty the snowman get arrested? He was caught in a playground with his carrot exposed

Carrot Top Jokes

Here is a list of funny carrot top jokes and even better carrot top puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you make a ginger snap? Call them "carrot top"
  • Why did Carrot Top go to the hood? To get props.
  • I'm not a huge fan of Carrot Top.. ..but I give him props!

Carrot Cake Jokes

Here is a list of funny carrot cake jokes and even better carrot cake puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why don't snowmen like carrot cake? Because they think it tastes like boogers!
  • My grandma told me that hair is the secret ingredient in her famous carrot cake She says it tastes better when you put real keratin
Carrot joke, My grandma told me that hair is the secret ingredient in her famous carrot cake

Cheeky Carrot Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about carrot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vegetable jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make carrot pranks.

What did the carrot say to the wheat?

Lettuce rest, I'm feeling beet.

Can't remember carrot joke

I remember seeing this one joke where a mom wanted her kid to eat his carrots and he had a funny comeback... but I can remember it.
It's not the one where he says, "Because I hate them!" and the mom replies, "But they like you" and he replies "Because I don't eat them"

Witty Answer from a Four Year Old

Mom just informed me that I said this when I was little. The original punch line is "Make a sound like a carrot".
MOM: "How do you catch a rabbit?"
ME: "Have someone throw one at you."

A man goes to his doctor because he has a carrot in his ear..

He asks the doctor, "I don't understand, how can this happen? What's wrong with me?!" The doctor pauses for a moment and then says, "Well, you're not eating right."

So a guy walks into the doctor's office with a celery stick in each ear and a carrot in each nose nostril...

He mumbles to the doctor "I think there's something wrong." to which the doctor replies "I don't think you're eating right."

A cabbage and a carrot get into a race, who wins?

The cabbage, it's a head

"What Did?" by Shel Silverstein

What did the carrot say to the wheat?
'Lettuce' rest, I'm feeling 'beet.'
What did the paper say to the pen?
I feel quite all 'write,' my friend.
What did the teapot say to the chalk?
Nothing, you silly . . . teapots can't talk!

What do you call a blood vessel with a carrot jammed into it?

A carroted artery.

What did the carrot say to the apple?

Deep

After stewing in his emotions, emo veg comes to the conclusion that the root of the world's problems is that people don't seem to carrot all.

Why is rust on a car orange?

Because its true car-rot

Why did the vegetable kill himself?

He didn't carrot all.

What is the square root of a carrot?

Carrots don't have square roots; their roots have a circular cross section.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call a really mean carrot?

A vegeta-BULLY...

A woman goes to the doctor...

A woman goes to the doctor with a raspberry in her left nostril, a string bean in her right, a carrot in her right ear and a banana in her left. The woman says
"Doctor, I don't fell so well."
And the doctor replied
"Well for one thing, you're *definitely* not eating correctly."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I have a vegan girlfriend...

and she's nice and all, but sometimes I think she just looks at me like a piece of carrot

Red sky at night; shepherds delight, red sky in morning; shepherds warning

Minced lamb, potato, onion and carrot; shepherd's pie.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Loose women

3 women are sitting at a bar conversing over lady stuff.
Eventually the first woman says, "I'm so loose I can fit an entire carrot up there.."
The second woman chimes in and says, "yes, well I'm so loose I can fit an entire baseball bat up there.."
The Third woman slides down the bar stool

Sometimes when you eat too much carrot,

you turn orange and you run for presidency.

A man walks in to a green grocer's

"Excuse me ma'am, are these carrots genetically modified?"
"No" interrupted the carrot.

They say carrots and good for your eyesight...

but my body isn't! (I swear I don't hate myself)

A guy with a carrot in his nose, an eggplant in one ear and a cucumber in the other, goes to his doctor...

"Doc, what's wrong with me?"
"Well, it appears as if you have an eating disorder."

What's the difference between carrots and guns?

I don't ever consider putting a carrot in my mouth.

How many dancers does it take to peel a carrot?

five...six...seven...eight! (from 'Cooks vs. Cons')

Bruno Mars is the best levitating vegetable magician I've ever seen.

He can do 24 Carrot Magic in the Air

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's the difference between a fortune teller and a farmer with r**... bunnies

One deals with tarot cards while the other deals with carrot tards.

I cut up too many carrots.

You could say I got carrot away.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I had a vegetarian girlfriend who was into b**....

She did not carrot all if I beet her.

My friend made a flute out of a carrot...

It was impressive, and if you gave her some sheet music, she would show you just how well it played.
My other friend, who's a bit competitive, made an oboe out of corn. He said he could play anything by ear.

What did the farmer say to the excited vegetables?

Don't get carrot away!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

I caught my sister m**... with a carrot

I was annoyed because I was gonna eat that later...
And now it's gonna taste like carrot....

A guy starts his first day at a bakery...

The boss says, "We're a healthy, whole-food bakery, so we put vegetables in every type of bread that we make." He shows the new guy to the back room, where there are rows of file cabinets with pictures of vegetables on them.
"Here's where we keep the carrot dough," the boss says, opening a file drawer with a picture of a carrot on it. "And here's the zucchini dough."
"But what's this one with the picture of Kevin Spacey on it?" The new guy asks.
"Oh," the boss responds, "That's the pea dough file."

What do you call a mildly aggressive but angsty orange vegetable?

A beta carrot teen.

On my way to work, I saw a cabbage talking to a carrot

My drug dealer didn't lie

Two carrots are walking together down the street,

One of them stepped onto the road and ended up getting run over by a car. The other carrot calls 911 and they take him to the hospital. After hours of waiting the doctor comes out
and says, "I have good news and bad news, the good news is your friend is going to make it, the bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life"

A mother takes her crying baby to the hospital.....

The doctor gets out his little exam light and ends up pulling a Lima bean out of the kids left ear, a baby carrot out of one nostril, a Skittle and two peas out of the other nostril and a hunk of pear out of the kids' right ear.
The mom cringes as she watches all of this, then asks the doctor what's wrong with the kid.
The doctor shrugs a bit and says, "I'm not sure yet, but for one thing, he certainly isn't eating right."

I'm painting a still life version of The Last Supper with all the apostles as vegetables

Judas is carrot.

Why is it so hard to train termites?

Because for a termite the stick IS the carrot

The principle difference's between Murphy's law and Cole's law

Murphy's law postulates that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
Cole's law primarily consists of thinly shredded cabbage, carrot and mayonnaise.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Carrot Stuck....

Is the past tense of Carrot Stick.
Unfortunately, my wife did not appreciate this as she was gesturing to her t**... and coughing.

My carrots...

...think I take too many drugs.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Did you guys hear about the carrot with a f**...?

He kept sticking his roots in between potatoes

The man that pulled a rabbits teeth out

A rabbit poked a man and asked
Give me carrots, I want carrots
The man ignored the rabbit
The rabbit poked the man again
Give me carrots, I want carrots
The man is annoyed at this point, but continues to ignore the rabbit
Again rabbit pokes the man
Give me carrots I said
The man grabs the rabbit and pulls out the rabbits teeth
Rabbit pokes the man again and says
Give me carrot juice

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What happened when the hommus shot the carrot?

It was charged with hommuscide.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

A man is out and buys a h**....

While going down on her, he notices a piece of carrot. He removes it then goes about his business. He then finds a pea.
He holds it up and asks, "Miss? Are you sick or something?"
To which her response was, "No. But the last guy was."

Why did the carrot start hanging out with the mushroom?

He looked like a fun guy

Did you hear about the carrot detective?

He got to the root of every case.

"You're ginger!" said the parsnip to the carrot.

"No, I'm definitely a carrot."

Did you hear about the new "carrot" collaboration between Apple and Dunkin Donuts? They say it's going to be amazing, but unfortunately

iDonut carrot all.

LPT: You are over 100x more likely to cut your face with your razor while shaving

than you are with a carrot.

Why was the carrot afraid of the science test?

Because he was being grated.

Did you know most snowmen are actually snow women?

That's why you only see one carrot.

Two carrots sit on a roof..

Says the one to the other: Watch out, there's a helichop-chop-chop-chop-...

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Why was the carrot unable to get dates?

He was a beta.

Carrots have a hard time getting rid of bad habits.

Its a deeply rooted issue.

What did the carrot say to the cucumber that owed him money?

Hey man, you knew the dill. Now you're in a pickle, and I couldn't carrot all.

Remember when Bugs Bunny shot someone because he wouldn't stop coughing?

He did not carrot all.

What happens when the nihilistic veggie molded?

He didn't carrot all

Carrot joke, What happens when the nihilistic veggie molded?

jokes about carrot