Carrion Jokes
81 carrion jokes and hilarious carrion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about carrion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Carrion Short Jokes
Short carrion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The carrion humour may include short cemetery jokes also.
- A hyena walks up to the check in counter in an airport... ... and throws a rotting gazelle onto the desk. The counter person shouts "what is this?" and the hyena says "it's my carrion".
- A vulture is boarding an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry sir, there is only one carrion allowed per passenger."
- I wrote this joke, tell me what you think. A vulture was boarding an airplane but was stopped at the gate and told he couldn't board. They said his carrion was too large.
- I tried getting on a plane with a dead moose once. The attendant said I had to check it as luggage. I said, no it's carrion.
- A man brought a dead animal onto a plane... When the flight attendant asked what he was doing, he simply replied, "It's my carrion luggage!"
- Why are flights with crows often delayed? Because they bring a lot of extra carrion luggage.
- A man walked onto a plane, holding a vulture. The stewardess asked "What the heck is that?"
He said "It's my carri-on luggage"
*sorry sorry sorry* - Did ya' hear about the bear that tried to fly from British Columbia to New York? They wouldn't let him bring his carrion.
Sorry. - Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture board his flight? The airline wouldn't let him check his carrion
- Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane? You're only allowed one carrion.
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Carrion One Liners
Which carrion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with carrion? I can suggest the ones about morgue and fowl.
- Why didn't the buzzard have any luggage on the airplane? Because he ate his carrion.
- Why don't vultures check their luggage? They prefer carrion.
- Why do vultures find it easy to fly? They only ever have carrion baggage.
- Did you hear Delta is no longer allowing road kill in checked bags? It's only carrion
- What do buzzards in Kansas eat? Carrion, my wayward son.
- Why did the vulture fly United Airlines? Because they allow 1 free carrion
- Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight? He brought the wrong carrion.
- What does a raven bring on an airplane? A carri-on bag
- What is a vulture's favorite song? Carrion My Wayward Son
- Why did the vulture check his baggage at the airport? He wasn't allowed any carrion
- Why are condors such efficient fliers? All their luggage is carrion.
- Why didn't the airline passenger check his vulture? Because it's a carrion bird.
- Why do vultures make good Brits? Because they eat common carrion.
- When vultures fly... ...do you think they bring carrion luggage?
- Why do vultures hate flying? Because they have to pay extra for Carrion!
Budum tsssss
Carrion Birds Jokes
Here is a list of funny carrion birds jokes and even better carrion birds puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I met a vulture trainer on a flight. He said the birds travel better if you let them bring their carrion.
Giggle-Inducing Carrion Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about carrion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean graveyard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make carrion pranks.
As migration approached, two elderly vultures
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.
"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
A man brings his dead dog along for an international flight
The check-in attendant tells him:
"Sir, I'm sorry, but you're going to have to leave either your dog or your backpack."
"What? Why can't I bring both?"
"Rules say only one carrion per customer."
A young vulture is tired of eating nothing but scavenged meat...
So he says to his father, "Dad, can't we eat something else for a change? I'd like to try some vegetables."
The father is outraged, claiming that vultures do not eat vegetables, that is not their way. But the young vulture doesn't give up. He asks again the next day, and the next, and the next. Eventually the father relents, and agrees on a compromise. The young vulture could eat some vegetables, but only if he finished his meat first.
The following day, the young vulture asks what they will be eating that evening. The father replies, "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peas when you are done."
So the other day I tried to bring 2 dead raccoons on an airplane...
but the lady at the desk told me a second carrion costs extra.
Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture to board his flight?
#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.
*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*
*
My girlfriend got upset when we saw a dead deer on the side of the road.
I asked her not to carrion about it
Why don't vultures eat at restaurants?
They don't allow carrion.
What did the flight attendant say to the vulture who dragged two dead raccoons onto the flight?
I'm sorry sir, but you're only allowed one carrion
What did the lieutenant vulture say to the enlisted vultures who stopped eating a dead cow to salute?
Carrion.
A man walks onto a plane...
... He has a dead rabbit under each arm. The stuardess turns: "I'm sorry, sir. You're only allowed one item of carrion"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are commercial flights always cheaper for vultures?
All their luggage is carrion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young buzzard is bringing his new boyfriend home...
He turns to his dad and says "So, what are we having for dinner?"
The father bird clears his t**....
"Carrion, my gay bird son. There'll be peas when you are done."
Why was the vulture kicked off of the airplane?
Because he ate a passenger's carrion!
When checking in for his flight, the wedge-tailed eagle was asked: Would you like to check some baggage or purchase an in-flight meal?
The eagle replied: No thanks. I'll just have my carrion.
What did the vulture police officer tell the gathering crowd about the roadkill?
Carrion people
A man walks into an airport with a pet vulture
He approaches the terminal gates, but airport security stops him.
"Your vulture has to be checked in, and shipped with the luggage." Security said.
The man replied "What do you mean checked in? This is my carrion bird."
An eagle checks in at the airline ticket counter with a dead rabbit under one wing. The agent asks, "do you want to check the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."
Tried to get on the plane with 3 dead squirrels...
... Apparently I'm only allowed two pieces of carrion.
A man and his son go for a walk through the woods and get separated.
After frantically searching for his son, the man finally finds him standing over a dead animal and poking it with a stick.
Dad, what's this? The boy asks
Carrion, my wayward son.
A vulture decided to fly south for the winter...
He was horrified to learn that the airline would only allow one carrion per customer
I'm interested in the recent increase of dead animals on United flights
Have they updated their carrion policy?
A buzzad walks on to a plane
A buzzard walks on to a plane with a kill in each claw. The stewardess stops him.
"One carrion per person."
Buzzards on a plane
Two buzzards were at the check in counter at their local airport answering the usual questions. The desk agent finally noticed the piece of rotting gazelle they had brought with them.
"Are you going to check that?" the agent asks.
"No. That's my carrion."
A lioness makes a nice kill, but has to catch a flight soon after.
There isn't enough time to eat it all, and and she doesn't want to waste so much good meat, so she just decides to bring it with her.
She gets to the airport, checks in and gets her boarding pass. She's about to go through security when she's stopped. Sorry ma'am, the guard says, we don't allow carrion.
Why are vultures boycotting the airlines?
Why are vultures boycotting the airlines?
They keep raising the price of carrion.
A man walks up to the counter at the airport holding a dead possum. The attendant asks Sir, will you be checking that?
The man replies No, it's carrion.
I'll never fly delta again.
I tried to board with two dead comfort cats and they said I could only have one carrion.
A vulture walks into an airplane with a rotting corpse.
The flight attendant screams, You cannot bring that on this plane. The vulture says, It's just my carrion.
A zombie is checking for an overseas flight...
At the security check the TSA is scanning his luggage, running him through metal detectors, etc. Finally, an attendant stops him at the gate.
"Sir, you're absolutely crawling with bugs. You're going to have to store those un your suitcase or ship them separately."
"Oh, no, it's okay." He says. "These are my carrion beetles."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Vultures always fly first class.
Move or they'll eat your carrion.
Two crows were fighting and another crow came and broke it up.
"Stop carrion on like that," the third crow said.
A vulture arrives at the airport check-in. He's carrying a dead rabbit under one wing.
"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."
A vulture and his wife are going on vacation to the Bahamas.
With many large suitcases packed, they arrive at the airport and saunter up to the check-in counter. The agent weighs, tags, and sends each bag off, until she notices one giving off a foul smell.
"Sir, are you checking this bag?" The agent asks.
"No, sorry, that's our carrion"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A capricious vulture asked his father "Hey Dad, whatcha eating??"
"Carrion, my wayward son."
A vulture walked into an airplane,
dragging some mangled roadkill in its beak. The stewardess looks down in distaste, and asks Wouldn't you prefer to put that in the checked luggage compartment?
And the vulture said No thanks. It's carrion.
A vulture is picking at some roadkill on the street
A cop comes up to the vulture and shouts, "Hey! What are you doing?"
Startled, the vulture responds, "I'm just eating here."
"Oh," the cop says, "carrion"
The only flight available was on a plane transporting corpses. I needed to get home so I bought a ticket but they refused to let me on the plane.
I think that the problem was my carrion.
A man was walking through the desert and passed a group of vultures feasting on a dead animal.
The vultures stopped eating and looked at him, obviously disturbed.
The man casually commented "Carrion."
Odin is planning to take a flight, so he packs his bags and heads to the airport. One of the staff says "sir, you'll have to keep your pet in the hold..."
Odin laughs and says, "no, this is a carrion raven."
