The Best 51 Carrion Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Carrion jokes. There are some carrion vulture jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these carrion carcass puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Carrion Jokes and Puns

As migration approached, two elderly vultures

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.

When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.

"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."

A man brought a dead animal onto a plane...

When the flight attendant asked what he was doing, he simply replied, "It's my carrion luggage!"

Did ya' hear about the bear that tried to fly from British Columbia to New York?

They wouldn't let him bring his carrion.

Sorry.

Carrion joke, Did ya' hear about the bear that tried to fly from British Columbia to New York?

A vulture is boarding an airplane carrying two dead raccoons.

The stewardess says, "I'm sorry sir, there is only one carrion allowed per passenger."

A hyena walks up to the check in counter in an airport...

... and throws a rotting gazelle onto the desk. The counter person shouts "what is this?" and the hyena says "it's my carrion".


So a vulture is in line to board a plane...

and he's got a deer carcass in his claws. The TSA agent turns to the vulture and says, "That deer carcass smells horrific, surely you are going to check it on?" The vulture looks at the agent, smiles and says, "Nope, it's carrion."

A vulture is boarding a plane with a dead raccoon under each wing, when the gate attendant stops him and says, "I'm sorry, sir..."

"...but you're only allowed *one* carrion."

Carrion joke, A vulture is boarding a plane with a dead raccoon under each wing, when the gate attendant stops him

A vulture boards a plane

A vulture boards a plane and sits in his seat. Almost immediately he pulls the smelliest, nastiest looking meat from a bag.

Seeing this the stewardess asks "sir, what is that?"

The vulture replies "oh this? It's just my carrion"

A young vulture is tired of eating nothing but scavenged meat...

So he says to his father, "Dad, can't we eat something else for a change? I'd like to try some vegetables."

The father is outraged, claiming that vultures do not eat vegetables, that is not their way. But the young vulture doesn't give up. He asks again the next day, and the next, and the next. Eventually the father relents, and agrees on a compromise. The young vulture could eat some vegetables, but only if he finished his meat first.

The following day, the young vulture asks what they will be eating that evening. The father replies, "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peas when you are done."

Why do vultures find it easy to fly?

They only ever have carrion baggage.

What do buzzards in Kansas eat?

Carrion, my wayward son.

You can explore carrion offal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean carrion carcasses dad jokes. There are also carrion puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What does a raven bring on an airplane?

A carri-on bag

Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture to board his flight?

#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.

*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*

*

A vulture boards a plane

Tired of flying himself, a vulture boards a plane carrying with him his lunch, a dead animal. The atendant notices and says, "Sir, we do not allow you to bring on dead animals." Quite surprised, the vulture says, "But I was told I could bring carrion luggage."

Why didn't the buzzard have any luggage on the airplane?

Because he ate his carrion.

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.

The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Carrion joke, Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.

A vulture carrying two dead raccoons tries to board an airplane...

and the flight attendant says, "I'm sorry, sir. You're only allowed one carrion."

A buzzard carrying two dead badgers tried to check in at the airport for his flight.

The gate attendant told him, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one carrion."

A vulture carrying two dead squirrels lines up to board a plane

And the flight attendant says to him, "I'm terribly sorry, sir, but we only allow one carrion."


Why are commercial flights always cheaper for vultures?

All their luggage is carrion.

Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight?

He brought the wrong carrion.

A vulture tries to board a plane whilst carrying a dead rabbit under his wing.

The flight attendant stops him, shaking his head.

"Sorry sir, you can't bring that on here. No carrion."

A young buzzard is bringing his new boyfriend home...

He turns to his dad and says "So, what are we having for dinner?"

The father bird clears his throat.

"Carrion, my gay bird son. There'll be peas when you are done."

Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

When checking in for his flight, the wedge-tailed eagle was asked: Would you like to check some baggage or purchase an in-flight meal?

The eagle replied: No thanks. I'll just have my carrion.

A vulture is at the airport...

He has an antelope carcass draped over his shoulder, at the check in kiosk the attendant asks if he will need to check in the antelope, to which the vulture replies, "No, it's carrion".

I tried getting on a plane with a dead moose once.

The attendant said I had to check it as luggage. I said, no it's carrion.

A man walks into an airport with a pet vulture

He approaches the terminal gates, but airport security stops him.

"Your vulture has to be checked in, and shipped with the luggage." Security said.

The man replied "What do you mean checked in? This is my carrion bird."

Why could the vulture not take two carcasses onto the plane?

Because he was only allowed one piece of carrion luggage.

What did the stewardess say when the vulture tried to board the plane with two dead raccoons?

"Sorry, only one carrion per passenger."

A vulture goes to the airport and the agent says, Do you have any bags to check?

The vulture says: No, just this carrion.

Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?

You're only allowed one carrion.

Did you hear Delta is no longer allowing road kill in checked bags?

It's only carrion

A lioness makes a nice kill, but has to catch a flight soon after.

There isn't enough time to eat it all, and and she doesn't want to waste so much good meat, so she just decides to bring it with her.

She gets to the airport, checks in and gets her boarding pass. She's about to go through security when she's stopped. Sorry ma'am, the guard says, we don't allow carrion.

What did the vulture bring on his flight?

Carrion luggage.

I wrote this joke, tell me what you think.

A vulture was boarding an airplane but was stopped at the gate and told he couldn't board. They said his carrion was too large.

A buzzard gets on a plane with a rotting rabbit carcass.

The flight attendant says "You can't bring that dead animal on the plane."

The buzzard replies "It's OK. That just my carrion."

A vulture arrives at the airport check-in. He's carrying a dead rabbit under one wing.

"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."

A vulture is walking down the jetway at the airport.

He has two dead badgers, one under each wing. The stewardess stops him and says, "I'm sorry sir, you're only allowed one carrion."

Why are flights with crows often delayed?

Because they bring a lot of extra carrion luggage.

What kind of luggage does a vulture use for traveling?

Carrion bags.

A vulture and his wife are going on vacation to the Bahamas.

With many large suitcases packed, they arrive at the airport and saunter up to the check-in counter. The agent weighs, tags, and sends each bag off, until she notices one giving off a foul smell.

"Sir, are you checking this bag?" The agent asks.

"No, sorry, that's our carrion"

A man walked onto a plane, holding a vulture.

The stewardess asked "What the heck is that?"

He said "It's my carri-on luggage"

*sorry sorry sorry*

A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead rabbits.

And the flight attendant says "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."

What is a vulture's favorite song?

Carrion My Wayward Son

Why don't vultures check their luggage?

They prefer carrion.

A vulture carried two dead raccoons onto an airplane.

The flight attendant looked at him and said, "Sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

What did the stewardess say to the vulture when he boarded the flight with two bags?

Only one Carrion permitted on this flight.

A capricious vulture asked his father "Hey Dad, whatcha eating??"

"Carrion, my wayward son."

Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture board his flight?

The airline wouldn't let him check his carrion

What type of luggage do vultures fly with?

Carrion

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the carrion airport jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working carrion ghoul piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes