Carrion Jokes
93 carrion jokes and hilarious carrion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about carrion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Carrion Short Jokes
Short carrion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The carrion humour may include short corpse jokes also.
- A hyena walks up to the check in counter in an airport... ... and throws a rotting gazelle onto the desk. The counter person shouts "what is this?" and the hyena says "it's my carrion".
- A vulture is boarding an airplane carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry sir, there is only one carrion allowed per passenger."
- I wrote this joke, tell me what you think. A vulture was boarding an airplane but was stopped at the gate and told he couldn't board. They said his carrion was too large.
- A vulture is boarding a plane with a dead raccoon under each wing, when the gate attendant stops him and says, "I'm sorry, sir..." "...but you're only allowed *one* carrion."
- Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
- A vulture boards an airplane carrying two dead rabbits. And the flight attendant says "Sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger."
- What did the stewardess say when the vulture tried to board the plane with two dead raccoons? "Sorry, only one carrion per passenger."
- I tried getting on a plane with a dead moose once. The attendant said I had to check it as luggage. I said, no it's carrion.
- A vulture carried two dead raccoons onto an airplane. The flight attendant looked at him and said, "Sorry sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
- A man brought a dead animal onto a plane... When the flight attendant asked what he was doing, he simply replied, "It's my carrion luggage!"
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Carrion One Liners
Which carrion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with carrion? I can suggest the ones about dead chicken and cemetery.
- Why didn't the buzzard have any luggage on the airplane? Because he ate his carrion.
- Why don't vultures check their luggage? They prefer carrion.
- Why do vultures find it easy to fly? They only ever have carrion baggage.
- What did the vulture bring on his flight? Carrion luggage.
- Why are commercial flights always cheaper for vultures? All their luggage is carrion.
- What kind of luggage does a vulture use for traveling? Carrion bags.
- Did you hear Delta is no longer allowing road kill in checked bags? It's only carrion
- What do buzzards in Kansas eat? Carrion, my wayward son.
- Why did the vulture fly United Airlines? Because they allow 1 free carrion
- Why did the vulture get kicked off the flight? He brought the wrong carrion.
- What does a raven bring on an airplane? A carri-on bag
- What type of luggage do vultures fly with? Carrion
- What does a vulture bring with him on the airplane? His carrion bag.
- What kind of luggage does a vulture bring on a plane? Carrion.
- What is a vulture's favorite song? Carrion My Wayward Son
Carrion Birds Jokes
Here is a list of funny carrion birds jokes and even better carrion birds puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why didn't the airline passenger check his vulture? Because it's a carrion bird.
- I met a vulture trainer on a flight. He said the birds travel better if you let them bring their carrion.
Giggle-Inducing Carrion Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about carrion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean morgue jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make carrion pranks.
As migration approached, two elderly vultures
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying two dead raccoons. "Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?" she asked.
"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion."
Did ya' hear about the bear that tried to fly from British Columbia to New York?
They wouldn't let him bring his carrion.
Sorry.
So a vulture is in line to board a plane...
and he's got a deer carcass in his claws. The TSA agent turns to the vulture and says, "That deer carcass smells horrific, surely you are going to check it on?" The vulture looks at the agent, smiles and says, "Nope, it's carrion."
A vulture boards a plane
A vulture boards a plane and sits in his seat. Almost immediately he pulls the smelliest, nastiest looking meat from a bag.
Seeing this the stewardess asks "sir, what is that?"
The vulture replies "oh this? It's just my carrion"
A young vulture is tired of eating nothing but scavenged meat...
So he says to his father, "Dad, can't we eat something else for a change? I'd like to try some vegetables."
The father is outraged, claiming that vultures do not eat vegetables, that is not their way. But the young vulture doesn't give up. He asks again the next day, and the next, and the next. Eventually the father relents, and agrees on a compromise. The young vulture could eat some vegetables, but only if he finished his meat first.
The following day, the young vulture asks what they will be eating that evening. The father replies, "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peas when you are done."
So the other day I tried to bring 2 dead raccoons on an airplane...
but the lady at the desk told me a second carrion costs extra.
Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture to board his flight?
#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.
*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*
*
A vulture boards a plane
Tired of flying himself, a vulture boards a plane carrying with him his lunch, a dead animal. The atendant notices and says, "Sir, we do not allow you to bring on dead animals." Quite surprised, the vulture says, "But I was told I could bring carrion luggage."
What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage?
No, thanks, it's just carrion...
A Vulture Goes Through Customs at the Airport
So this vulture is returning home from an much needed overseas vacation. As she passes through the customs line one of the agents asks, "Do you have any checked luggage?" To which the vulture replies, "Nope, just carrion."
What did the flight attendant say to the vulture who dragged two dead raccoons onto the flight?
I'm sorry sir, but you're only allowed one carrion
What did the lieutenant vulture say to the enlisted vultures who stopped eating a dead cow to salute?
Carrion.
A man walks onto a plane...
... He has a dead rabbit under each arm. The stuardess turns: "I'm sorry, sir. You're only allowed one item of carrion"
A vulture carrying two dead raccoons tries to board an airplane...
and the flight attendant says, "I'm sorry, sir. You're only allowed one carrion."
A buzzard carrying two dead badgers tried to check in at the airport for his flight.
The gate attendant told him, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one carrion."
A vulture carrying two dead squirrels lines up to board a plane
And the flight attendant says to him, "I'm terribly sorry, sir, but we only allow one carrion."
A vulture boards a plane...
...carrying with him two dead raccoons. The stewardess says, "I'm sorry, but we only allow each passenger one carrion."
Why did the vulture have to check some luggage at the gate?
It was only allowed one piece of carrion.
A vulture tries to board a plane whilst carrying a dead rabbit under his wing.
The flight attendant stops him, shaking his head.
"Sorry sir, you can't bring that on here. No carrion."
A young buzzard is bringing his new boyfriend home...
He turns to his dad and says "So, what are we having for dinner?"
The father bird clears his t**....
"Carrion, my gay bird son. There'll be peas when you are done."
When checking in for his flight, the wedge-tailed eagle was asked: Would you like to check some baggage or purchase an in-flight meal?
The eagle replied: No thanks. I'll just have my carrion.
Why wasn't the vulture allowed on the plane?
He had too much carrion.
A vulture is at the airport...
He has an antelope carcass draped over his shoulder, at the check in kiosk the attendant asks if he will need to check in the antelope, to which the vulture replies, "No, it's carrion".
What did the vulture police officer tell the gathering crowd about the roadkill?
Carrion people
A man walks into an airport with a pet vulture
He approaches the terminal gates, but airport security stops him.
"Your vulture has to be checked in, and shipped with the luggage." Security said.
The man replied "What do you mean checked in? This is my carrion bird."
Why could the vulture not take two carcasses onto the plane?
Because he was only allowed one piece of carrion luggage.
The vulture dragged a dead goat onto the plane.
Don't worry, he said to the attendant. It's just my carrion.
A vulture goes to the airport and the agent says, Do you have any bags to check?
The vulture says: No, just this carrion.
A man and his son go for a walk through the woods and get separated.
After frantically searching for his son, the man finally finds him standing over a dead animal and poking it with a stick.
Dad, what's this? The boy asks
Carrion, my wayward son.
A vulture decided to fly south for the winter...
He was horrified to learn that the airline would only allow one carrion per customer
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
A vulture walks up to the counter at the airport dragging a dead possum.
"Sir will you be checking any bags today?"
"Nope, just carrion."
Buzzards on a plane
Two buzzards were at the check in counter at their local airport answering the usual questions. The desk agent finally noticed the piece of rotting gazelle they had brought with them.
"Are you going to check that?" the agent asks.
"No. That's my carrion."
A lioness makes a nice kill, but has to catch a flight soon after.
There isn't enough time to eat it all, and and she doesn't want to waste so much good meat, so she just decides to bring it with her.
She gets to the airport, checks in and gets her boarding pass. She's about to go through security when she's stopped. Sorry ma'am, the guard says, we don't allow carrion.
Why did the vulture check his baggage at the airport?
He wasn't allowed any carrion
A buzzard gets on a plane with a rotting rabbit carcass.
The flight attendant says "You can't bring that dead animal on the plane."
The buzzard replies "It's OK. That just my carrion."
A vulture arrives at the airport check-in. He's carrying a dead rabbit under one wing.
"Return ticket to Death Valley please."
"Pleasure trip?"
"Yup, sort of a u-pick kind of thing."
"LOL, very good! Ok, here you go. Are you checking the rabbit?"
"No, this is carrion."
A vulture is walking down the jetway at the airport.
He has two dead badgers, one under each wing. The stewardess stops him and says, "I'm sorry sir, you're only allowed one carrion."
Why are flights with crows often delayed?
Because they bring a lot of extra carrion luggage.
A vulture and his wife are going on vacation to the Bahamas.
With many large suitcases packed, they arrive at the airport and saunter up to the check-in counter. The agent weighs, tags, and sends each bag off, until she notices one giving off a foul smell.
"Sir, are you checking this bag?" The agent asks.
"No, sorry, that's our carrion"
A man walked onto a plane, holding a vulture.
The stewardess asked "What the heck is that?"
He said "It's my carri-on luggage"
*sorry sorry sorry*
What did the stewardess say to the vulture when he boarded the flight with two bags?
Only one Carrion permitted on this flight.
A capricious vulture asked his father "Hey Dad, whatcha eating??"
"Carrion, my wayward son."
Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture board his flight?
The airline wouldn't let him check his carrion
A vulture is going through customs and the attendant asked if he has any baggage to check in.
The vulture says, No, just my carrion.
A vulture walked into an airplane,
dragging some mangled roadkill in its beak. The stewardess looks down in distaste, and asks Wouldn't you prefer to put that in the checked luggage compartment?
And the vulture said No thanks. It's carrion.
A vulture is picking at some roadkill on the street
A cop comes up to the vulture and shouts, "Hey! What are you doing?"
Startled, the vulture responds, "I'm just eating here."
"Oh," the cop says, "carrion"
The only flight available was on a plane transporting corpses. I needed to get home so I bought a ticket but they refused to let me on the plane.
I think that the problem was my carrion.
A man was walking through the desert and passed a group of vultures feasting on a dead animal.
The vultures stopped eating and looked at him, obviously disturbed.
The man casually commented "Carrion."
Odin is planning to take a flight, so he packs his bags and heads to the airport. One of the staff says "sir, you'll have to keep your pet in the hold..."
Odin laughs and says, "no, this is a carrion raven."
