The Best 28 Carrier Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Carrier jokes. There are some carrier verizon jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these carrier mail carrier puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Carrier Jokes and Puns
A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship.
He turns on his signal lamp and sends, Change your course, 10 degrees west.
The light signals back, Change yours, 10 degrees east.
The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, I'm a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.
The light signals back, I'm a Seaman First Class. You must change your course, sir.
Now the captain is mad. He signals, I'm an aircraft carrier. I'm not changing my course.
The light signals back a final message: I'm a lighthouse. Your call.
With Net Neutrality gone I'm finally ready to start my new business- Carrier Pigeons
You may laugh now, but you won't be when my pigeons deliver nudes faster than your service provider
I went to a liquor store yesterday on my bicycle.
I bought a bottle of Jack Daniels. I tied it to my bicycle carrier.
I was about to leave. Then I realised that if I fell off the bike on the way home, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the JD before I rode back.
Finally it turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.
A Navy ship hailed a civilian at sea...
**Navy**: We ask that you divert your course 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.
**Civilian**: Negative. Recommend that *you* divert 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.
**Navy**: This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
**Civilian**: Negative. I say again, recommend you change course.
**Navy**: This is the aircraft carrier *Enterprise*! We are a large warship of the U.S. Navy! Divert your course *immediately*!
**Civilian**: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
A Brit, Mexican, and a Texan are all on a carrier plane heading towards battle.
A Brit, Mexican, and a Texan are all on a carrier plane heading towards battle. The pilot over coms says
"There is to much wait on the plane, someone will have to jump off"
The Brit then goes to the exit of the plane and says,
"For the Queen!"
He then jumps off.
The pilot says
"We are still to heavy, one more person has to jump off"
So the Texan screams "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!"
Then trows the Mexican off.
Over 100 Coronavirus cases have been reported on the British Navy's flagship HMS Queen Elizabeth.
Other ships in the fleet have been told to keep their distance as it's a carrier.
The aircraft carrier captain saw a light whilst at sea
"Tell the signalman to warn that boat to turn to port to avoid a collision."
But the light flashes back "\*YOU\* turn to port to avoid a collision."
The captain, incensed, sends the message "This is a 200 kiloton aircraft carrier with 50 warplanes, atomic bombs and cruise missiles! \*YOU\* turn to the left to avoid a collision!"
The light flashes back "This is a lighthouse. Your call."
A Navy Aircraft carrier and its entourage were traversing out at sea when they get a signal of an approaching mass.
They comm it and express for them to move out of their way they were on a mission of high importance. "Negative sir we cannot accommodate your request" The admiral quite taken aback exclaims that "Its not a request son, this is the United States Navy Aircraft carrier Ronald Reagan flanked by two naval war ships and a submarine. I repeat edit your bearings and move out of our way!" "Negative sir, were a lighthouse, so its your call!"
(Someone told that this actually happened one time)
How do you get an elephant in a Safeway carrier bag?
You take the "F" out of "way"
(It took me a while, so don't feel bad, try not to spoil it!)
Do you think back in the day people would write each other jokes by carrier pigeons?
Like would they get them or would it just fly over their heads?
My wife has been around the block a few dozen times, if you know what I mean.
She's a mail carrier.
You can explore carrier bearer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean carrier shipment dad jokes. There are also carrier puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Just found a carrier bag with an England rugby shirt in the rubbish bin,
can't believe someone would throw that away! Worth 5p that!
A paper bag walks into the doctors because he's feeling a little down
Has some tests and come back a week later.
Doctor says, "I'm sorry son, but you're HIV positive"
The bag is in disbelief "How can this happen, I'm a paper bag?"
"Have you ever had unprotected sex?"
"We'll no, I'm a paper bag"
"What about sharing needles"
"No doc, I can't even do drugs, I'm a paper bag"
" Well there's only 1 other explanation, your mum must have been a carrier"
A postal carrier is working on a new beat.......
when all of a sudden he comes upon a garden gate marked BEWARE OF THE PARROT!
Befuddled, he looks down the walk and into the garden and, sure enough, there is indeed a parrot sitting on its perch.
He has a little chuckle to himself at the sign and the parrot there on its perch.
The mailman opens the gate and walks into the garden.
He gets as far as the parrot's perch, when suddenly the parrot calls out: "REX, ATTACK!"
The secret to World Peace has been discovered!!
Everyone must drink Pepsi while having their phone carrier changed to T-Mobile and drive a Dodge Ram truck!
And make the world a better, cleaner place by using Tide!
A brown paper bag visits the doctor.
A brown paper bag visits the doctor, who gives them some terrible news.
"I'm so sorry to tell you this, but you have a genetic disease."
The brown paper bag, understandably, is horrified, "But how can that be? I'm a brown paper bag!"
The doctor replies, "Yes, but one of your parents must have been a carrier."
What did the Spanish photon say when it had finally had enough of being the electromagnetic force carrier?
No mas.
What cell carrier do Mormons use?
Virgin Mobile
I don't have a problem with 5p carrier bags, I have a bag for life, ever since I got married last year.
^^
How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier?
The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!
What is Goku's cellular carrier of choice?
SaiyanT&T
If two Hawaiians are having a conversation on the U.S.S. Nimitz...
... do they speak carrier pidgin?
A wise man told me that the mobile network carrier you choose says a lot about your life
No wonder I use Virgin Mobile.
What did the armored personnel carrier (APC) driver say to the attendant at the gas station?
Fill 'er up, full tank.
What do you call a pregnant man who's also a postal worker?
A male carrier
Curiosity has killed my cat....
At least I think it did. I mistook Schrodinger's box for my cat carrier when I threw the squeaky-catnip-mouse toy in...
Got bad news today. Doctor says I have Nimitz Disease.
But don't worry. I'm just a carrier.
What's the US Navy's biggest and longest serving aircraft carrier?
The USS Great Britain.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the carrier fedex jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working carrier aircraft carrier uss lincoln piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.