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Carrie Jokes

53 carrie jokes and hilarious carrie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about carrie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the funniest Carrie Jokes. Enjoy a selection of the most hilarious and iconic jokes featured in the Carrie movies, including jokes from Carrie Bradshaw, Cindy, Cathy, and Walter. Laugh out loud with these classic one-liners and catchphrases.

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Funniest Carrie Short Jokes

Short carrie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The carrie humour may include short carrie fisher jokes also.

  1. Why will the congress never impeach Trump? Because the republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.
  2. I invented a new golf ball that'll automatically go in the hole if it gets within four inches. Do NOT carry them in your back pocket.
  3. Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet. Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
  4. Americans are getting stronger; 20 years ago, it took two adults to carry $50 worth of groceries. Today, a 5 year-old can carry them!
  5. A plane carrying Donald Trump made an emergency landing in New Orleans after alleged engine failure over the Gulf of Mexico. Turns out there was just a loud whine coming from the right wing.
  6. A man walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep. His wife looks horrified... "See? See what I have to bang when you're not in the mood?"
    The sheep says "Myyyyyyyy god. You weren't lying..."
  7. I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago. Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.
  8. What's heavier, a ton of brick or a ton of feathers? A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
  9. The only reason there are pyramids in Egypt is because they are too heavy to be carried to the british Museum
  10. A photon walks into a hotel and orders a room. The bellhop asks, Can I carry your baggage to your room for you? The photon says, "No, I'm traveling light."

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Carrie One Liners

Which carrie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with carrie? I can suggest the ones about remake and scene.

  1. How can you tell good cops from bad cops? Easy. Good cops carry a Goodge.
  2. Why don't feminists carry handguns? Because of the triggers.
    I'm sorry
  3. when i die i want my kids to carry my casket. So they can let me down one more time.
  4. What's the #1 rule of kidnapping prevention? Don't get carried away.
  5. I've been crying a lot recently It's shocking how many girls carry pepper spray
  6. why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella? Fo drizzle
  7. How does a duck carry his school books? Bwack pwack
  8. What do you call an Iraqi father carrying all the groceries? Baghdad.
  9. What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjölnir all day? He gets thor arms!
  10. Why should you always carry arms with you? They might come in handy.
  11. Why do accordionists always carry a pencil? To draw a crowd.
  12. What do you call a train carrying bubblegum? A chew-chew train.
  13. What do you call a lady who carries people across rivers? Bridget.
  14. I couldn't afford to pay the priest who carried out my exorcism. He repossessed my home.
  15. I hate bikes that carry two people. I can't tandem.

Carrie Fisher Jokes

Here is a list of funny carrie fisher jokes and even better carrie fisher puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • It's a shame Carrie Fisher was on a United Airlines flight when she had her heart attack. If she was on another airline there might have been a doctor on board.
  • Carrie Fisher dead at 60. Her last words were "aren't you a little short for a grim reaper."
  • Since Carrie Fisher's death, I feel sorry for Kylo Ren. How will he fulfill the other half of his Oedipus complex now?
  • What did David Bowie want for Christmas? Carrie Fisher.
  • Say what you will about her, but Carrie Fisher died doing what she loved... Drugs.
  • Why did Carrie Fisher enjoy doing her one-woman show? Because she nailed that Solo.
  • I went to see Rogue One the day Carrie Fisher died I think I'm going to go watch The Apprentice
  • What movie features Mark Hamil, Carrie Fisher and Han Solo surrounded by garbage? The Force Awakens
  • I'm writing a Carrie Fisher tribute album It'll be called "Looking For Love In Alderraan Places".
  • What did the star wars clone say to the other clone? "I missed Carrie Fisher before it was cool"

Carrie Movie Jokes

Here is a list of funny carrie movie jokes and even better carrie movie puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did Bill Murray's cameo have a sore back? It had to carry the new Ghostbusters movie for almost two hours.
  • Carrie Fisher is amazing, she really would do anything to hype a new Star Wars movie.
Carrie joke, Carrie Fisher is amazing,

Cheerful Carrie Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about carrie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make carrie pranks.

Carrie Fisher runs into George Micheal in the afterlife...

She says, "Oh man, I'm a huge fan! I've got every one of your albums except the first one."
He says, "I find your lack of 'Faith' disturbing".

I knew my girlfriend was cheating on me.

She told me she was at the mall with her friend Carrie. Thing is, Carrie was sleeping right next to me!

ME: Siri, what time is it?

ALEXA: Who is Siri?
ME: Haha Alexa, I meant Alexa
ALEXA: Ok but who is Siri?
ME:...
ALEXA: Playing "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood

Now that everyone carries a decent camera with them...

Where did all of the U.F.O's go?

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call a woman with no hands and no legs?

Carrie

Did you hear they're making a Mr Men book about a woman that can't have children?

It's called Little Miss Carrie.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Where will everyone be sitting at Carrie Fisher's f**...

Pew Pew Pew

2016 is like a crisp autumn wind on a clear day in Venice

It blows.
(Get well soon Carrie)

If you think you have telekinetic powers like Carrie White's then you should ...

Keep calm and NOT Carrie ON ....!

Did you hear about the feminist remake of Stephen King's Carrie?

When Carrie gets drenched in blood, she runs home from the prom and writes an angry Tumblr post about how triggered she is.

Why did Carrie Underwood run out of cheese?

Because Jesus took the wheel.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Elon Musk's space travel corp. decided not to fund the recent reboot of Carrie, just because they were scared...

I guess you could say it was a *s**... SpaceX.*

I carried an egg around in my pocket for 3 days before it broke.

I'm just glad it's ova

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Rain Drop, Drop Trop.

c**... made Carrie Fisher's heart stop.

Did you hear about the country singer who drowned?

Carrie Underwater

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What's 7 inches long and hasn't been smoked in 2 years?

Carrie Fisher's c**...

What do Debbie Reynolds and 70's teenagers have in common?

They both stroked because they wanted to be with Carrie

One day while filming the Star Wars original trilogy

Mark Hamill got very thirsty, so he asked the director for some soda.
George Lucas replied that Carrie had already taken all the coke.

Carrie joke, What movie features Mark Hamil, Carrie Fisher and Han Solo surrounded by garbage?