Carpet Cleaning Jokes

13 carpet cleaning jokes and hilarious carpet cleaning puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about carpet cleaning that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Carpet Cleaning Short Jokes

Short carpet cleaning jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The carpet cleaning humour may include short house cleaning jokes also.

  1. I visited my lesbian neighbor today. I was amazed how clean the carpets were in her house.
  2. I had a polish cleaner helping around the house, it took them 4 hours to clean the front room carpet. It turns out she was a slo-vak.

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Carpet Cleaning One Liners

Which carpet cleaning one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with carpet cleaning? I can suggest the ones about cleaning services and carpet.

  1. What goes up and down stairs with out moving? Carpet.
  2. What do you call a carpet cleaning company based out of Ohio? Cleveland Steamers

Cheerful Carpet Cleaning Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about carpet cleaning you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean carpet rug jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make carpet cleaning pranks.

A vacuum cleaner salesman came to my door, poured a bag of dog s**... on my carpet and said, "Sir, if this vacuum can't clean it completely, I'll eat whatever's left."

I said, "I hope you're hungry 'cause they cut off the electricity this morning."

So, my 3 year old cousin was over this morning.

I needed to grab a quick shower as I let him watch cartoons in the living room. When I came out, there was black permanent marker all over my 55 inch TV screen. I LITERALLY FREAKED OUT. Does anyone know what is best used to clean blood out of a carpet?

LPT Request: My 2 year old son drew in permanent marker all over the walls

So I took a shower earlier today and left my 2 year old son in the living room with the TV on thinking he would be ok. I come out 20 minutes later and he covered the entire living room in green permanent marker that he somehow got a hold of. As you can imagine, I flipped out and immediately ran to the store to buy cleaning supplies. I tried at least five different types, and scrubbed for at least half an hour but the stain was still there. Does anybody have any good methods for getting blood out of the carpet?

A vacuum salesman knocked on my door this morning

When I opened my door, before I could even talk to him, he dumped a bucket of dog s**... on my carpet
He then said if this vacuum cleaner doesn't clean your carpet within 2 minutes, I will personally eat whatever's left of the s**...
To which I replied well you better be hungry because my electricity has been cut off since 5am

Salesman's promise

A salesman knocked at the door and a woman answers. The salesman barges in and scatters fresh h**... all around the living room floor and the carpet.
The woman is shocked and her kids are amused.
The salesman confidently says, Do not worry. I am selling this brand new extra power vacuum cleaner. If it cannot clean up all this s**... in 15 mins, I will eat it all myself.
The woman smiles and says, Very well, so would you like some ketchup or salt with it, because the power is out since morning.. .
(An oldie but I am shopping for vacuum cleaners and this joke has been popping up in my mind.)

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the h**.... As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his cigarette pack. "I found them in the hallway. Now, if only I could find my sweet little hamster."

World's Best Vacuum Cleaner

A young man knocks on a residential door and an elderly lady answers, the young man says "hello maam, I'm here to show you the world's best vacuum cleaner!", she responds "sorry but I'm not interested and I have no money" as she tries to close the door.
Of course the young man puts his foot in the door and says "Maam, I'm so confident that this is the World's Best Vacuum Cleaner that I'll eat what's in this bag if you smell anything after this vacuum cleans and deodorizes your carpet!" He then takes a small bag of horse manure and dumps it right on her carpet in front of her.
She starts walking away to the back of the house and he says "where are you going maam, don't you want to see the world's best vacuum cleaner in action?", she replies "I'm going to get you some silverware from the kitchen because my power was turned off last week".