Carolina Jokes
44 carolina jokes and hilarious carolina puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about carolina that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Feel the Carolina love with these funny jokes about the Tar Heel state. Enjoy these hilarious quips about the Carolina Hurricanes, Panthers, and reaper. Also see the rivalry between Duke and Carolina, the Gamecocks and the Tigers, Broncos and Bengals, and the city inequality between North and South Carolina.
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Funniest Carolina Short Jokes
Short carolina jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The carolina humour may include short south carolina jokes also.
- What does a South Carolina cop do when a panda runs away from him? Shoots him 8 times in the black.
- I'm currently in a recovering alcoholics program in North Carolina. But to keep it short, I just tell people I'm in the NCAA.
- What do you get when you put the entire South Carolina cheerleading team in one room? A full set of teeth.
- Why should you always serve a Southern Carolina football man soup in a plate? Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.
- Bernie Sanders got twice the votes as Hillary Clinton, but less delegates. This should help him in South Carolina as he officially now understands the struggle of being black in America.
- I'm moving to North Carolina and I think I'm going to buy a house instead of renting I hear the market is flooded right now
- In the wake of Hurricane Florence, residents of North Carolina are returning home to deal with flood damage, mold, and apparently with the arrival of the President... Tiny mushrooms.
- What is the most popular hockey team in the USA? I bet it's the Carolina Hurricanes, people can't stop talking about them today!
- The Top Three things for Halloween you can do now in North Carolina: #3 Swim with the sharks,
#2 Have an account on Ashley Madison,
#1 riding a street car in Charlotte NC. - I know a guy from North Carolina who spent 200 million on the lotto. He said that if he doesn't win, his life savings are gonna go south.
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Carolina One Liners
Which carolina one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with carolina? I can suggest the ones about north carolina and hurricane.
- What type of fruit are you most likely to find in North Carolina? Cantaloupe!
- Hey North Carolina, watcha doin' this weekend? Nothing
- How come north Carolina is the bluest state? Raleigh scattering
- What superheroes refuse to fight in North Carolina? The X-Men
- It's so expensive to swim at North Carolina beaches It costs an arm and a leg.
- Can Confirm. It's raining in South Carolina.
- Here and safe in North Carolina all the waterslides are still waterslides.
- How much force does it take for the Carolina Panthers to lose a Playoff game. One Newton
- What do you call a fraud from North Carolina? A charlatan!
North Carolina Jokes
Here is a list of funny north carolina jokes and even better north carolina puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There once was a lady from China.. Who got diagnosed with angina.
She went to her Gyno
who said "what do I know"?
My degree is from North Carolina. - What's the difference between North Korea and North Carolina? None. Don't go live in the north.
South Carolina Jokes
Here is a list of funny south carolina jokes and even better south carolina puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I feel bad for everyone in Florence, South Carolina. This hurricanes got their name on it.
Comical Carolina Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about carolina you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make carolina pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Caitlin Jenner and the Carolina Panthers have in common?
Manning was just a bit too much for them.
Obama goes on vacation to South Carolina and goes for an ocean swim...
And begins to drown! A young lifeguard swims out and rescues him, pulling him back to shore.
"Thank you so much for saving me young lady. Please, tell me what I can do to repay you."
"Aw shucks, I don't need nuthin', sir, it's just ma job!" She says.
"Listen, I'm the President of the United States, I can give you anything you want!"
She thinks for a moment and says "Well, I'd mighty like a plot at the Arlington National Cemetery if ya can do that fer me."
"Why does a young woman like you want a burial plot at the cemetery?"
"Because" she said, "When my friends and family find out what I just did they'll kill me!"
Lindsey Graham gets new suit
On a Senate trip to Japan, Lindsey Graham picked up some silk to have a custom suit made. At a top notch tailor shop in South Carolina, the tailor said with the material, he could make a single breasted suit.
Graham decided to wait, took the material to a tailor in New York who told him he could make a double breasted suit, a vest, and an extra pair of pants.
He asked, "How can you do so much more with this material than the tailor in South Carolina?"
"Well, senator, I guess you're not as big up here."
Math in the real world
Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."
I think it's kinda funny people named their kids after US states…
Y'know, names like Carolina, Georgia, Dakota, Virginia, etc. When I have a kid, I'm gonna name him Michigan, just in case some guy named Mitch reincarnates into him.
True Story from South Carolina
A real estate agent said she saw a for sale sign leaned against a stump in front of a house. She saw a car in the driveway and decided to stop and inquire about the property. She rang the bell, an old man appeared, she explained who she was and asked how much the house was listed for. The old man laughed and said "Lady the house aint for sale, the stump is."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How can you tell if a good ole boy from North Carolina is married?
There are tobacco spit stains on BOTH the doors of his truck.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was the governor of North Carolina criticized for responding to Hurricane Florence so quickly?
Because women don't like p**... evacuations
Two weevils grew up in South Carolina
One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina.
One went all the way out to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the South Carolina r**... who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it until she's fourteen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In the wake of the Coastal Carolina scandal, it breaks my heart that we, as a society have young people that are forced...
...to pay women from South Carolina for s**....
(real news) A South Carolina woman has been arrested for failing to return a jennifer lopez movie she rented from a video store in 2005.
The woman told police she deeply regretted her mistake *italics* and not returning the movie.
