carnal Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious carnal puns

A man with no carnal desires walks into a Freudian psychoanalyst's office

The psychoanalyst stops him and says, "hey, buddy, I'm gonna need to see some id."

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A priest walks up to his church's janitor

He then says that he has a problem - his stomach is very upset, and he has been running to the restroom all day. His problem is that the widow Mrs. Idoux is about to show up for her weekly confession, as she does every Friday at exactly 3:00. He asks the janitor to stand in for him at her confession, because Mrs. Idoux always has the same confession, carnal thoughts about a specific man. The priest says that he always gives Mrs. Idoux 10 Hail Marys and sends her on her way. The Janitor agrees, it is obvious the Priest would not ask such a thing were it unnecessary.

The Janitor steps in, and a couple minutes later, the widow Mrs. Idoux steps in to the confession booth. Mrs. Idoux says "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I have caved into my carnal thoughts and performed oral sex on a man who is not my husband." The Janitor, realizing he cannot give the same penance for carnal thoughts as oral sex, so he quietly steps out of the booth, calls an altar boy over, and asks "Hey, kid - what does the priest give for oral sex?", to which the boy replies "A coke and a snickers bar, why do you ask?"

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I just found out my mom had an affair.

The worst part is I found out in the most blunt way possible. I was playing Call of Duty when I was informed by another player that he had carnal relations with my mother. The worst part is he sounded so young.

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I used to live in a place with crazy thin walls.

I used to live in a place with super thin walls, which came with a lot of pros and cons

A big con was that at all times of day, you can hear people have nasty, carnal sex right next to you through the wall.

A pro, however, was that was if you knocked on the wall, and asked very nicely, you get to join in the sideways hokey pokey.

This led to a LOT of crazy, sex adventures.

All the crazy sex gets tiring after a while though, so eventually, I had to move out.

And I gotta say, it was really weird having to leave my parents place.

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a young man goes to confession

the priest asked " do you have any sins to confess?"
" yes father, i've had carnal knowledge of a young lady."
the priest shakes his head " was it molly watson? i've seen how short her skirts are."
" i can't tell you father."
" was it the smith girl? i've seen how low her tops are cut."
"was it the jones girl? she always seems to be looking at boys."
" i really can't tell you father."
" alright, say 100 hail marys and 200 our fathers and come by every week next week for community service."
the young man meets a friend outside, who asked" well, what'd you get?"
the young man smiles...." 3 GOOD LEADS!"

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What are the most funny Carnal jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Carnal? Well, here are the best Carnal dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Carnal pick up lines to share with friends.

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