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Carlos Jokes

56 carlos jokes and hilarious carlos puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about carlos that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready for a few laughs! In this article, you'll discover some of Carlos Mencia's best jokes, from his Mexican roots to his opinion about the name "Carlos". We'll also talk about the controversy surrounding him and whether he stole jokes from other comedians. Don't miss out on the hilarious quips from one of the funniest Hispano-Americans in the comedy world!

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Funniest Carlos Short Jokes

Short carlos jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The carlos humour may include short amigo jokes also.

  1. My friend's girlfriend is pregnant, and he is thinking of a name for the past few weeks. Finally he decided on Carlos and ran away to Mexico.
  2. My girlfriend told me she was pregnant, so I started looking for some names... ...in the end I chose Juan Carlos and took the first flight to Spain.
  3. My girlfriend got pregnant, so I've been thinking about a name for over two weeks I chose Carlos and escaped to Mexico
  4. When an artist covers another artist's song, it's flattering. When a comedian tells another comedian's joke, it's Carlos Mencia
  5. If I had a dozen muffins and Carlos took 13 away from me, what do I have now? A math problem
  6. There is no "i" in "team. "But there's an "i" in "Tim," and my friend Carlos pronounces it "team." So....there.
  7. My friends keep saying, "If Trump wins, I'm leaving the country!" But I think Carlos, José, and Alejandro are all talk.
  8. gotta love cousins... what do you call a hispanic man who's car got jacked? Carlos.
    what do you call the italian man who stole it? Carmine.
  9. Say what you will about Carlos Mencia, he sure knows how to take a joke And present it as if he wrote it
  10. Screw this! I'm going to leave the original joke making to the professionals! Dane Cook...
    Amy Schumer...
    Carlos Mencia...

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Carlos One Liners

Which carlos one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with carlos? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. My friend lost his car. I call him Carlos now.
  2. Jesus, take the wheel Carlos, take the stereo
  3. What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.
  4. Carlos: Can I be frank with you? Me: Sure.
    Frank: Thanks.
  5. What do you call a Mexican without his car? Carlos
  6. What do you call a Mexican who can't find his vehicle? Carlos.
  7. Did you hear about the Mexican george michael tribute act? He's called Carlos Whisper
  8. Jesus take the wheel Carlos and Jose help me carry the sofa
  9. What is a Spanish person without a car called? Carlos
  10. What do you call a Latino whos car got nicked? Carlos-t
  11. What do you call a man walking down the motorway? Carlos.
  12. What is Carlos Castaneda's favorite type of bagel? Astral plain
  13. What do you call an Argentinian victim of grand theft auto? Carlos
  14. How do you call a Latino working for car repo? Carlos(s)
  15. What do you call a Mexican knockoff burger restaurant? Carlos Jr.

Carlos Name Jokes

Here is a list of funny carlos name jokes and even better carlos name puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When I found out my girlfriend got pregnant I started thinking about all sorts of names. I chose Juan Carlos and thought of running to Mexico.
Carlos joke, When I found out my girlfriend got pregnant I started thinking about all sorts of names.

Entertaining Carlos Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about carlos you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make carlos pranks.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

3 Construction Workers

Alanzo, Carlos and John are three construction workers are sitting on a high up beam of their nearly finished skyscrapers. Opening his lunchbox and seeing pasta, Alanzo curses, "I swear if my wife makes me pasta again, I will throw myself off this building." Carlos opens his lunchbox to see burritos, "I'm with you, I'm tired cold burritos everyday. If I see burritos again, I will jump." John opens his lunchbox, "I got bologna and cheese sandwich again. I will jump if I get this again.
The next day, Alanzo, Carlos and John are sitting together, ready to open their lunches. Taking a deep breath, Alanzo opens his lunchbox and sees pasta.With a sigh, he stands up and throws himself off the skyscraper to his death. Carlos opens his lunch box to see a burrito. Wiping away a tear, he stands and throws himself to his death. John opens his lunchbox and finds bologna and cheese sandwich. He stands and throws himself off the beam.
At the f**..., Alanzo's wife cries, "If I knew he was tired of my pasta, I would have never made it for him and he would never had jumped." Next to her, Carlos's wife is crying, "If I knew my Carlos didn't like my burritos, I would never had made them and he would never had jumped." Both women look at John's wife, "Well, don't look at me. He made his own lunch."

Two mexicans are walking in a desert....

and are extremely thirsty and hungry, and are out of food and water. As they continue on their journey to reach their homeland, Carlos says to Juan in broken english, "I don't think we es going to make it, Juan." Juan replies, "We must keep trying Carlos, we es got no choice."
As Carlos and Juan approach a big hill of sand in the desert, Carlos immediately smells bacon. "Juan!!! You smell that? Smells like.... Bacon!!!!" Carlos replies reluctantly, "How could you just, smell bacon out here? Make no sense Juan." Juan replies, "Es a bacon tree! I can tell!" Carlos replies, "No Juan, es a mirage!! Es messing with your mind!"
Juan would not listen. "Ok Carlos, your choice." Juan proceeded to climb the hill, while Carlos waited down at the bottom for him, knowing that this was way to good to be true.
As Juan disappeared from Carlos's view, Carlos heard many gunshots. Terrified and confused, he didn't know what to do. Slowly, he saw Juan climb, with gunshot wounds, over the edge of the hill. "Carlos, don't go up there!!"
"Es no bacon tree." "Es a.... Es a hambush."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Carlos is chilling with his baby brother, Pedro…

…and Carlos says, "¿Quieres escuchar una broma, Pedro?" *(Do you want to hear a joke, Pedro?)*
To which little Pedro replies, "¡Sí, por supuesto!" *(Yes, of course!)*
And Carlos says, "¿Está seguro?
Puede ser demasiado divertido..." *(Are you sure? It may be too funny…)*
"¡Que hago! ¡QUE HAGO!" *(I do! I DO!)*
"Bueno, si tú lo dices. ¿Está usted listo?" *(Okay, if you say so. Are you ready?)*
"¡SÍ! ¡SÍ! ¡SÍ!" *(YES! YES! YES!)*
"¿Qué grupo se unió a la mexicana-la supremacía blanca?" *(What group did the Mexican white-supremacist join?)*
"¿QUÉ? ¿QUÉ? ¿QUÉ?"

My chemistry teacher pulled this on us today.

We were reviewing balancing chemical equations and got onto the topic of changing the names of compounds into their symbols so we could start balancing them. My teacher starts, "Changing names into symbols, is very much like translating Spanish into English. Maria estudia. Maria studies. Carlos va a la biblioteca. Carlos goes to the library. Now I would have said prison but I don't know how to say that in Spanish."

The bacon tree.

Juan and Carlos have been stranded in the desert for 2 days. They are on the verge on dying of thirst when Juan sees something in the distance.
He gets closer to confirm his suspicions - off in the distance is an incredibly juicy bacon tree. "Mira!!" (Look!) "Carlos! Up ahead, it's a bacon tree!! A juicy delicious bacon tree!"
At this point Juan takes off in a sprint towards the bacon tree when out of nowhere he is gunned down!
Carlos runs to Juan's side as he lay there dying. Juan looks at Carlos and, with his final breaths, manages to say "Carlos, mi amigo, it was not a bacon tree. It was a ham bush."

The Panhandlers

Jose and Carlos are panhandlers. They panhandle in different areas of town.
Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects 2 to 3 dollars every day.
Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Carlos says to Jose "I work just as long and hard as you do, but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?"
Jose says, "Look at your sign, what does it say"?
Carlos sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and six kids to support'."
Jose says " No wonder you only get $2-3 dollars."
Carlos says... "So what does your sign say"?
Jose shows Carlos his sign. It reads, "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico

Girls say im so smooth...

... that Carlos Santana would spread me on his toast.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

How do you stop Carlos Santana from molesting your children?

You put a guitar in his hands.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Thank you Carlos Danger

Your w**... has saved the free world.

2016 has done the impossible

It claimed the life of Chuck Norris.
"Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris (born March 10, 1940) is an American martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter died this morning in his house in Oklahoma at the age of 76. He is feeling much better now and has fully recovered from this minor annoyance."

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Two cannibals are eating Carlos Mencia.

One of them turns to the other and says, "Hey, didn't we see this joke yesterday?"

Carlos Oliviera

All the Foxes love me. Might want to ask me out already.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Carlos: You want to see a magic trick?

Me: "Sure."
Carlos: "I can disappear by counting to three in Spanish."
Me: "Prove it.
Carlos: Uno, Dos...
p**...
He disappeared without a Tres.

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call a Mexican who doesn't drive?

Carlos!

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

What do you call a Mexican that is car less?

Carlos

Breaking news!

Corona Virus claims a black belt. Chuck Norris, Dead at 80.
Carlos Ray Chuck Norris, famous actor and fighter, died yesterday afternoon at his home in Northwood Hills, TX at the age of 80.
Chuck Starred in dozens of movies and Tv series which have, and continue to entertain millions of people.
He was also a master of martial arts, which was the cause of his initial fame in the movie industry.
However, after his minor inconvenience of death, Chuck has made a full recovery, and is reported to be doing quite well.
It has also been reported that the Corona virus is in self isolation for 14 days due to being exposed to Chuck Norris.

Carlos joke, Did you hear about the Mexican George Michael tribute act?

jokes about carlos