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Caring Child Jokes

26 caring child jokes and hilarious caring child puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about caring child that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Caring Child Short Jokes

Short caring child jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The caring child humour may include short caring jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla? People actually care if a gorilla dies.
  2. A police officer was called to a child care center. It seems that a three year old child was resisting a rest.
  3. Why don't Chinese people care about mass surveillance? Because after the 1 child policy, nobody remembers what a big brother is, anyway.
  4. "Do you have any experience with child care?" "Yes - I just quit my job at the White House."
  5. Whats The Diffrence Between A Fridge And A Child The fridge Doesnt Care If You Stick You're Meat In It
  6. What do you call a child care professional who works for the president of Russia? Putinani
  7. Chivalry I want to name my child Chivalry. Because I am not good and taking care of children. So no one will be suprised when I say Chivalry is dead.
  8. When you were a child, your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.
  9. Two women were caught running a child care center fight club. This is not a laughing matter. Because they forgot the one rule. You don't talk about fight club

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Caring Child One Liners

Which caring child one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with caring child? I can suggest the ones about friendly kid and quiet kid.

  1. I don't care if my child is a boy or a girl.. As long as it's a boy.

Caring Child joke, I don't care if my child is a boy or a girl..

Entertaining Caring Child Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about caring child you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean parent child jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make caring child pranks.

10 september 2001

The child of Bin Laden comes home grumpy. His dad asks him "what happened?". "Today I got an F in geography class". "And what did she ask you?". "What's the tallest building from New York and I said Empire State Building". "Eh, don't cry over it, I'll take care of that for you."

A child was born without a body...

The doctor said there was nothing they could do, but the parents cared for their child anyways.
Several years later, the parents were approached by the same doctor, saying, "I've got some good news. We now have the capability to give your child a body, would you like that?" Of course the parents were overjoyed and immediately agreed.
Another few years went by, and the parents enjoyed being able to hold their child at least, but they wanted their child to have the best life possible, so of course they accepted when the doctor offered to give their child arms.
They loved being able to play with their baby, but were sad that they couldn't teach him to walk. They prayed for the day that the doctor would come just one last time, and it finally came. The doctor asked if they would like to try a new procedure to give their child legs, and they joyfully accepted.
They enjoyed all their time running and playing with their newly whole child, until one day the child was playing in the yard and ran right in front of a cement truck and died.
I guess you could say that the moral of this story is, "stop while you're a head".

Ever have one of those days where you're wiping away and the p**... is all wet and slimy so your finger breaks through the toilet roll and your finger just slips inside, like two knuckles deep? I just had a day like that.

Anyway, I'm not allowed to volunteer at *that* child care centre anymore.

Russian, Ukrainian and Ethiopian babies got mixed up at birth.

The doctors invited their fathers so they could try to figure out which baby belongs to whom. Ukrainian father without any hesitation just takes an Ethiopian child and is about to leave the room.
"You idiot! Can't you see, this is obviously not your child!" - shouts Russian father
"Who cares, at least it's most certainly not a m**...'"

Robert, caring child

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

A child asked his father: "Dad, What is a man?"

A child asked his father: "Dad, What is a man?"
Dad: "A man is someone who loves you unconditionally , cares about you and protects you!"
Child: "Oh okay! When i grow up, I want to be a man just like mom!"

Problem Child

Psychiatrist to the mother of a problem child:
"You are far too upset and worried about your son. I'm going to prescribe some tranquilizers for you. I suggest you take them regularly."
On the next visit: "So, have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"
"Yes, they have."
"And how is your son now?"
"Who cares?!?"

Why is 18 year old Scotch better than a 18 year old girl?

An 18 y.o. Scotch is less expensive, and you don't have to remember it's birthday. An 18 y.o.Scotch does not care if you try another Scotch. An 18 y.o. Scotch is mature, well mannered and good alone or shared. An 18 y.o. Scotch won't make you look like a child m**.... And most impotantly, a 18 y.o. Scotch doesn't try to talk to you.

Johnny's girlfriend was in labor

Johnny's girlfriend was in labor with their first child. She was shouting out, Get this out of me? Give me the drugs.
She looked at him and said, You did this to me you *******!
He casually replied, If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your *** but you said, 'it'll be too painful!'.

Man like Mum !!

A child asked his father: "What is a man?"
The father replies, "A person who takes responsibility for his family and his house and takes care of them."
Then the child said, "I hope I will be a man like Mum one day" !!!

Question about baby expert Dr. Spock

Given that Dr. Benjamin Spock was one of the leading experts in pregnancy and early childhood, having written a famous book (BABY & CHILD CARE) for expecting & new mothers on taking care of their babies...
Would it be correct to call Dr. Spock a Mother-FAQer?

Adam is in the Garden of Eden...

Adam is in the Garden of Eden when he finds himself quite lonely.
He calls upon God, and asks him "Lord almighty, may you find me company here?"
God, in his infinite kindness, responds "Of course my child, I shall create a being to accompany you. The being will be beautiful, intelligent, caring, calm, and loving. The being shall satisfy you in every way and you two shall find love and be truly happy with one another.
Ecstatic, Adam says "Thank you Lord! What will it cost me?"
God replies "Your left arm and leg."
Adam ponders for a minute and replies- "What can I get for a rib?"

"What would you like?" asks the bartender.

"What would I like?!" replies Bob. "A bigger house, more money and a more attractive wife!"
"No, no!" says the bartender patiently. "I meant, what do you want?"
"To win the lottery, for my mother-in-law to die and for my child to be born healthy!"
"What's it to be!?" says the bartender, less patiently.
"A boy or a girl, I don't care."
"You misunderstand me!" says the bartender impatiently. "I only asked what you want to drink."
"Oh." says Bob. "I see. Why didn't you say so? What have you got?"
"Nothing at all." says the bartender. "I'm perfectly healthy."

A kindergarten has a class pet, a mouse named Mister Squeaky

Mister Squeaky is a staple of the class, having been around for almost ten years. Every weekend, a different child takes him home to take care of him. One Sunday morning, a mom sees Mister Squeaky lying dead at the bottom of his cage. She rushes to the petstore and explains that she needs a replacement mouse. The man behind the counter pulls out a shoebox marked "MISTER SQUEAKY LOOK-ALIKES", pulls out a mouse and says "Here you go - that's the third one this month."

Priest and the leprosy man

Priest walks into social care centre, with his meal. In the room there was no place to sit, except in front of the leprosy man. He started to eat. After his first bite he saw the leprosy mans eating his own fallen ear in the soup. He started to gag. The leprosy man made an excuse and he wanted to stand up and get other place to sit. The priest stopped him, and told him that he is a child of god. They continued eating, and again the eye of leprosian felt in the soup and he ate it. The priest gagged again, and this time he was close to puking the food out. Leprosy man was ready to stand up, but the priest doesnt want him to. They continued eating. After a while leprosian ate his nose. The priest puked all hiss meal on the table and and was disgusted, the leprosy man stand up and was ready to move to another table, after saying the excuses. The priest said: Oh my child, i am not disgusted of you, i was disgusted of the blind man dipping his bread in your neck. They both puked...

Caring Child joke, Priest and the leprosy man