Witty Cargo Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
Fighter jock and the cargo pilot
A cargo plane is flying along, doing its cargo plane thing, when a fighter jet comes up alongside.
The fighter jock decides to poke some fun at the pilot who's forced to fly such an ungainly vessel.
"My plane's so much more advanced than yours. Watch this" says the jock, as he proceeds to do loop-de-loops, barrel rolls, corkscrews, and all manner of fast paced aerial acrobatics.
"Very impressive," responds the cargo pilot. "But that's nothing, watch this." For a half hour the large craft simply plods along straight as an arrow, not even so much as dipping the wings.
After a while, the cargo pilot comes back on the radio and says "So, what'd you think?"
Jock: "What d'you mean? You didn't do anything. You just flew straight for a while."
Cargo: "Oh no, that wasn't all. I got up, stretched my legs, got some coffee, went to the bathroom..."
Why are French snails faster than American snails?
L'ess cargo
119 years ago today a Canadian cargo vessel sank off the coast of New York, her cargo 50,000 cases of mayonnaise.
And that's why we celebrate Sinko de Mayo
The Snail Salesman
The traveling snail salesman delivered snails to restaurants in his station wagon. After travelling and working for half the day, he stopped at a gas station for a cup of coffee. When he came out he found his car was no longer there. The snail salesman cried out "Where did my escargot cargo car go?!"
I named my cargo ship "Anakin Seawalker."
It's destined to bring ballast to the ports.
A starship engineer trades half their ship's cargo...
For a sub light engine. The captain finds out and is angry:
"Why did you trade valuable cargo for something 1/10th the value?"
The engineer replies: "Sorry captain, it was an impulse buy"
What type of pants do you need to start a car?
Cargo pants
I once saw a huge boat transporting manure and wondered how much it's cargo weighed...
...turns out it was a shipload.
Did you hear about. ......
the freighter carrying a cargo of yo-yos that got caught in a violent storm?
It sank 42 times
What did the Mexican guy say about the 🐌 's shell?
Es cargo
A man is on a cargo boat
A man is on a cargo boat. He says to his Spanish wife "is that a snail?" but she says "no, escargot."
You can explore cargo shipment reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cargo transporter dad jokes. There are also cargo puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
If the Dukes of Hazzard had a cargo van, what would they call it?
The General-Lee More Practical.
I hate it when a whole heap of people wearing cargo pants unexpectedly gather around me and get all excited.
It's like "Boo! Khaki party!"
Did you guys heard about the Chinese Ship with a cargo load of Yo-yos that sunk off the coast of Mexico..
.. all 200 times..
My first day as a car salesman...
Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?
Why couldn't Bobby start his car?
He wasn't wearing his cargo pants.
What did the Mexican guy say after he was caught on the train with a suitcase full of cooked snails?
Es cargo
The Falcon Heavy is now the world's most powerful rocket
The Falcon Heavy can put around 140,000 pounds of cargo into lower Earth orbit, more than twice as much weight as any other operational rocket. This powerful vehicle could open up entirely new types of business for SpaceX: launching heavy national security satellites or even sending large modules or your mom into deep space.
I saw a train with 40 carriages today, all carrying cargo containers.
It was a freightening experiance.
What kind of pants to race-car drivers wear?
Cargo pants
TIL: The Titanic was not just a passenger liner, but also a cargo ship
Among other things, it was carrying a large shipment of mayonnaise bound for Mexico. When Mexico heard that they would not receive it, they understandably upset, and decided to name a day in memorial of it. They called this day Cinco de Mayo.
Why did the man with a genetic disease wear cargo pants?
Because he hates his genes.
Customer: I want cargo space
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly
Manager: See me in my office
A man drowned at sea attempting to board a life raft after his cargo ship sank.
He was only used to going through hardships.
A cargo ship sank in the ocean. The cargo, Idaho potatoes and rubber p**..., floated in the vicinity.
The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. Seeing the cargo strewn about on the water, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship.
"I already know what kind of ship to look for," the diver told the chopper pilot.
"How could you possibly know what kind of ship it was?" replied the pilot.
"It was a dictatorship."
A Mexican dock worker is loading a ship...
A Mexican dock worker is loading a boat with a shipment of French cuisine, when his boss happens to walk by. The boss asks, "hey, what's that you're loading over there?"
The dock worker replies, "Es cargo."
A cargo ship carrying a shipment of mannequins sunk to the ocean floor
It was one thousand legs under the sea.
One man's cargo pants...
...are another man's skinny jeans
Cargo Owl Joke
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep.
I was so close to buying my dream car, I just had one final question for the salesman
Cargo space? I asked
After a second of confusion, he replies: Car no do that. Car go road.
A ship with a cargo of red paint collided with a ship loaded with brown paint.
Both are now maroon
I was talking to an Amtrak conductor and asked if he was carrying any cargo. You know what he said to me?
I'm a freight not.
Two people are looking at a new car...
Two people are looking at a car. The first person looks at the trunk and says, "Cargo space?"
The second person looks at the other as if he's crazy. "Car no do that. Car no fly."
A man buying a car
He looked at the car and questioned:
-cargo space?
The car dealer said:
-car no do that
Car go road
Knock Knock..
Who's there?
Cargo.
Cargo who?
Nope. Owl go who. Car go beep beep.
The same woman lost her car keys.
Her husband comes out and says, "What's wrong?"
She says, "I lost my keys!"
He takes off his trousers, rolls them into a ball and starts rubbing the ignition switch. Magically the vehicle starts up.
"WOW! How did you do that?"
"Honey, these are my cargo pants."
What do you call a snail's luggage?
Its cargo
In order for The Mandalorian's ship to take off he had to ensure his crew and cargo wasn't too heavy.
This is the weigh.
Cargo Space
So, a man goes into a car dealership. He asks the dealer, "cargo space?". The dealer replies "car no do that. car go road."
When your canals don't work like they used to before, And I can't sweep past by your fleet, Will your cargo still remember the haste that I drove? Will your passage be blocked up for weeks?
'Cause, honey, your hull will always go slow, it's evergreen.
\~Capt. Ed Sheeran
What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?
Don't let him drive that cargo freighter,
don't let him steer that cargo freighter,
don't let him near that cargo freighter,
early in the morning.
I was out by the street trying to hitchhike but every single car I stuck my thumb out for just passed me by. I began to wonder if itbhad something to do with the cargo shorts I was wearing.
So I went home and put on some carstop shorts, and had much better success at hitchhiking after that.
[while new car shopping] Customer: "Cargo space?"
Salesman: "Car no do that. Car go road."
What did the Mexican truck driver say in his defense when he got pulled over with ten tons of imported snails?
Es Cargo.
Did you hear about the ship that crashed on an island with a cargo of red and brown paint?
Apparently the whole crew was marooned.
What does a Spanish speaking person say when you ask him what is in his container full of snails?
Es Cargo!
Mayonnaise
In 1912, the Titanic sank and everyone still talks about it to this day.
But only weeks after the incident, another ship fell victim to the harsh ocean. This was a large cargo ship that contains various products that were supposed to be delivered to Mexico, among them were sugar, coffee beans, but the bulk of the shipment comprised of mayonnaise. You see, Mexicans love mayonnaise. That's why when it happened on a sad day in May 5th, the whole mexican wept for the fallen sailors and the delicious products they were supposed to enjoy.
Since then, the day of mourning came to be: >!Sinko De Mayo!<
Dad is down at the auto dealership, looking at potential choices.
Cargo space? he asks.
The salesman, slightly confused, finally replies, Car no do that... car go road.
A Spanish man is driving a tractor trailer across France and into Italy.
A Spanish man is driving a tractor trailer across France and into Italy. At the border he gets stopped by the French police and questioned about the contents of his truck. "Caracoles" he says. Not understanding, the police open it up and say "Oh, escargots." The Spanish man replies, "Sì, es cargo."
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Less Cargo.
