The Best 71 Cares Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cares jokes. There are some cares palestinian jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cares lawn care puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cares Jokes and Puns

Hitler walks into a room... (sorry if repost)

...and says to his staff, "I want you to organise the execution of 10,000 Jews and 1 kitten."
Everyone looks around the table and after a long silence, Goering pipes up, "Mein Führer, why do you want to kill a kitten?"
Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table, "You see, no one cares about the Jews."

Nobody cares about Nihilism.

The punchline.

Bunny

A little girl walks into a pet shop. She asks the owner for a bunny, to which he responds "what kind of bunny would you like? A cute black one, an adorable brown one or perhaps a sweet little white one?"

The girl looks at the owner and answers: "I don't think my python really cares..."

Cares joke, Bunny

Hitler and Stalin walk together in the afterlife

... they stop next two people and Hitler tells Stalin: "Let me tell you of my plan: I am going to kill six million Jews and a mechanic.

one of the two people hear this and asks Hitler "Why kill the mechanic?"

Hitler turns to Stalin and says: "see? I told you nobody cares about the Jews"

Hitler in a bar

A.man walks into a bar and sees Hitler there.
He goes up to Hitler and asks "So how many people have you killed?"

Hitler says "I have killed 6 million Jews and 2 clowns "

The man replies "Why did you kill 2 clowns?"

Hitler replies "See nobody cares about the Jews"


A long day at the hospital

After a long day working at the hospital 3 doctors are walking home:

- "After seeing so many patients, it's really nice to see normal, healthy people" says the first doctor, a GP
- "Not only that, they are actually alive" answers the coroner
- "Who cares about all that! Just look at all those faces! Lovely, lovely human faces!" shouts the proctologist

Nobody cares about the Jews

Hitler and his men are having a meeting,

Hitler: We will kill 6 million Jews and 1 clown.

Men: Why the clown?

Hitler: See! I told you nobody cares about the Jews!

Cares joke, Nobody cares about the Jews

Vladimir Putin and Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi (leader of ISIS) jump off a tall building together. Who hits the ground first?

Who cares?

If you ever feel as thought nobody cares about what you do

Just post something with a spelling mistake in it.

So I saw Hitler walking down the street.

I asked him, "So Hitler,what have you been doing recently?"

He said, " Well you see, this time I'm going to kill six million Jews and two clowns."

So I asked "Why the two clowns?"

He replied "See, no one cares about the jews!"

Women are alot like continents.

At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.

You can explore cares policies reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cares care dad jokes. There are also cares puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did the existential nihilist cross the road?

Who cares.

I don't know how to spell Armaggedon

But who cares - it's not the end of the world!

The little bit of decent human being left in me finds cannibalism to be wrong...

but who cares, he was delicious!

Ran Into Hitler

I ran into Hitler. I was surprised to see him and asked him what he was up to. He said, This time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and two clowns!
I replied, Two Clowns? Why are you going to kill two clowns?
He replied, See? Nobody cares about zee Jews.

What do you call a mass transit system that also cares deeply about humanitarian work?

A Bonorail.

Cares joke, What do you call a mass transit system that also cares deeply about humanitarian work?

Hitler and his generals are going over his plans for the Jews.

"I'm going to kill 6 million Jews and a clown." One of his generals asks him why a clown. Hitler responds, "See I told you no one cares about the Jews!"

Two historians are discussing about the Holocaust

\- The holocaust wasn't that bad; says one of them.

\- Are you out of your mind?; the other one replies.

\- What if I were to kill 6 million Jews and one actress?

\- But why the actress?

\- See, nobody ever cares about the Jews.

What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant?

Who cares? It's a relephant.


Do you remember how before social media nobody cared what, where and with whom you ate?

Still nobody cares.

So they've finally got Hitler in court..

And the Judge says to him, "Adolf, if you were given a chance to change anything about what you've done, what would you do?"

Hitler replies, "Well first I'd kill a few million more Jews, and then I'd kill a clown."

With a contorted face the Judge asks, "Why would you kill a clown?"

Hitler says, "See--nobody cares about the Jews."

Two friends are having a conversation about World War 2

The holocaust wasn't that bad.

Of course it was!

I'm going to go out and kill a million Jews and one clown.

Why the clown?

See, no one cares about the Jews.

An old Hitler joke

Some time ago, a medium contacted Hitler's spirit by accident. Out of curiosity, he decided to listen to what Hitler had to say.

"Listen to my words, you little brat: I'm gonna reincarnate someday, and I'm gonna kill six million Jews and two dogs".

"Why the two dogs?" the medium replied.

"See, nobody cares about the Jews!"

"Mr. Trump, have you changed your plans for mass deportation?"

"No, I have not. I will deport 11 million undocumented immigrants and two dogs."

"Why the two dogs?"

"See? Nobody cares about the immigrants!"

So my friend tells me "The holocaust wasn't that bad."

I say "Of course it was!"

He replies "I'm going to go out and kill a million Jews and one clown."

I say "Why the clown?"

He says "See, no one cares about the Jews."

Crime

A bus conductor was making his rounds for collecting fares. On reaching a mischievous boy, the conductor asked the boy for his fare.
Boy: My name is crime.
Bus Conductor: Who cares?
Boy: Do you know that crime does not pay?

Who cares if you pee in the shower?

The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Trump walks into the Oval office, turns to his administrative team and says, I want to organise the deportation of 10,000 Muslims and one kitten.

Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Mike Pence says. Mr. President, why do you want to deport a kitten? Trump smiles and turns to the rest of the table. You see, no one cares about the Muslims.

I'm tired of people talking about how strong ants are.

I can pick up a leaf too, who cares.

"Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes."

After that who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

Abort a baby at 1 month, nobody cares.

Abort it at 24 months, suddenly you're a monster.

Problem Child

Psychiatrist to the mother of a problem child:
"You are far too upset and worried about your son. I'm going to prescribe some tranquilizers for you. I suggest you take them regularly."
On the next visit: "So, have the tranquilizers calmed you down?"
"Yes, they have."
"And how is your son now?"
"Who cares?!?"

Hitler was talking to one of his generals,

Hitler: I want to kill 6 million jews and 5 clowns.

General: Why the 5 clowns?

Hitler: See? Nobody cares about ze jews!

Hitler walked in to a bar...

The bartenders says "whoa, hitler I thought you were dead"

Hitler says "no, just hiding. I'm planning to kill the rest of the Jews and 5 clowns"

The bartender asks "why the clowns?"

Hitler says "see no one cares about Jews"

So I proposed a new bill to my congressman that would deport 1,000,000 Mexicans and 1 chicken

When he asked about the chicken I said "See no one cares about the Mexicans"

Don't you love it when you get beautiful texts from someone that cares about you?

So eloquently written, it ties your stomach in knots. Writing so succinct and captivating it gets your heart pounding and racing. Using words that convey such great ideas. I got one like that one today. It read

"Ballistic missile threat inbound to Hawaii. Seek immediate shelter. This is not a drill."

Truly powerful words. They **blew** me away

Kid and dad

A kid asks his dad, "What's a man?"

The dad says, "A man is someone who is responsible and cares for their family.

" The kid says, "I hope one day I can be a man just like mom!"

You can really see how much Trump cares about creating jobs in this country

The White House seems to always be hiring.

What do you call an animal that nobody cares about?

Irrelephant.

Told a stranger on a bus that I liked rhetorical questions.

He said, "Who cares?"
I said, "that's a classic!"

"The holocaust wasn't that bad"

"The holocaust wasn't *that* bad"
"Of course it was!"
"I'll prove it. I'll kill a million jews and one horse"
"Why the horse?"
"See? Nobody cares about the jews!"

If you think nobody cares if you're alive..

Try missing a couple of payments.

I find it strange how everyone suddenly cares about straws killing dolphins...

They've been breaking camels' backs for years.

Doc: "Is this better, or is this better?"

Patient: "They're both terrible..."
Doc: "OK, C.... or D?"
Patient: "Why does it even matter?"
Doc: "E... or F?"
Patient: "Who cares... Everything is awful..."
Doc: "Okay sir, you're going to have to leave."
Patient: "Whatever"

And that, my friends, illustrates the essential difference between pessimists and optometrists.

I hate it when people publicly express their opinions needlessly, just seeking attention when nobody cares.

But that's just my opinion.

The tagline of World Health Organization

WHO cares!

If you think no one cares about you...

Stop paying your bills and see how many people want to talk to you.

Who cares if Apple is worth 10^12

I heard Google is worth 10^100

A child asked his father: "Dad, What is a man?"

A child asked his father: "Dad, What is a man?"

Dad: "A man is someone who loves you unconditionally , cares about you and protects you!"

Child: "Oh okay! When i grow up, I want to be a man just like mom!"

Who really cares how much sex you have?

It's the thot that counts.

A man walks into a bar and sees a man that looks like Adolph Hitler

sitting at the end of the bar. He walks up to him and asks "are you really Hitler?" The man stands up and says loudly, "Ja, ich bin Adolph Hitler. I killed 6 million Jews and 1 Mexican." The man says, "wait, why did you kill a Mexican?" Hitler says "Sehen Sie! See? That is what i mean, no one cares about the jews."

Words are like Babies

Nobody cares until you start throwing them.

I ran into Hitler.

I was surprised to see him and asked him what he was up to.

This time, I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns!

Two clowns? Why are you going to kill two clowns?

See? Nobody cares about ze Jews!

Trump to bartender: We are going to nuke Pakistan & kill Mia Khalifa

Bartender: why mia khalifa?

Trump to Imaran Khan: see nobody cares about Pakistan!

It was revealing when Americans bought toilet paper at the start of the COVID-19 Crisis

It goes to show in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, The Average American only cares about his own ass.

The 40 year old health care worker who cares for newborns started questioning her career choices, then flipped out and left town

I guess she was having a midwife crisis

What did Odysseus say to the depressed Cyclops?

Nobody cares.

Who the heck cares about learning the Roman Numeral system?

I for one...

Donald trump said he cares more about the health and safety of the American public than he does about money.

Well *I* laughed when he said it.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive,

Try not paying your taxes.

A little girl walk into a pet shop...

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks for a bunny. The worker says the fluffy white one or the fluffy brown one ? The girl then says, I don't think my python really cares.

Reddit is kinda like Instagram, I hate to say

Nobody cares unless you show your cake

A girl tells her mom she's dating the guy next door

The mom's like you can't date him he could be your dad

And the daughter is like so there's an age difference who cares

I think you misunderstood me

What do you call someone who keeps talking even if nobody cares?

A teacher

5 things that no one cares about

1. Lists

A car driver hits a low flying parrot

He takes the unconscious parrot, home and cares for it.
The next day it regains consciousness and finds himself in a cage. It gets surprised and says, " W-w-wait, jail? Did the car driver die?"

Knock knock. Who's there ? A broken pencil. A broken pencil who ?

who cares it's pointless

Nobody cares that today is my cake day...

I feel desserted...

It's my cake day and no one cares

I feel caked…pied….I mean desserted

Russian, Ukrainian and Ethiopian babies got mixed up at birth.

The doctors invited their fathers so they could try to figure out which baby belongs to whom. Ukrainian father without any hesitation just takes an Ethiopian child and is about to leave the room.

"You idiot! Can't you see, this is obviously not your child!" - shouts Russian father

"Who cares, at least it's most certainly not a Moskal'"

I drove past the fire department the other day.

They had a big public awareness sign that read:
"Are your house numbers visible?"

I thought:
"Who cares? How about you just stop at the house that's on fire?"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cares caring lawyer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cares obama care piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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